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(Gawker)   Mike Huckabee would like to remind you that rape has created some extraordinary people   (gawker.com) divider line 130
    More: PSA, Mike Huckabee, Waters, Infraction  
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29143 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Aug 2012 at 3:14 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-08-21 12:32:10 AM
18 votes:
I wonder what their stance on this would be if rape always produced gay babies?
2012-08-21 03:47:44 AM
11 votes:
www.exposemittromney.com

Hey GOP..... I'm trying to run a campaign here... you think you can go 2 days without talking about rape? Thanks.
2012-08-21 03:45:42 AM
10 votes:

(or)


Today's GOP
Come in our big tent so we can rape you
2012-08-21 03:30:53 AM
10 votes:
Damn dirty librals trying to ruin the sanctity of rape
2012-08-21 04:14:03 AM
9 votes:
Can we just start calling them Rape-ublicans now?
2012-08-21 01:14:08 AM
9 votes:
Legitimate rape: It's a pretty effective birth control. No need for condoms. On the rare chance it works, it produces wonderful people.
2012-08-21 04:02:43 AM
7 votes:

Biological Ali: You won't see anybody talking about "justifiable rape" or "rape committed in self-defense" or what have you.


SHE WAS COMING RIGHT AT ME!!
2012-08-21 12:17:09 AM
6 votes:
Well, I'm pretty sure Jesus qualifies as a child of rape under any definition of the word. I don't think Mary wanted to be pregnant.
2012-08-21 04:10:27 AM
5 votes:

dletter: Burn_The_Plows: Biological Ali: You won't see anybody talking about "justifiable rape" or "rape committed in self-defense" or what have you.

SHE WAS COMING RIGHT AT ME!!

And it was my only weapon!


26.media.tumblr.com
PHANTOM SPACEMAN!
2012-08-21 03:44:36 AM
5 votes:
GOP: The Party of Rape
Vote GOP • Vote Rape
2012-08-21 02:42:08 AM
5 votes:
The most shocking thing about all of this is suddenly realizing that, all along, Karl Rove was actually a sobering, calming influence on GOP electoral discourse.
2012-08-21 01:12:23 AM
5 votes:

FlyingLizardOfDoom: So society is better off if people keep on raping?


You know who was big on rape? Ghengis Khan. He raped a LOT of women. Now something like 10% of China is a direct descendant of the man. Why can't we have more great leaders like that?
2012-08-21 12:27:33 AM
5 votes:
RAAAAPE!

media.tumblr.com
2012-08-20 10:35:47 PM
5 votes:

Irving Maimway: How can there be variations on rape??


Well, there's

"rape"


And then there's

api.ning.com


But I can't say I know the difference.
2012-08-21 04:35:18 AM
4 votes:

Gyrfalcon: Ed Finnerty: Gyrfalcon: These fools actually believe in that old lawyer joke about a woman being able to run faster with her skirt up than a man can with his pants down.

That's crazy. Everyone knows men are more aerodynamic especially with a malicious erection.

What if it's just a negligent erection?


Then the man is a flip-flopper.
2012-08-21 04:04:25 AM
4 votes:

Burn_The_Plows: Biological Ali: You won't see anybody talking about "justifiable rape" or "rape committed in self-defense" or what have you.

SHE WAS COMING RIGHT AT ME!!


And it was my only weapon!
2012-08-21 03:29:09 AM
4 votes:
www.filehurricane.com

Todd Akin won't mind and might even watch!
2012-08-21 09:12:46 AM
3 votes:

Makh: Legitimate rape: It's a pretty effective birth control. No need for condoms. On the rare chance it works, it produces wonderful people.


Two kids is enough for us so my wife and I practice legitimate rape as our form of birth control.
2012-08-21 08:41:43 AM
3 votes:

doglover: MythDragon: Bonus:
If you GIS 'rape' and 'Japan', you get this gem.
3.bp.blogspot.com


The green vegetable in the back of the octopi is a stalk of rape flower.

Don't know what rape flower is? Look into what "canola" really means. It will blow your mind. Also, you'll finally understand why there's 40lbs of it a box.


Interesting.
To YOU, good sir, for advancing our knowledge. I am humbled by you.

chzgifs.files.wordpress.com
2012-08-21 07:09:07 AM
3 votes:
prepareformass.files.wordpress.com
2012-08-21 07:08:37 AM
3 votes:
I'm getting a kick out of this thread, because this morning I had a legitimate crepe.

It was delicious.
2012-08-21 06:15:10 AM
3 votes:

slayer199: These clowns need to STFU...they're clearly insane.


Would you say that they form a posse?

/sorry
2012-08-21 06:05:09 AM
3 votes:

dickfreckle: Also, I agree with other Farkers about being annoyed by this whole "forcible" thing. Rape is rape, Do we say "green asparagus?" "Red cabernet?" Is the use of "forcible" being used to imply that some rape is less rapey than others?


Some people are saying statutory rape isn't (necessarily) forcible. But raping a statue would require a lot of force.
2012-08-21 04:06:26 AM
3 votes:

Biological Ali: "justifiable rape" or "rape committed in self-defense"


i.imgur.com

"Let me just take a few quick notes here..."
2012-08-21 04:00:05 AM
3 votes:

rocky_howard: Are you dense? There's also variations on homicide:


That's because "homicide" is a very broad term that can refer to plenty of things that aren't crimes at all - in contrast with rape, which is by definition a crime. You won't see anybody talking about "justifiable rape" or "rape committed in self-defense" or what have you.
2012-08-21 03:56:02 AM
3 votes:
obit-mag.com
2012-08-21 03:44:49 AM
3 votes:
Sounds like Republicans are tripping over themselves trying to be apologists for Julian Assange. Who knew?
2012-08-21 03:38:52 AM
3 votes:
Don't blame me. I voted for Kodos.
2012-08-21 03:37:28 AM
3 votes:

Irving Maimway: Holy fark he really said that.

[. . .] How can there be variations on rape?? [. . .]


There's all kinds of rape. Improvisational rape, Kansas City rape, cool rape, big band rape...

