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(The Consumerist)   Dear Consumerist: My hands tremble as I write to tell you a bottle of White-Out came in its own box separate from other office supplies I ordered. Please let your readers know I'm shaken to my core, but will somehow find the strength to live   (consumerist.com) divider line 60
    More: Stupid, superhuman strength, heart, wage slaves  
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19183 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Aug 2012 at 2:27 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-08-21 12:39:01 PM
9 votes:
"Hey, we're out of White-Out."
"Yeah, I know. Just ship the rest of our order and let the Baltimore warehouse know they'll need to cover down to complete the order."

...meanwhile, in Baltimore...

"Hey, these idiots ordered ONE bottle of White-Out."
"So? Lots of our customers only order one case."
"Not one case. One bottle."
"WTF?"
"Do we even have any boxes that small?"
"No, because we assume nobody is that farking stupid."
2012-08-21 01:30:51 PM
5 votes:

Spad31: Forty bucks says they were too farking lazy to just buy the goddamned white out at farking Walmart while they were out for lunch.


Fifty bucks says he should just drink the white out.
2012-08-21 12:32:47 PM
5 votes:
That means you recieved more cardboard to build your fort where the real world with its real problems can't find you. Quit yer biatchin'.
2012-08-21 02:36:30 PM
4 votes:
The woman who ordered the whiteout was probably even more pissed when she tried to correct her facebook page with it.
2012-08-21 02:32:18 PM
4 votes:
They were just segregating. It got a separate (but equal) box.
2012-08-21 03:06:06 PM
3 votes:

God Is My Co-Pirate: Indeed, or my lab tech friend who ordered some completely innocuous chemical and got sent radioactive iodine by mistake. Their lab wasn't even cleared to hold it.


Why do I never get cools stuff like that by mistake? Everyone else is getting Sig Sauer rifles and radioactive iodine. I get 'better homes and gardens' by mistake. Do you know what I could do with radioactive iodine? I could make radioactive iodinized salt! Which, I'm pretty sure would give me superpowers.
2012-08-21 02:45:55 PM
3 votes:

kiwimoogle84: WarszawaScream: Ffff it happens all the time, I had OfficeMax send me a box of pens in a separate way-too-big box once. It probably shipped from a different warehouse from the rest of the order.

I was very concerned for a second that you had a penis shipped to you. I think I need a new glasses prescription.


I had to order a penis once. You see, I woke up one morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again. This happens all the time. It's detachable.

This comes in handy a lot of the time. I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent it out, when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning I can't for the life of me remember what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it. So I called up the place where the party was, they hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet 'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes but not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help either. I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak. After a few hours of searching the house, and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed, so I went on e-bay and ordered one. It was being sold as part of a lot with a blanket and a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. I had to buy it off him. He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen. I got it in the mail, washed it off, and put it on. I was happy again. Complete. People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but I don't know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis.
2012-08-21 02:39:58 PM
3 votes:

kiwimoogle84: WarszawaScream: Ffff it happens all the time, I had OfficeMax send me a box of pens in a separate way-too-big box once. It probably shipped from a different warehouse from the rest of the order.

I was very concerned for a second that you had a penis shipped to you. I think I need a new glasses prescription.


Yea. You don't get those shipped. You pick them up at the corner off a blanket. But be sure to wash it off first.
2012-08-21 02:37:44 PM
3 votes:

WarszawaScream: Ffff it happens all the time, I had OfficeMax send me a box of pens in a separate way-too-big box once. It probably shipped from a different warehouse from the rest of the order.


I was very concerned for a second that you had a penis shipped to you. I think I need a new glasses prescription.
2012-08-21 01:12:10 PM
3 votes:
Forty bucks says they were too farking lazy to just buy the goddamned white out at farking Walmart while they were out for lunch.
2012-08-21 12:39:11 PM
3 votes:
I'd sue just because they didn't send me bubble wrap so I could have happy fun time.
2012-08-21 09:41:20 PM
2 votes:

poodebunker: Maybe the white-out refused to travel with the other "inferior" products. Probably just a primadonna bottle.


Or a white supremacist that doesn't want to mix with the yellow pencils or the black printer ink.
2012-08-21 03:07:05 PM
2 votes:
If you think thats bad you should see how small the package is that comes in my wife's box all the time
2012-08-21 03:04:16 PM
2 votes:
I wish I had detachable girlie parts.... then I wouldn't have to worry about rape, legitimate or otherwise. Of course, if I left it at home, the bf would NEVER go out of the house. "Hey, if you're goin out.... why don't you just leave that here..."


