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(Outside Online)   Chimps are now capable of crafting tools out of stone, speculating on legitimate rape   (outsideonline.com) divider line 85
    More: Interesting, chimps  
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3902 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Aug 2012 at 3:06 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-22 02:00:10 PM
Yeah, but we had to teach Kanzi how to do it. And I bet they didn't look as good as these:

My first attempts at making stone tools:

i56.tinypic.com

My first "good" projectile point:

i56.tinypic.com
 
2012-08-22 02:03:28 PM
Just now, or could it be that this is the first time that we have witnessed this and they have been doing this for centuries?
 
2012-08-22 02:07:00 PM
Pffft! That's nothing. If you go to the politics threads, there's apparently a bunch who already know how to use a computer...
 
2012-08-22 02:12:31 PM

cman: Just now, or could it be that this is the first time that we have witnessed this and they have been doing this for centuries?


RTF: Someone taught this particular chimp how to make and use primitive stone tools, probably along the lines of the Oldowan industry. It's actually a neat experiment, because Kanzi, the Bonobo they taught, was able to better exploit hidden and inaccessible food because he could make stone tools that would allow him to get at the food, having a 10x greater success rate than his non-tool making peers.
 
2012-08-22 03:07:59 PM
Making tools, hunting deer, watching FOX. Too bad they don't believe in evolution. Who knows how far they'd go?
 
2012-08-22 03:10:19 PM
Being democrat President 2008-2012
 
2012-08-22 03:11:53 PM

Valiente: Making tools, hunting deer, watching FOX. Too bad they don't believe in evolution. Who knows how far they'd go?


Careful. Hunting is actually increasing in popularity after a number of years in decline.

/Was hunting before hunting was cool.
//Went primitive 10 years ago.
 
2012-08-22 03:12:25 PM

UberDave: Pffft! That's nothing. If you go to the politics threads, there's apparently a bunch who already know how to use a computer...


swangoatman: Being democrat President 2008-2012


See there's one now!
 
2012-08-22 03:12:45 PM

dittybopper: cman: Just now, or could it be that this is the first time that we have witnessed this and they have been doing this for centuries?

RTF: Someone taught this particular chimp how to make and use primitive stone tools, probably along the lines of the Oldowan industry. It's actually a neat experiment, because Kanzi, the Bonobo they taught, was able to better exploit hidden and inaccessible food because he could make stone tools that would allow him to get at the food, having a 10x greater success rate than his non-tool making peers.


So what needs to happen now is releasing Kanzi into the wild and making sure he has 10x more offspring than his peers, and making sure he teaches his children how to make tools also.

In a few generations, the tool use will spur accelerated brain development, and our ancestors will get to watch a new primate species evolve in real time.
 
2012-08-22 03:14:20 PM

swangoatman: Being democrat President 2008 - 2012 2016

FTFY...

 
2012-08-22 03:14:59 PM

Jubeebee: In a few generations, the tool use will spur accelerated brain development, and our ancestors will get to watch a new primate species evolve in real time.


The Bonobos will develop time travel?
 
2012-08-22 03:15:01 PM

swangoatman: Being democrat President 2008-2012- 2016


"President" Ballrog, HUSSEIN, Sombrero, Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers, al-Chicago, Chocolate Jesus, B-Rock the Islamic Shock, Barky McTeleprompter, Wizard of Uhhs, BoBo the Clown, Oblahbla, Jug Ears, Saunas breach akimbo, Waffles The Clown, Borborygmos Hammerhiem, The Rainbow King, Bukkake O'Bunga, OBIGOT, El Jefe Chocholate, "Jace the Mindsculpter", Hopey McChangeypants, Oyobi, Bonzo the Time Traveler, La Bamba yo' Mamma, Samurai Kebab Nachos, Fartbongo, II"

www.sockpoliticians.com


Presidential Canduhdate Mitt "The Shiat" Romney, Romneyhood, Ritz Cracka, Willard the Republitard, El Jefe Acartonado, Mitt-Hit-The-Fan, Milli Vanilli Romni, Papaya Vagina, Romman & Roybin, R-Money, Bain in the Ass, Weather Vane, Nacho Romney, Fancy Cheesebag, Mighty Mormon Power Ranger, Romneygeddon, Oven Mitt, Mitt-Or-Get-Off-The-Pot, MITTLER!, Retch-A-Sketch, Counterfeit Bits,


im41.com
 
2012-08-22 03:15:08 PM
That's 'cause it's alright, the private sector is DOING FINE!
 