Wait, those are types of jazz. Or as I like to call it, ear-rape.
2012-08-21 03:27:57 AM
3 votes:
I think the GOP has a misprint in their copy of the Declaration of Independence. Someone should tell them it's not "Life, liberty and the pursuit of a penis".
2012-08-21 03:19:51 AM
3 votes:
Mike Huckabee: Gay marriage bad, eat chicken. Rape good, too.
2012-08-20 11:13:20 PM
3 votes:
you'd figure that by now the GOP would have sent out some sort of mass email to everyone everywhere that said something along the lines of 'SHUT UP AND STOP TALKING!'
2012-08-20 10:23:43 PM
3 votes:
Ethel Waters and James Robinson are the products of forcible rape, and they are excellent people.

First off, if their mothers got pregnant, then Todd Akin says they couldn't have been forcible raped. And I see nowhere in Huckabee's statement that denies this scientific fact.

Secondly, I'm doubtful as to the value of a televangalist who pioneered the mating of Christianity and politics. I'm certain that homosexuals who have been denied civil rights due in part to his actions, and Muslims who have had their religious freedom curtailed because membership in the republican party has grown to require denouncement and hatred of anything non-christian would certainly not think he is a great man.

Thirdly, what does a republican have to actually say to get his party to completely and utterly denouce him? A sane and moral man would have simply called Akin a farking moron, left it at that, and not bothered trying to find the silver lining in his statement. And no, this isn't a both sides are bad issue - it is a republican one. Watch this:

Anthony Weiner was an idiot to sext pictures of his junk - to anybody. For that matter, anyone who sexts is an idiot.
Ted Kennedy could have prevented the death of Mary Jo Kopechne.
Bill Clinton is a serial womanizer.

See, said all that with a straight face and without needing to add qualifiers. Now when is a republican going to stand up and say "Todd Akin is an idiot. I don't care about his stance on abortion - it doesn't matter because he proved his dumbassness before he even got that far. Calling the man a functional moron is a such an insult to morons that I have requested Secret Service protection."
2012-08-21 01:06:16 PM
2 votes:

CeroX: 1 - the right has people like Rush and O'Reilly who are professional boat rockers. They stir up the shiat and convince people, lots of people, TONS of people, that the left is out to get them and their livelihoods. What they say may sounds stupid to some, but it's gospel to a lot and regardless what we think about them, they are smart and focused. They know exactly what buttons to push in people to get them to think a certain way. The right know exactly how to schism this country.


s3.amazonaws.com
mhd
2012-08-21 11:55:07 AM
2 votes:
And I thought the pagans had weird outdoor rituals...

i.imgur.com
"Arise from the rape, wonderful people!"

By golly, it works!
i.imgur.com
2012-08-21 09:37:40 AM
2 votes:

vernonFL: Jesus wasn't the only God born as a result of rape, there were others who were the result of Gods raping people.

If you read through lots of mytholgies, God rape is pretty common, as is devil rape and ghost rape.


And yet, clown rape is sadly absent.
2012-08-21 09:19:53 AM
2 votes:

mrshowrules: Biological Ali: rocky_howard: Are you dense? There's also variations on homicide:

That's because "homicide" is a very broad term that can refer to plenty of things that aren't crimes at all - in contrast with rape, which is by definition a crime. You won't see anybody talking about "justifiable rape" or "rape committed in self-defense" or what have you.

Don't forget Florida's "Stand Your Ground" protections on raping.


As in "she was giving me slutty looks, so I raped her in self defense"?
2012-08-21 09:17:39 AM
2 votes:

Salt Lick Steady: In what respect, doglover?


I wasn't expecting a customer for the Die CoTM Baby Catapult* by the end of the post. Maybe something more passive aggressive or mournful.


*Not for babies.
2012-08-21 08:29:12 AM
2 votes:

dletter: Hey GOP..... I'm trying to run a campaign here... you think you can go 2 days without talking about rape? Thanks.


"Now, where we're we? Oh ...

"As I was saying, Obama's tax plan is a job-killer. Under his plan, millions of Americans will have to fire 3-4 of their butlers, and scale down to only 2 new Bentleys a week ..."
2012-08-21 08:18:28 AM
2 votes:

fusillade762: I wonder what their stance on this would be if rape always produced gay babies?


Well, they can't be aborted; that would be a sin. So you have to give birth, then immediately put the kid in a "straight education camp" so he can learn to be attracted to girls like a "normal" person.

Then, when he's a teenager and starting to like girls, make him take virginity and anti-masturbation pledges. Later in college, he'll be bursting with God's love - so much that he'll grab he first girl he sees at a frat party, non-forcibly rape her in accordance with God's Plan, and impregnate her with another extraordinary Christian Warrior.
2012-08-21 07:45:34 AM
2 votes:

MythDragon: Bonus:
If you GIS 'rape' and 'Japan', you get this gem.
3.bp.blogspot.com



The green vegetable in the back of the octopi is a stalk of rape flower.

Don't know what rape flower is? Look into what "canola" really means. It will blow your mind. Also, you'll finally understand why there's 40lbs of it a box.
2012-08-21 07:18:35 AM
2 votes:
www.ratemymotivational.com

Bonus:
If you GIS 'rape' and 'Japan', you get this gem.
3.bp.blogspot.com
2012-08-21 06:50:56 AM
2 votes:
These people have lost their damned minds... "Forcible" rape. As opposed to?

I love how the GOP is now trying to throw up a smoke screen that Akin's views are outside of the mainstream GOP view and they're all so offended by them. Bullshiat. The only thing these assholes are offended by is the fact he put a vital Senate seat in jeopardy by saying what many Republicans believe but know the vast majority of the American public find disgusting these days.

Republicans have been spouting this kind of nonsense since the 80s, at least.


Oh, and...

sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net
2012-08-21 06:14:31 AM
2 votes:

LordOfThePings: Some people are saying statutory rape isn't (necessarily) forcible. But raping a statue would require a lot of force.


