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(Dvice)   Want to stop armpit sweating for a month? Now you can use microwaves to do just that. After all, what could go wrong?   (dvice.com) divider line 76
    More: Obvious, armpits  
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6995 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Aug 2012 at 12:59 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-18 10:43:43 PM  
Wonder how it would work on my balls... my Schweddy, Schweddy balls.
 
2012-08-19 01:04:47 AM  
fark you, evolution.
 
2012-08-19 01:06:31 AM  
Hot Pockets!
 
2012-08-19 01:07:21 AM  

BarkingUnicorn: Wonder how it would work on my balls... my Schweddy, Schweddy balls.


Did you rest them too long on a hot stove again?
 
2012-08-19 01:07:37 AM  
My armpits usually do not get sweaty. On a non-humid day my stomach, lower back and ass crack get sweaty (because of the lower back sweat dripping down my ass crack). On humid days my entire torso gets soaked. Then again I walk a couple miles every day in central Texas so I get sweaty unless I take the bus. So I do not see how the microwave device could help me unless I just blast away at my entire torso.
 
2012-08-19 01:08:38 AM  
For $3,000, you too can learn about compensatory sweating as you suddenly find you have to lodge a tampon in your ass crack to absorb all the sweat that's dripping down your back now that it's not dripping from your arm pits.
 
2012-08-19 01:10:31 AM  
Clogged sweat glands. They are not fun.
 
2012-08-19 01:11:05 AM  
Adverse side-effect: your armpits glow in the dark.
 
2012-08-19 01:11:45 AM  
fry those lymph nodes
 
2012-08-19 01:13:02 AM  
If you want your nuts and armpits to not smell funky when they sweat, wash them in iodine soap or Hibicleanse. They kill the stank bacteria. My balls smell like a fresh-baked muffin and never itch. Iodine soap is gentler, but you usually need to order it online. Hibicleanse is available in any pharmacy.
 
2012-08-19 01:15:14 AM  
Remember when people used to use x-rays to check if shoes fit? Me either, that was a long time ago, but they did. They don't do that anymore, because, you know, holy crap, x-rays.

Remember when women used to get their floating ribs removed surgically so that their waists would be smaller? Me either, that was over a hundred years ago. They don't do that anymore because, you know, that was CRAZY.

Microwaving your armpits to kill off the sweat glands so that you don't perspire. Now THAT'S a good idea.
 
2012-08-19 01:17:10 AM  

foo monkey: If you want your nuts and armpits to not smell funky when they sweat, wash them in iodine soap or Hibicleanse. They kill the stank bacteria. My balls smell like a fresh-baked muffin and never itch. Iodine soap is gentler, but you usually need to order it online. Hibicleanse is available in any pharmacy.


Fresh baked muffin? blueberry by any chance?
 
2012-08-19 01:17:13 AM  

foo monkey: If you want your nuts and armpits to not smell funky when they sweat, wash them in iodine soap or Hibicleanse. They kill the stank bacteria. My balls smell like a fresh-baked muffin and never itch. Iodine soap is gentler, but you usually need to order it online. Hibicleanse is available in any pharmacy.


That sound much more pleasant than that bleach and ammonia formula I've been using. I'll try it.
 
2012-08-19 01:18:21 AM  
What's wrong with sweat in the first place? Most days I go without anti-perspirant and yeah, I get a little sweaty, but unless I drank a fifth of whiskey the night before it's not too offensive. And this is in the FL humidity.
 
2012-08-19 01:19:03 AM  
I once peed on the rocks in a sauna. It smelled terrible.

/CSB?
 
2012-08-19 01:24:46 AM  
Don't want to sweat? Try panting like a dog, or simply be really freaking mellow like a cat.
 
2012-08-19 01:25:04 AM  

ElLoco: foo monkey: If you want your nuts and armpits to not smell funky when they sweat, wash them in iodine soap or Hibicleanse. They kill the stank bacteria. My balls smell like a fresh-baked muffin and never itch. Iodine soap is gentler, but you usually need to order it online. Hibicleanse is available in any pharmacy.