2012-08-22 03:16:31 PM

Hugemeister: swangoatman: Being democrat President 2008 - 2012 2016

FTFY...

P.S. You can thank me later. Now you can go back to looking for the 'birth certificate'...

 
2012-08-22 03:16:44 PM

Jubeebee: dittybopper: cman: Just now, or could it be that this is the first time that we have witnessed this and they have been doing this for centuries?

RTF: Someone taught this particular chimp how to make and use primitive stone tools, probably along the lines of the Oldowan industry. It's actually a neat experiment, because Kanzi, the Bonobo they taught, was able to better exploit hidden and inaccessible food because he could make stone tools that would allow him to get at the food, having a 10x greater success rate than his non-tool making peers.

So what needs to happen now is releasing Kanzi into the wild and making sure he has 10x more offspring than his peers, and making sure he teaches his children how to make tools also.

In a few generations, the tool use will spur accelerated brain development, and our ancestors will get to watch a new primate species evolve in real time.


We're going to invent time travel and use it to transport our ancestors into the future to show them evolution in practice?
 
2012-08-22 03:16:53 PM

dittybopper: Valiente: Making tools, hunting deer, watching FOX. Too bad they don't believe in evolution. Who knows how far they'd go?

Careful. Hunting is actually increasing in popularity after a number of years in decline.

/Was hunting before hunting was cool.
//Went primitive 10 years ago.


You missed the joke where watching fox followed hunting deer, of which I actually approve when said deer are eaten and their skins are turned into nice coats and mocs.
 
2012-08-22 03:17:25 PM
dittybopper:
/Was hunting before hunting was cool.
//Went primitive 10 years ago.


You hunt hipsters?
 
2012-08-22 03:17:52 PM
Where this will all end up

i.imgur.com
 
2012-08-22 03:18:36 PM
Apparently they still aren't capable of making an accurate fark headline though.
 
2012-08-22 03:18:37 PM

dittybopper: Jubeebee: In a few generations, the tool use will spur accelerated brain development, and our ancestors will get to watch a new primate species evolve in real time.

The Bonobos will develop time travel?


Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.
 
2012-08-22 03:18:44 PM

Hugemeister: swangoatman: Being democrat President 2008 - 2012 2016FTFY...


First chimp was 1969 to 1974, the beginning of the end and what would become SOP.
 
2012-08-22 03:19:22 PM
"My God, it's full of Tea Party Members!"
 
2012-08-22 03:22:28 PM
Damn dirty apes.
 
2012-08-22 03:23:31 PM

Vlad_the_Inaner: Where this will all end up

[i.imgur.com image 700x500]

 

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-08-22 03:24:10 PM

dittybopper: Jubeebee: In a few generations, the tool use will spur accelerated brain development, and our ancestors descendants will get to watch a new primate species evolve in real time.

The Bonobos will develop time travel?


Damnit!
 
2012-08-22 03:24:46 PM
randomletterstotheworld.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-08-22 03:25:51 PM
New Caledonian Crows remain unimpressed.
 
2012-08-22 03:26:24 PM
whoops, wrong thread.
 
2012-08-22 03:27:12 PM
Rape Ape is considered a racist term, subby. I'm surprised this got past the mods.
 
2012-08-22 03:27:18 PM
I won't believe in evolution until they start chiving and axing each other. Then we'll know for sure.
 
