If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(NBC News)   NBC asks with a straight face, "Could you go 10 weeks without lying?"   (bodyodd.nbcnews.com) divider line 100
    More: Unlikely, NBC, diseases, University of Notre Dame, daily life, exaggerations, Getty Images  
•       •       •

3801 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Aug 2012 at 9:09 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



100 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-08-19 10:52:16 AM  

tardisrider: BolloxReader: LouDobbsAwaaaay:
One of the few unintentionally poignant lines from Community: "90% of the lying people do takes place six inches from the bathroom mirror."

So... most people compare dicks with their reflections?

/never occured to me to do this before now but I'm not obssesed with the little guy like that
//people are weird


When I read that quote, the first thing I thought of was people's weight, fitness, overall general appearance. It did not even occur to me that it may have been a dick reference.

Also, you seem to assume that "most people" even have dicks to begin with. I'd have thought it was more in the overall range of 50/50.

You say you're not obsessed, but I wonder if you perhaps protest too much...


Naw, I'm just a guy. Therefore the rest of the world is guys too when I'm writing generically.

\obviously, the women are comparing boobs or something in the mirror
\\just because I'm not obsessed with the little guy doesn't mean I'm not obsessed with sex
\\\worrying over physical dimensions isn't gonna make it any larger unless backed by a surgeon's scalpal
 
2012-08-19 10:53:10 AM  

Glockenspiel Hero: Beyond the question of "if you can" (answer, no, you can't) is the one "is it a good idea not to lie?" That answer is no as well.

We tell dozens if not hundreds of small lies daily, and our lives would fall apart if we didn't. When your boss drops in and asks how things are going do you really want to tell him that you're pissed off because he made a stupid decision and you have to pick up the pieces? Are you going to tell your kid that you'd rather do almost anything else rather than sit through the horrible school play she's been rehearsing for? How long is your marriage going to last if you really tell your wife everything you think about her?

Small lies are the social grease you need to keep everything working.


You seem to confuse "telling the truth" with "telling the whole truth". It's not that difficult to tell people the truth without going Liar, Liar on them.

Boss who's fark-up made your job harder: "How are things going?"
You: "Challenging, but nothing I can't handle."

Kid: "Can you come to my play, pleeeeeeaaaaaase?"
You: "I can't make any promises, but I will see what I can do."

Wife: "How do I look in this dress?"
You: "That's a good color for you."

/This is the kind of shiat you learn when one of your parents was a psychologist and the other did budget analysis for a Pac-12 university
 
2012-08-19 10:53:45 AM  

Glockenspiel Hero: When your boss drops in and asks how things are going do you really want to tell him that you're pissed off because he made a stupid decision and you have to pick up the pieces?


Giving your opinion about the current state of the company is different than being honest and not lying. You could perfectly say: "Given the circumstances that led us here, I'd say we're ok. The circumstances COULD have been avoided though."


Glockenspiel Hero: Are you going to tell your kid that you'd rather do almost anything else rather than sit through the horrible school play she's been rehearsing for?


If you'd rather not go, don't go. You could also not lie to yourself and expect a Broadway play. They're farking KIDS.

Glockenspiel Hero: How long is your marriage going to last if you really tell your wife everything you think about her?


... well, if you're lying to keep it from falling apart you might as well drop the damn thing and go do something that actually makes you happy.
 
2012-08-19 10:57:26 AM  

LouDobbsAwaaaay: corronchilejano: ajgeek: I play D&D. Isn't making stuff up the definition of lying?

Since lying pretty much means masking the truth by saying something different, I'd say no. In D&D you're basically creating a story and everyone is (hopefully) conscious that everything is made up.

[i49.tinypic.com image 462x239]
DID YOU LEARN NOTHING FROM THIS STORY???


Dude? Seriously? Come on, that's the kind of bullshiat story we can expect from people who've never even played D&D. I mean, really? Mind bondage?

That's what charm person is for.
 
2012-08-19 11:02:57 AM  

Crude: I challenge NBC News to try for 10 minutes.



They'll never make it.


Holy, flaming Ford Pintos Batman !
 
2012-08-19 11:07:01 AM  
There's no one more honest than me.
 
2012-08-19 11:13:30 AM  
African or European lie?
 