That sound much more pleasant than that bleach and ammonia formula I've been using. I'll try it.


The iodine was ordered by my doctor after I had a MRSA infection on my balls. Hibicleanse works better for bacteria-killing, but burns a bit on sensitive skin, like your nutsack. It's not unbearable, but you should know it's coming. Feels like a bad sunburn for 10 minutes.
 
2012-08-19 01:26:00 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: What's wrong with sweat in the first place? Most days I go without anti-perspirant and yeah, I get a little sweaty, but unless I drank a fifth of whiskey the night before it's not too offensive. And this is in the FL humidity.


fark you
 
2012-08-19 01:27:27 AM  

foo monkey: ElLoco: foo monkey: If you want your nuts and armpits to not smell funky when they sweat, wash them in iodine soap or Hibicleanse. They kill the stank bacteria. My balls smell like a fresh-baked muffin and never itch. Iodine soap is gentler, but you usually need to order it online. Hibicleanse is available in any pharmacy.

That sound much more pleasant than that bleach and ammonia formula I've been using. I'll try it.

Hibicleanse works better for bacteria-killing, but burns a bit on sensitive skin, like your nutsack.


Admit it, you still want to dip your balls in it.
 
2012-08-19 01:29:35 AM  

ElLoco: That sound much more pleasant than that bleach and ammonia formula I've been using.


NaOCl + 2HCl → Cl2 + NaCl + H2O

2NH3 + Cl2 → 2NH2Cl

Don't try this at home kids, it can kill you.  

/and your balls will smell like scorched meat because they will be scorched meat.
 
2012-08-19 01:34:10 AM  
animals sweat. humans perspire.
 
2012-08-19 01:39:59 AM  

duffblue: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: What's wrong with sweat in the first place? Most days I go without anti-perspirant and yeah, I get a little sweaty, but unless I drank a fifth of whiskey the night before it's not too offensive. And this is in the FL humidity.

fark you


You have a lot of Gillette stock or something?
 
2012-08-19 01:40:09 AM  

foo monkey: If you want your nuts and armpits to not smell funky when they sweat, wash them in iodine soap or Hibicleanse. They kill the stank bacteria. My balls smell like a fresh-baked muffin and never itch. Iodine soap is gentler, but you usually need to order it online. Hibicleanse is available in any pharmacy.


Any brands you recommend?
 
2012-08-19 01:44:09 AM  

fragMasterFlash: foo monkey: ElLoco: foo monkey: If you want your nuts and armpits to not smell funky when they sweat, wash them in iodine soap or Hibicleanse. They kill the stank bacteria. My balls smell like a fresh-baked muffin and never itch. Iodine soap is gentler, but you usually need to order it online. Hibicleanse is available in any pharmacy.

That sound much more pleasant than that bleach and ammonia formula I've been using. I'll try it.

Hibicleanse works better for bacteria-killing, but burns a bit on sensitive skin, like your nutsack.

Admit it, you still want to dip your balls in it.


I got used to it and it lost it's thrill. :(
 
2012-08-19 01:45:37 AM  

ElLoco: foo monkey: If you want your nuts and armpits to not smell funky when they sweat, wash them in iodine soap or Hibicleanse. They kill the stank bacteria. My balls smell like a fresh-baked muffin and never itch. Iodine soap is gentler, but you usually need to order it online. Hibicleanse is available in any pharmacy.

That sound much more pleasant than that bleach and ammonia formula I've been using. I'll try it.


So, you're cleaning yourself in mustard gas?
 
2012-08-19 01:48:26 AM  

foo monkey: The iodine was ordered by my doctor after I had a MRSA infection on my balls. Hibicleanse works better for bacteria-killing, but burns a bit on sensitive skin, like your nutsack. It's not unbearable, but you should know it's coming. Feels like a bad sunburn for 10 minutes.


