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(Deadspin)   Melky Cabrera cooked up a phony website and fake supplement product in an attempt to appeal his suspension for PEDs. You may be shocked to find out that it didn't work   (deadspin.com) divider line 66
    More: Dumbass, Melky Cabrera, Miguel Cabrera, PEDs, suspensions, Jeff Novitzky, appeal  
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2396 clicks; posted to Sports » on 19 Aug 2012 at 2:07 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-19 11:00:50 AM  
That's pretty stupid even by an offensive linesmans standards.
 
2012-08-19 11:44:35 AM  
Not defending him, but I doubt it was all his idea. Either way, he's done as a Giant.
/go Giants
 
2012-08-19 12:56:56 PM  
That takes a stunning lack of gray matter. Damn. I should stop being amazed by the lengths people will go to in order to conceal bad behavior, but that's absurdly hysterical.
 
2012-08-19 01:20:33 PM  
on behalf of all Giants fans, I'd just like to say...

i2.listal.com

and don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.
 
2012-08-19 02:10:35 PM  
Melky Cabrera created Bleacher Report?
 
2012-08-19 02:12:13 PM  

johnnylarue: Melky Cabrera created Bleacher Report?


Nice.

So . . . . . should the Giants be forced to forfeit the games Cabrera played in this season, given the fact that he was cheating?

/anything to keep my Rockies out of the cellar
 
2012-08-19 02:16:58 PM  

AliceBToklasLives: So . . . . . should the Giants be forced to forfeit the games Cabrera played in this season, given the fact that he was cheating?

/anything to keep my Rockies out of the cellar


That should happen right after Roger Maris and Hank Aaron have their records rightfully restored and the Red Sox are stripped of the 2004 and 2008 World Series titles.
 
2012-08-19 02:22:15 PM  

PowerSlacker: AliceBToklasLives: So . . . . . should the Giants be forced to forfeit the games Cabrera played in this season, given the fact that he was cheating?

/anything to keep my Rockies out of the cellar

That should happen right after Roger Maris and Hank Aaron have their records rightfully restored and the Red Sox are stripped of the 2004 and 2008 World Series titles.


Who was juicing on the Phillies or Rays in 2008? Charlie Manuel?
 
2012-08-19 02:22:40 PM  
He should have used Zombo.com. You can do anything with Zombo.com. Well, what are you waiting for?
 
2012-08-19 02:25:01 PM  
This might help explain why he sucked for the Braves; he was skipping batting practice and other team workouts to take web design classes at Georgia Tech.
 
2012-08-19 02:26:30 PM  

maxpower007: PowerSlacker: AliceBToklasLives: So . . . . . should the Giants be forced to forfeit the games Cabrera played in this season, given the fact that he was cheating?

/anything to keep my Rockies out of the cellar

That should happen right after Roger Maris and Hank Aaron have their records rightfully restored and the Red Sox are stripped of the 2004 and 2008 World Series titles.

Who was juicing on the Phillies or Rays in 2008? Charlie Manuel?


Oops, 2007.

To answer your question, I'd go with Ryan Howard.
 
2012-08-19 02:41:19 PM  

PowerSlacker: maxpower007: PowerSlacker: AliceBToklasLives: So . . . . . should the Giants be forced to forfeit the games Cabrera played in this season, given the fact that he was cheating?

/anything to keep my Rockies out of the cellar

That should happen right after Roger Maris and Hank Aaron have their records rightfully restored and the Red Sox are stripped of the 2004 and 2008 World Series titles.

Who was juicing on the Phillies or Rays in 2008? Charlie Manuel?

Oops, 2007.

To answer your question, I'd go with Ryan Howard.


You shut your whore mouth right there.
 
2012-08-19 02:43:37 PM  
Just when I thought that Ryan Dempster was making a push for Dumbass of the Year with the whole "I can't pitch in Toronto because I lost my passport" thing, Melky does something to prove that he deserves the award
 
2012-08-19 02:53:06 PM  

PowerSlacker: maxpower007: PowerSlacker: AliceBToklasLives: So . . . . . should the Giants be forced to forfeit the games Cabrera played in this season, given the fact that he was cheating?

/anything to keep my Rockies out of the cellar

That should happen right after Roger Maris and Hank Aaron have their records rightfully restored and the Red Sox are stripped of the 2004 and 2008 World Series titles.

Who was juicing on the Phillies or Rays in 2008? Charlie Manuel?

Oops, 2007.

To answer your question, I'd go with Ryan Howard.


static.tvfanatic.com

Eh, I dunno, he's kinda scrawny.
 
2012-08-19 03:10:00 PM  

PowerSlacker: maxpower007: PowerSlacker: AliceBToklasLives: So . . . . . should the Giants be forced to forfeit the games Cabrera played in this season, given the fact that he was cheating?

/anything to keep my Rockies out of the cellar

That should happen right after Roger Maris and Hank Aaron have their records rightfully restored and the Red Sox are stripped of the 2004 and 2008 World Series titles.