Yeah, but they can't consent, so it's always rape.
2012-08-21 05:43:57 AM
2 votes:

libranoelrose: untaken_name: God-is-a-Taco: stoli n coke:
BTW, Huckster. There is NOTHING Christian about rape. At all.

How do you figure? The bible has all sorts of rules on rape, and most of it punishes the victim more than the rapist.

The victim is punished more than being stoned to death? I get the feeling you heard that from someone rather than looked it up yourself.

Who is the victim?


The victim is clearly the conservative Christian male, whose archaic, patriarchal views are under attack by us evil libruls. Apparently rape is ok, as long as it is done within a Biblical context.

Link

Link

Link

Link

Link

Link

Link

Link
2012-08-21 05:42:39 AM
2 votes:
Keep raping that chicken
2012-08-21 04:54:03 AM
2 votes:

stoli n coke: mind over manner


You win first price.
2012-08-21 04:09:27 AM
2 votes:

Gyrfalcon: These fools actually believe in that old lawyer joke about a woman being able to run faster with her skirt up than a man can with his pants down.


That's crazy. Everyone knows men are more aerodynamic especially with a malicious erection.
2012-08-21 03:54:26 AM
2 votes:

untaken_name: Hetfield: We gave women the right to vote, and they still complain? Stay classy, women.

The very idea of "equality of the sexes" is silly. Have you EVER known a woman who was happy with what she had?


I don't really know, they won't talk much unless I pay extra. :(
2012-08-21 03:32:35 AM
2 votes:
From the comments under TFA:

"In fact, it is consensual sex that produced such monsters as Hitler, Stalin, and Jimmy Carter. Unless of course they were one of those few cases of legitimate rape where the woman's body didn't function correctly. However, the odds are slim. So let me ask you, would you rather take your chances with consensual sex, which has such a sordid track record, or forcible rape that produced these two fine Americans?"
2012-08-21 03:30:02 AM
2 votes:

eraser8: Karac:
But for all of that the overall numbers in the race have moved very little.Republican voters have been conditioned to be extraordinarily loyal to whatever lowlife is running under the party label. So, you can safely ignore any list of reasons a Republican gives you for why he's voting for Herp McDerp. There's only real reason: Herp McDerp is a Republican.


Reminds me of Douglas Adams:

[An extraterrestrial robot and spaceship has just landed on earth. The robot steps out of the spaceship...]
"I come in peace," it said, adding after a long moment of further grinding, "take me to your Lizard."

Ford Prefect, of course, had an explanation for this, as he sat with Arthur and watched the nonstop frenetic news reports on television, none of which had anything to say other than to record that the thing had done this amount of damage which was valued at that amount of billions of pounds and had killed this totally other number of people, and then say it again, because the robot was doing nothing more than standing there, swaying very slightly, and emitting short incomprehensible error messages.

"It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see..."

"You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?"

"No," said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like to straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."

"Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."

"I did," said ford. "It is."

"So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't the people get rid of the lizards?"

"It honestly doesn't occur to them," said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want."

"You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"

"Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course."

"But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"

"Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?"

"What?"

"I said," said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, "have you got any gin?"

"I'll look. Tell me about the lizards."

Ford shrugged again.

"Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happened to them," he said. "They're completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone's got to say it."
2012-08-21 03:19:45 AM
2 votes:
Republicans are such farking morons. There are things they should just never, ever discuss, and rape is one of them. They do not possess the intelligence nor the nuance needed to handle such a delicate topic of discussion. Stick to bashing gays and pissing yourselves in fear of Muslims.
2012-08-21 02:14:37 AM
2 votes:
Keep it upharkabee, you're a damn fine mouthpiece for the base of the GOP.
2012-08-20 11:55:40 PM
2 votes:

Weaver95: you'd figure that by now the GOP would have sent out some sort of mass email to everyone everywhere that said something along the lines of 'SHUT UP AND STOP TALKING!'


It's part of the general anti-intellectualism and proud ignorance of the GOP. They don't want to be reasonable. They want to double down on that shiat.
2012-08-21 04:49:47 PM
1 votes:

A Fark Handle: [cache1.bigcartel.com image 450x450]

/what the fark is wrong with this nation?


also...

weknowmemes.com

/maybe rape sperm are supersperm?
2012-08-21 03:18:49 PM
1 votes:

Ed Finnerty: Gyrfalcon: Ed Finnerty: Gyrfalcon: These fools actually believe in that old lawyer joke about a woman being able to run faster with her skirt up than a man can with his pants down.

That's crazy. Everyone knows men are more aerodynamic especially with a malicious erection.

What if it's just a negligent erection?

Then the man is a flip-flopper.


I'm so sorry when I leave here early.
2012-08-21 01:38:08 PM
1 votes:

trappedspirit: Ed Grubermann: Did Dick Cheney defend rape?

Is anybody "defending" rape?


Mike Huckabee is doing quite the bangup job of it.
2012-08-21 01:29:38 PM
1 votes:

The Great EZE: Funny how the calls for bipartisan cooperation and cries of "Both sides are bad!" happen as soon as your side starts exposing themselves as abject morons.


Both sides are bad, pay no attention to our rape apologists.

/Vote Rapeublican.
2012-08-21 12:42:57 PM
1 votes:
I don't think republicans are pro-rape, they're just frustrated by not getting a receipt for consensual sex.
2012-08-21 11:35:12 AM
1 votes:
This is gonna be the best election cycle EVER!!

God bless us, every one!
2012-08-21 11:31:08 AM
1 votes:
upload.wikimedia.org

This is the Milky Way galaxy, home to an estimated trillions of extra-terrestrial life forms. I'm sure Mike Huckabee supports funding NASA with hundreds of billions of dollars for deep space exploration outside of our solar system so he can be greeted as the rape-overlord of trillions of artistic, rape-miniature American flag wavers. Here's hoping all your rape x trillions dreams come true, Mike

/rape x trillions
2012-08-21 11:28:05 AM
1 votes:

Ahhh Mike Huckabee... still proving that fundamentalist religious beliefs are a universal cure for intelligence and reason.


diagoras.files.wordpress.com
2012-08-21 11:17:44 AM
1 votes:
upload.wikimedia.org

This is the Earth, populated by some 3.5 billion females. I'm sure Mike Huckabee is looking forward to all 3.5 billion of them being raped so he can enjoy being the wealthy rape-exploiter of 3.5 billion artistic, rape-wage slaves. Here's hoping all your rape x 3.5 billion dreams come true, Mike.