2012-08-22 03:28:29 PM
I wanted to get into the athletic shoe industry in the late 1980s, so I built a factory in Zaire. To beat out Nike and Reebok, I had to find the absolute cheapest labor which led me to a chimpanzee farm in neighboring Uganda. The proprietor had born and raised hundreds of chimps whose groupings were trained to perform simple, repetitive tasks. They were perfect for factory work, so I purchased a few hundred and set them to work in fourteen hour shifts. Everything was going splendidly until the end of the second week.

I'm not a slave master, mind you. I paid the chimps a fair banana wage in comparison to the abject poverty of the surrounding areas. Friday was payday and in celebration of our first shipment of production, I gave them the weekend off to enjoy their bananas. Well, when Monday rolled around, my voicemail was teeming with messages all to the tune of, "Bongo not feel well today. Need to stay home. Be in tomorrow."

As you might guess, tomorrow came and went. Of the 500 chimps on my initial rosters, only 9 showed up. And those nine were there to inquiry about a payday advance on more bananas. When I refused, the chimpanzees went ape shiat and destroyed much of the factory's structure and all of the shoe manufacturing machinery.

So, despite these apes learning to craft stone tools, I do not think we can invest much. As I saw myself, they prove lazy and shiftless after the initial inch is given by their proprietor.
 
2012-08-22 03:29:02 PM
Grapple

dittybopper:
/Was hunting before hunting was cool.
//Went primitive 10 years ago.

You hunt hipsters?


it's the most dangerous game you've never heard of
 
2012-08-22 03:30:40 PM
Chimp 1 makes a stone axe...
Chimp 2 makes a stone axe...
Chimp 1 sues Chimp 2 for patent infringement...
 
2012-08-22 03:31:03 PM
He never writes... He never calls....
 
2012-08-22 03:35:27 PM
Well I'd votte for a chimp before I'd vote for a republican. They should run.
 
2012-08-22 03:36:28 PM

lordaction: Rape Ape is considered a racist term, subby. I'm surprised this got past the mods.


Have you been living under a rock the past week? The headline is offensive, but only to a certain tone deaf Senatorial candidate in Missouri.
 
2012-08-22 03:37:54 PM

Jubeebee: dittybopper: cman: Just now, or could it be that this is the first time that we have witnessed this and they have been doing this for centuries?

RTF: Someone taught this particular chimp how to make and use primitive stone tools, probably along the lines of the Oldowan industry. It's actually a neat experiment, because Kanzi, the Bonobo they taught, was able to better exploit hidden and inaccessible food because he could make stone tools that would allow him to get at the food, having a 10x greater success rate than his non-tool making peers.

So what needs to happen now is releasing Kanzi into the wild and making sure he has 10x more offspring than his peers, and making sure he teaches his children how to make tools also.

In a few generations, the tool use will spur accelerated brain development, and our ancestors will get to watch a new primate species evolve in real time.


I watched a nature documentary some years back where I watched what could have actually been accidental "Uplift in action". There were a group of researchers studying a troop of chimps and there was one chimp who seemed smarter and friendlier than the rest, but he was also clearly the "omega male" of the troop, noticably smaller and weaker than the others and as a result constantly being bullied and attacked by higher status chimps. This of course led him to spend even more time around the researcher's camp, playing with thier shiat, examining it, etc.

This led the chimp to discover how farking LOUD a pair of empty metal jerrycans are when banged together.

Now when chimps fight for dominance, it is almost always decided by "threat display" and rarely comes to actual blows. This basically means that the chimp that can scream louder and make more noise pounding his chest wins.

So, as soon as Omega made his discovery of how to use his impromtu "cymbals" he grabbed the cans and ran straight back to his home tree and called the Alpha male of the troop out for a duel. Big as the alpha was, he was no match for Omega's artifact-enhanced threat dispaly and he quickly scampered off leaving Omega as the new leader of his band.

Makes me wonder how long it will be before the influence of Omega's genes starts really affecting the intelligence of local chimp tribes
 
2012-08-22 03:38:32 PM

spentmiles: Friday was payday and in celebration of our first shipment of production, I gave them the weekend off to enjoy their bananas. Well, when Monday rolled around, my voicemail was teeming with messages all to the tune of, "Bongo not feel well today. Need to stay home. Be in tomorrow."