You'd still have to worry about rape. You just might not be around when it happened
2012-08-21 03:03:14 PM
2 votes:
They could have sent you a tiny little box, but they sent you more box than you paid for. Generally, when someone gives me free product, I don't complain about it.

Shut up and enjoy your bonus box.
2012-08-21 03:00:54 PM
2 votes:

The All-Powerful Atheismo: kiwimoogle84: WarszawaScream: Ffff it happens all the time, I had OfficeMax send me a box of pens in a separate way-too-big box once. It probably shipped from a different warehouse from the rest of the order.

I was very concerned for a second that you had a penis shipped to you. I think I need a new glasses prescription.

I had to order a penis once. You see, I woke up one morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again. This happens all the time. It's detachable.

This comes in handy a lot of the time. I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent it out, when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning I can't for the life of me remember what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it. So I called up the place where the party was, they hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet 'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes but not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help either. I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak. After a few hours of searching the house, and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed, so I went on e-bay and ordered one. It was being sold as part of a lot with a blanket and a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. I had to buy it off him. He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen. I got it in the mail, washed it off, and put it on. I was happy again. Complete. People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but I don't know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis.


I wish I had detachable girlie parts.... then I wouldn't have to worry about rape, legitimate or otherwise. Of course, if I left it at home, the bf would NEVER go out of the house. "Hey, if you're goin out.... why don't you just leave that here..."
2012-08-21 02:52:24 PM
2 votes:

kiwimoogle84: Tachypnea: Cake Hunter: Thirty bucks says "It's hard to get me at an ATM."

You never go ATM.

Under certain circumstances it is perfectly acceptable to go ATM.


You mean like if it's in your network and there's no transaction fee?
2012-08-21 02:51:26 PM
2 votes:

mod3072: gopher321: I'd sue just because they didn't send me bubble wrap so I could have happy fun time.

There is fun to be had with the big plastic bags of air. Sneak up behind a skittish co-worker, place bag on floor, and stomp. Just don't pick anybody with a bum ticker - you don't want to go down for manslaughter.


Just this morning I received two boxes with air bags. I emptied the boxes and left one bag strategically placed on the floor behind a box. I went back to my desk and waited until the big boss got off the phone. Then I went back "to pick up my mess" and stomped on the bag. One girl nearly fell out of her chair, a mid-level boss thought he'd been shot and started to dive under his desk, and the big boss had to go check his drawers. Totally worth getting the boxes with air bags.
2012-08-21 02:49:49 PM
2 votes:

Galloping Galoshes: The more important question is, who still uses white-out?


I had to buy some when my backspace key was stolen. I don't like how it drips down the screen though.
2012-08-21 02:48:55 PM
2 votes:

The All-Powerful Atheismo:
I had to order a penis once. You see, I woke up one morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again. This happens all the time. It's detachable.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis.


I see you've taken someone's advise to go fark yourself.
2012-08-21 02:35:56 PM
2 votes:

gopher321: I'd sue just because they didn't send me bubble wrap so I could have happy fun time.


There is fun to be had with the big plastic bags of air. Sneak up behind a skittish co-worker, place bag on floor, and stomp. Just don't pick anybody with a bum ticker - you don't want to go down for manslaughter.
2012-08-21 02:35:04 PM
2 votes:
White-Out is a waste anyway. According to our corporate policy mistakes are forbidden.
2012-08-21 02:31:14 PM
2 votes:
I got a pen like that once. One pen. I almost couldn't find it in the box, but the echoes from my search efforts finally allowed me to pinpoint its location.
2012-08-21 02:31:14 PM
2 votes:
Of all the things that could possibly happen, this is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING.
2012-08-21 01:47:52 PM
2 votes:
This is not that uncommon:

img504.imageshack.usimg21.imageshack.usimg25.imageshack.us
2012-08-21 12:22:41 PM
2 votes:
img.photobucket.com
2012-08-21 03:41:26 PM
1 votes:

SuperChuck: QueenMamaBee: SuperChuck: I wish I had detachable girlie parts.... then I wouldn't have to worry about rape, legitimate or otherwise. Of course, if I left it at home, the bf would NEVER go out of the house. "Hey, if you're goin out.... why don't you just leave that here..."


You'd still have to worry about rape. You just might not be around when it happened

Nah, I can promise bf would never let it out of his sight. I'm okay with him using it as long as he cleans up afterwards.

If by "cleans up afterwards" you mean "wipes it off with a sock" you're probably OK.


Oh I want a full wash and trip through the dryer. Of course, if it disappears like half of my socks, I'm screwed.

