If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Wired)   There is no need to fear the apocalypse   (wired.com) divider line 68
    More: PSA, end times, silent spring, proven reserves, Christian radio, Paul Ehrlich, Rachel Carson, long count, Harold Camping  
•       •       •

18221 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Aug 2012 at 11:42 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
Skr
2012-08-18 12:47:52 PM
7 votes:
4.bp.blogspot.com
2012-08-18 11:57:41 AM
5 votes:
www.dcclubbing.com
2012-08-18 12:30:45 PM
4 votes:

Honest Bender: Your religion is a fairy tail.


Stop, please stop.
2012-08-18 12:04:19 PM
4 votes:
img.gawkerassets.com

/has little to say
2012-08-18 12:02:04 PM
3 votes:
I ain't worried until I look up on that stage and see Max Quordlepleen.
gja [TotalFark]
2012-08-18 11:51:45 AM
3 votes:
"That is not how the end of your puny earth will come about! Morbo is annoyed with all of you"

encrypted-tbn1.google.com
2012-08-18 11:45:40 AM
3 votes:
img.gawkerassets.com

it's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!
2012-08-18 09:11:20 AM
3 votes:

Mugato: There's four pages of that shiat? The apocalypse is not going to happen. There, done.


Sure, that is EXACTLY what THEY want us to think!
2012-08-18 09:07:09 AM
3 votes:
There's four pages of that shiat? The apocalypse is not going to happen. There, done.
2012-08-18 08:59:36 AM
3 votes:
Fear it? Why I embrace it.
2012-08-18 03:45:34 PM
2 votes:

Optimus Primate: I don't necessarily welcome an apocalypse, but I am not afraid of it - and I am prepared.

I have 8 full months rations stored, including enough water. I am also fairly well armed. (My girlfriend and I each have a handgun, a short-barrel shotgun with pistol grip -Mossberg 500's- and one rifle -- with PLENTY of ammo)

Most studies of an "economic-style" or general societal collapse (something where the power just goes out one day and never comes back on) say that half of current society will have died by six months. Our readiness will allow us to simply hole up for around 4-5 months until the initial mayhem dies away and people riot for the remaining food supplies, which will disappear within weeks.

My property is rural. The acreage is covered in pit traps and tripwires - and I have 3 cases of fragmentation mines ready to get laid out (it will take me one day to mine the whole property - I have timed it)

If the world is just too bad off after 8-12 months, and society has not started to reform, or if we are overwhelmed by raiders, we have cyanide capules which we wear around our necks. In the case of a raid, I can also blow our whole compound sky high by accessing one switch inside secret compartment on my fireplace.

Let it come. I have enough solar to power my mp3 player and we have books galore to read while the world burns.


[backing_away_slowly.gif]
2012-08-18 03:33:09 PM
2 votes:

invictus2: assless chaps


Chaps are assless pants. Your argument is invalid.
2012-08-18 02:57:42 PM
2 votes:
Well, now I'm scared, because Wired has not successfully predicted anything on it's cover since it began:


PUSH! Kiss your browser goodbye: The radical future of media beyond the Web
"Rocket Science: The First Digital Supergroup"

and my favorite:

The Long Boom

where they predicted 25 years of prosperity based on an information centric society-- 2 years before the the burst of the web bubble.

That's only a few examples off the top of my head; there are dozens more if you look through their archives. Look, I love Wired, but they're about as successful at predicting the future as Popular Mechanics was when they promising everyone would be riding in flying cars back in the 1930's.

Therefore, if Wired is saying there's not going to be an apocalypse, there's going to be a damn apocalypse.
2012-08-18 02:56:41 PM
2 votes:

invictus2: that and assless chaps


They have a name for non-assless chaps, they're called PANTS.

I'm ready for the apocalyptic future as long as we get to bang basic pleasure models that look like Daryl Hannah.

blogue.us

Ehrlich, who claimed he had been "goaded" into the bet, growled, "The one thing we'll never run out of is imbeciles."