GOt-Farking DAMN it spentmiles..I rarely miss one of your missives but sometimes a little nugget just BUSTS me out LAUGHING SHOWING TEEFS ANS ALL DAT!!!

I have no idea why this was so farking funny except visualizing...

i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
farm3.static.flickr.com
 
2012-08-22 03:38:57 PM
Bonobo also happens to be the famously sex crazed primate that has the distinction of being the only other animal that is known to masturbate.

So yeah, they're pretty much humans.
 
2012-08-22 03:39:16 PM

dittybopper: Yeah, but we had to teach Kanzi how to do it. And I bet they didn't look as good as these:

My first attempts at making stone tools:

[i56.tinypic.com image 640x480]

My first "good" projectile point:

[i56.tinypic.com image 640x480]


The thing is though - monkeys can pass knowledge on to other members of the group and to younger generations. We already know that. This is just acceleration.
 
2012-08-22 03:39:36 PM
Those are the blurst stone tools I have ever seen.
 
2012-08-22 03:41:41 PM

swangoatman: Being democrat President 2008-2012


0/10 - too obvious . try again
 
2012-08-22 03:41:50 PM

dittybopper: Yeah, but we had to teach Kanzi how to do it. And I bet they didn't look as good as these:

My first attempts at making stone tools:

[i56.tinypic.com image 640x480]

My first "good" projectile point:

[i56.tinypic.com image 640x480]

Nice! I work with marble and granite, and occasionally make myself a little something. May have to take some pics...

spentmiles: I wanted to get into the athletic shoe industry in the late 1980s, so I built a factory in Zaire. To beat out Nike and Reebok, I had to find the absolute cheapest labor which led me to a chimpanzee farm in neighboring Uganda. The proprietor had born and raised hundreds of chimps whose groupings were trained to perform simple, repetitive tasks. They were perfect for factory work, so I purchased a few hundred and set them to work in fourteen hour shifts. Everything was going splendidly until the end of the second week.

I'm not a slave master, mind you. I paid the chimps a fair banana wage in comparison to the abject poverty of the surrounding areas. Friday was payday and in celebration of our first shipment of production, I gave them the weekend off to enjoy their bananas. Well, when Monday rolled around, my voicemail was teeming with messages all to the tune of, "Bongo not feel well today. Need to stay home. Be in tomorrow."

As you might guess, tomorrow came and went. Of the 500 chimps on my initial rosters, only 9 showed up. And those nine were there to inquiry about a payday advance on more bananas. When I refused, the chimpanzees went ape shiat and destroyed much of the factory's structure and all of the shoe manufacturing machinery.

So, despite these apes learning to craft stone tools, I do not think we can invest much. As I saw myself, they prove lazy and shiftless after the initial inch is given by their proprietor.


I like you.
 
2012-08-22 03:42:06 PM
FTFA: "The chimp had been taught to create primitive tools through flintknapping in the 1990s"

So this is news how? Show me a bonobo in the wild doing this and I'll get excited. Filler doesn't excite me.
 
2012-08-22 03:42:21 PM

Valiente: dittybopper: Valiente: Making tools, hunting deer, watching FOX. Too bad they don't believe in evolution. Who knows how far they'd go?

Careful. Hunting is actually increasing in popularity after a number of years in decline.

/Was hunting before hunting was cool.
//Went primitive 10 years ago.

You missed the joke where watching fox followed hunting deer, of which I actually approve when said deer are eaten and their skins are turned into nice coats and mocs.


Actually, I don't care if the only result is a trophy hanging on a wall. In fact, pure trophy hunters are *GOOD* from a conservation standpoint.

