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(My Fox Houston)   Roger Clemens is set to come out of retirement and pitch for the Atlantic League Sugar Land Skeeters. Well that ought to create a buzz   (myfoxhouston.com) divider line 36
    More: Spiffy, Roger Clemens  
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453 clicks; posted to Sports » on 20 Aug 2012 at 5:45 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-20 02:23:15 PM
What I don't understand is how the Atlantic League had always been Northeast-focused, but all of a sudden they decide to put a team in Texas. Unless there are expansion plans that I'm not aware of. Isn't the expense of flying sort of an issue for teams in a league like that?

In any case, Clemens is one of the very, very few athletes that I actually hate personally. So I hope he gets his ass handed to him by a bunch of independent-league hitters.
 
2012-08-20 02:23:16 PM
He must really like to play baseball.
 
2012-08-20 02:27:26 PM
Someone needs to start an All-Drug Baseball League where anything goes.

I want to see 175mph fastballs and 1,500-foot-homers.

I want to see someone swinging extra-hard have his entire skeleton turn to powder and roid-rage-fueled bench-clearing brawls.

I want games where the guy who fought Snake Plissken with a nail-studded bat says "I'm going to learn to fix refrigerators instead."
 
2012-08-20 02:28:20 PM
Maybe he's just . . . needling us.
 
2012-08-20 02:50:19 PM
He's the Kenny Powers of baseball.
 
2012-08-20 03:13:44 PM

The_Sponge: He's the Kenny Powers of baseball.


i149.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-20 03:13:47 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Someone needs to start an All-Drug Baseball League where anything goes.

I want to see 175mph fastballs and 1,500-foot-homers.

I want to see someone swinging extra-hard have his entire skeleton turn to powder and roid-rage-fueled bench-clearing brawls.

I want games where the guy who fought Snake Plissken with a nail-studded bat says "I'm going to learn to fix refrigerators instead."


Thank you. That has to be the funniest thing I've read on Fark in several years.
 
2012-08-20 03:28:27 PM
I for one am happy that he has been cleared and look forward to seeing him getting called up by the Yankees again.
 
2012-08-20 05:20:37 PM

FreakinB: What I don't understand is how the Atlantic League had always been Northeast-focused, but all of a sudden they decide to put a team in Texas. Unless there are expansion plans that I'm not aware of. Isn't the expense of flying sort of an issue for teams in a league like that?

In any case, Clemens is one of the very, very few athletes that I actually hate personally. So I hope he gets his ass handed to him by a bunch of independent-league hitters.


Technically Texas borders the Atlantic Ocean.
 
2012-08-20 05:21:12 PM

FreakinB: What I don't understand is how the Atlantic League had always been Northeast-focused, but all of a sudden they decide to put a team in Texas. Unless there are expansion plans that I'm not aware of. Isn't the expense of flying sort of an issue for teams in a league like that?


Technically Texas borders the Atlantic Ocean.
 
2012-08-20 05:31:10 PM

jaylectricity: FreakinB: What I don't understand is how the Atlantic League had always been Northeast-focused, but all of a sudden they decide to put a team in Texas. Unless there are expansion plans that I'm not aware of. Isn't the expense of flying sort of an issue for teams in a league like that?

Technically Texas borders the Atlantic Ocean.



Wiki, the first link there, says it "borders" the ocean.  Therefore not part of it.
 
2012-08-20 05:46:25 PM

jaylectricity: FreakinB: What I don't understand is how the Atlantic League had always been Northeast-focused, but all of a sudden they decide to put a team in Texas. Unless there are expansion plans that I'm not aware of. Isn't the expense of flying sort of an issue for teams in a league like that?

In any case, Clemens is one of the very, very few athletes that I actually hate personally. So I hope he gets his ass handed to him by a bunch of independent-league hitters.

Technically Texas borders the Atlantic Ocean.


I wasn't talking in terms of the league name. I was talking purely in terms of distance and travel expenses.
 
2012-08-20 05:48:40 PM

FreakinB: What I don't understand is how the Atlantic League had always been Northeast-focused, but all of a sudden they decide to put a team in Texas. Unless there are expansion plans that I'm not aware of. Isn't the expense of flying sort of an issue for teams in a league like that?

In any case, Clemens is one of the very, very few athletes that I actually hate personally. So I hope he gets his ass handed to him by a bunch of independent-league hitters.


His 87 mph fastball will surely strike terror into the hearts of the batters opposing him (and yes, that was the recorded speed of his fastball his first time back on the mound for his new team in a simulated game).
 
2012-08-20 05:52:48 PM

FreakinB: I wasn't talking in terms of the league name. I was talking purely in terms of distance and travel expenses.