Who was juicing on the Phillies or Rays in 2008? Charlie Manuel?

Oops, 2007.

To answer your question, I'd go with Ryan Howard.


Honestly, I would imagine that the vast majority of pro athletes still juice. Not so much for muscle, but for recovery. Just that most are not stupid enough to get caught
 
2012-08-19 03:23:08 PM  

johnnylarue: Melky Cabrera created Bleacher Report?


I just spewed a mouthful of porter all over the bar at Hooverville in Seattle.
 
2012-08-19 03:44:15 PM  
goddammit Melky...
 
2012-08-19 03:58:05 PM  
Now that's brilliant, lol.
 
2012-08-19 03:58:13 PM  
I believe he can still win the batting title
 
2012-08-19 04:00:06 PM  
www.biography.com

Miss me yet?

/Image hosting disabled in this thread?
 
2012-08-19 04:05:33 PM  
www.webwombat.com.au

Approves.

moviesmedia.ign.com

Disapproves. And really wishes you would stop saying that.
 
2012-08-19 04:21:33 PM  

dudemanbro: Not defending him, but I doubt it was all his idea. Either way, he's done as a Giant.
/go Giants


I'd say he might be done as an MLB player. Would any team in their right mind want to take the guy?
 
2012-08-19 04:26:19 PM  

desertgeek: dudemanbro: Not defending him, but I doubt it was all his idea. Either way, he's done as a Giant.
/go Giants

I'd say he might be done as an MLB player. Would any team in their right mind want to take the guy?


If not through, he's just engineered a massive discount for that free agent contract.
 
2012-08-19 04:28:34 PM  
Well, Melky's shown he has a career in politics if the baseball thing doesn't work out.
 
2012-08-19 04:44:21 PM  
Shoulda blamed it on herpes medication

\Brewers fan
 
2012-08-19 04:48:05 PM  

zarberg: Well, Melky's shown he has a career in politics if the baseball thing doesn't work out.


Or journalism as the Stephen Glass movie screenshots imply
 
2012-08-19 04:53:21 PM  

robsul82: [www.webwombat.com.au image 300x364]

Approves.

[moviesmedia.ign.com image 450x298]

Disapproves. And really wishes you would stop saying that.



I love that film.
 
2012-08-19 05:14:25 PM  
He should be banned from baseball just because his name is Melky. WTF is a Melky, something that is phoney and awful, and needs to be shunned. Go Andrew McCutcheon!
 
2012-08-19 05:33:37 PM  
Dear Melky,

We'll take you in. Actually, we'll take just about anyone in at this point. Drinks on me at Cedar Creek in The Heights, if you want to sign here, Melky.

Sincerely,
Astros Fan

/Off to sob in a corner.
 
2012-08-19 05:46:28 PM  
Serious question:

If you get caught faking evidence in an attempt to overturn or loosen the penalties applied to you in an MLB disciplinary case, can the commissioner increase your sentence? Could they make him sit for 100 games instead of 50? Or even impose a lifetime ban?

Or can they treat the fabrication of evidence as a separate violation of the rules, with a separate penalty?
 
2012-08-19 05:54:19 PM  

Unauthorized Bratwurst: Serious question:

If you get caught faking evidence in an attempt to overturn or loosen the penalties applied to you in an MLB disciplinary case, can the commissioner increase your sentence? Could they make him sit for 100 games instead of 50? Or even impose a lifetime ban?

Or can they treat the fabrication of evidence as a separate violation of the rules, with a separate penalty?


The commissioner can do just about anything "for the good of the game," though the union would certainly have some complaints.

That being said, the only other time anything like this happened was the "Jason Grimsley Sneaking Through the Air Vent" thing, and no further suspensions were issued for that.
 
2012-08-19 07:00:51 PM  

Unauthorized Bratwurst: Serious question:

If you get caught faking evidence in an attempt to overturn or loosen the penalties applied to you in an MLB disciplinary case, can the commissioner increase your sentence? Could they make him sit for 100 games instead of 50? Or even impose a lifetime ban?

Or can they treat the fabrication of evidence as a separate violation of the rules, with a separate penalty?


They will probably treat it as a separate violation, with its own penalty tacked onto the original suspension, and an end result that he will miss the playoffs (assuming the Giants make the playoffs) and the start of the next regular season.
 
2012-08-19 07:43:17 PM  

gonzoduke: That's pretty stupid even by an offensive linesmans standards.


I'm pretty sure I read once where offensive linemen are some of the smarter guys on the field. I'll bet they are above average.
 
2012-08-19 07:45:55 PM  

desertgeek: dudemanbro: Not defending him, but I doubt it was all his idea. Either way, he's done as a Giant.
/go Giants

I'd say he might be done as an MLB player. Would any team in their right mind want to take the guy?


Are you kidding? There is nothing to lose from signing a player like this. If he gets busted again, who cares? He got you wins and now you don't have to pay him anymore. This isn't college sports where the teams get punished for players' cheating.
 