2012-08-19 11:20:40 AM  
it all depends on if I can afford that many sleeping pills and just SLEEP the entire 10 weeks.. plus.. do dreams count?
 
2012-08-19 11:23:35 AM  
No.
 
2012-08-19 11:24:35 AM  

vodka: Fizpez: 10 weeks? Most people probably couldnt go 10 hours considering all the little innocent, it's not worth the fight, lies we all tell....

Speak for yourself, sociopath. But yeah I get it, most normal people are sociopaths.


So recognizing that being 100% honest is NOT always in someone's best interest makes me a sociopath? I'd say the people who can't or won't do that are the ones who just might be a bit broken.

Daughter "How do you like your tea daddy?"

Me (thinking it tastes like lukewarm bath water mixed with perfume) "Mmmmm yummmy - you make the best tea!"


Yes, that is a straight up lie but the telling the truth is pointless, hurtful and certainly NOT in the spirit of sitting down on a 8 inch high chair to play tea party with your 4 year old. But yeah, that makes me weird.
 
2012-08-19 11:25:32 AM  
Wow,what a fascinating article!*

*No lie!
 
2012-08-19 11:25:37 AM  
I learned from an early age with a ridiculous mother that sometimes, your best two options are either saying the truth if the truth is sufficiently outrageous it won't be believed anyway, or saying nothing at all.

For example:

"ohmygosh so how was the drive [5 minutes away to pick up dinner with my brother at the coney island]"

"oh, fine, you know, hit a BMW..."

"oh, very funny"

[bumped it]

I also must have told her at least half a dozen times when I went to Canada because we had nothing else to do, and I don't think she believed any of it.

So ten weeks, sure. The little white lies at work sorta thing might trip me up, but yeah. Thanks, Mom, for teaching me how to pull that off.
 
2012-08-19 11:27:21 AM  

Fizpez: in the spirit of sitting down on a 8 inch high chair to play tea party with your 4 year old.


awwwww.

/that's awesome
 
2012-08-19 11:29:36 AM  
I have never told a lie and I never will.
 
2012-08-19 11:33:13 AM  
No... Next question...
 
2012-08-19 11:37:58 AM  
Depends. I don't like bullshiatting people, but sometimes they put me in a corner.

People asking how their new clothes look on them, or asking if I can tell that they've lost weight are tops on the list. A couple of weeks ago, some people had the gall to ask me what I thought about their sorryassed worthless fark trophy, and I had to grind my teeth just to get out "Uh... he's an ok kid." Sometimes people don't need the truth if the hurt inflicted would be greater than the knowledge imparted.

/shrug
 
2012-08-19 11:43:54 AM  
Of course... I am a poor liar so I generally don't, and when I do it's usually a lie by omission.

I can lie when forced to, but I usually get found out.
 
2012-08-19 11:52:22 AM  
Nope.

mestadelsbilder.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-08-19 11:57:21 AM  
If the Elephant Man came in here now, with some lipstick on and a nice dress, and said, "How do I look?" would you say - bearing in mind that he's depressed and got respiratory problems - would you say "Take that blusher off, you ugly, misshapen-headed, elephant tranny!"? No. You'd say "You look nice... John"
 
2012-08-19 12:24:26 PM  
I'd like any of the major news organizations to go 10 minutes without lying, but until they start summary executions for journalism bias, it's not going to happen.
 
2012-08-19 12:46:44 PM  

Porous Horace: If the Elephant Man came in here now, with some lipstick on and a nice dress, and said, "How do I look?" would you say - bearing in mind that he's depressed and got respiratory problems - would you say "Take that blusher off, you ugly, misshapen-headed, elephant tranny!"? No. You'd say "You look nice... John"


I'd say, "Take off that dress! You're a MAN!"
 
2012-08-19 12:49:12 PM  
Am I in a sensory deprivation tank for those 10 weeks?
 
Ehh
2012-08-19 12:51:33 PM  
There are monasteries where nobody talks, right? Ten weeks away from everyone who requires that I lie to them? I am willing to try. Who'll pay my bills?
 
2012-08-19 12:54:14 PM  

LordZorch: I'd like any of the major news organizations to go 10 minutes without lying, but until they start summary executions for journalism bias, it's not going to happen.


bias ≠ lying

Bias: "After claims that the law is 'unconstitutional', Obamacare goes before the Supreme Court this week."

