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(AZ Family)   Never take a Cosmo quiz about ex-lovers with your wife   (azfamily.com) divider line 175
    More: Obvious, Noelle Clough, stabs, Cosmopolitan  
•       •       •

15425 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Aug 2012 at 10:42 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-17 07:49:32 AM  
Never take a Cosmo quiz about ex-lovers with your wife

FTFY Subby
 
2012-08-17 07:52:07 AM  
Next month's Cosmo features:

6 New Ways To Stab Your Husband
 
2012-08-17 08:30:45 AM  
If your woman ever asks about your sex life before marriage.

img99.imageshack.us
 
Pud
2012-08-17 08:46:05 AM  
Isn't that the quiz where you fess up to having 6 lovers before her only to find out you are #382 for her (that she remembers anyway)
 
2012-08-17 09:06:37 AM  
www.rockofages.uk.com
 
2012-08-17 09:11:08 AM  
This is why I have a strict DADT policy. I actually had a woman I started dating a little while back ask me how many women I'd been with. I'm no Wilt Chamberlain, but by 40 who the hell can even remember? There were a couple of years there after I got divorced that are just a blur.
 
2012-08-17 09:12:27 AM  

Sybarite: by 40 who the hell can even remember?


Non-sluts
 
2012-08-17 09:45:10 AM  
dvdmedia.ign.com
Something like...37
 
2012-08-17 10:45:33 AM  
1. Did him
2. Farked him
3. Blew him
4. Handy in the pool
5. Boffed him
6. Bonked him
7. Ran him
8. Front door, back door, whipped skull
9. Did him
...
 
2012-08-17 10:45:52 AM  
3 I am a sad and lonely man.
 
2012-08-17 10:46:04 AM  
Done in one.
 
2012-08-17 10:46:07 AM  

Ennuipoet: [dvdmedia.ign.com image 444x250]
Something like...37


This. 37.

Try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot!
 
2012-08-17 10:47:39 AM  
is this guy farking new or something?
 
2012-08-17 10:48:27 AM  

Pud: Isn't that the quiz where you fess up to having 6 lovers before her only to find out you are #382 for her (that she remembers anyway)


Yeah.. pretty much that one.

Learned that the hard way. Once she was up to HIGH double digits (that she was admitting to) I stopped caring and got out.

And she wondered why she she was called "whore" in high school. :eye roll:
 
2012-08-17 10:48:43 AM  

capitafun: Ennuipoet: [dvdmedia.ign.com image 444x250]
Something like...37

This. 37.

Try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot!


in a row?!?!?!
 
2012-08-17 10:49:42 AM  
Most wives are your ex-lovers so I don't get this.
 
2012-08-17 10:49:45 AM  
As far as poor choices go, I thought this was obviously right up there with never getting into a land war in Asia.
 
2012-08-17 10:51:24 AM  
Exclusive: How to make you man bleed in bed!
 
2012-08-17 10:52:19 AM  

BurnShrike: Next month's Cosmo features:

6 New Ways To Stab Your Husband


7 things she did before but won't do with you
 
2012-08-17 10:57:03 AM  
FTA: "She allegedly wound up stabbing her spouse in the back with a 4-inch blade as he was walking away. "

In the back? That's bad form.
 
2012-08-17 10:59:07 AM  

vudukungfu: capitafun: Ennuipoet: [dvdmedia.ign.com image 444x250]
Something like...37

This. 37.

Try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot!

in a row?!?!?!


Just be glad I'm not number 38.
 
2012-08-17 11:00:23 AM  
Eh.....Merely further proof of the magazine's role in the continuing decline of Western civilization.
 
2012-08-17 11:00:55 AM  
Clough reportedly told police that her husband threw two knives on the floor and told her to stab him.

Next time just ask her to make you a sammich.

/Not guilty on account of obeying her husband.
 
2012-08-17 11:01:56 AM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: FTA: "She allegedly wound up stabbing her spouse in the back with a 4-inch blade as he was walking away. "

In the back? That's bad form.


img.buzznet.com
 
2012-08-17 11:01:58 AM  
"This back isn't going to stab itself!"
 
2012-08-17 11:02:46 AM  

Pud: Isn't that the quiz where you fess up to having 6 lovers before her only to find out you are #382 for her (that she remembers anyway)


They don't all count.
 