/rape x 3.5 billion
2012-08-21 11:06:40 AM
1 votes:
wwp.greenwichmeantime.com

This is the state of Arkansas, home to 1.5 million females. I'm sure Mike Huckabee is looking forward to all 1.5 million of them being raped so he can enjoy being the rape-ex-governor to 1.5 million artistic, rape-constituents. Here's hoping all your rape x 1.5 million dreams come true, Mike.

/rape x 1.5 million
2012-08-21 10:53:05 AM
1 votes:
"Well, I just woke up today and thought, what a nice day to align myself with one of the most hated people in America right now. What could possibly go wrong?" - Mike Huckabee
2012-08-21 10:50:27 AM
1 votes:
cache.gawker.com

This is Mary Cheney and her spouse Heather Poe. I'm sure Mike Huckabee is looking forward to both of them being raped so he can enjoy being the rape-godfather to two artistic, rape-godchildren. Here's hoping all your rape rape dreams come true, Mike.

/rape rape
2012-08-21 10:38:43 AM
1 votes:
I know I shouldn't read these threads, but like some kind of unreasonable optimist I keep hoping for some interesting and insightful discussion rather than the blindly partisan bickering that tends to be the norm. I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment.

That being said, I'm what most people would generally term a fiscal and social "Conservative". As a rule I vote independent (rarely if ever party line) though I have registered as a republican on occasion to participate in a primary. In the last presidential election I voted for Obama because I felt that McCain had sold out his integrity for the nomination and even though I didn't agree with many of Obama's stances I believed he was committed to some legitimate change. While he's obviously done some good things I don't think I can vote for him again with the continued growth of the police state, but Romney doesn't do anything for me either. At this point I doubt there's much that will keep the next four years from continuing to suck.

At the end of the day, both major political parties have their extremists and morons. I keep seeing people in this thread affirm that "only forcible rape is rape" is the position of the republican party when this is demonstrably false. Individual Republicans (and Democrats) have plenty of indefensibly moronic positions, I don't think it's really necessary to try and paint the entire party with the broad brush of one idiot's colossal clusterfark.

In this day and age no reasonable person believes that ANY undesired sexual contact is acceptable. Argue all you want about the semantic definitions, you're just hopping onboard the derp train. We're not going to ever make a difference if we keep allowing the two dominant parties to divide us with extremist politicking.

Any democrat that is calling out the entire republican party over Akin's idiotic and indefensible statement is just as stupid as the deep south republican calling for Obama's birth certificate. When you buy into the party's message and start demonizing groups of people for a single idea you play right into the hands of the powerful elite whose interests are protected by both parties.

Most people in this country are somewhere in the middle. Until we quit allowing ourselves to be divided by edge cases and minority extremism the country will continue to go to hell in a handbasket regardless of whether it's being driven by a Democrat or a Republican.

We need to call out the individuals that hold extremist and moronic stances for the idiots that they are without unjustifiably accusing everyone else in their party of holding the exact same beliefs. Find and ostracize the pure politicians that make a living sowing hatred and distrust with scare tactics (Muslims are going to eat your babies! Liberals are going to steal all your guns and make you have 3rd term partial birth abortions! All Christians want to make the country a theocracy and outlaw science!) and make it impossible to get elected on a platform of fear and division. Demand that our candidates from both parties detail their positions on all of the issues that matter instead of just campaigning on a single talking point designed to "mobilize the base".

National Defense, Equal Rights, Freedom of Speech, Net Neutrality, Healthcare, Taxes and Fiscal Policy, etc. etc. are all critical issues. We should never elect someone without knowing their stances and plans in all of these areas so that a truly informed decision can be made. We need truly independent analysis of their positions by impartial experts in each field. Until that time we'll continue to elect the same class of me-first career politicians that got us into the mess we're currently enjoying.

Both sides of the spectrum need to realize how the established parties use these issues to keep us divided and separated into nice neat little groups that are easily manipulated and controlled.

The calls of "all republicans are ignorant, uneducated science-denying hicks" and "all democrats are homosexual flag-hating baby killers" are no more accurate than the antiquated calls demonizing Blacks, Women, Hispanics, Japanese, or the Russians. These generalizations serve only to falsely encourage fear and distrust so that we are less likely to form a united front and demand accountability and rationality from the people we trust to lead us.

In the age of the Internet we should be able to realize that even though we may occupy slightly different locations on the political scale and we each have our own positions on the important issues we have far more in common than not. Allowing ourselves to be split up into 2 giant pots (or 3 or more if you want to include the impotent independents) simply serves to reinforce the status quo.

Is there one party that blindly marches in lockstep more than the other? Almost certainly. But ultimately the difference, no matter how pronounced, is negligible. Until the majority of people across the entire spectrum of liberal and conservative thought rejects the stereotyping and uses some critical thinking things are only going to get worse. After Citizens United the wealthy have an even more disproportionate amount of influence and will be successful in protecting their interests over the vast majority of us that don't have the same advantages. As long as they simply have to bankroll single-issue attacks ads targeted at specific populations we will continue to be led like sheep to the slaughter.

I envision a time when some kind of change allows people to make decisions based on what's best for the country as a whole instead of voting based on a single talking point. Campaign finance reform? Term Limits? Mandatory voter education? Flying unicorns vomiting rainbows across major population centers? Unfortunately they're all equally likely to happen, and equally likely to create real reform.

What's the real solution? It's going to take someone a lot smarter (and probably far wealthier and influential) than me to figure it out and make it happen. However unless someone finds it sooner rather than later we're just going to keep circling the drain.

Sorry for the wall of text. It just continually sickens me to see the transparent mechanisms of the parties successfully influencing the demographic that should be the most informed and immune to their lies and manipulations.