Lying: "If Obamacare is not struck down, there will be immediate nationwide rationing of care, resulting in thousands of Americans dying in the streets from lack of medical attention."

The first presents the truth, but with a bias. While some people might be swayed by the bias, the facts are still discernible. The second is utter bullshiat and gives no way of identifying what the facts actually are.

As long as humans are the ones reporting the news, bias is unavoidable and it's not really possible to legislate against. Lying, on the other hand, is avoidable and can be legislated against. Of course, the people who gain the most from lying on the national stage are the same ones who have the most influence in making the laws, so it's not likely to happen in our lifetimes.
 
2012-08-19 01:14:14 PM  
how would you know?

the most common lies are those people tell themselves...
 
2012-08-19 01:19:47 PM  
Yes, done it for years now. Just don't talk to people.
 
2012-08-19 01:22:33 PM  
My daughter made "toast" for me on mother's day. It was charcoal with 1/2 inch of peanut butter and pink jelly beans. I ate every bit of it. I told her it was the best toast ever. My son gave me a toy monster truck that came with temporary tattoos. I wore all of the tattoos the next week to work. Yes, I got some odd looks, but he was soooo proud. The garbage truck is in my office I work. I use it as a paper weight.

What good would it have done to tell her the truth about the toast which could have served as grill fodder or the fact that pb does not go with pink jelly beans. I have no idea what flavor they were--they were pink. The tattoos were all on my right arm. All were at different angles. I will have the garbage truck forever. What good would it have done to say that they tattoos might have lead in them and that mommy does not have good life insurance as a state employee?
 
2012-08-19 01:23:31 PM  

Pud: I could. But then I am a jerk. And yes, your ass does look fat in that dress because you have a fat ass. It'll look fat in anything you wear. But I like it so why worry so much about it?


I could because I'm a hermit and just don't talk to people I'd have to lie to. Or don't answer the phone if I don't want to be honest about what I'm doing.
 
2012-08-19 01:27:21 PM  
NBC's asking that? After "You're going to love the Marriage Ref?"
 
2012-08-19 01:39:54 PM  

Teufelaffe: Kid: "Can you come to my play, pleeeeeeaaaaaase?"
You: "I can't make any promises, but I will see what I can do."


What kind of ass doesn't go to his kid's play?
 
2012-08-19 01:40:26 PM  
go figure
 
2012-08-19 01:47:59 PM  
Yes
Yes I can
Absolutely
Not a problem
 
2012-08-19 02:13:35 PM  

Saberus Terras: No.


Allow me to expand. If I stop lying or making stories, there are some very dear to me that will suffer and possibly die.
 
2012-08-19 02:29:44 PM  

Hebalo: Teufelaffe: Kid: "Can you come to my play, pleeeeeeaaaaaase?"
You: "I can't make any promises, but I will see what I can do."

What kind of ass doesn't go to his kid's play?


An ass who works for a company that has a draconian attendance policy. Spring BWG in the late 90s, for instance, had the following attendance policy (this was at a 24/7/365 call center, so there were night shifts as well as holiday shifts):

• If you clock in for the start of your shift, or return from lunch, more than 5 minutes prior to, or more than 1 second after your scheduled start/return time, you are "late" and will accrue one half of an "attendance occurrence point."
• If you are more than 15 minutes late for the start of your shift, you will accrue one full "attendance occurrence point."
• If you miss a scheduled shift (or are more than 15 minutes late, as above) without 1 week prior notice and the use of accrued vacation time, regardless of the reason for missing the shift or being late, you will accrue one full "attendance occurrence point" for each day missed. (Got in a bad car accident and had to spend 48 hours in the hospital under observation? That's at least 2 points right there.)
• Any points accrued will remain on your record for a period of 180 days from the last occurrence. (i.e., you're 10 minutes late one day, you get 0.5 points that will stick around for 6 months. You get sick from food poisoning and miss a day 5 months and 29 days later, you now have 1.5 points that will stick with you for another 6 months.)
• One point gets you a verbal warning. Two points will get you a written warning. Three points is a final written warning or termination of your employment at a manager's discretion. Four points will result in termination of your employment.

