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(JSOnline)   Juror: "Fark these deliberations, I'm going to Cancun"   (jsonline.com) divider line 83
    More: Stupid, Cancun, deliberations, Milwaukee County, jury, Jonathan Davis, rumors, Ivana Samardzic  
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7695 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Aug 2012 at 4:53 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-22 02:49:41 PM
I'd like to know first if she told the judge before hand that she had plans for a vacation in the next few days, because people lay out their time and money up front for that stuff (in this economy) and if they just disregarded her, or if she was just a dumbass and never said anything to anyone.
 
2012-08-22 03:29:47 PM

basemetal: I'd like to know first if she told the judge before hand that she had plans for a vacation in the next few days, because people lay out their time and money up front for that stuff (in this economy) and if they just disregarded her, or if she was just a dumbass and never said anything to anyone.


Personally, I'm betting on the "dumbass" angle.

"But she said it was OK because she'd done her three days and left her vote with the foreman."
 
2012-08-22 03:39:24 PM
The jury got the case of Spartacus Outlaw last Wednesday afternoon and met about two hours before being sent home with specific instructions to all reappear the next morning for continued deliberations.

IANAL, but I'm pretty sure you have to acquit someone with that awesome of name, no matter what.

/OTOH, Molestio de Turd IV gets the death penalty for driving infractions
 
2012-08-22 03:39:47 PM

PainInTheASP: basemetal: I'd like to know first if she told the judge before hand that she had plans for a vacation in the next few days, because people lay out their time and money up front for that stuff (in this economy) and if they just disregarded her, or if she was just a dumbass and never said anything to anyone.

Personally, I'm betting on the "dumbass" angle.

"But she said it was OK because she'd done her three days and left her vote with the foreman."


Yeah, probably.
 
2012-08-22 04:55:33 PM

PainInTheASP: Personally, I'm betting on the "dumbass" angle.

"But she said it was OK because she'd done her three days and left her vote with the foreman."


Meh, more than I expect from people. It's not like 12 Angry Men where people actually change their minds.
 
2012-08-22 04:57:15 PM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: The jury got the case of Spartacus Outlaw last Wednesday afternoon and met about two hours before being sent home with specific instructions to all reappear the next morning for continued deliberations.

IANAL, but I'm pretty sure you have to acquit someone with that awesome of name, no matter what.

/OTOH, Molestio de Turd IV gets the death penalty for driving infractions


THIS. Spartacus Outlaw? Not Guilty your honor!
 
2012-08-22 04:58:11 PM
I just submitted him to NOTY.
 
2012-08-22 04:58:17 PM
those tickets aren't refundable...
 
2012-08-22 04:58:45 PM
cdn.crushable.com
 
2012-08-22 04:58:59 PM
I once got of jury duty with a similar claim. Told the defense attorney and DA that I was heading for two weeks sailing in the Caribbean in just 3 days, and if either of them picked me, I could guarantee an immediate mistrial.
 
2012-08-22 04:59:07 PM
The jury got the case of Spartacus Outlaw

She probably fled in shear terror of the dude's name.
 
2012-08-22 05:00:54 PM
Confirming the identity of Spartacus Outlaw must've been a pain.
 
2012-08-22 05:05:45 PM
Honestly, she'd already given her vote. Other than courtroom theatrics, what else does the role entail?
 
2012-08-22 05:06:29 PM
i dont know how people get stuck with jury duty. just say Guilty! everyone is GUILTY!! youll never get picked.
 
2012-08-22 05:08:20 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: Honestly, she'd already given her vote. Other than courtroom theatrics, what else does the role entail?


Sentencing. Yes, usually sentencing is postponed, but not always.
 
2012-08-22 05:08:22 PM
Well people named Spartacus Outlaw break the law, only Outlaw will be Outlaw.

/I'm Spartacus Outlaw
 
2012-08-22 05:09:16 PM
Tell the judge the defendant has the aura of the wrongly accused, & i shall spend my dying breath convincing the other 11 Pharisees you toss in the starvation bunker with me
 
2012-08-22 05:09:37 PM

NotBabylonian20: i dont know how people get stuck with jury duty. just say Guilty! everyone is GUILTY!! youll never get picked.


or mention that you can't be impartial cause the defendant is a negro.
 