This thread should have been the one with the title: "Nightmare fuel. Pure, unadulterated nightmare fuel."
 
2012-08-19 01:48:55 AM  

insertsnarkyusername: foo monkey: If you want your nuts and armpits to not smell funky when they sweat, wash them in iodine soap or Hibicleanse. They kill the stank bacteria. My balls smell like a fresh-baked muffin and never itch. Iodine soap is gentler, but you usually need to order it online. Hibicleanse is available in any pharmacy.

Any brands you recommend?


Hibicleanse is the brand name. It's kind of a cyan bottle. Pink soap. For the iodine, go to amazon and search for "iodine scrub." It's the soap. Don't get "iodine solution." That doesn't have soap. It comes in smaller yellow bottles or large clear ones. Or ask your pharmacist. Scrub, not solution.

Whatever you do, make sure to wash your hands before you go to the bathroom, not just after.
 
2012-08-19 01:49:28 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: What's wrong with sweat in the first place? Most days I go without anti-perspirant and yeah, I get a little sweaty, but unless I drank a fifth of whiskey the night before it's not too offensive. And this is in the FL humidity.


I realize you're probably joking, but in case you're not, you do realize that other people can smell your body odor long before you can smell it, right?
 
2012-08-19 01:49:30 AM  

foo monkey: If you want your nuts and armpits to not smell funky when they sweat, wash them in iodine soap or Hibicleanse. They kill the stank bacteria. My balls smell like a fresh-baked muffin and never itch. Iodine soap is gentler, but you usually need to order it online. Hibicleanse is available in any pharmacy.


Conversely, you could just go to your local 24hour fitness and take a swim in the heavily chlorinated pool.
 
2012-08-19 01:50:23 AM  
CSB

I used to sweat almost continuously from my armpits. After several years, I realized that I'm allergic to antiperspirants and that they actually cause me to sweat.

/CSB
 
2012-08-19 01:52:52 AM  

farkityfarker: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: What's wrong with sweat in the first place? Most days I go without anti-perspirant and yeah, I get a little sweaty, but unless I drank a fifth of whiskey the night before it's not too offensive. And this is in the FL humidity.

I realize you're probably joking, but in case you're not, you do realize that other people can smell your body odor long before you can smell it, right?


Is that true? I've never thought of that. Every once in a while I will spray myself down with some Axe, though.
 
2012-08-19 01:53:34 AM  
DNRTFA, but sweat is important in the body's temperature regulation... are these people really that stupid that they would risk their health in this weather to avoid pit stains?
 
2012-08-19 01:58:08 AM  

gerbilpox: foo monkey: The iodine was ordered by my doctor after I had a MRSA infection on my balls. Hibicleanse works better for bacteria-killing, but burns a bit on sensitive skin, like your nutsack. It's not unbearable, but you should know it's coming. Feels like a bad sunburn for 10 minutes.

This thread should have been the one with the title: "Nightmare fuel. Pure, unadulterated nightmare fuel."


My left nutsack swelled up like a playground kickball, full of blood and pus. The doctors would say, "please have a seat" and i'd say, "I can't sit down.". I had to hold my balls in my hands when I walked. My PCP, a woman, took one look and said, " you poor thing! We have to get you to the urologist!". (thank God for her.). An hour later the urologist was injecting my balls with anesthetic and squeezing the pus out. Go search for MRSA on YouTube, then imagine that's your balls.

Sweet dreams! :p.
 
2012-08-19 01:59:00 AM  

Stimulus: CSB

I used to sweat almost continuously from my armpits. After several years, I realized that I'm allergic to antiperspirants and that they actually cause me to sweat.

/CSB


Huh...I hadn't thought of that. I don't know that I perspire all the time, but it happens enough even when using clinical strength stuff that it's a bit of a bother. I'll have to look into this.
 
