FARK.com: (7280664) New natural antidepressant for women discovered

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		New natural antidepressant for women discovered (dailymail.co.uk)		150
		More: Cool, Archives of Sexual Behavior, City University of New York, unprotected sex, serotonin, semen, sexes, oral sex

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27903 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Aug 2012 at 11:09 PM | Favorite | share:

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brap		2012-08-21 08:41:36 PM

Ms. Beakman, your test results are in. The bad news is that you have syphillis but the good news is that you felt really good until you got this news thanks to the healing soothing properties of the spunk your body so happily sucked in before realizing that it was a Trojan Horse that would eventually lead to disfiguration, death, Nietzchean rants, and assorted whatnots that I'd rather not go into as to not drag down your undboubtably stellar "seminal fluid high."

MaudlinMutantMollusk		2012-08-21 08:52:02 PM

Well this should give The Mail a credibility boost

aimtastic		2012-08-21 08:55:18 PM

I'd be more inclined to believe that sexual imprudence is simply a characteristic of being a carefree, happy-go-lucky lass, rather than giving the credit for her sprightly nature to all the jizz she chugs.

nvmac		2012-08-21 09:02:37 PM

There have been stories like this circulated previously. My wife laughs every time!

/sigh

fusillade762		2012-08-21 09:42:08 PM

I find this information hard to swallow.

cman		2012-08-21 10:06:37 PM

Old news is exciting!

sno man		2012-08-21 10:07:53 PM

Just a couple of weeks ago we found out it's good for morning sickness too...

I wonder what else women won't want to be cured of, 2 weeks from now..

brap		2012-08-21 10:09:19 PM

cman: Old news is exciting!

Did you just have a semen fart? Enjoy the rush of endorphines dude.

NFA		2012-08-21 10:12:46 PM

brap: Ms. Beakman, your test results are in. The bad news is that you have syphillis but the good news is that you felt really good until you got this news thanks to the healing soothing properties of the spunk your body so happily sucked in before realizing that it was a Trojan Horse that would eventually lead to disfiguration, death, Nietzchean rants, and assorted whatnots that I'd rather not go into as to not drag down your undboubtably stellar "seminal fluid high

Yes, sex between consenting adults always ends in horrible disfiguration and death.

God-is-a-Taco		2012-08-21 10:18:05 PM

My father told me the exact opposite over 40 years ago...i know who i trust. Utter garbage.

- cozmikstroll, RIP-UK, 21/8/2012 14:41

miss diminutive		2012-08-21 10:19:51 PM

Is that why it tastes like liquefied prozac?

I mean....uh, what?

nvmac		2012-08-21 10:29:03 PM

<b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7280664/78864209#c78864209" target="_blank">miss diminutive</a>:</b> <i>Is that why it tastes like liquefied prozac?

I mean....uh, what?</i>

How YOU doin?

/giggity

MayoSlather		2012-08-21 10:54:51 PM

And to think I could have been curing countless women of depression this whole time instead of wasting all these tissues.

miss diminutive		2012-08-21 10:57:27 PM

MayoSlather: And to think I could have been curing countless women of depression this whole time instead of ~~wasting~~ spreading joy to all these tissues.

ftfy

Nothing To See Here		2012-08-21 11:13:20 PM

USN USN USN

Shaunn		2012-08-21 11:15:12 PM

This kind of study comes out every year...

... and I am thankful for it.

Thanks for the Meme-ries		2012-08-21 11:15:37 PM

whatshisname		2012-08-21 11:18:38 PM

After the claim in the byline, the study actually says NOTHING about oral sex.

Varkoth		2012-08-21 11:18:48 PM

There's a new pill out for depressed lesbians. It's called Trydickagain.

namegoeshere		2012-08-21 11:18:55 PM

Mr. Namegoeshere submitted this, didn't he...

JasonOfOrillia		2012-08-21 11:19:01 PM

Oral sex is good for women's health and makes you feel happier, according to a study which studied the effects of semen's 'mood-altering chemicals'.

These researchers are the best people of humanity.

NOBEL PRIZES for EVERYEONE.

way south		2012-08-21 11:19:25 PM

Approves of this headline and would like to share her news letter.

/Obscure, Kinky, vague and possibly illegal in most states...

Harry_Seldon		2012-08-21 11:19:51 PM

I hear legitimate rape is a natural anti-depressant.

//too soon?

MeanJean		2012-08-21 11:20:37 PM

I can't help wonder if there is some connection between the fact that I have medication-resistant depression and bukkake fantasies....well just a general cum fetish.

/I'm pretty sure it won't help depression to have it all over my body
//though it would definetely take my mind off my problems...

studebaker hoch		2012-08-21 11:22:02 PM

OK, now we have "legitimate rape" added to our lexicon by some total idiot.

/Because "wide stance" is so yesterday.

namegoeshere		2012-08-21 11:22:38 PM

Harry_Seldon: I hear legitimate rape is a natural anti-depressant.

//too soon?

Well, there is the relief of knowing that you could not possibly get pregnant...