TL:DR

With the exception of an isolated few notable morons (like Huckabee) NO ONE on either side of the aisle is defending Akin or his ridiculous statements. Instead of picking sides and slinging mud at each other we should all just call him out for the idiot he is. Expose his ignorance and hold him personally accountable then join forces (liberal, conservative, or anywhere in between) to vote for changes that will really help this country instead of allowing ourselves to be segregated, divided, distracted, and manipulated by emotionally charged wedge issues.

Still TL:DR

If you say "All Republicans think X" or "All Democrats think Y" your politics are bad and you should feel bad.
2012-08-21 10:35:58 AM
1 votes:
theiowarepublican.com

This is Mike Huckabee's daughter Sarah. I'm sure he is looking forward to her being raped so he can enjoy being a grandfather of a artistic rape-grandchild. Here's hoping all your rape dreams come true, Mike.

/rape
2012-08-21 10:30:56 AM
1 votes:
www.religionnews.com


"You say you were asked whether `the rape of Dominique Francon by
Howard Roark was a violation of Dominique's freedom, an act of force
that was contrary to the Objectivist Ethics?' The answer is: of course
not. It was not an actual rape, but a symbolic action which Dominique
all but invited. This was the action she wanted and Howard Roark knew
it."


/in other words "If it was rape, it was rape by engraved invitation"
//in days of ryan-rape-republican threads no one brought up the randroid rape fetish connection yet?
2012-08-21 10:22:32 AM
1 votes:

AbbeySomeone: Makh: Legitimate rape: It's a pretty effective birth control. No need for condoms. On the rare chance it works, it produces wonderful people.

Can you get an STD as a result of legitimate rape?

/surprised no one has asked this yet.


No. If a woman is forcibly raped, her body automatically produces a whole bunch of super antibodies to combat any possible infections. In the extremely rare cases where a woman can pick up an STD, it should be viewed as a gift. Maybe a little crotch rot will keep you from whoring around so much.

//I really need to get out of this thread before I get sent to super hell
2012-08-21 10:15:23 AM
1 votes:

RussianPooper: If men could get pregnant by rape, we wouldn't even be having this discussion.


That's an interesting twist on Florynce Kennedy's famous "If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament" quote.
2012-08-21 09:38:42 AM
1 votes:

FlyingLizardOfDoom: stonicus: GAT_00: Well, I'm pretty sure Jesus qualifies as a child of rape under any definition of the word. I don't think Mary wanted to be pregnant.

Gabriel did ask her permission...
Though, if she said no it would have gone against god's plan, which kind of kills the idea of free will...
If I was pre-destined to be born, did my parents really have free will to choose to hook up?

Actually no. Gabe showed up and said, "God is gunna tap your ass" and Mary was like "if he must", and just let it happen.


And then Gabe shows up at Joe's place and was like, "my Homie Yahweh just did up your girl. Deal wid it." And Joe was like "whatever".
2012-08-21 09:37:07 AM
1 votes:

stonicus: GAT_00: Well, I'm pretty sure Jesus qualifies as a child of rape under any definition of the word. I don't think Mary wanted to be pregnant.

Gabriel did ask her permission...
Though, if she said no it would have gone against god's plan, which kind of kills the idea of free will...
If I was pre-destined to be born, did my parents really have free will to choose to hook up?


Actually no. Gabe showed up and said, "God is gunna tap your ass" and Mary was like "if he must", and just let it happen.
2012-08-21 09:27:56 AM
1 votes:
i367.photobucket.com
2012-08-21 09:17:22 AM
1 votes:
Rapepublicans?
2012-08-21 09:09:27 AM
1 votes:

doglover: MythDragon: Bonus:
If you GIS 'rape' and 'Japan', you get this gem.
3.bp.blogspot.com


The green vegetable in the back of the octopi is a stalk of rape flower.

Don't know what rape flower is? Look into what "canola" really means. It will blow your mind. Also, you'll finally understand why there's 40lbs of it a box.


I know what a rape flower is, I wasn't even thinking about that. When I see octopus come up in a GIS for 'rape' and 'Japan' I just think it's par for the course for Japan.
2012-08-21 09:07:56 AM
1 votes:

Garaba: Fark Republicans, that is all


Now, would that be rape, or would it be rape rape?
2012-08-21 09:01:27 AM
1 votes:

Salt Lick Steady: I guess I'll just throw this out there.

Having flashbacks of a rape, or having someone even remind you of it, can send an otherwise stable person into ptsd mode. I'm shaking and stabby right now reading a damn fark thread about it. I can't even imagine the life of the "typical" person who grew up as a product of rape, but I can personally say that such product wouldn't have made it many years before it was dead and I was in prison.

 


25.media.tumblr.com
2012-08-21 08:56:05 AM
1 votes:
If they get to redefine rape, I think the rest of us should redefine spitting on them anytime they're in public as not 'legitimate' assault.

In fact, not only should it be totally legal to spit on Huckabee and Akin, but it should be encouraged. All right thinking Americans, hawk your loogies for freedom!
2012-08-21 08:51:57 AM
1 votes:
Ah, farkabee. This is an old bit from 2001, but it's a great bit that shows just how stupid this guy is -- even on issues that have nothing to do with anything related to Jeebus. This longer clip sets up the joke, but you can FF to 1:50 to see the most relevant part.

Congratulations, Canada, on preserving your national igloo!
2012-08-21 08:50:08 AM
1 votes:
Now if the rapist would just marry the victim and be a father to the rape baby like the bible says he's supposed to, all will be well.
2012-08-21 08:44:06 AM
1 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com

Take it easy, GOP. Why don't you sit this next one out, stop talking for a while.
2012-08-21 08:41:47 AM
1 votes:

heavymetal: Irving Maimway: Holy fark he really said that.

And again with the "forcible" rape? WTF does that even mean? How can there be variations on rape?? I really don't understand this mindset, unless it's the whole "Well, she was asking for it by the way she was dressed that horrible tramp" theory.

//Don't want to live on this planet anymore.