Or rather I can't be screwed.
2012-08-21 03:37:11 PM
1 votes:

DoBeDoBeDo: ProfessorOhki: Galloping Galoshes: ProfessorOhki: They could have sent you a tiny little box, but they sent you more box than you paid for. Generally, when someone gives me free product, I don't complain about it.

Here, have a free prostate exam.

That's a service.

Here is some human feces


Well, that's what you get for trying to surprise someone with a prostate exam.
2012-08-21 03:27:15 PM
1 votes:

QueenMamaBee: SuperChuck: I wish I had detachable girlie parts.... then I wouldn't have to worry about rape, legitimate or otherwise. Of course, if I left it at home, the bf would NEVER go out of the house. "Hey, if you're goin out.... why don't you just leave that here..."


You'd still have to worry about rape. You just might not be around when it happened

Nah, I can promise bf would never let it out of his sight. I'm okay with him using it as long as he cleans up afterwards.


If by "cleans up afterwards" you mean "wipes it off with a sock" you're probably OK.
2012-08-21 03:15:28 PM
1 votes:

ProfessorOhki: Galloping Galoshes: ProfessorOhki: They could have sent you a tiny little box, but they sent you more box than you paid for. Generally, when someone gives me free product, I don't complain about it.

Here, have a free prostate exam.

That's a service.


Here is some human feces
2012-08-21 03:07:44 PM
1 votes:

kvinesknows: If you think thats bad you should see how small the package is that comes in my wife's box all the time


And we have a winner. +1
2012-08-21 03:06:34 PM
1 votes:

SuperChuck: I wish I had detachable girlie parts.... then I wouldn't have to worry about rape, legitimate or otherwise. Of course, if I left it at home, the bf would NEVER go out of the house. "Hey, if you're goin out.... why don't you just leave that here..."


You'd still have to worry about rape. You just might not be around when it happened


Nah, I can promise bf would never let it out of his sight. I'm okay with him using it as long as he cleans up afterwards.
2012-08-21 03:05:37 PM
1 votes:

ProfessorOhki: They could have sent you a tiny little box, but they sent you more box than you paid for. Generally, when someone gives me free product, I don't complain about it.


Here, have a free prostate exam.
2012-08-21 03:03:49 PM
1 votes:
Typical tabloid fodder. Just because you found something white that came in a little box doesn't mean you saw Michael Jackson.

MAYORBOB: Did you know that Michael Nesmith's (of the Monkees) mom invented White Out? She is probably getting a kick out of this thread.


Heh, I just watched Elephant Parts last night!
2012-08-21 02:57:50 PM
1 votes:
I think that's the last Consumerist link I click on, the last one before that was about someone trying to return a 6 year old tv and they wouldn't take it back. Those types of stories just makes me hate mankind.
2012-08-21 02:57:03 PM
1 votes:

The All-Powerful Atheismo: What the Fark Wizzbang: mod3072: gopher321: I'd sue just because they didn't send me bubble wrap so I could have happy fun time.

There is fun to be had with the big plastic bags of air. Sneak up behind a skittish co-worker, place bag on floor, and stomp. Just don't pick anybody with a bum ticker - you don't want to go down for manslaughter.

Just this morning I received two boxes with air bags. I emptied the boxes and left one bag strategically placed on the floor behind a box. I went back to my desk and waited until the big boss got off the phone. Then I went back "to pick up my mess" and stomped on the bag. One girl nearly fell out of her chair, a mid-level boss thought he'd been shot and started to dive under his desk, and the big boss had to go check his drawers. Totally worth getting the boxes with air bags.

The real point of the story however is, did the girl who almost fell out of her chair come equipped with airbags?


Actually, yes. However, she was going to go sideways and her airbags are rated for front impacts only.
2012-08-21 02:55:13 PM
1 votes:

kiwimoogle84: SuperChuck: kiwimoogle84: Tachypnea: Cake Hunter: Thirty bucks says "It's hard to get me at an ATM."

You never go ATM.

Under certain circumstances it is perfectly acceptable to go ATM.

You mean like if it's in your network and there's no transaction fee?

I mean like when the lights are low, and you're really drunk, and he's really cute...

and he needs cash for the taqueria down the street. Yeah. Right.


Sometimes a story is just a little bit too long...
2012-08-21 02:52:14 PM
1 votes:

cgraves67: Galloping Galoshes: The more important question is, who still uses white-out?

I had to buy some when my backspace key was stolen. I don't like how it drips down the screen though.