The funny thing is he wasn't referring to himself. I can't wait to see what comes next. We had global cooling, ozone hole, now global warming is all the rage. Maybe it will be a plague of locusts and we'll finally get some common sense back and DDT will be legal again.
2012-08-18 02:47:12 PM
2 votes:
I was promised jet packs and zombies. Get a team working on those now!!
2012-08-18 02:29:00 PM
2 votes:

Oznog: [unrealitymag.com image 850x478]


And fashion accessories- the apocalypse is ALL about punk fashion accessories.

www.operatorchan.org
4.bp.blogspot.com
that and assless chaps
2012-08-18 02:07:52 PM
2 votes:

CujoQuarrel: Impending Broom: What about the Reaper?

Don't fear him, man. Just don't


You need MORE COWBELL!!
2012-08-18 02:01:42 PM
2 votes:
www.wired.com

That is one phallic looking apocalypse
2012-08-18 01:36:04 PM
2 votes:

Impending Broom: What about the Reaper?


Don't fear him, man. Just don't
2012-08-18 01:21:00 PM
2 votes:

Honest Bender: great_tigers: Stop, please stop.

Your religion is a fairy tail. Your adherence to it is a detriment to society, however small.

Stop, please stop.


i find your lack of faith disturbing.
2012-08-18 01:11:49 PM
2 votes:
You can't stop me from destroying the world.
2012-08-18 01:01:36 PM
2 votes:
Best-selling economist Robert Heilbroner

I have the weirdest broner right now.
2012-08-18 12:34:09 PM
2 votes:
www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com
2012-08-18 12:29:42 PM
2 votes:

lj1330: Now that's a scary thought. The people most likely to survive will be those survivalist nutjobs.


lucky for us most of them can't shoot straight OR cooperate with each other even if their lives depended on it.
2012-08-18 12:21:28 PM
2 votes:

Honest Bender: great_tigers: Honest Bender: great_tigers: Stop, please stop.

Your religion is a fairy tail. Your adherence to it is a detriment to society, however small.

Stop, please stop.

I respect your opinion. Thanks for the insult.

See, that's just it. I don't respect your opinion. It's moronic and harmful to us all. I can't help it if you find the truth insulting. Do you want me to sugar coat it for you? Too bad. You're an adult. Deal with it.


You sound like you hate yourself, there for everyone else.

Sorry your life sucks, I will "*pray*" for "you"

//troll on my brother...
2012-08-18 09:15:38 AM
2 votes:
11:11pm?

Is that Eastern Standard Time?
2012-08-18 08:48:09 AM
2 votes:
So I've been stocking my basement with jam, beef jerky and gasoline for nothing? Well that's just farking great.
2012-08-18 08:04:28 PM
1 votes:

Tatterdemalian: Spanky McStupid: The Apocalypse? Really? Two words: clothing optional.

[i49.tinypic.com image 549x549]

Four words: No electricity for photoshop.


Either way, I'm good.
2012-08-18 04:17:16 PM
1 votes:

gerbilpox: miss diminutive: So I've been stocking my basement with jam, beef jerky and gasoline for nothing? Well that's just farking great.

World/humanity-wide apocalypse is highly unlikely. Things like Katrina, earthquakes, and tsunamis are not (depending on where you're located).

BTW, where are you located? I want to know where I can break into for supplies when the time comes.

Oh, just remembered you're awfully cute, so... How YOU doin'?


Where am I located? You know all those militia that hoard guns and ammo and like to wear army fatigues and talk about the constitution all the time? I'm renting their basement apartment. No need to break in though, they'll gladly let you in if you ask nicely. The passphrase is "I'm with the FBI".