Gramma		2012-08-21 11:23:32 PM

From the teal blue box of text:
Other recent findings from Gallup's laboratory suggest that semen-exposed women perform better on concentration and cognitive tasks and that women's bodies can detect 'foreign' semen that differs from their long-term or recurrent sexual partner's signature semen.

They suggest the ability to detect foreign sources is an an evolved system that often leads to unsuccessful pregnancies - via greater risk of preeclampsia - because it signals a disinvested male partner who is not as likely to provide for the offspring.

Hmmm... kinda like shutting that whole thing down ...

/ignore me, I'm trying my hand at trolling

Omnivorous		2012-08-21 11:23:47 PM

So what's the conclusion if you're dating a chick with depression?

/Don't stick your dick in crazy?

frostus		2012-08-21 11:24:00 PM

NFA: Yes, sex between consenting adults always ends in horrible disfiguration and death.

Dude, you should have picked better names. They're going to get picked on in the lunch room!

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom		2012-08-21 11:26:58 PM

So... This wouldn't work for men why??

JesusIsNowBlind		2012-08-21 11:27:05 PM

MeanJean: I can't help wonder if there is some connection between the fact that I have medication-resistant depression and bukkake fantasies....well just a general cum fetish.

/I'm pretty sure it won't help depression to have it all over my body
//though it would definetely take my mind off my problems...

oh hai

/how you doin'?

burninbeaver		2012-08-21 11:27:11 PM

gaslight		2012-08-21 11:27:18 PM

Didn't some editor of a medical journal or two get forced to resign a few years ago for suggesting the same thing? The furor was that women don't need men to be happy.

Anyone remember the details? I am too lazy to Google.

The One True TheDavid		2012-08-21 11:27:54 PM

MeanJean:

I can't help wonder if there is some connection between the fact that I have medication-resistant depression and bukkake fantasies....well just a general cum fetish.

Location: Connecticut, United States

Lexington, KY has its very own airport.

Atypical Person Reading Fark		2012-08-21 11:28:14 PM

The Daily Mail puts this story in twice a year now. 10 years ago, it was only once a year.

But I guess it's still news to some people.

SirDigbyChickenCaesar		2012-08-21 11:28:15 PM

New, improved Joker products with a new secret ingredient: Bukkake

jdemartino		2012-08-21 11:28:38 PM

OK, the nominations for the Nobel Prize in medicine are now officially closed.

theorellior		2012-08-21 11:28:45 PM

"Signature" semen"? Sounds like the house recipe at a famous restaurant. "Hey, ladies, feeling blue? Try some of theorellior's signature semen! It'll cure what ails you!"

miss diminutive		2012-08-21 11:29:11 PM

They suggest the ability to detect foreign sources is an an evolved system that often leads to unsuccessful pregnancies - via greater risk of preeclampsia - because it signals a disinvested male partner who is not as likely to provide for the offspring.

mymodo.ru

Looks like your uterus needs a pre-emptive dose of the clamps!

Atypical Person Reading Fark		2012-08-21 11:29:34 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: So... This wouldn't work for men why??

Men have lots and lots more T-receptors than women, ergo it would take 1000X more to get the same effect. You can try, I suppose. But for women, a little T goes a long way (it's an energizing chemical, makes people active and more purposeful).

tinfoil-hat maggie		2012-08-21 11:29:47 PM

Somehow I don't think this is a very scientific study. Exercising reduces depression and with no seaman involved :/

Void_Beavis		2012-08-21 11:30:21 PM

Varkoth: There's a new pill out for depressed lesbians. It's called Trydickagain.

I'm sure it's because I'm delirious with exhaustion but I can't stop laughing at this.

Archimedes' Principal		2012-08-21 11:30:41 PM

And, it can be applied orally, inter-vaginally, anally, or directly to forehead.

/ It's a wonder drug I tells ya'.

Kittypie070		2012-08-21 11:31:37 PM

::facedesk::

miss diminutive		2012-08-21 11:31:51 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: Somehow I don't think this is a very scientific study. Exercising reduces depression and with no seaman involved :/

deadhomersociety.files.wordpress.com

We know what you think about women and seamen mixing.

sweater_pups		2012-08-21 11:31:56 PM

theorellior: "Signature" semen"? Sounds like the house recipe at a famous restaurant. "Hey, ladies, feeling blue? Try some of theorellior's signature semen! It'll cure what ails you!"

put some in a turkey baster and send it my way

reklamfox		2012-08-21 11:36:42 PM

Then I must be the rarest of all birds. A farkette who greatly enjoys sexy bj time with my man, and has suffered from chronic depression for years. The semen cure doesn't seem to work on me

thisisyourbrainonFark		2012-08-21 11:37:04 PM

FTFA: The State University of New York study - which scientists carried out via -

2.bp.blogspot.com

Too late.

stiletto_the_wise		2012-08-21 11:37:26 PM

Natural? Wouldn't that be "man made"?

freewill		2012-08-21 11:42:10 PM

Of course it's a SUNY study.

MeanJean: I can't help wonder if there is some connection between the fact that I have medication-resistant depression and bukkake fantasies....well just a general cum fetish.

/I'm pretty sure it won't help depression to have it all over my body
//though it would definetely take my mind off my problems...

*pause*

*click*

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