If you use a big enough brush, you can justify a new, larger screen.
2012-08-21 02:50:26 PM
1 votes:
Dear Consumerist:

The world isn't operating the way I demand. Please fix it.
2012-08-21 02:47:48 PM
1 votes:
Ummm- who the fark uses White Out anymore...I mean other than to sniff??
2012-08-21 02:47:44 PM
1 votes:
I just had 2 tee shirts arrive.
In a big box
Wrapped in bubble wrap.
WTF?
2012-08-21 02:47:15 PM
1 votes:

Tachypnea: Cake Hunter: Thirty bucks says "It's hard to get me at an ATM."

You never go ATM.


Under certain circumstances it is perfectly acceptable to go ATM.
2012-08-21 02:45:53 PM
1 votes:
We ordered a file cabinet and a packet of 0.7 leads for a mechanical pencil. There were two boxes on the porch, one the size of a file cabinet, the other the size of two shoe-boxes. The not-file-cabinet box contained a plastic mailing envelope which contained the container of pencil leads, not more than 1.5 inches long, maybe 1/2 inch wide, 1/4 inch thick. I did recoil in horror.
2012-08-21 02:45:35 PM
1 votes:

Tachypnea: Cake Hunter: Thirty bucks says "It's hard to get me at an ATM."

You never go ATM.


You must be new to Fark.
2012-08-21 02:43:51 PM
1 votes:

Cake Hunter: Thirty bucks says "It's hard to get me at an ATM."


You never go ATM.
2012-08-21 02:42:16 PM
1 votes:
Dear reader,

Kill yourself.
2012-08-21 02:42:10 PM
1 votes:
"Dear Consumerist,

I recently placed a large order with staples.com and they completely dropped the ball and forgot one bottle of white-out I'd ordered. I had to call them because they are too incompetent to even realize their own mistake. By the time I finally talked to them and they sent me the bottle, it was already 8 days after I'd initially placed the order.

Why can't companies have common sense, realize their own mistakes and just fix them before the customer has to call them out on it? All they had to do was send out the extra bottle of white-out in another shipment, and the PR boost they'd get from me telling everyone about their customer service would easily pay for that second shipment. Instead like every other company out there, they chose to be short-sighted.

Should I sue them for $10,000 just to cover how I value the time spent on the phone with them, or should I make it $20,000 to cover my emotional distress too?"
2012-08-21 02:41:57 PM
1 votes:
I'd just like to take the time to say that I'm quite enjoying this new Consumerist meme.
2012-08-21 02:39:08 PM
1 votes:
The more important question is, who still uses white-out?
2012-08-21 02:37:52 PM
1 votes:
Did you know that Michael Nesmith's (of the Monkees) mom invented White Out? She is probably getting a kick out of this thread.
2012-08-21 02:37:41 PM
1 votes:
Goddamned crying Yuppies.
2012-08-21 02:36:42 PM
1 votes:
I think a gubberment vester gation is in order!
2012-08-21 02:36:10 PM
1 votes:
If it was a cartridge of printer ink it would be understanable.

/See, printer ink is ridiculously expensive for what you get, and jokes are often made on FARK about that.
2012-08-21 02:35:46 PM
1 votes:
They probably had to go on an archeological dig to find White Out.
2012-08-21 02:35:13 PM
1 votes:
Fark, seriously... how much to get rid Consumerist links? Put a figure on it. It used to be funny, then entertaining in that rage-filled way... now it is just a constant reminder of how vapid most inhabitants of our society are.
2012-08-21 02:32:01 PM
1 votes:
Somewhere, a shipping lackey is getting his kicks sending over packaged products.

Awesome.
2012-08-21 02:31:01 PM
1 votes:

Sgt Otter: "Hey, we're out of White-Out."
"Yeah, I know. Just ship the rest of our order and let the Baltimore warehouse know they'll need to cover down to complete the order."

...meanwhile, in Baltimore...

"Hey, these idiots ordered ONE bottle of White-Out."
"So? Lots of our customers only order one case."
"Not one case. One bottle."
"WTF?"
"Do we even have any boxes that small?"
"No, because we assume nobody is that farking stupid."


See the head on this nail? Yeah, you hit that, you hit that good.
2012-08-21 01:50:07 PM
1 votes:
Fifty bucks he picks his nose

i105.photobucket.com
2012-08-21 01:09:23 PM
1 votes:
Thirty bucks says "It's hard to get me at an ATM."
2012-08-21 12:39:22 PM
1 votes:
That sounds like a question they should probably address to Staples, but I suppose they'd get more attention through the Consumerist.
 
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