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(Big 1059)   Shia says his sex scenes in his new movie "Nymphomaniac" are real. LaBarf   (big1059.com) divider line 84
    More: Sick, Shia Labeouf, Shia, Stellan Skarsgard, von Trier, Sex in film, Charlotte Gainsbourg, even steven, MTV News  
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8335 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 20 Aug 2012 at 3:29 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



84 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-08-20 12:24:56 PM
He was probably thinking about his mom the whole time too
 
2012-08-20 12:35:44 PM
There is no God.
 
2012-08-20 12:45:32 PM
Good for him. I mean, he still a horrible actor, but good for him.
 
2012-08-20 12:47:47 PM
I hope while filming, his "partner" gives him the "filming Transformers" experience. Repeatedly, hopefully with long sharp nails, and without any lube.
 
2012-08-20 12:48:17 PM
I've seen him naked. He looks quite disgusting these days. All greasy and sh*t.
 
2012-08-20 12:48:23 PM
www.ericdatz.com

Not impressed.

Every few years, some publicist has the bright idea to promote a mainstream movie with the false
claim that the sex wasn't simulated.
 
2012-08-20 12:55:20 PM
Why would an actor even do this? They might as well go into porn.
 
2012-08-20 12:56:26 PM
Of course, Von Trier always does it Dogme style.
 
2012-08-20 01:17:10 PM
FTFA: Everything that is illegal, we'll shoot in blurred images. Other than that, everything is happening.



So, when Shia bones a sheep, they'll film it with the same lenses they use for Barbara Walters?
 
2012-08-20 01:17:49 PM
cdn.smosh.com
 
2012-08-20 01:18:25 PM
how about no.
 
2012-08-20 02:10:51 PM
Who plays the title character?
 
2012-08-20 02:12:53 PM
image.xyface.com
 
2012-08-20 02:17:22 PM
Said Co-star:

kom.net
 
2012-08-20 02:53:34 PM
Which basically means they'll be using doubles for LaBouf and his co-star...similar to Antichrist (which had a hardcore scene but used body doubles for Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg. So he's not getting any....
 
2012-08-20 03:10:40 PM
Shortest. Film. Ever.
 
2012-08-20 03:16:04 PM
Chloe S..... please report to this thread..
 
2012-08-20 03:35:10 PM

Timmy the Tumor: FTFA: Everything that is illegal, we'll shoot in blurred images. Other than that, everything is happening.



So, when Shia bones a sheep, they'll film it with the same lenses they use for Barbara Walters?


What if he bones Barbara Walters?

//dark lens... please...
 
2012-08-20 03:35:48 PM
Whats the point of a three minute film?
 
2012-08-20 03:40:37 PM
If he's sporting that mullet while doing it I'll just crank up White Snake during those scenes.
 
2012-08-20 03:41:25 PM
Why is it such a big deal if we see him fark in the movies?

We've already seen him suck in the movies. Is it really that big of a leap?

/rimshot
//rimjob
///brando
 
2012-08-20 03:43:56 PM
Will his trademark acting line of ," no,no,no,no,no" be changed to "yes,yes,yes" for this role?
 
2012-08-20 03:45:59 PM
Yeah, well, he also claims to have hooked up with Megan Fox on the set of one of the Transformers movies. Then he went and denounced Indy 4 (not that it was particularly good, but you still don't do that. Unless we're talking Leonard pt 6. And even then, that was Bill Cosby. He'd been acting/writing/doing stand-up for about 20 years by that point), so I wouldn't necessarily believe every word that drips from his mouth. Besides, I doubt either Nicole Kidman or Charlotte Gainsbourg would actually let him penetrate. Thinking Keith Urban would most likely cave his head in.
 
2012-08-20 03:46:13 PM

From the sidebar of the article: today is Demi Lovato's birthday. So let's all look at her ass. Whether from the front, side or back, it's worth a peek.

i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com 
 
2012-08-20 03:46:32 PM
Which,of course,will earn him the indie cred he so richly deserves,right?


Begone,foul marionette.
 
2012-08-20 03:48:06 PM
Do you suppose the director told him the sex scene is with another man?
 
2012-08-20 03:48:40 PM

Walker: I've seen him naked. He looks quite disgusting these days. All greasy and sh*t.


Get that greaser!
 
2012-08-20 03:48:55 PM
assets.nydailynews.com
Looks like his girlfriend took the news well.

TrainingWheelsNeeded: Will his trademark acting line of ," no,no,no,no,no" be changed to "yes,yes,yes" for this role?


Girl: "No, no, no, no...."
Shia: "Stop stealing my lines! That's not even in this part of the script!"
 