2012-08-22 05:11:38 PM

Dahnkster: I once got of jury duty with a similar claim. Told the defense attorney and DA that I was heading for two weeks sailing in the Caribbean in just 3 days, and if either of them picked me, I could guarantee an immediate mistrial.


The West Wing has lead me to believe that attempting that would end up with you getting thrown in jail. Unless Donna was getting bad advice from Sam.
 
2012-08-22 05:13:13 PM

fappomatic: AverageAmericanGuy: Honestly, she'd already given her vote. Other than courtroom theatrics, what else does the role entail?

Sentencing. Yes, usually sentencing is postponed, but not always.


If the court system weren't so perverted with politics and anti-royalism, judges would be determining sentences, not uneducated idiots sitting on the jury.
 
2012-08-22 05:13:40 PM

FlyingJ: Tell the judge the defendant has the aura of the wrongly accused, & i shall spend my dying breath convincing the other 11 Pharisees you toss in the starvation bunker with me


don't get fancy. they know its bullshiat.

just be racist. immediate no questions asked dismissal. You drop a "negro" or "colored" or the "n-bomb" and you're outta there so fast they might not validate your parking.
 
2012-08-22 05:13:47 PM

IAmRight: PainInTheASP: Personally, I'm betting on the "dumbass" angle.

"But she said it was OK because she'd done her three days and left her vote with the foreman."

Meh, more than I expect from people. It's not like 12 Angry Men where people actually change their minds.


Thats not my experience at all. I was recently on a jury and several people flipped their views over the course of the deliberation (both ways). If you take things seriously and do your job as a juror, then of course things can change. Remember peoples lives are in the balance (either liberty or financial) so if you are on a jury, take things seriously and listen to the instructions to follow.

AverageAmericanGuy: Honestly, she'd already given her vote. Other than courtroom theatrics, what else does the role entail?


You don't just vote. You have to participate in the process which should be much more involved. Once in the jury room things can go multiple directions but usually its not just a vote and go home. You go over charges and the evidence, ask for readback if something is unclear for someone. You discuss how the evidence fits the charges (or doesn't) and see what peoples views on the credibility of witnesses and evidence. If things are clear for everyone and the case is straight forward, you will usually wrap things up fairly quickly (minutes or an hour or two depending on the charges and complexity). If there is some disagreement then things can take days. If your not there and just have your cursory view from the trial, you really haven't done the job or given the defendant/prosecutor or plaintiff/defendant a fair shake.
 
2012-08-22 05:14:32 PM
Spartacus D Outlaw:
http://mugshots.com/US-Counties/Wisco nsin/Unsorted-WI/Spartacus-D-Out l aw.8639957.html

That's pure gold.
 
2012-08-22 05:14:48 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: fappomatic: AverageAmericanGuy: Honestly, she'd already given her vote. Other than courtroom theatrics, what else does the role entail?

Sentencing. Yes, usually sentencing is postponed, but not always.

If the court system weren't so perverted with politics and anti-royalism, judges would be determining sentences, not uneducated idiots sitting on the jury.


JUST FOR THAT I'M SENTENCING YOU
 
2012-08-22 05:16:31 PM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: IANAL, but I'm pretty sure you have to acquit someone with that awesome of name, no matter what.


Agreed. What a badass.

I bet he hangs out with Max Power and Handsome B. Wonderful.
 
2012-08-22 05:17:29 PM
If I wanted to get out of jury duty, I would just provide the defense and prosecution with links to my postings on Fark, Slashdot, Reason, and Volokh. If that's not enough, my wife also works for the state crime lab.
 
2012-08-22 05:17:36 PM

NotBabylonian20: i dont know how people get stuck with jury duty. just say Guilty! everyone is GUILTY!! youll never get picked.


I'm an ant hater. So if this trial involves ants, no way I'm gonna be fair.
 
2012-08-22 05:17:47 PM

Biness: FlyingJ: Tell the judge the defendant has the aura of the wrongly accused, & i shall spend my dying breath convincing the other 11 Pharisees you toss in the starvation bunker with me

don't get fancy. they know its bullshiat.

just be racist. immediate no questions asked dismissal. You drop a "negro" or "colored" or the "n-bomb" and you're outta there so fast they might not validate your parking.


And then never EVER let me hear you, on Fark or any other location, about how the justice system doesn't work, innocent people are sentenced and guilty go free, or any of the myriad complaints people always have about American jurisprudence after the gloat about how they didn't have to do jury duty.
 