So, all it takes is a flat tire and later having to stay home because you're sick within a 6 month period and you're looking at potentially losing your job for any more "attendance issues."

/I thank the gods I left that place before I had a kid.
 
2012-08-19 02:38:28 PM  
Not Lying isn't hard as there is no requirement that you have to say every thought that gores through your head. If someone asks an awkward question, be sure to answer what they ask, and avoid adding extra thoughts.

Q: Does this dress make my ass look big?
A: No, not at all
Extra thought: Your ass makes your ass look big

Q: Daddy will you come to my play?
A: Yes honey, I'll be there
Extra thought: Though I'd rather poke my eyes out with a stick, I'll be the responsible parent and go.

There is also the tactic of answering an awkward question with another question.
Q: What do you think of my precious snowflake?
A: Is he an only child or do you have more children? (lead off into a discussion of socialization)

Q: Do you like your breakfast mammy? (burnt toast with peanut butter and jelly beans)
A: Did you make this all by yourself? I see it has some of your favorite food. You must love me very much.

It also helps if you can make life decisions that don't require lying. If you have to lie to your wife about what you think of her, you made a poor decision in marrying her and should probably get a divorce so she has a chance to find someone who really does love her. If you can't open your mouth without offending people choose a career that doesn't require much human interaction, such as programming.

The garbage truck is in my office I work. I use it as a paper weight.

lol, what a great kid! Giving mommy the ability to make really subtle commentary on her work assignments without having her job at risk!
 
2012-08-19 03:20:25 PM  
Glockenspiel Hero: Small lies are the social grease you need to keep everything working.

Exactly. I heard it once as "white lies are the lubricant of social intercourse."
 
2012-08-19 03:24:50 PM  

Teufelaffe: LordZorch: I'd like any of the major news organizations to go 10 minutes without lying, but until they start summary executions for journalism bias, it's not going to happen.

bias ≠ lying

Bias: "After claims that the law is 'unconstitutional', Obamacare goes before the Supreme Court this week."

Lying: "If Obamacare is not struck down, there will be immediate nationwide rationing of care, resulting in thousands of Americans dying in the streets from lack of medical attention."

The first presents the truth, but with a bias. While some people might be swayed by the bias, the facts are still discernible. The second is utter bullshiat and gives no way of identifying what the facts actually are.

As long as humans are the ones reporting the news, bias is unavoidable and it's not really possible to legislate against. Lying, on the other hand, is avoidable and can be legislated against. Of course, the people who gain the most from lying on the national stage are the same ones who have the most influence in making the laws, so it's not likely to happen in our lifetimes.


The lady doth protest too much....
 
2012-08-19 04:22:42 PM  
I think the subby referencing 'NBC' with the 'lying' article was in regards to the Today Show's intentional manipulation of Zimmerman's 911 call. This might be a 'I see what you did there' moment. Could be wrong though.
 
2012-08-19 04:38:21 PM  
There is no difference between the truth and a lie that you can commit to telling for the rest of your life.
 
2012-08-19 08:45:40 PM  
Of course.

/what other answer is there?
 
2012-08-19 09:01:14 PM  
NBC obviously can't; they've spent all summer telling us their new fall lineup is worth watching.
 
2012-08-19 09:13:23 PM  
I never lie. You can give diplomatic answers that are completely true and don't hurt anybodies feelings in most cases.

Ever had somebody tell you that something you had done was quite unique or that a meal you had made wasn't quite like anything else they had ever had? That is how you be diplomatic without lying. It may be true that burnt toast with peanut butter and jelly beans is a terrible sounding combination (I haven't tried it personally to say rather or not I could actually enjoy it) but it is also true to say it is something that nobody else has ever made it for you before and to tell the kid thank you for making you something special.

Sometimes however it is much more effective and efficient in life to skip the diplomatic approach and just be blunt and brutally honest. Having a bad day and don't feel like carrying on with small talk with everybody you meet at the store and work? When they ask you how it is going and they expect the standard response of fine watch as their face changes and they stammer into awkward silence when your response is terrible.

