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(MLive.com)   Family wins $80K after funeral workers lose control of runaway casket winds up crashing and ejecting grandma's corpse   (mlive.com) divider line 103
    More: Scary, Grand Rapids, corpses  
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5101 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Aug 2012 at 10:06 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



103 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-08-17 07:50:03 AM  
Yakety sax played in the background while all this was happening.
 
2012-08-17 08:01:59 AM  
ejecting grandma's corpse

th01.deviantart.net 

/Ejecting Grandma's Corpse would make a great band name
 
2012-08-17 08:02:18 AM  
Where did I see this in a movie? It wasn't Weekend at Bernies, was it?
 
2012-08-17 08:15:30 AM  
That's a hilarious mental image.
 
2012-08-17 08:32:36 AM  

gopher321: That's a hilarious mental image.


You know, as horrifying as that may be to have happen, if I was there I would probably laugh so hard I'd pass out. No matter how close the loved one was, that's some funny shiat right there.

/you can either laugh or cry, laughing is better in my book
 
2012-08-17 08:32:48 AM  

Walker: Yakety sax played in the background while all this was happening.


As long as the family was comprised of busty blonde women who just happened to strip down and run around chasing the casket, I can get behind that.
 
2012-08-17 09:22:32 AM  

BunkyBrewman: Where did I see this in a movie? It wasn't Weekend at Bernies, was it?


Ha, I was thinking the same thing too. I remember a scene from the movie Mousehunt. And I know it's been in a few others too.
 
2012-08-17 09:53:01 AM  
This is a disgrace. No, actually it's an outrage and I'm appalled.

...with all the mundane shiat that everyone with a video camera (which is almost everyone) takes video of, not one person in the congregation had the initiative...no, common decency to record this and put it on youtube? WTF?
 
2012-08-17 09:57:02 AM  
Were there a gay midget and naked guy tripping balls involved?
 
2012-08-17 10:02:44 AM  
 
2012-08-17 10:05:14 AM  
But James' family ended up filing a lawsuit anyway, claiming emotional distress and anxiety and income loss. They alleged James was not in the lavender casket she chose or her favorite purple dress and was missing her glasses.

TRANSLATION: "We gosta ta get paid!"
 
2012-08-17 10:10:09 AM  
jackass did it
 
2012-08-17 10:11:16 AM  
Commas, how do they work?
 
2012-08-17 10:11:18 AM  
Granny Launch, the new Angry Birds knock-off hit casual game!
 
2012-08-17 10:11:58 AM  
Local police report one found dead at the scene.

/window seat, please.
 
2012-08-17 10:12:35 AM  
They also said she "no longer had a peaceful look on her face."

Um in that case I would recommend shooting her in the the head. I'm sure at least someone there had a gun.
 
2012-08-17 10:13:12 AM  
Headline made me think of this.

mosaicyouthportland.files.wordpress.com

/wants "Yakkity Sax" played at his funeral
//Just in-case
 
2012-08-17 10:15:34 AM  
"Wins?"

This isn't a joke, Fark. And it's not a lottery.
 
2012-08-17 10:17:02 AM  
You let Dougal do a funeral?!?
 
2012-08-17 10:18:29 AM  

Spazmojack: "Wins?"

This isn't a joke, Fark. And it's not a lottery.


However, when someone is successful in a lawsuit, it is generally said that they won the suit. So it is not illogical to say that they won an $80k settlement.
 
2012-08-17 10:19:33 AM  
Spazmojack SmartestFunniest 2012-08-17 10:15:34 AM


"Wins?"

This isn't a joke, Fark. And it's not a lottery.




Um...she was already dead, so the actual tragedy already happened. They won big. Money for nothing.
Plus, the visual is hilarious.
 
2012-08-17 10:19:58 AM  
Putting the FUN back into Funeral, y'all come back.
 
2012-08-17 10:20:30 AM  
Runaway body never coming back.
Wrong way, fell off the rack.
The casket should be getting somewhere.
Now gramma's flying through the air...
 
2012-08-17 10:22:07 AM  

mcsestretch: Runaway body never coming back.
Wrong way, fell off the rack.
The casket should be getting somewhere.
Now gramma's flying through the air...


Now all you need is a video full of pictures of dead grandmas.
 
2012-08-17 10:24:11 AM  

doubled99: Spazmojack SmartestFunniest 2012-08-17 10:15:34 AM


"Wins?"

This isn't a joke, Fark. And it's not a lottery.



Um...she was already dead, so the actual tragedy already happened. They won big. Money for nothing.
Plus, the visual is hilarious.


Remind me not to die around you guys.

/just kidding. If any of you EVER figure out a way to make my last day above ground profitable, by all means do so. I give my approval!
 
2012-08-17 10:24:41 AM  
I'm not even supposed to be here today.
 
2012-08-17 10:24:52 AM  
It would never occur to me to sue over a minor incident like this. They didn't even have to see granny hit the floor! Not only did they sue, but now they are complaining that they expected it to go to trial, so I assume they wanted even more money. Are they now going to sue their lawyer for settling?
 
2012-08-17 10:25:05 AM  
media.screened.com.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2012-08-17 10:25:07 AM  

Spazmojack: doubled99: Spazmojack SmartestFunniest 2012-08-17 10:15:34 AM


"Wins?"

This isn't a joke, Fark. And it's not a lottery.



Um...she was already dead, so the actual tragedy already happened. They won big. Money for nothing.
Plus, the visual is hilarious.

