The jury got the case of Spartacus Outlaw last Wednesday afternoon and met about two hours before being sent home with specific instructions to all reappear the next morning for continued deliberations.

IANAL, but I'm pretty sure you have to acquit someone with that awesome of name, no matter what.

/OTOH, Molestio de Turd IV gets the death penalty for driving infractions

PainInTheASP: Personally, I'm betting on the "dumbass" angle.

"But she said it was OK because she'd done her three days and left her vote with the foreman."

Meh, more than I expect from people. It's not like 12 Angry Men where people actually change their minds.

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: The jury got the case of Spartacus Outlaw last Wednesday afternoon and met about two hours before being sent home with specific instructions to all reappear the next morning for continued deliberations.

IANAL, but I'm pretty sure you have to acquit someone with that awesome of name, no matter what.

/OTOH, Molestio de Turd IV gets the death penalty for driving infractions

THIS. Spartacus Outlaw? Not Guilty your honor!

I just submitted him to NOTY.

those tickets aren't refundable...

I once got of jury duty with a similar claim. Told the defense attorney and DA that I was heading for two weeks sailing in the Caribbean in just 3 days, and if either of them picked me, I could guarantee an immediate mistrial.

The jury got the case of Spartacus Outlaw

She probably fled in shear terror of the dude's name.

Confirming the identity of Spartacus Outlaw must've been a pain.

Honestly, she'd already given her vote. Other than courtroom theatrics, what else does the role entail?

i dont know how people get stuck with jury duty. just say Guilty! everyone is GUILTY!! youll never get picked.

Well people named Spartacus Outlaw break the law, only Outlaw will be Outlaw.

/I'm Spartacus Outlaw

Tell the judge the defendant has the aura of the wrongly accused, & i shall spend my dying breath convincing the other 11 Pharisees you toss in the starvation bunker with me

NotBabylonian20: i dont know how people get stuck with jury duty. just say Guilty! everyone is GUILTY!! youll never get picked.

or mention that you can't be impartial cause the defendant is a negro.

Dahnkster: I once got of jury duty with a similar claim. Told the defense attorney and DA that I was heading for two weeks sailing in the Caribbean in just 3 days, and if either of them picked me, I could guarantee an immediate mistrial.

The West Wing has lead me to believe that attempting that would end up with you getting thrown in jail. Unless Donna was getting bad advice from Sam.

fappomatic: AverageAmericanGuy: Honestly, she'd already given her vote. Other than courtroom theatrics, what else does the role entail?

Sentencing. Yes, usually sentencing is postponed, but not always.

If the court system weren't so perverted with politics and anti-royalism, judges would be determining sentences, not uneducated idiots sitting on the jury.

FlyingJ: Tell the judge the defendant has the aura of the wrongly accused, & i shall spend my dying breath convincing the other 11 Pharisees you toss in the starvation bunker with me

don't get fancy. they know its bullshiat.

just be racist. immediate no questions asked dismissal. You drop a "negro" or "colored" or the "n-bomb" and you're outta there so fast they might not validate your parking.

IAmRight: PainInTheASP: Personally, I'm betting on the "dumbass" angle.

"But she said it was OK because she'd done her three days and left her vote with the foreman."

Meh, more than I expect from people. It's not like 12 Angry Men where people actually change their minds.

Thats not my experience at all. I was recently on a jury and several people flipped their views over the course of the deliberation (both ways). If you take things seriously and do your job as a juror, then of course things can change. Remember peoples lives are in the balance (either liberty or financial) so if you are on a jury, take things seriously and listen to the instructions to follow.

AverageAmericanGuy: Honestly, she'd already given her vote. Other than courtroom theatrics, what else does the role entail?