2012-08-19 08:06:45 PM  

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: goddammit Melky...


I hear Manny Ramirez is still available. :)
 
2012-08-19 08:27:54 PM  
Ha, suck it Giant's fans! Someone actually tried to tell me Melky was dumb for taking PEDs AFTER getting the All Star MVP, as the reason he got it in the first place wasn't the steroids.
 
2012-08-19 08:48:03 PM  

bubbaprog: desertgeek: dudemanbro: Not defending him, but I doubt it was all his idea. Either way, he's done as a Giant.
/go Giants

I'd say he might be done as an MLB player. Would any team in their right mind want to take the guy?

Are you kidding? There is nothing to lose from signing a player like this. If he gets busted again, who cares? He got you wins and now you don't have to pay him anymore. This isn't college sports where the teams get punished for players' cheating.



If he signs a contract and gets caught again, the team will still be on the hook for his salary.
 
2012-08-19 08:49:30 PM  
^
Aside from the duration of the suspension, of course.
 
2012-08-19 09:00:41 PM  
Anyone giving him a new contract will likely include a behavior clause.
 
2012-08-19 09:18:26 PM  
i really liked melky when he was a yankee and was pissed to see him go. especially for what the yanks got in return. anyway, it seems like he had gained some workout ethics, got in shape and i don't believe taking testosterone alone is what contributed to his improvement(look at his numbers with the royals). all that aside, this website thing is more than likely the end of his MLB career.


and i really get a kick out of some articles that say ex-yankee outfielder, that's gold jerry.
 
2012-08-19 09:27:49 PM  

dlriumtrigger: If he signs a contract and gets caught again, the team will still be on the hook for his salary.


League suspensions for PED use are WITHOUT PAY.
 
2012-08-19 10:10:44 PM  
meanwhile in this BOS-NYY game, it's apparently a night for the 38-year-olds.. Jeter is 3-for-4 with two doubles and Ichrio has two homers
 
2012-08-19 10:40:50 PM  
I read this article out loud to my roommate, who then thought that I was reading something off of The Onion.

/Jokingly said "He's juicing." watching the ASG
//Braves fan, so you can understand the disparity.
 
2012-08-19 10:52:15 PM  

red5ish: dlriumtrigger: If he signs a contract and gets caught again, the team will still be on the hook for his salary.

League suspensions for PED use are WITHOUT PAY.



See my next post.


If he had signed a big multiyear deal, he'd still be owed the money following the suspension, which would have been substantial if he hadn't been caught this year.
 
2012-08-19 11:39:19 PM  
Won't be surprised if he's banned from baseball for this, MLB is old school - look at barry bonds - he's only a free "agent" right now. Wonder why no team will pick him up.
 
2012-08-19 11:44:28 PM  

Hardy-r-r: I believe he can still win the batting title


Rumblings are they are working on making sure he doesnt get it

dlriumtrigger: If he signs a contract and gets caught again, the team will still be on the hook for his salary.


Im pretty sure he was on a one year deal so it wont hurt anyone to sign him
 
2012-08-19 11:56:18 PM  

Misconduc: Won't be surprised if he's banned from baseball for this, MLB is old school - look at barry bonds - he's only a free "agent" right now. Wonder why no team will pick him up.


B*nds arrogance knows no bounds, this douche actually thought teams were going to falling over themselves to sign him, a 44 year old known steroid cheater, his agent had to be shocked nobody called to sign the inspiration for fat head.
 
2012-08-20 12:36:59 AM  

steamingpile: Im pretty sure he was on a one year deal so it wont hurt anyone to sign him


This is his contract year I believe. Oops.

steamingpile: B*nds arrogance knows no bounds, this douche actually thought teams were going to falling over themselves to sign him, a 44 year old known steroid cheater, his agent had to be shocked nobody called to sign the inspiration for fat head.


Whatever happened with the collusion suit he was gonna file?
 
2012-08-20 02:20:42 AM  

The Bestest: steamingpile: Im pretty sure he was on a one year deal so it wont hurt anyone to sign him

This is his contract year I believe. Oops.

steamingpile: B*nds arrogance knows no bounds, this douche actually thought teams were going to falling over themselves to sign him, a 44 year old known steroid cheater, his agent had to be shocked nobody called to sign the inspiration for fat head.

Whatever happened with the collusion suit he was gonna file?


Yeah his agent shut that down after realizing MLB could come forward with other evidence collected but sealed under the union contract. That's what the FBI was wanting but could never use in court, if they were to sue then it could be used as evidence already introduced in another court case then bonds would serving real jail time.
 
2012-08-20 06:15:11 AM  

jrodtheterrible: He should be banned from baseball just because his name is Melky. WTF is a Melky, something that is phoney and awful, and needs to be shunned. Go Andrew McCutcheon!


Well, "Melky" is short for "Melquiades"
 
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