Pretty much. It seems like they view stuff like statutory rape or where the victim was incapacitated as situations where the victim is at fault. That is pretty sickening. There will be no exceptions for rape in the GOP platform either meaning as a party they agree no matter what their talking heads and candidates say.

You would think that when an official party stance gets explained in non-legalese as it did by Todd Akin and it gains such universal scorn, it might be time to change it. Not the GOP.


They've lost control of their message aka The NarrativeTM. I was listening to NPR last week, and there was a woman on there explaining why there's no liberal Ayn Rand. The reasons are apparent to most of us here probably, but the short version is that conservatives spent decades creating an intricate, reinforced narrative they could use to gain traction. Now that message is a monster and it's stomped off into the village.
2012-08-21 08:38:45 AM
1 votes:

libranoelrose: DjangoStonereaver: [www.islamicinvitationturkey.com image 460x288]

Approves.

/This is what the Tea Party Taliban wants America to become.

Does that guy know that pinky rings are a sign of the homosexuals?


3.bp.blogspot.com  What'd you say?
2012-08-21 07:37:07 AM
1 votes:
The amazing thing is how many of the Republican Party are coming out to defend this guy. Okay, it's Hickabee and the Chick-Fil-A people, but really? Are we at the point in the white male insecurity tour that they're justifying rape now?
2012-08-21 07:11:59 AM
1 votes:

drayno76: [cdn.hometheaterforum.com image 540x408]


It's not our fault they won't shut up about rape.
2012-08-21 07:06:05 AM
1 votes:
Wow, I mean, wow.. the world sure is a better place for having James Robison around. You mean we couldn't have gotten by without another televangelist?
2012-08-21 06:36:44 AM
1 votes:
Yet more proof that Neanderthals did not go extinct.
2012-08-21 06:24:19 AM
1 votes:
i471.photobucket.com

"The first 8 inches were consensual."
2012-08-21 05:36:41 AM
1 votes:
Sure, he might be right. But some extraordinary people have been created by pre-marital sex too, and I don't see the Catholic church changing their opinion on that.
2012-08-21 05:22:39 AM
1 votes:

namatad:
have you EVER watched reality TV? clearly MOST people are this stupid


I'm not saying I disagree with your conclusion, but your data field suffers from double selection bias. Reality TV doesn't want smart people, and smart people don't want to be in reality TV.
2012-08-21 05:14:40 AM
1 votes:
Wait, I guess I wasn't following too closely but, what type of rape is the one that creates the extraordinary people? Is that the forcible type or just the normal one... I gotta know since I plan on having all my children growing up with extraordinary abilities!

-- Professor X
2012-08-21 05:11:23 AM
1 votes:

Kevin72: stoli n coke: Kevin72: phrawgh: Kevin72: SuwonROKs: I love how Libtards bash Republicans for taking things out of context
So then you agree with him that a woman can't get pregnan
What child? If a woman is legitimately raped, she won't get pregnant because the whole onROKs actually believe.

So, if that is true, I have a question.
I'm a believer in mind over manner and the idea that sometimes your mind plays tricks on the body.
In theory, maybe next time, right before the moment of truth, I should put on a ski mask and tell her, "biatch you gonna get raped."
If it works, it could result in thousands of dollars in savings on birth control. If not, I just gave some old clothes to Goodwill, so I have a surplus of wire hangers. Win-win.

Yes, yes, and yes. That's why this scientific breakthrough has been so newsworthy. Yes, legitimate rape is the best birth control. Because legitimate rape shuts the whole system down, so the woman doesn't get pregnant.


Problem is, I'm just not a rapey kind of guy.
But, if I play this on the stereo at the right time, maybe her body will believe it's legit.
2.bp.blogspot.com
2012-08-21 05:03:05 AM
1 votes:
Rape rape.

Also known as Republican Damage Control.
2012-08-21 04:44:49 AM
1 votes:

God-is-a-Taco: stoli n coke:
BTW, Huckster. There is NOTHING Christian about rape. At all.

How do you figure? The bible has all sorts of rules on rape, and most of it punishes the victim more than the rapist.


The victim is punished more than being stoned to death? I get the feeling you heard that from someone rather than looked it up yourself.
2012-08-21 04:43:42 AM
1 votes:

Kevin72: phrawgh: Kevin72: SuwonROKs: I love how Libtards bash Republicans for taking things out of context yet go and do exactly the same thing. He was obviously trying to make a point about abortion but you'll do anything to make a Republican look bad.

/not a Democrat or Republican

So then you agree with him that a woman can't get pregnant when she is legitimately raped.

...and should be FORCED by the government to raise that child.

What child? If a woman is legitimately raped, she won't get pregnant because the whole system shuts down. That's what neither Democrat or Republican like SuwonROKs actually believe.


So, if that is true, I have a question.

I'm a believer in mind over manner and the idea that sometimes your mind plays tricks on the body.

In theory, maybe next time, right before the moment of truth, I should put on a ski mask and tell her, "biatch you gonna get raped."

If it works, it could result in thousands of dollars in savings on birth control. If not, I just gave some old clothes to Goodwill, so I have a surplus of wire hangers. Win-win.
2012-08-21 04:41:24 AM
1 votes:

Kevin72: phrawgh: Kevin72: SuwonROKs: I love how Libtards bash Republicans for taking things out of context yet go and do exactly the same thing. He was obviously trying to make a point about abortion but you'll do anything to make a Republican look bad.

/not a Democrat or Republican

So then you agree with him that a woman can't get pregnant when she is legitimately raped.

...and should be FORCED by the government to raise that child.

What child? If a woman is legitimately raped, she won't get pregnant because the whole system shuts down. That's what neither Democrat or Republican like SuwonROKs actually believe.


This is way too much gubmint intervention.

Let the free market handle the rape bidness.
2012-08-21 04:35:48 AM
1 votes:

People_are_Idiots: Irving Maimway: Holy fark he really said that.

And again with the "forcible" rape? WTF does that even mean? How can there be variations on rape?? I really don't understand this mindset, unless it's the whole "Well, she was asking for it by the way she was dressed that horrible tramp" theory.