/my beef jerky from my cold, dead hands
2012-08-18 03:55:22 PM
1 votes:
One out of four children - roughly 146 million - in developing countries is underweight
(Source: The State of the World's Children, UNICEF, 2007)

10.9 million children under five die in developing countries each year. Malnutrition and hunger-related diseases cause 60 percent of the deaths;
(Source: The State of the World's Children, UNICEF, 2007)

You realize I am getting these stats from one webpage? About a standard letter-sized sheet of paper's worth? 250 words, maybe.

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

Go back to sleep humanity. We'll wake you up when it is Doom's Day.
2012-08-18 03:52:16 PM
1 votes:
Iron deficiency is the most prevalent form of malnutrition worldwide, affecting an estimated 2 billion people. Eradicating iron deficiency can improve national productivity levels by as much as 20 percent.
(Source: World Health Organization, WHO Global Database on Anaemia)


Do you know how upper class and upper middle class ladies used to mope about romantically, dying of consumption or fainting at the drop of a top hat? It was because they didn't eat properly. Even rich women suffered from malnutrition in the 1700s and 1800s. It was only with modern science and women's lib that they started to tuck into the odd steak from time to time, loosen their corsets and kick out against their oppressors in Church, State and Home.

You've come a long way, baby, and I'm not talking about the right to poison yourself and everybody around you with the toxic by-products of burning weeds.

But you've got a long way to go. We all know, and have known for a couple of centuries now, that iron is an essential part of every diet. Yet for the lack of a few iron tablets, men, but especially women and children, still are unable to be the slaves that their masters dream of. 60% of the malnourished (adults) in the world are women and children not doubt account for more of the deaths than even women. In short, the problem has not changed measurably since the days that humans roamed the Earth competing badly with smarter and better-organized troops of baboons.

Fark you, daddy!

There's a reason why more women are liberals and more men are conservatives. Women are smarter than men. They care more: if not about your personally well padded rump, than about women and children all too like themselves. After all, upper class white women are still 60% of the upper class malnourished. Possibly more.
2012-08-18 03:48:57 PM
1 votes:
I figure as long as I can gaze into Keira Knightley's eyes as the world ends then how could I possibly be afraid?
2012-08-18 03:41:31 PM
1 votes:
I don't necessarily welcome an apocalypse, but I am not afraid of it - and I am prepared.

I have 8 full months rations stored, including enough water. I am also fairly well armed. (My girlfriend and I each have a handgun, a short-barrel shotgun with pistol grip -Mossberg 500's- and one rifle -- with PLENTY of ammo)

Most studies of an "economic-style" or general societal collapse (something where the power just goes out one day and never comes back on) say that half of current society will have died by six months. Our readiness will allow us to simply hole up for around 4-5 months until the initial mayhem dies away and people riot for the remaining food supplies, which will disappear within weeks.

My property is rural. The acreage is covered in pit traps and tripwires - and I have 3 cases of fragmentation mines ready to get laid out (it will take me one day to mine the whole property - I have timed it)

If the world is just too bad off after 8-12 months, and society has not started to reform, or if we are overwhelmed by raiders, we have cyanide capules which we wear around our necks. In the case of a raid, I can also blow our whole compound sky high by accessing one switch inside secret compartment on my fireplace.

Let it come. I have enough solar to power my mp3 player and we have books galore to read while the world burns.
2012-08-18 03:39:35 PM
1 votes:
I wasn't going to chime in on this until I saw this post:

Honest Bender: great_tigers: Stop, please stop.

Your religion is a fairy tail. Your adherence to it is a detriment to society, however small.

Stop, please stop.


If the world does end anytime soon, it will not be because of natural causes. It will be because of intolerant dipshiats like you pissing off other intolerant dipshiats. The thing is... you just have a keyboard to start your shiat and react to shiat. A few of those intolerant dipshiats have militaries and bombs that can take out whole cities at their disposal. Your and their hate is a detriment to society on a much larger scale.

Stop, please stop.
2012-08-18 03:32:17 PM
1 votes:
So, exactly how many people did die of malnutrition during the 1970s and 80s?

My rough calculation makes it HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS!

Twenty years, fifteen million a year, three hundred million, BINGO! Right on target.