You don't just vote. You have to participate in the process which should be much more involved. Once in the jury room things can go multiple directions but usually its not just a vote and go home. You go over charges and the evidence, ask for readback if something is unclear for someone. You discuss how the evidence fits the charges (or doesn't) and see what peoples views on the credibility of witnesses and evidence. If things are clear for everyone and the case is straight forward, you will usually wrap things up fairly quickly (minutes or an hour or two depending on the charges and complexity). If there is some disagreement then things can take days. If your not there and just have your cursory view from the trial, you really haven't done the job or given the defendant/prosecutor or plaintiff/defendant a fair shake.

Spartacus D Outlaw:
http://mugshots.com/US-Counties/Wisco nsin/Unsorted-WI/Spartacus-D-Out l aw.8639957.html

That's pure gold.

AverageAmericanGuy: fappomatic: AverageAmericanGuy: Honestly, she'd already given her vote. Other than courtroom theatrics, what else does the role entail?

Sentencing. Yes, usually sentencing is postponed, but not always.

If the court system weren't so perverted with politics and anti-royalism, judges would be determining sentences, not uneducated idiots sitting on the jury.

JUST FOR THAT I'M SENTENCING YOU

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: IANAL, but I'm pretty sure you have to acquit someone with that awesome of name, no matter what.

Agreed. What a badass.

I bet he hangs out with Max Power and Handsome B. Wonderful.

If I wanted to get out of jury duty, I would just provide the defense and prosecution with links to my postings on Fark, Slashdot, Reason, and Volokh. If that's not enough, my wife also works for the state crime lab.

NotBabylonian20: i dont know how people get stuck with jury duty. just say Guilty! everyone is GUILTY!! youll never get picked.

I'm an ant hater. So if this trial involves ants, no way I'm gonna be fair.

Biness: FlyingJ: Tell the judge the defendant has the aura of the wrongly accused, & i shall spend my dying breath convincing the other 11 Pharisees you toss in the starvation bunker with me

don't get fancy. they know its bullshiat.

just be racist. immediate no questions asked dismissal. You drop a "negro" or "colored" or the "n-bomb" and you're outta there so fast they might not validate your parking.

And then never EVER let me hear you, on Fark or any other location, about how the justice system doesn't work, innocent people are sentenced and guilty go free, or any of the myriad complaints people always have about American jurisprudence after the gloat about how they didn't have to do jury duty.

Fluid: Confirming the identity of Spartacus Outlaw must've been a pain.

I didn't get that at first, but then I loled. Well done, sir.

/I'm Spartacus

NotBabylonian20: i dont know how people get stuck with jury duty. just say Guilty! everyone is GUILTY!! youll never get picked.

Or just tell the judge that you're prejudiced against all races.

/I keed
//Seriously, tell 'em that you believe in jury nullfication and they'll toss you without a second thought.

I always hear horror stories about getting out of jury duty. I've been called three times, and each time they gave us every opportunity to not stay if we had something else to do.

Who would have guessed that a guy named Spartacus Outlaw would get into legal trouble?

http://mugshots.com/US-Counties/Wisconsin/Unsorted-WI/Spartacus-D-Out l aw.8639957.html

Dahnkster: I once got of jury duty with a similar claim. Told the defense attorney and DA that I was heading for two weeks sailing in the Caribbean in just 3 days, and if either of them picked me, I could guarantee an immediate mistrial.



/Sun I am disappoint.

Stan Smith would never skip out on jury duty.

Last Jury Summons

Jury selection attorney: "EdNortonsTwin, have you ever served on a jury before?"

Me: "Yes, if they look guilty convict!!!" *tweak jaw*

Judge: You're excused.

Me: guily guilty guilty guil... *walking out door*

Haven't seen a summons in awhile.

AverageAmericanGuy: fappomatic: AverageAmericanGuy: Honestly, she'd already given her vote. Other than courtroom theatrics, what else does the role entail?

Sentencing. Yes, usually sentencing is postponed, but not always.

If the court system weren't so perverted with politics and anti-royalism, judges would be determining sentences, not uneducated idiots sitting on the jury.