//Don't want to live on this planet anymore.

"Forcible" Rape is where a person literally (gunpoint/knifepoint/etc) forces the person to have sex with him/her.

"Drug-induced" Rape is where the person is given something to make it easier to have sex. Sometimes it is called "date rape"

"Statutory" Rape is sex with a minor (consensual or otherwise).


You forgot:

"Child" Rape is sex with a young boy by a conservative coach and/or Catholic priest.
2012-08-21 04:30:01 AM
1 votes:
"You see, what I said was, "If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down." But what I meant to say was, "I am a worthless, moronic sack of shiat and an utterly irredeemable human being who needs to shut up and go away forever." 

Link
2012-08-21 04:29:29 AM
1 votes:
thread is too rapey.
2012-08-21 04:20:52 AM
1 votes:

phrawgh: Kevin72: SuwonROKs: I love how Libtards bash Republicans for taking things out of context yet go and do exactly the same thing. He was obviously trying to make a point about abortion but you'll do anything to make a Republican look bad.

/not a Democrat or Republican

So then you agree with him that a woman can't get pregnant when she is legitimately raped.

...and should be FORCED by the government to raise that child.


But no government aid, because she should have thought of that before she got pregnant.
2012-08-21 04:18:39 AM
1 votes:

pippi longstocking: In a sane country this joker would not be allowed to walk the streets much less run them.


Judging from the looks of him, Huckabee hasn't run anywhere in a very long time. At least, not since the ice cream truck stopped its routes in Little Rock.
2012-08-21 04:17:17 AM
1 votes:

SuwonROKs: I love how Libtards bash Republicans for taking things out of context yet go and do exactly the same thing. He was obviously trying to make a point about abortion but you'll do anything to make a Republican look bad.

/not a Democrat or Republican


So then you agree with him that a woman can't get pregnant when she is legitimately raped.
2012-08-21 04:15:03 AM
1 votes:

Ed Finnerty: Gyrfalcon: These fools actually believe in that old lawyer joke about a woman being able to run faster with her skirt up than a man can with his pants down.

That's crazy. Everyone knows men are more aerodynamic especially with a malicious erection.


What if it's just a negligent erection?
2012-08-21 03:56:35 AM
1 votes:
You know who was a product of consensual sex? That's right. It was Jimmy Carter!
2012-08-21 03:51:55 AM
1 votes:
There was a correct way to handle this. Surprisingly, the GOP took that option. Mike Huckabee said fark that shiat and barreled through the warning signs right off a cliff before exploding in a spectacular display of WTF.
2012-08-21 03:50:51 AM
1 votes:

dletter: On another note though, what this all is, from all of them saying this stupid shiat, is to defend banning abortions in ALL circumstances....

even if they were raped.....

even if it was incest......

even if they were 12 years old.....

gotta have the baby.


Pretty much. Live babies to turn into dead soldiers, as Carlin put it.

BTW, Huckster. There is NOTHING Christian about rape. At all. I know you got a book sale boost by convincing people that eating some overpriced chicken made them somehow more Christ-like, but the fact that you are actually seeking to find a silver lining for one of the cruelest things a human being can do to another human being is beyond sickening. And it's all in the interest of boosting your political team, not your God.

That's like walking up to someone who was beaten and crippled, and telling them at least they get the best parking spots now.

You are a snake oil salesman hiding behind a Bible. You've turned the elephant into your golden calf.
Hopefully, the horrible act you're now lamenting the brighter side of never happens to someone you care about. You wouldn't want to choke down the shiat you just spewed out.
2012-08-21 03:50:15 AM
1 votes:

Hetfield: We gave women the right to vote, and they still complain? Stay classy, women.


The very idea of "equality of the sexes" is silly. Have you EVER known a woman who was happy with what she had?
2012-08-21 03:49:52 AM
1 votes:
*Facepalm*
The Republican party is as dumb as as....well...as they are.
2012-08-21 03:48:33 AM
1 votes:
We gave women the right to vote, and they still complain? Stay classy, women.
2012-08-21 03:48:06 AM
1 votes:

SuwonROKs: I love how Libtards bash Republicans for taking things out of context yet go and do exactly the same thing. He was obviously trying to make a point about abortion


And that point would be what, exactly?
2012-08-21 03:47:25 AM
1 votes:

Irving Maimway: How can there be variations on rape??


Well let's see... you've got rape, "rape", rape-rape, legitimate rape, "legitimate" rape and 2legit2quit rape.

To name just a few.
2012-08-21 03:46:29 AM
1 votes:
content6.flixster.com 

MANDY: Well, Brian,... your father isn't Mr. Cohen.

BRIAN: I never thought he was.

MANDY: Now, none of your cheek! He was a Roman, Brian. He was a centurion in the Roman army.

BRIAN: You mean... you were raped?

MANDY: Well, at first, yes.

BRIAN: Who was it?

MANDY: Heh. Nortius Maximus his name was. Hmm. Promised me the known world he did. I was to be taken to Rome, House by the Forum. Slaves. Asses' milk. As much gold as I could eat. Then, he, having his way with me had... voom! Like a rat out of an aqueduct.

BRIAN: The bastard!

MANDY: Yeah. So, next time you go on about the 'bloody Romans', don't forget you're one of them.

BRIAN: I'm not a Roman, Mum, and I never will be! I'm a Kike! A Yid! A Hebe! A Hook-nose! I'm Kosher, Mum! I'm a Red Sea Pedestrian, and proud of it! [slam]

MANDY: Huh. Sex, sex, sex Rape, Rape, Rape, Legitimate Rape, Forcible Rape. That's all they think about, huh?
2012-08-21 03:42:00 AM
1 votes:

SuwonROKs: I love how Libtards bash Republicans for taking things out of context yet go and do exactly the same thing. He was obviously trying to make a point about abortion but you'll do anything to make a Republican look bad.

/not a Democrat or Republican


both are bad, vote democrat!!
2012-08-21 03:39:45 AM
1 votes:
It's almost like the Republican Party is trying to do that suck for luck thing, where you fail so miserably this season you get first round draft picks next season.