2012-08-20 03:49:53 PM
LaBoof, amirite?
 
2012-08-20 03:53:36 PM
As long as Skarsgard tops Shia in an artistic filmed way, it should be okay. Maybe add in some tastefully depicted genital mutilation.
 
2012-08-20 03:55:27 PM

farkingismybusiness: [assets.nydailynews.com image 635x390]
Looks like his girlfriend took the news well.

TrainingWheelsNeeded: Will his trademark acting line of ," no,no,no,no,no" be changed to "yes,yes,yes" for this role?

Girl: "No, no, no, no...."
Shia: "Stop stealing my lines! That's not even in this part of the script!"


The fark happened there? Did his dog just die?
 
2012-08-20 03:55:57 PM
Hopefully the nymphomaniac has vagina dentata. Only then will justice finally be served for Shia's role in all the Transformers movies.

Michael Bay..... you're next
 
2012-08-20 03:57:35 PM
"Is it gonna be called 9 and half seconds?..........you know, 'cause he's a premature ejaculator"
 
2012-08-20 04:00:36 PM

Killer Cars: "Is it gonna be called 9 and half seconds?..........you know, 'cause he's a premature ejaculator"


Quite possibly the best thing ever.
 
2012-08-20 04:01:16 PM

farkingismybusiness: [assets.nydailynews.com image 635x390]
Looks like his girlfriend took the news well.

TrainingWheelsNeeded: Will his trademark acting line of ," no,no,no,no,no" be changed to "yes,yes,yes" for this role?

Girl: "No, no, no, no...."
Shia: "Stop stealing my lines! That's not even in this part of the script!"


Nice cut off jorts. He's thrifty IRL I bet. If he gets a hole in his jeans he knows to do a cut off, and bam! you got yourself a nice pair of jorts.
 
2012-08-20 04:02:30 PM
"For instance, there's a disclaimer at the top of the script that basically says we're doing it for real. Everything that is illegal, we'll shoot in blurred images. Other than that, everything is happening."

Uh, is he still talking about sex? Does Shia know that sex is, you know... legal?
 
2012-08-20 04:03:53 PM
Lars von Trier did Antichrist with Charlotte Gainsbourg and it is very explicit so it is not impossible.
 
2012-08-20 04:08:08 PM

slayer199: Which basically means they'll be using doubles for LaBouf and his co-star...similar to Antichrist (which had a hardcore scene but used body doubles for Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg. So he's not getting any....


Oops I was beaten to it. You are right that they did use body doubles.
 
2012-08-20 04:11:13 PM

eas81: Said Co-star:

[kom.net image 332x500]


She looks like a female Shia LeBeouf
 
2012-08-20 04:16:19 PM
i just love Charlotte Gainsbourg
 
2012-08-20 04:19:29 PM

E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: i just love Charlotte Gainsbourg


Never heard of her before. A quick GIS makes her look like an attractive Patti Smith.
 
2012-08-20 04:28:15 PM

farkingismybusiness: [assets.nydailynews.com image 635x390]
Looks like his girlfriend took the news well.

TrainingWheelsNeeded: Will his trademark acting line of ," no,no,no,no,no" be changed to "yes,yes,yes" for this role?

Girl: "No, no, no, no...."
Shia: "Stop stealing my lines! That's not even in this part of the script!"


He looks almost Tom Cruiseian height-wise in those pics.

Or is his girlfriend one of the Asian country's women volleyball players from the Olympics?
 
2012-08-20 04:35:38 PM
In the past this has been career poison in Hollywood. One can only hope Shia can't find work for awhile after it comes out.
 
2012-08-20 04:42:11 PM
It's a perfect opportunity for a scene where a french woman is unimpressed with his performance in bed and asks him "où est le boeuf?"
 
2012-08-20 04:46:43 PM
can't wait to see it. I love the editing style of Lars Von Trier films. and Shia is an entertaining actor.
 
2012-08-20 04:48:37 PM
Lars hasn't told him that he's using the Aaron Sorkin trick of copy pasta from his old scripts to his new ones and instead of Charlotte Gainsbourg smashing a silicone muppet of some porn star's twig and berries like she did in AntiChrist they'll be using his genitalia and letting him ejaculate blood. It's sex if someone's ejaculating, right?

And then good luck in his new career with the Vienna Boy's Choir.
 
2012-08-20 04:50:55 PM

Carth: In the past this has been career poison in Hollywood. One can only hope Shia can't find work for awhile after it comes out.


He has recently stated he wants nothing more to do with Hollywood. He will only act in independent projects like this from now on.
 
