If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The New Republic)   The intellectual father of Todd Akin's rape theory is a religious Republican doctor who thinks that, after a rape, you can't get pregnant because "the tubes are spastic." Here are some of his other medically dubious theories   (tnr.com) divider line 120
    More: Dumbass, Todd Akin, Republican, National Right to Life, chemical structure, Infraction  
•       •       •

2498 clicks; posted to Politics » on 22 Aug 2012 at 2:36 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



120 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-08-22 11:29:55 AM
These people are living in an alternate universe...
 
2012-08-22 11:34:58 AM
"the tubes are spastic"

Is that why my internet reception changes sometimes?
 
2012-08-22 11:37:22 AM
I think that doctor's brain was spastic. Akin's more so for uttering such drivel.
 
2012-08-22 11:43:44 AM
Women's privates aren't a truck. They're a series of tubes.
 
2012-08-22 11:45:04 AM
Akin should leave just for general stupidity.
 
2012-08-22 11:59:57 AM
 
2012-08-22 12:00:19 PM
Know what they call the guy who graduates dead last in his med school class?

/doctor
 
2012-08-22 12:04:08 PM
Liars for Jesus.
 
2012-08-22 12:07:57 PM
As for the "tubes are spastic," what does that even mean? If this only happens during rape, how was this measured? Even then it wouldn't matter, because the sperm wouldn't have reached the tubes anyway, and how sperm would even be deterred by spasms is another mystery.

For it to matter with conception, the tubes would have to spasm for days. Why hasn't this ever been observed? And since it's never been observed, why does he think he can just flatly state it happens?
 
2012-08-22 12:08:00 PM
img195.imageshack.us
 
2012-08-22 12:09:56 PM

sigdiamond2000: [img195.imageshack.us image 551x383]


Brilliant.
 
2012-08-22 12:10:06 PM
Todd Akin's Rape Theory would be a pretty good band name.
 
2012-08-22 12:18:26 PM
Swedes can't swallow pills because their stomachs are little hungry gremlins who live inside them.


Seriously. Go give a decent meal to a swede and tell me you don't hear 'mmm' twice. I dare you.
 
2012-08-22 12:22:52 PM

make me some tea: These people are living in an alternate universe...


...but they're legislating in this one.
 
2012-08-22 12:26:15 PM

impaler: As for the "tubes are spastic," what does that even mean? If this only happens during rape, how was this measured? Even then it wouldn't matter, because the sperm wouldn't have reached the tubes anyway, and how sperm would even be deterred by spasms is another mystery.

For it to matter with conception, the tubes would have to spasm for days. Why hasn't this ever been observed? And since it's never been observed, why does he think he can just flatly state it happens?


See, your first problem is that you're thinking.
 
2012-08-22 12:28:08 PM
My bone has been known to cause spastic tubes.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-08-22 12:28:29 PM

make me some tea: These people are living in an alternate universe...


Maybe not. If there are 248,000 reported rapes per year then there must be quite a few rapists out there.

I have found that peoples beliefs sometimes have more to do with their emotional needs than and objective reason, so maybe these.

I suppose that if I were one of those rapists that I would really want to believe this sort of thing.
 
2012-08-22 12:31:37 PM
Can the tubes learn not to be spastic? Maybe playing them rock and roll will get them to contract regularly.

Whatever you do, don't play breakbeat hardcore; they're likely to tie in knots.
 
2012-08-22 12:32:33 PM
static01.mediaite.com
 
2012-08-22 12:38:26 PM
The chair is against the door.
John has a long mustache.
The tubes are spastic.
 
2012-08-22 12:38:52 PM
Oh, sure. You lib anti-lifers take every opportunity to stand up and shout down opposing opinions about abortion. Dr. Wilkes is a patriot who makes me proud to be an American. Besides, all a girl has to do to avoid being legitimately raped is loudly tell the man "Don't touch me there!" Besides, it's generally the case that if a woman simply dresses modestly (especially if she's a beauty) it won't incite men to behave like animals. Eventually, people will come to realize that the conservative way is the best way, but we God-fearing folk don't want to wait anymore, and we're taking back the country this November, piece by piece if necessary, starting by throwing your golden boy out of the White House. I don't know about anyone else, but I'll be eagerly watching the TV on the first Tuesday in November, because the prime time show will be the Goodbye Barry Soetero Show. Last election was almost the death of this country, but we're in need of a values-based revolution, and we're gonna get it next time.
 
2012-08-22 12:39:49 PM
OK, Farkers, mission accepted.
What state is this charlitan licensed in?
Charges need to be brought and get this puke on the stand.
I'll bet he has a whole pile of dogma that needs outing.
 