Only it wasn't big showy famines like the famous Biafran famine that killed most of them. Most of them died of malnutrition on a day-to-day not getting enough to eat basis.

We have several major famines going on right now, Mr. That's All Solved Conservative. All across East Africa and West Africa the Sahal is blooming with its annual warnings from charities that famine is stalking Somalia, Ethiopia, Kenya, the Sudan, Mali, etc.

At least 100 million Indians, probably two or three hundred million, are hungry right now. Most of the new found wealth of China is concentrated in the export-oriented provinces or states of East China, and especially coastal areas. In the West, the peasants are still desperately poor despite some attempts by the Chinese elites to spread the wealth around a little, prevent grumbling, rebellion and embarassment.

For example, the embarassment of counting how many people are dying for lack of a few pennies worth of micro-nutrients (vitamins and minerals, including salt to prevent 2.5 million child deaths a year from diarrhea, the biggest killer).

Same old, same old. Conservatives deny, liberals supply.
2012-08-18 03:28:29 PM
1 votes:

miss diminutive: whconner4: Any allegiance to this faith does some harm to us all

I simply don't understand that viewpoint at all. I'm an atheist, but that doesn't mean I don't see some value in believing in a higher power. For some, it provides the motivation to do good towards others and make the world a better place. You could make the argument that they are simply behaving due to a fear of hell or damnation, but I rather see it as they are inherently good people who feel that religion happens to fit their particular viewpoint. I have many Christian friends, as I said earlier in the thread, and they're simply decent people who work as hard as anyone else, help others and generally want everyone to be happy. Of all the religious people I've met, the number who are repressive, anti-science, anti-progress, anti-women, anti-gay are the vast, vast minority. (blah blah, anecdotal evidence, blah blah)

Maybe it's the simply due to the difference between religious groups in Canada in the US, but I just don't run into these end of the world is nigh/the gays are ruining everything/abortion is murder types very often.

I just won't define an entire group of several billion people by their loudest, douchiest (and usually numerically insignificant) members.


As someone who was mentally used and abused in a religion, I can tell you for a FACT, that religion does no one good. You don't have to be religious to be a good person.
2012-08-18 03:17:38 PM
1 votes:
According to Admiral Bird, descendants of Atlantis and Lemuria live in the Inner Utopia of inner Earth and are thousands of years ahead of us technologically and spiritually. They control this planet, not us. If they get pissed enough at us, I could see them starting the surface dwellers over again.
2012-08-18 02:59:22 PM
1 votes:

xynix: Yeah we call that a God moment. It's awesome. People that don't have one won't get it and it can't be explained. There is no point in trying to explain it to Atheists but the phrase "there are no Atheists in a foxhole" does hold water.


Yeah, there's about a billion atheists in the world whose ultimate goal in life achieve and sustain that kind of experience. They're called Buddhists.
2012-08-18 02:56:39 PM
1 votes:
But has the world already ended? Obama for 4 years has completely destroyed america, right?
And if her gets reelected we will all be living out of cardboard boxes, RIGHT??
kats living with dawgs.

/LOL
2012-08-18 02:52:43 PM
1 votes:
There is nothing more anti-american than telling people not to be afraid.
2012-08-18 02:46:54 PM
1 votes:
D@mn it I don't care about all this shiat. I just wanna know what the Sun is going to be aligned with in The Milky Way.
2012-08-18 02:44:46 PM
1 votes:

Honest Bender: great_tigers:See, that's just it. I don't respect your opinion. It's moronic and harmful to us all. I can't help it if you find the truth insulting. Do you want me to sugar coat it for you? Too bad. You're an adult. Deal with it.



Well aren't you a ray of farking sunshine.
2012-08-18 02:26:10 PM
1 votes:

miss diminutive: So I've been stocking my basement with jam, beef jerky and gasoline for nothing? Well that's just farking great.