2012-08-19 02:06:52 AM  
remember the fluoroscope? people were told that was perfectly safe too. And the make-up that had radioactive isotopes in it, to help keep your skin looking young and fresh. the more things change, the more they stay the same i guess.
 
2012-08-19 02:07:18 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: duffblue: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: What's wrong with sweat in the first place? Most days I go without anti-perspirant and yeah, I get a little sweaty, but unless I drank a fifth of whiskey the night before it's not too offensive. And this is in the FL humidity.

fark you

You have a lot of Gillette stock or something?


Sorry, my nose typed that!
 
2012-08-19 02:11:35 AM  
I'd have to have my whole body done because when I get overheated, I sweat from EVERYWHERE.
 
2012-08-19 02:11:43 AM  
Hyperhydrosis - for 3g's this is worth it.
 
2012-08-19 02:15:25 AM  

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Hyperhydrosis - for 3g's this is worth it.


Probably pays for itself in a few years of not having to replace sweat-stained clothes.
 
2012-08-19 02:18:39 AM  
After you shower just rub on some Gold Bond powder. You'll stay dry for hours.


Cheaper than 3 G's.
 
2012-08-19 02:20:28 AM  

luktti: After you shower just rub on some Gold Bond powder. You'll stay dry for hours.


Cheaper than 3 G's.


A bonus is that after about 3 hours you'll have about 2 cups of griddle batter ready to go.
 
2012-08-19 02:21:19 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: What's wrong with sweat in the first place? Most days I go without anti-perspirant and yeah, I get a little sweaty, but unless I drank a fifth of whiskey the night before it's not too offensive. And this is in the FL humidity.


Not just the smell, but the appearance. If you have to give a presentation or teach a class, it can be really embarrassing to lift your arms and show everyone your sweat spots. I know from my experience as an audience member that if the presenter has big sweat spots on his shirt, it can be distracting.
 
2012-08-19 02:26:14 AM  

Atomic Spunk: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: What's wrong with sweat in the first place? Most days I go without anti-perspirant and yeah, I get a little sweaty, but unless I drank a fifth of whiskey the night before it's not too offensive. And this is in the FL humidity.

Not just the smell, but the appearance. If you have to give a presentation or teach a class, it can be really embarrassing to lift your arms and show everyone your sweat spots. I know from my experience as an audience member that if the presenter has big sweat spots on his shirt, it can be distracting.


That's kind of true, actually, as humans we have a tendency to pay too much attention to sweat. However, that likely is instinctual, as perspiration is one of the many ways you can figure out a person's physical and emotional state. There's a reason GSR tests are included in the polygraph.
 
2012-08-19 02:32:14 AM  
My right armpit drips. All the time. In winter. Out of the pool. Out of a cold shower.
 
2012-08-19 02:33:31 AM  
I sweat a little from my armpits, but it's never so bad that it makes any marks.
 
2012-08-19 02:33:51 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: A bonus is that after about 3 hours you'll have about 2 cups of griddle batter ready to go.


Only if you use 2 cups of powder.
 
2012-08-19 02:35:37 AM  
Two maxi pads and I'm good to go.
 
2012-08-19 02:36:49 AM  
5 Day Deodorant pads?

/read that in Carlin's voice
 
2012-08-19 02:42:09 AM  
The better question, will it stop swamp ass from forming on those hot and humid days?
 
2012-08-19 02:43:48 AM  

Atomic Spunk: Not just the smell, but the appearance. If you have to give a presentation or teach a class, it can be really embarrassing to lift your arms and show everyone your sweat spots. I know from my experience as an audience member that if the presenter has big sweat spots on his shirt, it can be distracting.


That's why I always teach my classes in a tank top.

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: luktti: After you shower just rub on some Gold Bond powder. You'll stay dry for hours.

Cheaper than 3 G's.

A bonus is that after about 3 hours you'll have about 2 cups of griddle batter ready to go.


Mmm. Funky armpit pancakes.
 
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