2012-08-22 12:42:15 PM

cameroncrazy1984: Todd Akin's Rape Theory would be a pretty good band name.


Right there with The Ryan Budget.
Tie!
 
2012-08-22 12:44:09 PM
Sorry but we also believed that you could cure diseases by draining humors. It was in medical books too. We'd still mock him if he said he needed to drain his yellow bile.

Dude you failed. Now do what Romney says and GTFO.
 
2012-08-22 12:45:46 PM

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: impaler: As for the "tubes are spastic," what does that even mean? If this only happens during rape, how was this measured? Even then it wouldn't matter, because the sperm wouldn't have reached the tubes anyway, and how sperm would even be deterred by spasms is another mystery.

For it to matter with conception, the tubes would have to spasm for days. Why hasn't this ever been observed? And since it's never been observed, why does he think he can just flatly state it happens?

See, your first problem is that you're thinking.


But, how would the Fallopian tubes be spastic in the first place? It was my understanding that they do not really have muscle mass, and that the movement of the egg from the ovaries to the womb was a matter if liquid movement. Which is why you can sometimes have an abdominal ectopic pregnancy where the egg landed outside the uterus rather then going down the tube like it was supposed to.

How can a dimwit such as myself with a medical education based off of a high school health class and Wikipedia know more about this then a doctor?
 
2012-08-22 12:47:22 PM

James!: [static01.mediaite.com image 320x200]


So Romney's changed his position again?
 
2012-08-22 12:51:14 PM

Noctusxx: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: impaler: As for the "tubes are spastic," what does that even mean? If this only happens during rape, how was this measured? Even then it wouldn't matter, because the sperm wouldn't have reached the tubes anyway, and how sperm would even be deterred by spasms is another mystery.

For it to matter with conception, the tubes would have to spasm for days. Why hasn't this ever been observed? And since it's never been observed, why does he think he can just flatly state it happens?

See, your first problem is that you're thinking.

But, how would the Fallopian tubes be spastic in the first place? It was my understanding that they do not really have muscle mass, and that the movement of the egg from the ovaries to the womb was a matter if liquid movement. Which is why you can sometimes have an abdominal ectopic pregnancy where the egg landed outside the uterus rather then going down the tube like it was supposed to.

How can a dimwit such as myself with a medical education based off of a high school health class and Wikipedia know more about this then a doctor?


Because of that open mind thingie.
 
2012-08-22 12:53:40 PM

Mentat: James!: [static01.mediaite.com image 320x200]

So Romney's changed his position again?



He was for spastic tubes before he was against them.
 
2012-08-22 12:58:56 PM
There is just as much Medical Science in this cockup as there is in letting a POUS declare a plant as a Schedule 1 drug.
 
2012-08-22 01:07:02 PM
Well, there is a certain possibility...

coolalbumreview.com
 
2012-08-22 01:08:36 PM

snocone: There is just as much Medical Science in this cockup as there is in letting a POUS declare a plant as a Schedule 1 drug.


POUS? I don't believe they exist.
 
2012-08-22 01:24:54 PM

God Is My Co-Pirate: snocone: There is just as much Medical Science in this cockup as there is in letting a POUS declare a plant as a Schedule 1 drug.

POUS? I don't believe they exist.


i.imgur.com
 
2012-08-22 01:27:50 PM

CheetahOlivetti: The chair is against the door.
John has a long mustache.
The tubes are spastic.


The elephants are eating strawberries.
 
2012-08-22 01:36:37 PM
This is the policy of the Republican Party of Texas. I'll let it speak for itself:

Knowledge-Based Education - We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student's fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority.
 
2012-08-22 01:39:14 PM
I wonder what Ted Stevens thinks of this theory...
 
2012-08-22 01:55:02 PM

dittybopper: CheetahOlivetti: The chair is against the door.
John has a long mustache.
The tubes are spastic.

The elephants are eating strawberries.


Suddenly, a shot rang out!
 
2012-08-22 02:12:27 PM
I still hold by the statement that we should test these people's "theories" by raping them. We need a rigorous study.
 
2012-08-22 02:38:31 PM
No story here. Overzealous Penis.
 
2012-08-22 02:39:15 PM
Black women have an extra bone in their uterus that allows them to give birth faster.
 
2012-08-22 02:39:33 PM
So many wack rapes You get the T.V. bozack
Ain't even gonna call out your names 'Cause you're so wack
But women whose tubes are faker than plastic
A dictionary definition of the word spastic
 
2012-08-22 02:40:24 PM

GAT_00: I still hold by the statement that we should test these people's "theories" by raping them. We need a rigorous study.