2012-08-22 05:19:10 PM

Fluid: Confirming the identity of Spartacus Outlaw must've been a pain.


I didn't get that at first, but then I loled. Well done, sir.

/I'm Spartacus
 
2012-08-22 05:19:22 PM

NotBabylonian20: i dont know how people get stuck with jury duty. just say Guilty! everyone is GUILTY!! youll never get picked.


Or just tell the judge that you're prejudiced against all races.

/I keed
//Seriously, tell 'em that you believe in jury nullfication and they'll toss you without a second thought.
 
2012-08-22 05:21:07 PM
I always hear horror stories about getting out of jury duty. I've been called three times, and each time they gave us every opportunity to not stay if we had something else to do.
 
2012-08-22 05:21:11 PM
Who would have guessed that a guy named Spartacus Outlaw would get into legal trouble?

http://mugshots.com/US-Counties/Wisconsin/Unsorted-WI/Spartacus-D-Out l aw.8639957.html
 
2012-08-22 05:21:27 PM

Dahnkster: I once got of jury duty with a similar claim. Told the defense attorney and DA that I was heading for two weeks sailing in the Caribbean in just 3 days, and if either of them picked me, I could guarantee an immediate mistrial.


4.bp.blogspot.com

/Sun I am disappoint.
 
2012-08-22 05:21:35 PM
Stan Smith would never skip out on jury duty.
 
2012-08-22 05:22:43 PM
Last Jury Summons

Jury selection attorney: "EdNortonsTwin, have you ever served on a jury before?"

Me: "Yes, if they look guilty convict!!!" *tweak jaw*

Judge: You're excused.

Me: guily guilty guilty guil... *walking out door*

Haven't seen a summons in awhile.
 
2012-08-22 05:22:45 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: fappomatic: AverageAmericanGuy: Honestly, she'd already given her vote. Other than courtroom theatrics, what else does the role entail?

Sentencing. Yes, usually sentencing is postponed, but not always.

If the court system weren't so perverted with politics and anti-royalism, judges would be determining sentences, not uneducated idiots sitting on the jury.


It depends on the state. In California, the jury has no role in sentencing except in a couple specific areas. Death penalty cases where the jury determines after guilt if the defendant gets life without parole or death. IIf the charges allege a strike (violent or serious offense) the defendant can opt for the jury to determine if that defendant committed that offense in a hearing after the trial by the same jury. However, sentencing is beyond the scope of a jury and they cannot consider it in determining guilt or innocence of a defendant. It is left up to the judge to sentence a defendant based on the a series of options (low range, medium range, high range) determined by the judges evaluation of the appropriate level. Mid range is the default and if there is deviation low or high, the judge has to state why he is deviating.
 
2012-08-22 05:23:27 PM
"That can't be his real name... he just made it up for the war!"
 
2012-08-22 05:24:00 PM
Last month, I was called for jury selection (Dallas County). We watched the "jury duty is an honor" DVD and then sat around for a couple hours, waiting to be divvied up to various courtrooms. Then the jury services guy came in and said nobody needed jurors that day, so we were free to go. It was about 11:00. We all looked at each other kinda like we'd won a lottery, then got the hell out.

I know, it's a cool story.
 
2012-08-22 05:26:03 PM
Actually, the judge giggled and told me that I was dismissed.
 
2012-08-22 05:26:59 PM

Smelly Pirate Hooker: Last month, I was called for jury selection (Dallas County). We watched the "jury duty is an honor" DVD and then sat around for a couple hours, waiting to be divvied up to various courtrooms. Then the jury services guy came in and said nobody needed jurors that day, so we were free to go. It was about 11:00. We all looked at each other kinda like we'd won a lottery, then got the hell out.


This being New York, I was hoping for the fabled video with the cast of Law & Order and the high production values.

Instead, we got something called "It's Your Turn".
 
2012-08-22 05:27:24 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: fappomatic: AverageAmericanGuy: Honestly, she'd already given her vote. Other than courtroom theatrics, what else does the role entail?

Sentencing. Yes, usually sentencing is postponed, but not always.

If the court system weren't so perverted with politics and anti-royalism, judges would be determining sentences, not uneducated idiots sitting on the jury.