It depends on the state. In California, the jury has no role in sentencing except in a couple specific areas. Death penalty cases where the jury determines after guilt if the defendant gets life without parole or death. IIf the charges allege a strike (violent or serious offense) the defendant can opt for the jury to determine if that defendant committed that offense in a hearing after the trial by the same jury. However, sentencing is beyond the scope of a jury and they cannot consider it in determining guilt or innocence of a defendant. It is left up to the judge to sentence a defendant based on the a series of options (low range, medium range, high range) determined by the judges evaluation of the appropriate level. Mid range is the default and if there is deviation low or high, the judge has to state why he is deviating.

"That can't be his real name... he just made it up for the war!"

Last month, I was called for jury selection (Dallas County). We watched the "jury duty is an honor" DVD and then sat around for a couple hours, waiting to be divvied up to various courtrooms. Then the jury services guy came in and said nobody needed jurors that day, so we were free to go. It was about 11:00. We all looked at each other kinda like we'd won a lottery, then got the hell out.

I know, it's a cool story.

Actually, the judge giggled and told me that I was dismissed.

Smelly Pirate Hooker: Last month, I was called for jury selection (Dallas County). We watched the "jury duty is an honor" DVD and then sat around for a couple hours, waiting to be divvied up to various courtrooms. Then the jury services guy came in and said nobody needed jurors that day, so we were free to go. It was about 11:00. We all looked at each other kinda like we'd won a lottery, then got the hell out.

This being New York, I was hoping for the fabled video with the cast of Law & Order and the high production values.

Instead, we got something called "It's Your Turn".

Serbian girls are easy.

Actually serving on a jury is a trip. All you got to do is sit there and listen to the lawyers bullshiatting all over themselves.
On one jury I sat on there was a woman biatching because the local grocery store wouldn't let her shop there, because she would return 1/2 used cans/jars/packages of food claiming there was something wrong with it. The store had a restraining order, but she kept showing up.

Weren't there any alternates? I was on a jury for a Civil case a couple years ago and we had 3 alternates.

She should definitely be punished, but why are there only 11 jurors left?

...here lemme try.



Honey Boo Boo died for your sins.

MasterThief: NotBabylonian20: i dont know how people get stuck with jury duty. just say Guilty! everyone is GUILTY!! youll never get picked.

Or just tell the judge that you're prejudiced against all races.

/I keed
//Seriously, tell 'em that you believe in jury nullfication and they'll toss you without a second thought.

jury nullification takes place in the grand jury system not trial jury.

freewill:
Instead, we got something called "It's Your Turn".(in the barrel)

Gyrfalcon: Biness: FlyingJ: Tell the judge the defendant has the aura of the wrongly accused, & i shall spend my dying breath convincing the other 11 Pharisees you toss in the starvation bunker with me

don't get fancy. they know its bullshiat.

just be racist. immediate no questions asked dismissal. You drop a "negro" or "colored" or the "n-bomb" and you're outta there so fast they might not validate your parking.

And then never EVER let me hear you, on Fark or any other location, about how the justice system doesn't work, innocent people are sentenced and guilty go free, or any of the myriad complaints people always have about American jurisprudence after the gloat about how they didn't have to do jury duty.

Some Farker in a similar thread said something like "No I don't try to get out of jury duty because if I ever have to have a jury trial, I don't want my jury to be 'people too stupid to get out of jury duty.'"

That said, people might be a lot more willing to serve if the pay were more than $15 per DAY. I know there are provisions for financial hardship, but I have to think that there are many more people who would be put into hardship positions than can actually prove it.

Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury...this...IS...Spartacus!

Outlaw. Spartacus Outlaw. What? He's the defendant. Geez, cut me some slack, jack.

Smelly Pirate Hooker: Last month, I was called for jury selection (Dallas County). We watched the "jury duty is an honor" DVD and then sat around for a couple hours, waiting to be divvied up to various courtrooms. Then the jury services guy came in and said nobody needed jurors that day, so we were free to go. It was about 11:00. We all looked at each other kinda like we'd won a lottery, then got the hell out.

I know, it's a cool story.

That happened to me back in 2004, good times!