You don't stick your wang in crazy dude.....it might rub off on you.
 
2012-08-22 02:40:39 PM
If you stand in front of a mirror at midnight on Halloween and say the say the words "black baby" 3 times, you get pregnant with a black baby.
 
2012-08-22 02:42:48 PM

Prepare your booze.

i38.photobucket.com


Standard Rules

Full Row = Drink
Any 5 boxes covered in a single post = Drink
All boxes covered = 2 Drinks

Heaven or Hell

All Boxes covered in a single post = 5 Drinks in 5 minutes


/Accepting suggestions for alternative rules.
 
2012-08-22 02:43:43 PM

MisterTweak: This is the policy of the Republican Party of Texas. I'll let it speak for itself:

Knowledge-Based Education - We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student's fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority.


Ronald Reagan was more succinct: "Facts are stupid things."
 
2012-08-22 02:44:04 PM
www.newyorkpersonalinjuryattorneyblog.com
"The uterus is just a series of tubes, and during a legitimate rape they get spastic"
 
2012-08-22 02:44:37 PM
Rape!
R-a-a-a-pe!
Raa-aa-aa-pe!

A pretty rape!
A literary rape!

We've the obvious open schoolboy rape,
With little mandolins and perhaps a cape.
The rape by coach; it's little in request.
The rape by day, but the rape by night is best.

Just try to see it.
And you will soon agree, señors,
Why
Invite regret,
When you can get the sort of rape
You'll never ever forget.

You can get the rape emphatic.
You can get the rape polite.
You can get the rape with Indians:
A very charming sight.
You can get the rape on horseback;
They'll all say it's new and gay.
So you see the sort of rape
Depends on what you pay.
It depends on what you
Pay.

The kids will love it.
It depends on what you pay!
So why be stingy?
It depends on what you --

The spectacular rape,
With costumes ordered from the East.
Requires rehearsal
And takes a dozen men at least.
A couple of singers,
And a string quartet.
A major production.
Requires a set.

Sounds expensive!

Just try to see it.
And you will soon si,si señors,
Why
Invite regret,
When you can get the sort of rape
You'll never ever forget.

You can get the rape emphatic.
You can get the rape polite.
You can get the rape with Indians:
A very charming sight.
You can get the rape on horseback;
They'll all say it's new and gay.
So you see the sort of rape
Depends on what you pay.
It depends on what you
Pay.

So why be stingy?
It depends on what you pay!
The kids will love it.
It depends on what you --

The comic rape.
Perhaps it's just a trifle too unique.
Romantic rape:
Done while canoeing on a moonlit creek.
The gothic rape!
I play "Valkyrie" on a bass bassoon!
The drunken rape.
It's done completely in a cheap saloon.

The rape Venetian
Needs a blue lagoon.
The rape with moonlight
Or without a moon.
Moonlight is expensive but it's in demand.
The military rape:
It's done with drummer and a band.

You understand?
I understand.
It's very grand.
It's very grand.
It's done with drums and a great big brass band!
Yeah!

Just try to see it.
I see it!
I see it!
And you will soon si,si señors,
Why
Invite regret,
When you can get the sort of rape
You'll never ever forget.

You can get the rape emphatic.
You can get the rape polite.
You can get the rape with Indians:
A very charming sight.
You can get the rape on horseback;
They'll all say it's new and gay.
So you see the sort of rape
Depends on what you pay.
So you see the sort of rape
Depends on what you pay.
So you see the sort of rape
Depends on what you pay.
So you see the sort of rape
Depends on what you pay.
Depends on what you pay.
Depends on what you pay.
Depends on what you pay.
Depends on what you pay.


So why be stingy?
It depends on what you pay!
The kids will love it.
It depends on what you
 
2012-08-22 02:49:22 PM

James!: [static01.mediaite.com image 320x200]


I looked. that's real. I hope obama packages this attack well.
 
2012-08-22 02:49:45 PM

impaler: As for the "tubes are spastic," what does that even mean? If this only happens during rape, how was this measured? Even then it wouldn't matter, because the sperm wouldn't have reached the tubes anyway, and how sperm would even be deterred by spasms is another mystery.

For it to matter with conception, the tubes would have to spasm for days. Why hasn't this ever been observed? And since it's never been observed, why does he think he can just flatly state it happens?


So, you're actually trying to figure out conservative logic? Good luck with that.
 
2012-08-22 02:50:10 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Know what they call the guy who graduates dead last in his med school class?

/doctor


"general practitioner who was president of the National Right to Life Committee for about a decade"
 
2012-08-22 02:50:22 PM
So need a spastic tubes tee shirt
 
Displayed 50 of 120 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report