In nearly every state, the jurors are given sentencing guidelines and are asked to make a decision. It's not completely up to the jury. Not to mention that if the judge disagrees with the jury's decision as to guilt and sentence, the judge (in most states) has the authority to override the jury in the interest of *cough* justice.

You rarely see this happen but it does. Mostly in civil cases.

Then there are judges who are such pussies about it, they go out of their way to make sure the case goes to the apellate level just to get it off their docket.
 
2012-08-22 05:27:38 PM
Serbian girls are easy.
 
2012-08-22 05:28:04 PM
Actually serving on a jury is a trip. All you got to do is sit there and listen to the lawyers bullshiatting all over themselves.
On one jury I sat on there was a woman biatching because the local grocery store wouldn't let her shop there, because she would return 1/2 used cans/jars/packages of food claiming there was something wrong with it. The store had a restraining order, but she kept showing up.
 
2012-08-22 05:32:02 PM
Weren't there any alternates? I was on a jury for a Civil case a couple years ago and we had 3 alternates.

She should definitely be punished, but why are there only 11 jurors left?
 
2012-08-22 05:32:02 PM
...here lemme try.

dailyfill.com

Honey Boo Boo died for your sins.
 
2012-08-22 05:32:14 PM

MasterThief: NotBabylonian20: i dont know how people get stuck with jury duty. just say Guilty! everyone is GUILTY!! youll never get picked.

Or just tell the judge that you're prejudiced against all races.

/I keed
//Seriously, tell 'em that you believe in jury nullfication and they'll toss you without a second thought.


jury nullification takes place in the grand jury system not trial jury.
 
2012-08-22 05:32:16 PM

freewill:
Instead, we got something called "It's Your Turn".

(in the barrel)
 
2012-08-22 05:34:11 PM

Gyrfalcon: Biness: FlyingJ: Tell the judge the defendant has the aura of the wrongly accused, & i shall spend my dying breath convincing the other 11 Pharisees you toss in the starvation bunker with me

don't get fancy. they know its bullshiat.

just be racist. immediate no questions asked dismissal. You drop a "negro" or "colored" or the "n-bomb" and you're outta there so fast they might not validate your parking.

And then never EVER let me hear you, on Fark or any other location, about how the justice system doesn't work, innocent people are sentenced and guilty go free, or any of the myriad complaints people always have about American jurisprudence after the gloat about how they didn't have to do jury duty.


Some Farker in a similar thread said something like "No I don't try to get out of jury duty because if I ever have to have a jury trial, I don't want my jury to be 'people too stupid to get out of jury duty.'"

That said, people might be a lot more willing to serve if the pay were more than $15 per DAY. I know there are provisions for financial hardship, but I have to think that there are many more people who would be put into hardship positions than can actually prove it.
 
2012-08-22 05:36:55 PM
Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury...this...IS...Spartacus!

Outlaw. Spartacus Outlaw. What? He's the defendant. Geez, cut me some slack, jack.
 
2012-08-22 05:43:41 PM

Smelly Pirate Hooker: Last month, I was called for jury selection (Dallas County). We watched the "jury duty is an honor" DVD and then sat around for a couple hours, waiting to be divvied up to various courtrooms. Then the jury services guy came in and said nobody needed jurors that day, so we were free to go. It was about 11:00. We all looked at each other kinda like we'd won a lottery, then got the hell out.

I know, it's a cool story.


That happened to me back in 2004, good times!
 
2012-08-22 05:45:57 PM

the_vicious_fez: That said, people might be a lot more willing to serve if the pay were more than $15 per DAY.


That would require larger budgets for the court...which would back up into higher taxes...and we're already taxed enough already.
 
2012-08-22 05:47:20 PM

NotBabylonian20: MasterThief: NotBabylonian20: i dont know how people get stuck with jury duty. just say Guilty! everyone is GUILTY!! youll never get picked.

Or just tell the judge that you're prejudiced against all races.

/I keed
//Seriously, tell 'em that you believe in jury nullification and they'll toss you without a second thought.

jury nullification takes place in the grand jury system not trial jury.


It can be done on both grand and petit (trial) juries. (One of my lawyer friends was on a federal grand jury for a month. She voted to no-bill every simple drug possession charge, after she caught the AUSA playing fast and loose with some of the facts in one.)
 
2012-08-22 05:51:19 PM

Rufus Lee King: Dahnkster: I once got of jury duty with a similar claim. Told the defense attorney and DA that I was heading for two weeks sailing in the Caribbean in just 3 days, and if either of them picked me, I could guarantee an immediate mistrial.