2012-08-17 11:02:50 AM  

Pud: Isn't that the quiz where you fess up to having 6 lovers before her only to find out you are #382 for her (that she remembers anyway)


It's not all lack of memory. In their minds, a certain number of them just don't count. (one-nights stands, I was drunk, etc)
 
2012-08-17 11:03:03 AM  

capitafun: Ennuipoet: [dvdmedia.ign.com image 444x250]
Something like...37

This. 37.

Try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot!


Hey! You! Get back here!
 
2012-08-17 11:03:49 AM  

Boudica's War Tampon: 1. Did him
2. Farked him
3. Blew him
4. Handy in the pool
5. Boffed him
6. Bonked him
7. Ran him
8. Front door, back door, whipped skull
9. Did him
...


ran him?
 
2012-08-17 11:04:11 AM  
see?, told you
 
2012-08-17 11:05:01 AM  
"You're young, you're drunk, you're in bed, you have knives; shiat happens." - Angelina Jolie
 
2012-08-17 11:05:02 AM  
I had one bf who wanted to know all about my past relationships... and not in a jealous way. We didn't last.

I also had one bf who was so jealous/possesive he swore I had slept with all of my male friends.... who in turn were all of his friends, too; seeing as we had grown up together. We didn't last either.
(answer: none)

All that matters is the present, people.
 
2012-08-17 11:07:28 AM  

CapeFearCadaver: I had one bf who wanted to know all about my past relationships... and not in a jealous way. We didn't last.

I also had one bf who was so jealous/possesive he swore I had slept with all of my male friends.... who in turn were all of his friends, too; seeing as we had grown up together. We didn't last either.
(answer: none)

All that matters is the present, people.


I am presently interested in hearing more about your past.
 
2012-08-17 11:08:27 AM  
Noelle Clough, 22

Well, there's your problem right there.
 
2012-08-17 11:10:32 AM  
Also, am I the only one who had the "how many?" conversation and neither side got upset? We're neither teenagers nor stupid, that there were others was assumed.
 
2012-08-17 11:10:51 AM  
if someone in the relationship ever asks, you can be aware that someone isn't very experienced with relationships.
 
2012-08-17 11:11:54 AM  

kvinesknows: Boudica's War Tampon: 1. Did him
2. Farked him
3. Blew him
4. Handy in the pool
5. Boffed him
6. Bonked him
7. Ran him
8. Front door, back door, whipped skull
9. Did him
...

ran him?


I was watching a dating show late one night and a couple dated two other people to see if they should stay in the relationship or not. The guy is watching his girl talk about this marvelous date with this beautiful guy when her boyfriend asks "Did you run him?" "Oh, you bet!"

It means to have quick nasty sex just for the hell of it. Lucky, lucky luck, luck, lucky bastard
 
2012-08-17 11:12:46 AM  

thurstonxhowell: Also, am I the only one who had the "how many?" conversation and neither side got upset? We're neither teenagers nor stupid, that there were others was assumed.


Why discuss this at all? As long as your partner has no STD's what does it matter?
That topic rarely benefits a relationship.
 
2012-08-17 11:14:50 AM  

Boudica's War Tampon: kvinesknows: Boudica's War Tampon: 1. Did him
2. Farked him
3. Blew him
4. Handy in the pool
5. Boffed him
6. Bonked him
7. Ran him
8. Front door, back door, whipped skull
9. Did him
...

ran him?

I was watching a dating show late one night and a couple dated two other people to see if they should stay in the relationship or not. The guy is watching his girl talk about this marvelous date with this beautiful guy when her boyfriend asks "Did you run him?" "Oh, you bet!"

It means to have quick nasty sex just for the hell of it. Lucky, lucky luck, luck, lucky bastard


(unzips pants)

go on.....
 
2012-08-17 11:16:57 AM  

BurnShrike: Next month's Cosmo features:

6 New Ways To Stab Your Husband


6 Hot Tips That Will Make Him GUSH!
 
2012-08-17 11:19:13 AM  
media.tumblr.com
 
2012-08-17 11:19:49 AM  

AbbeySomeone: thurstonxhowell: Also, am I the only one who had the "how many?" conversation and neither side got upset? We're neither teenagers nor stupid, that there were others was assumed.

Why discuss this at all? As long as your partner has no STD's what does it matter?
That topic rarely benefits a relationship.