2012-08-20 04:54:03 PM

devilEther: Carth: In the past this has been career poison in Hollywood. One can only hope Shia can't find work for awhile after it comes out.

He has recently stated he wants nothing more to do with Hollywood. He will only act in independent projects like this from now on.


Which is a nice way of saying "they determined that my appeal in hollywood is diminished. So rather than admit that I'm a shiat actor who can't find much work outside of Michael Bay movies, I'm going to claim I only want to do indie projects now!"
 
2012-08-20 04:56:26 PM
Aren't there better ways to troll for pussy? I mean his name is known. He could go to a bar or something and clean up.
 
2012-08-20 04:59:31 PM

devilEther: Carth: In the past this has been career poison in Hollywood. One can only hope Shia can't find work for awhile after it comes out.

He has recently stated he wants nothing more to do with Hollywood. He will only act in independent projects like this from now on.


Really? That is great news! He must have convinced himself he is the next Leonardo DiCaprio.
 
2012-08-20 05:00:53 PM

DjangoStonereaver:

Every few years, some publicist has the bright idea to promote a mainstream movie with the false
claim that the sex wasn't simulated.


It's Lars von Trier, it isn't simulated.
 
2012-08-20 05:53:46 PM

farkingismybusiness: [assets.nydailynews.com image 635x390]
Looks like his girlfriend took the news well.

TrainingWheelsNeeded: Will his trademark acting line of ," no,no,no,no,no" be changed to "yes,yes,yes" for this role?

Girl: "No, no, no, no...."
Shia: "Stop stealing my lines! That's not even in this part of the script!"


He looks like Scott Stapp in those pics.
 
2012-08-20 05:55:42 PM
Seriously, who did this guy blow? Why are we being subjected to so much Shia. There are infinitely hotter and more talented leading men not getting near enough play.

Maybe he's got some massive dirt on someone big. That's obviously how Leno does it.
 
2012-08-20 05:56:29 PM
Eh, I'd hit it.

As an aside, I really hope they film it in Japan.
 
2012-08-20 06:06:27 PM
Maybe next movie he can film a death scene.
 
2012-08-20 06:10:18 PM
Somehow I am picturing Shia getting nailed in the ass by this guy...

www.tekyu.com
 
2012-08-20 06:24:00 PM
That's funny, when I saw Transformers and Crystal Skull I felt like Hollywood was farking me up the ass for real.
 
2012-08-20 06:37:30 PM

MrEricSir: That's funny, when I saw Transformers and Crystal Skull I felt like Hollywood was farking me up the ass for real.


You posting about it makes it sound like you enjoyed it. A lot.
 
2012-08-20 06:50:09 PM
i486.photobucket.com
"But you pwomis dick would be bigga den Asian boy's! You PWOMIS!"
 
2012-08-20 06:54:58 PM
Is Kristen Steward playing his romantic interest? I think she could pull off a corpse pretty well.
 
2012-08-20 07:11:41 PM

limboslam: [i486.photobucket.com image 635x390]
"But you pwomis dick would be bigga den Asian boy's! You PWOMIS!"


LOL. She's been with him for a couple of years, though.

/Yes, I read the Daily Mail-- *sob*--- daily.
//Also, dat's racist.
 
2012-08-20 07:26:39 PM
I liked the first movie he was in, the one that won Project Greenlight. I can't remember the name, he was young and I thought he was a really good actor. Haven't cared for much of his work since then, and I know it's become incredibly trendy to hate on him, but nevertheless I was totally surprised when I figured out that was him in the Sigur Rós video.

I'm going to link it. He's naked in it. So it's obviously NSFW, unless you're making porn. But then you probably wouldn't be reading FARK. Here ya go: Sigur Rós - Fjögur píanó
 
2012-08-20 07:27:38 PM
His film credits include "Holes,"

So he's had some preparation?

/I know, I know.
 
2012-08-20 07:45:33 PM

Blowmonkey: I liked the first movie he was in, the one that won Project Greenlight. I can't remember the name, he was young and I thought he was a really good actor. Haven't cared for much of his work since then, and I know it's become incredibly trendy to hate on him, but nevertheless I was totally surprised when I figured out that was him in the Sigur Rós video.

I'm going to link it. He's naked in it. So it's obviously NSFW, unless you're making porn. But then you probably wouldn't be reading FARK. Here ya go: Sigur Rós - Fjögur píanó


So this is Holes 2: Electric Boogaloo?
 
2012-08-20 07:52:24 PM
Remember kids, you can be anything you want to be in this country, even the star of Transformers, just make sure you fall out of the right vagina.
 