Want a better relationship? Be diplomatic AND honest. Women, this especially means you on the honest part. When you sigh and a guy asks you what is wrong, DO NOT TELL HIM NOTHING! When you tell a guy nothing is wrong he is either going to assume you actually mean nothing is wrong or he is going to decide that it isn't worth playing games to try to figure out what is wrong. Do not complain that men don't communicate well or that men don't understand you when you continually lie to men so that they can't figure out anything about you!
 
2012-08-19 10:39:56 PM  

Shakespeare's Sister: My daughter made "toast" for me on mother's day. It was charcoal with 1/2 inch of peanut butter and pink jelly beans. I ate every bit of it. I told her it was the best toast ever. My son gave me a toy monster truck that came with temporary tattoos. I wore all of the tattoos the next week to work. Yes, I got some odd looks, but he was soooo proud. The garbage truck is in my office I work. I use it as a paper weight.

What good would it have done to tell her the truth about the toast which could have served as grill fodder or the fact that pb does not go with pink jelly beans. I have no idea what flavor they were--they were pink. The tattoos were all on my right arm. All were at different angles. I will have the garbage truck forever. What good would it have done to say that they tattoos might have lead in them and that mommy does not have good life insurance as a state employee?


Hah! Good call.

My daughters did a similar thing to me. They stamped me on the face with some sort of tats. Got some funny looks when we did the local McDs happy meal. Oh, how they laughed,

But they didn't expect dad was onto them. No way. They should have by now but I got my revenge,

I snuck in on them while they were sleeping and pinged their faces as they did mine. It was bit difficult to do and not wake them up but the next morning was something to behold.

Off topic but I think the good deity gave us kids for only one reason... to fark with them as they do with us.

Man, the good times we had... yep. Good times. 

Too bad they grew up. It is much harder now.
 
2012-08-19 10:41:05 PM  

corronchilejano: Glockenspiel Hero: When your boss drops in and asks how things are going do you really want to tell him that you're pissed off because he made a stupid decision and you have to pick up the pieces?

Giving your opinion about the current state of the company is different than being honest and not lying. You could perfectly say: "Given the circumstances that led us here, I'd say we're ok. The circumstances COULD have been avoided though."


Glockenspiel Hero: Are you going to tell your kid that you'd rather do almost anything else rather than sit through the horrible school play she's been rehearsing for?

If you'd rather not go, don't go. You could also not lie to yourself and expect a Broadway play. They're farking KIDS.

Glockenspiel Hero: How long is your marriage going to last if you really tell your wife everything you think about her?

... well, if you're lying to keep it from falling apart you might as well drop the damn thing and go do something that actually makes you happy.

 
2012-08-20 06:07:07 AM  

Teufelaffe: You seem to confuse "telling the truth" with "telling the whole truth".


You seem to confuse "lying and pretending it's true" and "telling the truth".

Lying is a social tool, and like all other tools it can be used for good or bad purposes. Rather than pretending that lying is bad, and lying to children about how lying is never acceptable, we should teach people when it is and is not appropriate to lie.

But that would require people to exercise judgement rather than just mindlessly following prefab rules, and acknowledge that the world is grey and the bounds of acceptable behavior vary from context to context, so it will never be acceptable dogma
 
2012-08-20 06:09:01 AM  
Sure. But that means sleeping standing up. VERY UNCOMFORTABLE!
 
2012-08-20 06:19:27 AM  

Hacker_X: completely true


Only if as you define "completely true" to mean "technically true but willfully ignoring the established context and other facts known to you that you choose to withhold because you want the effect of a lie but have defined lying to not include this particular situation". It's not pragmatically different from a "real" lie but it fits your rationalization of why lying is bad but your behavior is acceptable.

Or you could avoid all those semantic gymnastics and rationalization and just admit that you lie when you think the situation is appropriate, just like everyone else does, and that it's not wrong to do so. Then you could construct rules about when it's reasonable to lie, and debate others about the content and importance of those rules, just like we construct and debate rules about when it's reasonable to kill. But if you'd rather lie to yourself about lies and leave regulation to the black market I guess I can't stop you.
 
2012-08-20 06:55:51 AM  
FNC: But that is all we do. How can we report the news the way we want to and the way our racist viewers want to hear it?
 
2012-08-20 10:25:58 AM  
going on about 10 years
 
2012-08-20 10:56:15 AM  
Everyone lies about sex.
 
Displayed 50 of 100 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report