This comes from the "total honesty" bullshiat that some "experts" think is absolutely essential to a healthy relationship. It isn't. I don't need to know who/how my wife once boinked, just as she doesn't need to know my conquests. Contrary to what some believe, your SO do not need to know everything their is to know about you. If he/she is becoming too inquisitive about this topic, he/she is looking for ammo.
 
2012-08-17 11:20:26 AM  
My husband thinks it's ridiculous that I read Cosmo. I tell him that the health articles are really helpful, and the rest is just hilarious drama. It's my once-a-month vice. As far as the quizzes go, they'e just more fuel for the drama.
 
2012-08-17 11:22:38 AM  
no answer is usually the best answer. There's also the Goodfellas way---always keep your mouth shut, and never rat on your friends. Or if you feel compelled to give an answer, answer with something completely absurd and changes the subject.Example "do I look fat in this?" reply "I like to burn things"
 
2012-08-17 11:24:34 AM  

baltimoreblonde: My husband thinks it's ridiculous that I read Cosmo. I tell him that the health articles are really helpful, and the rest is just hilarious drama. It's my once-a-month vice. As far as the quizzes go, they'e just more fuel for the drama.


I begged my wife to stop reading this magazine. I feel like it does zero to help the causes of women. She has your exact same position.
 
2012-08-17 11:26:46 AM  

capitafun: baltimoreblonde: My husband thinks it's ridiculous that I read Cosmo. I tell him that the health articles are really helpful, and the rest is just hilarious drama. It's my once-a-month vice. As far as the quizzes go, they'e just more fuel for the drama.

I begged my wife to stop reading this magazine. I feel like it does zero to help the causes of women. She has your exact same position.


A friend of mine's wife gets Cosmo because she had a chance to get a free subscription to one magazine out of a list, and that's the one she chose. As an extra bonus, she signed up in his name. 

He says some parts of it are pretty hilarious.
 
2012-08-17 11:27:30 AM  
Maybe he likes to do it someplace really uncomfortable
 
2012-08-17 11:28:26 AM  
Hell, when I was in my early twenties I was dating this Arab girl and every single month out odd the blue she would get poised at me and start telling for absolutely no reason. It was always about how I acted, how I didn't live her enough or how I didn't respect her in bed (what clued her in?) So, come to find out she subscribed to Cosmo and every month she would take one of their stupid quizzes and apparently I failed each one and she would blow up at me. She was very wealthy and the last thing I ever said to her was "all the money in the world isn't worth YOU"

Sybarite: This is why I have a strict DADT policy. I actually had a woman I started dating a little while back ask me how many women I'd been with. I'm no Wilt Chamberlain, but by 40 who the hell can even remember? There were a couple of years there after I got divorced that are just a blur.


THIS my wife and I discussed our previous lovers once, thankfully she is a very reasonable woman and we can broach such subjects without a problem. Turns out I couldn't remember every single one and had to add a few over the course of a day or so as I remembered them, or I should say the event. Sadly, there are a few I couldn't tell you their name and probably wouldn't recognize them if I ran into them. I'm 45 and have finally realized that it doesn't matter. Every woman I was with and every guy my wife was with previously molded us into the person we are today. I love my wife dearly and thankful she is perfect the way she is, so every experience she ever had made her into the person she is today and the only thing that matters is she is wearing my ring and married me, the past holds little interest to me.
 
2012-08-17 11:29:30 AM  

JackieRabbit:

This comes from the "total honesty" bullshiat that some "experts" think is absolutely essential to a healthy relationship. It isn't. I don't need to know who/how my wife once boinked, just as she doesn't need to know my conquests. Contrary to what some believe, your SO do not need to know everything their is to know about you. If he/she is becoming too inquisitive about this topic, he/she is looking for ammo.


It is, however, important to be honest about the topic. Yes, there's something there. Are you sure you want to know this? Not really? You know, maybe you shouldn't worry about it then.

It does no good to both sit around wondering about what's being kept from you. It's not really a bad thing to be like, well, wife says she was ... farking amazing in high school ... I mean, in a BIG way ... and that's all well and good but she's calmed down now and no need to worry about all that. You don't have to follow up with "okay so who, how many, how did every last one of these start, were any of them your teachers, older men, younger guys, did you get gangbanged..." Just like, oh cool, my wife experienced a vigorous fermentation and then mellowed into a pleasant, sparkling pilsner after a few years of aging.
 
2012-08-17 11:29:37 AM  

baltimoreblonde: and the rest is just hilarious


I love the "confession" articles. they are a hoot!
 
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