I read that as "vaseline" and thought..."Ohh! Someone's gonna have a fun apocalypse!"
2012-08-18 02:13:21 PM
1 votes:
unrealitymag.com

Why worry about the apocalypse? You get kick-ass weapons, all you gotta do is walk around and pick up all the plentiful Cram and Squirrel Stew you want. There's monsters all over the place begging to be shot and it makes BANK.

And fashion accessories- the apocalypse is ALL about punk fashion accessories.
2012-08-18 01:49:51 PM
1 votes:

jso2897: I love this clown's reasoning "I have drunk a fifth of Jack Daniels every day for twent years , and the predictions that my liver will fail have not yet come true. Therefore, drinking a fifth of JD every day isn't a stupid thing to do."
Classic ostrich thinking.


Just a Fifth, farking amateur!
2012-08-18 01:48:52 PM
1 votes:
Simple. When the apocalypse does come, I will be safe in my home-made bunker with geothermal heat and power. 2-foot steel door with the lead lining for the radiation, locking mechanism which has a voice-print and retinal-scan lock. Greenhouse for the production of food and O2, fully operational entertainment system with whatever the latest game system is, as well as all the older versions(PS3, PS2, PS1, etc.). And games. Might need games. Against my wishes, I guess I will be becoming a vegan. Bring on the tofu and legumes! The freezer will have (literally) tons of frozen beef and chicken, but is has to last for the rest of time. What about women, you ask? I have shelter, never ending heat/power, and food. I figure snag a woman(or 3) with kids out of one of the shelters and come to a mutually beneficial arrangement.

/library on the scale of that of congress goes without saying
//gotta figure out a perfect(or nearly) water filtration system: every drop has to be recycled
2012-08-18 01:33:35 PM
1 votes:
The Apocalypse was World War II. We've been living in post-apocalyptic times ever since.

/that is, returning to the etymological meaning of "apocalypse"
2012-08-18 01:26:51 PM
1 votes:
I love this clown's reasoning "I have drunk a fifth of Jack Daniels every day for twent years , and the predictions that my liver will fail have not yet come true. Therefore, drinking a fifth of JD every day isn't a stupid thing to do."
Classic ostrich thinking.
2012-08-18 01:24:30 PM
1 votes:
I think mankind is clever enough to destroy the world. Maybe not in MY lifetime, but I'm pretty sure it will happen.
2012-08-18 01:22:46 PM
1 votes:
What about the Reaper?
2012-08-18 01:17:36 PM
1 votes:

BunkyBrewman: 11:11pm?

Is that Eastern Standard Time?


Maybe it will roll across the world, starting in the Pacific. You know, a separate apocalypse for each time zone. We can watch Tokyo, Beijing, New Delhi et al get destroyed live on TV! That would get some high ratings!
2012-08-18 01:00:54 PM
1 votes:
God talked to me one evening, but I was too drunk to remember. something about tipping and virgins, not sure anymore
2012-08-18 12:47:27 PM
1 votes:

ArcadianRefugee: Honest Bender: Your religion is a fairy tail.

Stop, please stop.


Duh, it's farey tail. Lern to spel, dumas.
2012-08-18 12:46:57 PM
1 votes:

KimNorth: You sound like you hate yourself, there for everyone else.


I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. Maybe if you hurl more baseless insults, it'll prove your point better. Whatever that point was...

way south: The funny thing is that intolerance Is one of the greatest destructive forces developed by humanity


Eh... you might have a point if universal intolerance was a bad thing. Is it wrong to be intolerant of murderers? Is it wrong to be intolerant of insects in my house? Is it wrong for me to be intolerant of homophobes?

Is it wrong of me to be intolerant of a mindset that's an anchor around the throat of a progressive society?

Psychohazard: Religious fundamentalism? Atheistic fundamentalism? Both are totally unnecessary.

Some people just like being dicks.