Except they fail to realize that congressmen aren't just handed out in a draft.
2012-08-21 03:37:58 AM
1 votes:

SuwonROKs: I love how Libtards bash Republicans for taking things out of context yet go and do exactly the same thing. He was obviously trying to make a point about abortion but you'll do anything to make a Republican look bad.

/not a Democrat or Republican


Vote Democlican.
2012-08-21 03:31:26 AM
1 votes:
4.bp.blogspot.com

I can take the "forcible" out of that rape!
2012-08-21 03:26:22 AM
1 votes:
Dear Mr. Huckabee,

Suck my farking arse. No, seriously. Get down on your farking knees and suck my farking arse. I recently ate some questionable shrimp with habanero sauce and my schitt is fiery rancid. You should eat it up, because it might just boost the intelligence that your schitt-filled brain supposedly has. And when you are done sucking my arse you can go blow your god-damned brains out. Obviously your brains are nothing but schitt so you have nothing to lose.

Disrespectfully Yours,
An farking bastard.
2012-08-21 03:25:17 AM
1 votes:
"In fact, it is consensual sex that produced such monsters as Hitler, Stalin, and Jimmy Carter. Unless of course they were one of those few cases of legitimate rape where the woman's body didn't function correctly. However, the odds are slim. So let me ask you, would you rather take your chances with consensual sex, which has such a sordid track record, or forcible rape that produced these two fine Americans?"

22 replies to MauryCompson
[Gazvoda]
Gazvoda 6 hours ago
We could make such beautiful forcible-rape-babies together, you and I. Call me.

1 reply to Gazvoda
[MissNormaDesmond]
MissNormaDesmond 5 hours ago
You know, one bright spot in all this is that we're learning that almost everyone in America can make a funnier rape joke than Daniel Tosh.

3 replies to MissNormaDesmond
[offcolfax]
offcolfax 4 hours ago

"You know, one bright spot in all this is that we're learning that almost everyone in America can make a funnier joke than Daniel Tosh."

FTFY



Heh heh heh.
2012-08-21 02:09:51 AM
1 votes:
images.wikia.com
2012-08-21 01:29:00 AM
1 votes:

Weaver95: Benevolent Misanthrope: Weaver95: you'd figure that by now the GOP would have sent out some sort of mass email to everyone everywhere that said something along the lines of 'SHUT UP AND STOP TALKING!'

It's part of the general anti-intellectualism and proud ignorance of the GOP. They don't want to be reasonable. They want to double down on that shiat.

they really cannot possibly be this f*cking stupid. nobody can be this f*cking stupid.


have you EVER watched reality TV? clearly MOST people are this stupid
2012-08-21 01:24:05 AM
1 votes:

namatad:
if there is ANY good that has come out of this insanity, it is that rape is in the news FRONT AND CENTER getting the attention which it needs.


well, that and the fact that we're actually watching members of the Republican party stand up and defend rape. Now if we can just get them to defend waterboarding at the same time, we can close the circle.
2012-08-21 01:22:13 AM
1 votes:

Ambivalence: That's giving them way too much credit. I thinkt hey're TRYING to make the distinction from date rape or "woman passed out and didn't give consent" rape which isn't REALLY rape just boys being boys.


AKA, how most of their sex with their wives happen
2012-08-21 01:21:06 AM
1 votes:

WorldCitizen: I don't want to any way defend these farkers, but I think they are "trying" to make the distinction from statutory rape.


statutory rape - not rape at all - just a dad's property being soiled
rape rape - clear cut assault - other than the rapist saying it wasnt him or she was asking for it, or she is lying now ...
date rape - dont get me started on the NIGHTMARE which is she said yes yes yes no yes yes yes yes yes yes yes and then I got arrested.

sucks, but in the end, date rape should always be reported and invested exactly the same as rape rape. the nightmare for the poor victim is that 99% of the time it is she said, he said and there is no way to prove otherwise. sigh (I know so many women who were date raped and there is nothing which they can do ... nothing ...)

we really need a 95% accurate lie detector. of course we would have to have them surgically attached to all public officials ....

jesus wept
if there is ANY good that has come out of this insanity, it is that rape is in the news FRONT AND CENTER getting the attention which it needs.
2012-08-21 12:30:57 AM
1 votes:

Weaver95: you'd figure that by now the GOP would have sent out some sort of mass email to everyone everywhere that said something along the lines of 'SHUT UP AND STOP TALKING!'


Its all part of the new GOP pro-rape platform.
2012-08-21 12:28:21 AM
1 votes:

abb3w: So, admitting your degree of understanding might get you disbarred?


Please. You think a lawyer who routinely offers his clients contingency contracts doesn't know the meaning of rape?
2012-08-21 12:28:11 AM
1 votes:

GAT_00: I don't think Mary wanted to be pregnant.


...er, God allegedly did get consent.
(Granted, it's not clear there was much choice on the consent.)
2012-08-20 11:40:18 PM
1 votes:

gilgigamesh: But I can't say I know the difference.


So, admitting your degree of understanding might get you disbarred?

SilentStrider: Maybe their servers got hacked.


Maybe Huckabee isn't technologically literate enough to read email.
2012-08-20 11:25:57 PM
1 votes:

Weaver95: you'd figure that by now the GOP would have sent out some sort of mass email to everyone everywhere that said something along the lines of 'SHUT UP AND STOP TALKING!'


Maybe their servers got hacked.
2012-08-20 11:07:33 PM
1 votes:
Why is this so hard for these dumb-fark Republicans to understand? There's only one syllable in the word rape, and usually, it takes at least two to trip up these mouth-breathing retards. The concept of "forcible" rape exists only to demonstrate to the planet that you are a very stupid person who deserves to be mocked without mercy.

Let's make it easy for the Republican retards out there:

Did someone have sex with you against your will or consent?

If the answer is no, you've not been raped.

If the answer is yes, then congratulations! You've been raped.


Now, let's move on to the whole notion that someone can have an illegitimate baby from a "legitimate" rape.
 
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