2012-08-20 08:09:20 PM
First Sigur Ros casts Shia in their new music video
Then I find out that Cronenberg's new movie is starring Robert Pattinson
Then Lars von Trier casts Shia in his new movie



What's with this new trend of talented artists casting annoying teen hearthrobs in their projects?
 
2012-08-20 08:52:38 PM
Am I the only one who finds sex scenes in 90% of films hideously awkward?

//For this argument, I am assuming that porno comprises 10% of all films.
 
2012-08-20 09:07:32 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com
www.hotflick.net

his "O" faces
 
2012-08-20 09:29:17 PM

wiredmaverick: First Sigur Ros casts Shia in their new music video
Then I find out that Cronenberg's new movie is starring Robert Pattinson
Then Lars von Trier casts Shia in his new movie



What's with this new trend of talented artists casting annoying teen hearthrobs in their projects?


Tell me about it. Nickleback hired Jason Alexander for their new video.
 
2012-08-20 09:44:17 PM
assets.nydailynews.com

"Whar stunt cock, whar?" 
 
2012-08-20 09:49:10 PM
Not to rain on the Shia hate fest but...

Maniac

He directed this short film and it's actually pretty cool. He's an atrocious actor, but might have a career directing or producing in his future.
 
2012-08-20 09:53:04 PM

MonkeyAngst: "For instance, there's a disclaimer at the top of the script that basically says we're doing it for real. Everything that is illegal, we'll shoot in blurred images. Other than that, everything is happening."

Uh, is he still talking about sex? Does Shia know that sex is, you know... legal?


Maybe it's Japanese style porn pixelation.

/So I'm told
 
2012-08-20 09:53:19 PM

assets.nydailynews.com


I no faht, YOU FAHT!
 
2012-08-20 10:13:38 PM
I guess I am old and completely out of touch. Whenever I read this guy's name, I have trouble remembering it's a "he." Second, I think of the "french" in Monty Python and the Holy Grail:
"Shia le Bouf"

"eh?"

"Shia le Bouf"

/may not be an exact quote
 
2012-08-21 12:42:28 AM
Melancholia was a great movie. That is all.
 
2012-08-21 01:47:08 AM
I'm really upset he swore off big budget movies from now on. My dream is for him to play Han Solo (or Luke, but I think Han Solo is more trolltastic) in Star Wars Reboot 2020 directed by Michael Bay. Can you imagine the threads on that? Oh man
 
2012-08-21 01:55:26 AM

Wellon Dowd: From the sidebar of the article: today is Demi Lovato's birthday. So let's all look at her ass. Whether from the front, side or back, it's worth a peek.

[i.imgur.com image 800x1097]
[i.imgur.com image 150x594]
[i.imgur.com image 800x1162]


I know im supposed to be looking at her ass but WTF IS GROWING ON THAT PERSONS FOOT IN THE LAST PIC????

Is that foot growing mold? WTF IS THAT!!!
 
2012-08-21 02:05:12 AM

Wellon Dowd: From the sidebar of the article: today is Demi Lovato's birthday. So let's all look at her ass. Whether from the front, side or back, it's worth a peek.

[i.imgur.com image 800x1097]
[i.imgur.com image 150x594]
[i.imgur.com image 800x1162]


I don't think Betty White's ass sagged as much.

/she's the female Chris Brown
 
2012-08-21 02:14:37 AM

mikefinch: Wellon Dowd: From the sidebar of the article: today is Demi Lovato's birthday. So let's all look at her ass. Whether from the front, side or back, it's worth a peek.

[i.imgur.com image 800x1097]
[i.imgur.com image 150x594]
[i.imgur.com image 800x1162]

I know im supposed to be looking at her ass but WTF IS GROWING ON THAT PERSONS FOOT IN THE LAST PIC????

Is that foot growing mold? WTF IS THAT!!!


That's sand chief. Looks like they're at the beach.
 
2012-08-21 08:22:19 AM

Hollie Maea: Melancholia was a great movie. That is all.


Different strokes and all, but the only part of that movie that grabbed my attention was the ridiculously nekkid Kirsten Dunst
 
2012-08-21 09:44:08 AM
He also claims to have smacked around Tom Hardy

www.fitzness.com
www.fitzness.com

Seems legit
 
2012-08-21 10:38:33 AM
Ha ha haaaa! "LaBarf" OMG, for some reason, that is cracking me up! Too funny.
 
2012-08-21 11:38:22 AM
megalynn44


Seriously, who did this guy blow?

cdn.screenrant.com
Asked and answered.
 
2012-08-21 01:43:53 PM
assets.nydailynews.com
...After seeing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull for the first time.
 
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