I'm not really sure what point you were trying to make. Are you trying to say I'm an atheistic fundamentalist and therefore a dick? My dickishness aside, I like to think of myself as a scientist. I don't pretend to know the origin of the universe or life or whatever. I recognize that I don't have sufficient data to make a decision.

The problem I have with religion is that, as a whole, it has a detrimental effect on society. It doesn't matter what your personal contribution is. That's irrelevant. By propagating religious beliefs, you're contributing, however small, to the notion that religion is an acceptable thing to have in our society. You're contributing to the validity of the fundamentalists.

Asking me to be tolerant of religious beliefs is, to me, the same as asking me to be tolerant of criminals and hate groups. Because, like, they just have a different opinion, man.
2012-08-18 12:39:51 PM
1 votes:

ArcadianRefugee: Honest Bender: Your religion is a fairy tail.

Stop, please stop.


I'd like a piece of that.
2012-08-18 12:24:36 PM
1 votes:
Now that's a scary thought. The people most likely to survive will be those survivalist nutjobs.
2012-08-18 12:24:23 PM
1 votes:
So, a bunch of guys made some fantastical predictions back in the 70's and 80's, of which none of them have come true and that is somehow "proof" that the end of the world will never come? Seriously?
2012-08-18 12:15:30 PM
1 votes:

great_tigers: Honest Bender: great_tigers: Stop, please stop.

Your religion is a fairy tail. Your adherence to it is a detriment to society, however small.

Stop, please stop.

I respect your opinion. Thanks for the insult.


See, that's just it. I don't respect your opinion. It's moronic and harmful to us all. I can't help it if you find the truth insulting. Do you want me to sugar coat it for you? Too bad. You're an adult. Deal with it.
2012-08-18 12:08:50 PM
1 votes:
2012-08-18 12:04:15 PM
1 votes:

great_tigers: miss diminutive: great_tigers: As a Christian it pains me to hear others say "God told me it will end on this date." Matthew 24:36, I know on this site many individuals look negatively towards religion and it seems that Christianity is the most targeted one. People that make these claims of the return of Christ will happen on such and such a date only fuels more to the fire.

Stop, please stop.

Honest question: how many people do you hear say this? Are these people you know personally or are you referring to televangelists and the like?

The later. My mother in law reads books about the return and how we are so close to it happening.

Link


Since when does anyone ever listen to what their mother-in-law says? :P
2012-08-18 12:00:25 PM
1 votes:

miss diminutive: great_tigers: As a Christian it pains me to hear others say "God told me it will end on this date." Matthew 24:36, I know on this site many individuals look negatively towards religion and it seems that Christianity is the most targeted one. People that make these claims of the return of Christ will happen on such and such a date only fuels more to the fire.

Stop, please stop.

Honest question: how many people do you hear say this? Are these people you know personally or are you referring to televangelists and the like?


The later. My mother in law reads books about the return and how we are so close to it happening.

Link
2012-08-18 12:00:12 PM
1 votes:
Sooner or later, the doomsayers are gonna be right.
2012-08-18 11:58:40 AM
1 votes:

great_tigers: As a Christian it pains me to hear others say "God told me it will end on this date." Matthew 24:36, I know on this site many individuals look negatively towards religion and it seems that Christianity is the most targeted one. People that make these claims of the return of Christ will happen on such and such a date only fuels more to the fire.

Stop, please stop.


I think it's great! I like it when the nutballs get up on a stage and make with the crazy talk.
2012-08-18 11:55:23 AM
1 votes:
2012-08-18 11:47:33 AM
1 votes:
The only things we have to fear is total inaction and over-reaction.
2012-08-18 11:47:15 AM
1 votes:
Please. There's nothing that would please me more than seeing all of the idiots around me suffer and die.
2012-08-18 10:46:50 AM
1 votes:
There's nothing to fear? Then how do I decide who to vote for?
2012-08-18 10:29:46 AM
1 votes:
Really? You're going to pretend that ozone depletion wasn't, and still isn't, a problem?

That's where I stopped reading.
 
Displayed 68 of 68 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report