I don't think I'd have the courage to try that one.


Actually, in CA (at least in this part), you can mention that as an excuse; they may just postpone your jury duty for a few months.

Last time I went in for jury duty, they needed jurists for a long (>2 week case) and they specifically were screening people out before they were assigned to the trial room, including vacation/trip plans.

Also, last time, someone tried to get out of a criminal trial by saying he couldn't trust cops. Judge got pissed at him for pretty much blatantly lying (or what it seemed to most of us as a bad attempt to get out of jury duty) that he re-assigned the guy to the civil court jury pool (civil cases tend to take longer to complete). So...pick your excuse wisely...
 
2012-08-22 05:51:35 PM

NotBabylonian20: MasterThief: NotBabylonian20: i dont know how people get stuck with jury duty. just say Guilty! everyone is GUILTY!! youll never get picked.

Or just tell the judge that you're prejudiced against all races.

/I keed
//Seriously, tell 'em that you believe in jury nullfication and they'll toss you without a second thought.

jury nullification takes place in the grand jury system not trial jury.


It takes place in either phase. Your definition would preclude nullification in jurisdictions where grand juries are not used.
 
2012-08-22 05:57:49 PM

friedo: NotBabylonian20: MasterThief: NotBabylonian20: i dont know how people get stuck with jury duty. just say Guilty! everyone is GUILTY!! youll never get picked.

Or just tell the judge that you're prejudiced against all races.

/I keed
//Seriously, tell 'em that you believe in jury nullfication and they'll toss you without a second thought.

jury nullification takes place in the grand jury system not trial jury.

It takes place in either phase. Your definition would preclude nullification in jurisdictions where grand juries are not used.


yeah that should be illegal to revoke the right to grand jury. the morons in the US dont realize what they have gotten rid of. if i were ina state that had no grand jury i would demand one. that is one of our protection from unlawful prosecution.
 
2012-08-22 05:58:05 PM

basemetal: I'd like to know first if she told the judge before hand that she had plans for a vacation in the next few days, because people lay out their time and money up front for that stuff (in this economy) and if they just disregarded her, or if she was just a dumbass and never said anything to anyone.


It's amazing how easy it is to describe a hardship and get a rescheduling. If you say you want to be rescheduled for a later date (I was in school at the time and it was finals) they are more than willing to "put you back in the hopper" for another draw. 5 minutes on the phone is all it takes, if that.

It's not rocket science.
 
2012-08-22 06:00:04 PM
t0.gstatic.com

Outlaw. Spartacus Outlaw.

/hot
 
2012-08-22 06:06:16 PM

the_vicious_fez: Gyrfalcon: Biness: FlyingJ: Tell the judge the defendant has the aura of the wrongly accused, & i shall spend my dying breath convincing the other 11 Pharisees you toss in the starvation bunker with me

don't get fancy. they know its bullshiat.

just be racist. immediate no questions asked dismissal. You drop a "negro" or "colored" or the "n-bomb" and you're outta there so fast they might not validate your parking.

And then never EVER let me hear you, on Fark or any other location, about how the justice system doesn't work, innocent people are sentenced and guilty go free, or any of the myriad complaints people always have about American jurisprudence after the gloat about how they didn't have to do jury duty.

Some Farker in a similar thread said something like "No I don't try to get out of jury duty because if I ever have to have a jury trial, I don't want my jury to be 'people too stupid to get out of jury duty.'"

That said, people might be a lot more willing to serve if the pay were more than $15 per DAY. I know there are provisions for financial hardship, but I have to think that there are many more people who would be put into hardship positions than can actually prove it.


It is an awful hardship, and yet in these kinds of threads, nobody ever seems to mention it. It's always how they put one over on Da Man, as far as I can tell, and not wanting to waste their time. It's always about how you can get excused and walk out smirking past the fools who were too dumb to think of your clever excuse.

And yet, when we hear about a jury convicting on zero evidence or imposing absurdly harsh sentences...nobody ever seems to think that the reason is that all the smart people "got out" of jury duty laughing about the dummies who stayed. It's THOSE DUMMIES who are sentencing retarded men to death, you know, and once the jury verdict is in it is nearly impossible to get it overturned. The American justice system just WILL NOT reverse a decision by those twelve people too stupid to get out of jury duty. So if you don't like bad verdicts, maybe you smart people should be sitting on juries instead.
 