To understand why, we have to understand that not all hunting is equal. There are three main kinds of hunting:

1. Subsistence Hunting
2. Market Hunting
3. Sport Hunting.

Subsistence hunting is hunting purely for food and other resources like skins for clothing and shelter. Subsistence hunting has resulted in the extinction and near extinction of countless species. There is some evidence that man hunted to extinction many of the megafauna from the Pleistocene era, and we know that in the more recent past man has hunted animals to extinction for food. Even today, the problem of "bush meat" hunting in Africa, which results in the killing of all manner of primates, shows the problem of subsistence hunting from an ecological standpoint.

Likewise, market hunting has also led to extinctions and near extinctions: The passenger pigeon is a perfect example of that, and so are bison: Both were hunted commercially in great numbers for both meat and in the case of bison, skins for leather.

Both market and subsistence hunting were responsible for the crash in deer populations during the 1800's. In Appalachia it became so bad that there wasn't any significant big game left by the mid-1800's, it had all been hunted out, and the guns produced there reflected that: They were small caliber rifles suitable for small game.

Sport hunting, on the other hand, is what saved North American big game. Killing animals to save them *SOUNDS* paradoxical, until you look at the motivations of a sport hunter in contrast to the motivations of a subsistence or market hunter: A subsistence hunter wants to feed himself and his family. A market hunter is only concerned with making a profit. A sport hunter, on the other hand, is hunting because he enjoys it, and he'll want to keep on hunting. He might even set up ideal habitat for that game animal or preserve habitat that's already there*. He'll limit what he takes in order to continue the species. A pure trophy hunter will pass up a juvenile or young animal for a more robust and attractive trophy.

Those factors actually lead to an increase in the game animals hunted, not a decrease. It's led to an increase in the populations of deer, wild turkeys, moose, and black bears over the last 100 years. Areas that used to have no deer or bear 100 years ago are now over-run with them. All because people weren't hunting them for money or food, but for fun.

*A major side benefit of that is that other non-game animals share that habitat.
 
2012-08-22 03:43:06 PM

RolandGunner: Bonobo also happens to be the famously sex crazed primate that has the distinction of being the only other animal that is known to masturbate.


You mean aside from dolphins, orangutans, elk, walruses, bears, boars, cats, bats, dogs, hogs, elephants, antelopes, pheasants, ferrets, giraffes, gazeles, stats, goats, shoats, ostriches, penguins, people, warthogs, yaks, wildebeests..... and especially rabbits!

Link
 
2012-08-22 03:44:16 PM

Grapple: dittybopper:
/Was hunting before hunting was cool.
//Went primitive 10 years ago.

You hunt hipsters?


No. I'm what passes for a hipster hunter. I use a flintlock long rifle, and a wooden bow. This year, I'm going to have at least 1 arrow in my quiver that's tipped with a flint arrowhead.
 
2012-08-22 03:49:28 PM

ChipNASA: Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers


+1, would LOL again
 
2012-08-22 03:51:30 PM

HailRobonia: RolandGunner: Bonobo also happens to be the famously sex crazed primate that has the distinction of being the only other animal that is known to masturbate.

You mean aside from dolphins, orangutans, elk, walruses, bears, boars, cats, bats, dogs, hogs, elephants, antelopes, pheasants, ferrets, giraffes, gazeles, stats, goats, shoats, ostriches, penguins, people, warthogs, yaks, wildebeests....

inourelements.com

Skip a bit, Brother.
 
2012-08-22 03:51:43 PM

RolandGunner: Bonobo also happens to be the famously sex crazed primate that has the distinction of being the only other animal that is known to masturbate.

So yeah, they're pretty much humans.


Well except dolphins...which is even more impressive since they's seem to lack some vital equipment to do that... 

Still this is what I find fascinating: Chimp and Bonobos are biologically identical but behaviorially they could not be more different: Chimps are violent, territorial, hirearchical and the only species other than man known to engage in organzed warfare against its own species. Bonobos are peaceful, collborative, and tend to take a "hug it out biatches" approach to conflict resolution and generally live in pursuit of happiness and pleasure.

Looking at our species I can't decide which of our relatives we favor more
 
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