Remind me not to die around you guys.

/just kidding. If any of you EVER figure out a way to make my last day above ground profitable, by all means do so. I give my approval!


If you die around us, it isn't flying out of a casket you'll have to worry about.
 
2012-08-17 10:26:50 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-08-17 10:30:55 AM  

Mugato: But James' family ended up filing a lawsuit anyway, claiming emotional distress and anxiety and income loss. They alleged James was not in the lavender casket she chose or her favorite purple dress and was missing her glasses.

TRANSLATION: "We gosta ta get paid!"


This. They didn't even witness the incident, the funeral still went on as planned with no delays, and the only inconvenience they suffered as a result was finding another dress for the body. And now they want to claim the attorney farked up, too? What a bunch of bums.
 
2012-08-17 10:31:05 AM  
The Ayatollah Khomeini approves!

/ now get off my lawn!
 
2012-08-17 10:33:21 AM  
God, I hope this happens at my funeral.

My kids have standing orders to recreate this scene for me
Link
 
2012-08-17 10:33:37 AM  

Hector Felix: It would never occur to me to sue over a minor incident like this. They didn't even have to see granny hit the floor! Not only did they sue, but now they are complaining that they expected it to go to trial, so I assume they wanted even more money. Are they now going to sue their lawyer for settling?


If I were the other attorney I'd say, "yeah, judge, vacating the settlement is fine with us, let's go to trial". Once a jury hears about this it's going to take them all of 30 seconds to come back with "the funeral home waived all expenses, then offered a more than generous settlement, and you're still harping about it? Guess what, you greedy bastards... fark you, you get nothing."
 
2012-08-17 10:34:21 AM  
www.the-editing-room.com



One of my favorite movie scenes of all time.
 
2012-08-17 10:37:29 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: Spazmojack: doubled99: Spazmojack SmartestFunniest 2012-08-17 10:15:34 AM


"Wins?"

This isn't a joke, Fark. And it's not a lottery.



Um...she was already dead, so the actual tragedy already happened. They won big. Money for nothing.
Plus, the visual is hilarious.

Remind me not to die around you guys.

/just kidding. If any of you EVER figure out a way to make my last day above ground profitable, by all means do so. I give my approval!

If you die around us, it isn't flying out of a casket you'll have to worry about.


LEAVE MY BUTTHOLE OUT OF THIS!
 
2012-08-17 10:37:30 AM  
Wanted for questioning
www.weeatfilms.com
 
2012-08-17 10:37:51 AM  

Harvey Manfrenjensenjen: Hector Felix: It would never occur to me to sue over a minor incident like this. They didn't even have to see granny hit the floor! Not only did they sue, but now they are complaining that they expected it to go to trial, so I assume they wanted even more money. Are they now going to sue their lawyer for settling?

If I were the other attorney I'd say, "yeah, judge, vacating the settlement is fine with us, let's go to trial". Once a jury hears about this it's going to take them all of 30 seconds to come back with "the funeral home waived all expenses, then offered a more than generous settlement, and you're still harping about it? Guess what, you greedy bastards... fark you, you get nothing."


+1. fark these greedy bastards.
 
2012-08-17 10:40:21 AM  
Does it matter if granny's corpse has a peaceful look on her face if her soul was already in heaven with Jesus? Or did the mishap cause Him to expel her from heaven and send her to hell, and thus the change of expression?
 
2012-08-17 10:40:40 AM  
So what's the money for?
 
2012-08-17 10:40:45 AM  

jchic: gopher321: That's a hilarious mental image.

You know, as horrifying as that may be to have happen, if I was there I would probably laugh so hard I'd pass out. No matter how close the loved one was, that's some funny shiat right there.

/you can either laugh or cry, laughing is better in my book


You's mah kind o' people
 
2012-08-17 10:40:59 AM  
It might be crappy, or awful, but scary? Grandma's dead. What the fark does she care?

I'm with jchic, if that happened in my family there would be a lot of people pissing themselves laughing.
 
2012-08-17 10:41:03 AM  
threesecondsofdeadair.files.wordpress.com

This sounds like something straight out of one of their skits.
 
2012-08-17 10:41:51 AM  
I didn't even need to see the picture to know they were black. I bet they weren't all that close to Mama and wouldn't give it a second thought if there wasn't a settlement, or a way to stir up some drama around the corner.
 
2012-08-17 10:41:54 AM  
Well, that'll teach the funeral home to be honest and up front with people in the future.

These people sound like d-bags.
 
2012-08-17 10:44:41 AM  

Death_Poot: [threesecondsofdeadair.files.wordpress.com image 500x344]

This sounds like something straight out of one of their skits.


Awesome, I love the Kids in the Hall
 
2012-08-17 10:44:57 AM  
cdn2-b.examiner.com

/blame everything and everyone except me
 
2012-08-17 10:45:04 AM  
Unless the operator was.drunk, this was an accident. Fa. We stop giving people money simply because.an accident happened. fark this civil tort system we have.
 
2012-08-17 10:46:55 AM  
www.americancheerleader.com
 
2012-08-17 10:52:39 AM  
Coffin rolled all the way down main street, up the steps and through the front door of the drug store. It continued through the store, slammed into the pharmacist counter, stood upright, and opened up revealing Granny.
The pharmacist pops up from behind the counter asking "Can I help you?"
Granny replies "You got anything that can stop this coffin?"

/rimshot
 
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