2012-08-22 06:06:17 PM
Why would they go on with only 11 jurors? Aren't there alternate jurors?
 
2012-08-22 06:15:41 PM
Has anybody mentioned 'jury nullification'. Because if you start discussing it, you will usually be excused faster than a legitimate rape baby in a spastic tube.
 
2012-08-22 06:23:38 PM

fappomatic: AverageAmericanGuy: fappomatic: AverageAmericanGuy: Honestly, she'd already given her vote. Other than courtroom theatrics, what else does the role entail?

Sentencing. Yes, usually sentencing is postponed, but not always.

If the court system weren't so perverted with politics and anti-royalism, judges would be determining sentences, not uneducated idiots sitting on the jury.

In nearly every state, the jurors are given sentencing guidelines and are asked to make a decision. It's not completely up to the jury. Not to mention that if the judge disagrees with the jury's decision as to guilt and sentence, the judge (in most states) has the authority to override the jury in the interest of *cough* justice.

You rarely see this happen but it does. Mostly in civil cases.


ONLY in civil cases! A jury's verdict is utterly final in criminal cases. In the U. S., I should add. Your country may vary.
 
2012-08-22 06:27:23 PM

Pray 4 Mojo: I've always thought it frightening that (if I were to be charged with something serious) my fate would be decided by 12 people too stupid to get out of jury duty.


You'd rather it was decided by people who lack honor?
 
2012-08-22 06:31:53 PM

Gyrfalcon: the_vicious_fez: Gyrfalcon: Biness: FlyingJ: Tell the judge the defendant has the aura of the wrongly accused, & i shall spend my dying breath convincing the other 11 Pharisees you toss in the starvation bunker with me

don't get fancy. they know its bullshiat.

just be racist. immediate no questions asked dismissal. You drop a "negro" or "colored" or the "n-bomb" and you're outta there so fast they might not validate your parking.

And then never EVER let me hear you, on Fark or any other location, about how the justice system doesn't work, innocent people are sentenced and guilty go free, or any of the myriad complaints people always have about American jurisprudence after the gloat about how they didn't have to do jury duty.

Some Farker in a similar thread said something like "No I don't try to get out of jury duty because if I ever have to have a jury trial, I don't want my jury to be 'people too stupid to get out of jury duty.'"

That said, people might be a lot more willing to serve if the pay were more than $15 per DAY. I know there are provisions for financial hardship, but I have to think that there are many more people who would be put into hardship positions than can actually prove it.

It is an awful hardship, and yet in these kinds of threads, nobody ever seems to mention it. It's always how they put one over on Da Man, as far as I can tell, and not wanting to waste their time. It's always about how you can get excused and walk out smirking past the fools who were too dumb to think of your clever excuse.

And yet, when we hear about a jury convicting on zero evidence or imposing absurdly harsh sentences...nobody ever seems to think that the reason is that all the smart people "got out" of jury duty laughing about the dummies who stayed. It's THOSE DUMMIES who are sentencing retarded men to death, you know, and once the jury verdict is in it is nearly impossible to get it overturned. The American justice system just WILL NOT reverse a decision by those twelve people too stupid to get out of jury duty. So if you don't like bad verdicts, maybe you smart people should be sitting on juries instead.


Been in three jury selections, never chosen. The lawyers involved literally removed anyone with a modicum of intelligence. They only want idiots with no ability to contextualize evidence or question whatever they are being told by whomever is speaking.

My last jury pool included two lawyers, dismissed automatically because they are lawyers. I chatted with them over lunch about this and they both said that anyone who can contextualize anything is the last person they would select. And while they agreed that eyewitness testimony is completely unreliable, a juror has to be able to accept every bit of evidence as equally valid.

Sadly, they told me that there was no way of getting a permanent exemption due to being overly smart. The system, they declared, was not smart enough to do this.

\would actually like to serve on a jury
 
2012-08-22 06:32:53 PM
It doesn't take much to get rescheduled. Call when you are first assigned a date, or if something comes up later tell the court clerk. Pretty easy. you will get shuffled to a later jury pool.

My last case everyone that would suffer a financial hardship from being in court for 2 weeks was automatically dismissed. So small business owners or folks that were the only person in a small department were dismissed after only a question or two.