Louisiana Tech frowns upon this logic
 
2012-08-20 06:01:12 PM
Out of cash is he?
 
2012-08-20 06:01:51 PM
i.ytimg.com
"Skeeters" Really?
 
2012-08-20 06:03:08 PM
whats the ped testing like in the independant leagues?
 
2012-08-20 06:04:19 PM
 
2012-08-20 06:06:22 PM
Ha, I'll be there Saturday night to watch this. Hell with him and Jason Lane, all it would take is to pull Biggio and Bagwell out of retirement as well and get the whole 2005 band back together.
 
2012-08-20 06:06:51 PM
I can't wait for the Skeeters to have their "Roger Clemens Bobble Butt Night".
 
2012-08-20 06:11:24 PM
ClavellBCMI: His 87 mph fastball will surely strike terror into the hearts of the batters opposing him (and yes, that was the recorded speed of his fastball his first time back on the mound for his new team in a simulated game).

It's the Atlantic Coast League. It might.
 
2012-08-20 06:16:07 PM
fark the asshat.
 
2012-08-20 06:16:07 PM

UNC_Samurai: "Skeeters" Really?


I guess white people still haven't figured out what it means.
 
das
2012-08-20 07:00:10 PM

flucto: Someone needs to start an All-Drug Baseball League where anything goes.

I want to see 175mph fastballs and 1,500-foot-homers.

I want to see someone swinging extra-hard have his entire skeleton turn to powder and roid-rage-fueled bench-clearing brawls.

I want games where the guy who fought Snake Plissken with a nail-studded bat says "I'm going to learn to fix refrigerators instead."


I am soooo stealing this!!!!!
 
2012-08-20 07:14:48 PM
I'm more shocked to see Scott Kazmir there
 
2012-08-20 08:38:18 PM

TheJoe03: UNC_Samurai: "Skeeters" Really?

I guess white people still haven't figured out what it means.


C'mon. You're from Texas. You know what it means. Stand in my backyard for 5 minutes if you don't.

/non CSB ... I can see the fireworks from the Skeeters games from my backyard. Who doesn't love free fireworks?
 
2012-08-20 09:42:41 PM

devilskware: C'mon. You're from Texas. You know what it means. Stand in my backyard for 5 minutes if you don't.


I think he's referring to "skeeters" when used as a term to describe when a woman's breasts are no bigger than "skeeter bites".

But I don't see what being white has to do with it, as I'm pretty sure that's pretty common.
 
2012-08-20 10:59:23 PM
 
2012-08-21 12:06:18 AM
i35.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-21 10:20:06 AM
i.imgur.com

That's some expensive skeet.
 
2012-08-21 12:03:03 PM

Slow To Return: I think he's referring to "skeeters" when used as a term to describe when a woman's breasts are no bigger than "skeeter bites".

But I don't see what being white has to do with it, as I'm pretty sure that's pretty common.


LOL, white people really don't know what it means still. It means ejaculate. There's an old Lil Jon song that went "ah skeet skeet skeet" and they played it on the radio, leading Dave Chappelle to proclaim that white people wouldn't let that happen if they knew the slang.
 
2012-08-21 12:53:43 PM

TheJoe03: Slow To Return: I think he's referring to "skeeters" when used as a term to describe when a woman's breasts are no bigger than "skeeter bites".

But I don't see what being white has to do with it, as I'm pretty sure that's pretty common.

LOL, white people really don't know what it means still. It means ejaculate. There's an old Lil Jon song that went "ah skeet skeet skeet" and they played it on the radio, leading Dave Chappelle to proclaim that white people wouldn't let that happen if they knew the slang.


How did you go from "skeeters" to "skeet"?
 
2012-08-21 12:57:08 PM

Slow To Return: How did you go from "skeeters" to "skeet"?


Are you kidding? Anyways, you did notice my OP was in response to someone that posted a picture of Dave Chappelle, right? Not that complicated, just making a pretty obvious joke for anyone under the age of 35.
 
2012-08-21 01:05:31 PM

TheJoe03: Slow To Return: How did you go from "skeeters" to "skeet"?

Are you kidding? Anyways, you did notice my OP was in response to someone that posted a picture of Dave Chappelle, right? Not that complicated, just making a pretty obvious joke for anyone under the age of 35.


If skeeting is a problem, would a USC Trojan help?

And while we're on the topic of bodily fluids, how about that Crimson Tide??
 
2012-08-21 01:07:26 PM
Both hilarious names for sports teams.
 
2012-08-22 02:07:15 AM
A theory being floated out there is that he wants to postpone his Hall of Fame vote for another 5 years. If he can throw a few pitches, maybe pitch a couple innings for the horrible Astros, he'll reset the countdown timer.
 
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