I ended up being dismissed because it was a wrongful death suit where the family wanted a ton of money from the police department and I stated during questioning that it better be a massive error and not a lapse of judgement to be getting any significant reward. Kicked by the defense.
 
2012-08-22 06:54:55 PM
It's not s goddamn vote. You have to come to an agreement.
 
2012-08-22 07:01:09 PM
Pray 4 Mojo Just remembered... I have a $50 bench warrant in Idaho for skipping jury duty.

PAY IT...BEFORE THEY DO TO YOU WHAT THEY DID TO RANDY QUAID
1.bp.blogspot.com
Now, back 2 yer thread "Jury Nullification For Teh Lulz"
 
2012-08-22 07:10:57 PM

fappomatic: AverageAmericanGuy: fappomatic: AverageAmericanGuy: Honestly, she'd already given her vote. Other than courtroom theatrics, what else does the role entail?

Sentencing. Yes, usually sentencing is postponed, but not always.

If the court system weren't so perverted with politics and anti-royalism, judges would be determining sentences, not uneducated idiots sitting on the jury.

In nearly every state, the jurors are given sentencing guidelines and are asked to make a decision. It's not completely up to the jury. Not to mention that if the judge disagrees with the jury's decision as to guilt and sentence, the judge (in most states) has the authority to override the jury in the interest of *cough* justice.

You rarely see this happen but it does. Mostly in civil cases.

Then there are judges who are such pussies about it, they go out of their way to make sure the case goes to the apellate level just to get it off their docket.


It's called a "judgment notwithstanding the verdict." It mostly happens in situations where the jury has blatantly ignored the law or come up with an egregious decision, i.e. someone sues McDonald's and produces absolutely no evidence, but the jury sides with them because they hate McDonald's. More common is a "directed verdict," where the judge tells the jury they can only rule one way. It is used in both civil and criminal cases, but in criminal law it can only be in favor of the defendant.

Both can be appealed as well.
 
2012-08-22 07:11:36 PM

BolloxReader: Been in three jury selections, never chosen. The lawyers involved literally removed anyone with a modicum of intelligence. They only want idiots with no ability to contextualize evidence or question whatever they are being told by whomever is speaking.

My last jury pool included two lawyers, dismissed automatically because they are lawyers. I chatted with them over lunch about this and they both said that anyone who can contextualize anything is the last person they would select. And while they agreed that eyewitness testimony is completely unreliable, a juror has to be able to accept every bit of evidence as equally valid.

Sadly, they told me that there was no way of getting a permanent exemption due to being overly smart. The system, they declared, was not smart enough to do this.

\would actually like to serve on a jury


It really depends on the philosophy of the attorney's, the nature of the charges, and a gut feeling on who is selected and who is removed. Some attorney's like educated people on a jury if the case is complex in the hopes that they can educate others or answer questions the judge can't answer in chambers. The real problem is financial. The large pool of jurors who would make excellent jurors don't want to participate because it costs too much money. That leaves those that get paid (government employees, the unemployed, or retirees for the most part) who are there because they aren't affected. If the pay was increased, less people would have an issue with serving. Of course the judicial system is already falling apart so fat chance of increasing juror pay.
 
2012-08-22 07:19:41 PM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: The jury got the case of Spartacus Outlaw last Wednesday afternoon and met about two hours before being sent home with specific instructions to all reappear the next morning for continued deliberations.

IANAL, but I'm pretty sure you have to acquit someone with that awesome of name, no matter what.

/OTOH, Molestio de Turd IV gets the death penalty for driving infractions


Either of those would make good Fark handles.
 
2012-08-22 07:21:39 PM
I too would like to actually sit on a jury. I got a summons once, but I was number 88 in the que and they only called up to 82. Around the same time, my husband was number 5 on the list for federal jurors for that term and they never called any of those guys, fortunately for him because he reeeally did not want to serve. It's sad really, like a Karmic selection process. The more you don't want to serve the closer you get to it.
 
2012-08-22 07:45:51 PM
I served on a jury last year and listened to the people give the reasons why they couldn't serve was beyond ridiculous. I get that people don't want to do it but that's how our system works.

Boring slip and fall case and I felt bad for the woman that was suing because her lawyers were beyond inept. It took them 3 days to present their evidence when it should have taken 2 hours. I was sick as hell and ended up with food poisoning right before deliberations. It's a real treat to have to shiat your brains out in the bathroom that's inside the jury room. Good times.
 
2012-08-22 07:56:58 PM
I had a buddy go up for jury duty a few weeks ago... Once they found out he was a Mason, he was excused faster than someone yelling "Jury Nullification"...

He also knew about half the cops in the court house due to this, so that helped when he kept calling the deputies by their first names...
 
2012-08-22 08:06:47 PM

Dahnkster: Has anybody mentioned 'jury nullification'. Because if you start discussing it, you will usually be excused faster than a legitimate rape baby in a spastic tube.


A+ metaphor.
 
2012-08-22 08:33:57 PM
DNRTFA, but I am henceforth going to exit every Monday AM staff meeting with "Fark these deliberations, I'm going to Cancun."
 
2012-08-22 08:57:55 PM

BolloxReader: Been in three jury selections, never chosen. The lawyers involved literally removed anyone with a modicum of intelligence. They only want idiots with no ability to contextualize evidence or question whatever they are being told by whomever is speaking.

My last jury pool included two lawyers, dismissed automatically because they are lawyers. I chatted with them over lunch about this and they both said that anyone who can contextualize anything is the last person they would select. And while they agreed that eyewitness testimony is completely unreliable, a juror has to be able to accept every bit of evidence as equally valid.

Sadly, they told me that there was no way of getting a permanent exemption due to being overly smart. The system, they declared, was not smart enough to do this.

\would actually like to serve on a jury


The best thing, imo, would be to make jury duty compulsory and nonexcusable. Everyone serves: the blind and the retarded, the crippled and the unemployed, the businessman and the lawyer. Period. The only other fair way to do it is to have everyone serve on a one-year mandatory jury: Like a grand jury, there would be a set group of people who for one year did NOTHING but serve on juries. All of them.

There would have to be a massive reworking of the justice system, in order to pay these folks for a year, deal with sequestration, etc.; but it would probably be fairer and cheaper in the long run than calling random groups of unwilling citizens in and both them and the lawyers finding ways to keep them out.
 
Poe
2012-08-22 10:00:16 PM
I was called only once, about 10 years ago. Figured having family in law enforcement would get me off, but ended up serving on a civil trial. Medical malpractice, doc butchered this girl doing a breast reduction. The before photos were a nice way to start the day, the after photos not so much.
 
2012-08-22 11:04:48 PM
if you really want out, just announce that you believe in jury nullification.
 
2012-08-22 11:12:21 PM
I'll cheerfully sit in on any jury; my employer pays it as administrative leave. I want one of those year long trials.
 
2012-08-22 11:39:51 PM
From the same site where Spartacus's mugshot was found: this guy has seen some shiat that'll turn you white.
thumbs.mugshots.com
 
2012-08-23 07:24:21 AM
Jury duty is new slavery
you don't want to be there
you are FORCED by law to be there
you are paid almost nothing
you are not allowed to talk about anything you do

Jury of peers my ass
 
2012-08-23 10:22:08 AM

ZombiesYall: From the same site where Spartacus's mugshot was found: this guy has seen some shiat that'll turn you white.


He looks familiar.

imagemacros.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-08-23 01:38:43 PM

Pray 4 Mojo: So... dude's name is Spartacus Outlaw... yet we're reading a story about the juror?

WTF Fark?

"Kids: there's three ways to do things; the right way, the wrong way and the Max Power Spartacus Outlaw way!"


Isn't that the wrong way?
 
2012-08-23 04:55:08 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: If the court system weren't so perverted with politics and anti-royalism, judges would be determining sentences, not uneducated idiots sitting on the jury.


FAIL

How can you not realize the the juror is the last line of defense that the singular citizen has against a power-hungry, money burning, self-serving government. Judges are supposed to ensure fair trials, yet have you ever personally heard one to not take the word of a police officer as gospel? They are all agents of the government, and only 12 people stand between you and the very pit of hell they seek to cast you into, mostly in order to make their selves look good, for promotion or re-election. You'd better hope they're not idiots. You'd better hope they understand "reasonable doubt" and are willing to exercise a little. While CSI is quite a bit unrealistic as to the time necessary to collect evidence, it does a good job of presenting the idea that evidence needs to be iron-clad, not just "suggestive". Innocent until PROVEN guilty.
 
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