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(Big 1059)   TSA releases list of items confiscated. "To be clear, TSA notes the chastity belt was just detected, not confiscated, as they are not banned"   (big1059.com) divider line 42
    More: Amusing, TSA, grenade launcher, electrical tape, houseplants, grenades, explosives  
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6784 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Aug 2012 at 1:14 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-08-16 01:15:46 PM  
In before the "your didlo" memo.
 
2012-08-16 01:17:17 PM  

vudukungfu: In before the "your didlo" memo.


"An Chastity Belt", not "Your/His or Her Chastity belt".
 
2012-08-16 01:17:36 PM  
i6.photobucket.com

Dammit, just a little too late
 
2012-08-16 01:18:55 PM  
"..walker with mounted knife, chainsaw..."

This reads like a sequel to Bubba Ho Tep.
 
2012-08-16 01:22:41 PM  
Did they note a convenient urine colander on said chastity belt?
 
2012-08-16 01:22:54 PM  
What kind of moron doesn't triple check to make sure their firearm is unloaded before deciding to fly?
 
2012-08-16 01:23:43 PM  

meat0918: What kind of moron doesn't triple check to make sure their firearm is unloaded before deciding to fly?


A triple moran
 
2012-08-16 01:23:43 PM  
A "viable" cannonball?

They're confiscating steel balls now?
 
2012-08-16 01:24:39 PM  

nmdrkangl: A "viable" cannonball?

They're confiscating steel balls now?


All I know is when I flew recently, they weren't worried about my big brass ones.
 
2012-08-16 01:25:47 PM  
Oh noez -- another one of them there kinky threads!
 
2012-08-16 01:26:43 PM  
I thought "why are we linking to an article about an article" so I clicked the source link and I get a bully ad asking me to sign up for their newsletter and a pop-up ad at the same time.

Shoulda gone with the Gizmodo link, which was actually derived from the TSA blog directly.
 
2012-08-16 01:26:50 PM  

nmdrkangl: A "viable" cannonball?

They're confiscating steel balls now?


That's why I can't fly anymore.
 
2012-08-16 01:26:55 PM  

meat0918: What kind of moron doesn't triple check to make sure their firearm is unloaded before deciding to fly?


An unloaded gun is rather useless. Maybe someone wanted to use it on the plane.
 
2012-08-16 01:27:53 PM  
Bear mace? I don't recall seeing any bears on the plane except for those cute stuffed ones
 
2012-08-16 01:28:25 PM  
Funny how they fail to mention "passengers dignity" on the confiscated list.

www.andyellwood.com
 
2012-08-16 01:28:50 PM  
Oh, great. Now the terrorists know they can put bombs in metal chastity belts and blow their mooshed genitals, not to mention several pounds of shrapnel, through your head at 30,000 feet.

I say anybody who wears a chastity belt is insane to start with (or the prisoner of somebody who is insane) and should not be allowed to go home, let alone fly.

There's more than one kind of tough love.
 
2012-08-16 01:29:11 PM  

filter: An unloaded gun is rather useless.


Same can be said about the TSA.
 
2012-08-16 01:30:19 PM  
Article fails to mention it was just a copy of World of Warcraft.
 
2012-08-16 01:36:12 PM  
But according to the Fark Terrorism Experts™, the TSA does nothing, should be dismantled, and all the workers be tried for treason!
 
2012-08-16 01:36:17 PM  
Welcome to the Mile Deny Club
 
2012-08-16 01:37:43 PM  
If you're interested in "What the hell are people trying to take on planes?" aspect, the actual TSA blog is pretty well done.

And yes, people tried to get these on board a plane.

2.bp.blogspot.com

And I'm not worried about the people who forget they have guns in their carry on bags. It's the ones who try to conceal things other than drugs. You can check guns in your luggage, just be sure it's unloaded.
 
2012-08-16 01:42:36 PM  
They forgot to add jewelry, cash, electronics, lunches, beverages, formula and breast milk in bottles, medical devices, knitting needles, nail clippers, medications, Swiss Army Knives....
 
2012-08-16 01:45:01 PM  
So, that's like .0002 per cent of people making us have to put up with this Bullshiat?

I say if you get caught with a gun in security, everybody behind you gets to take a free punch.


\Forever
\\Even after your dead
\\\Didn't see any boxcutters on that list
 
2012-08-16 01:46:26 PM  

Jaws_Victim: But according to the Fark Terrorism Experts™, the TSA does nothing


Don't take Farkers opinions about it, take the guy who DOES have access to your precious SSI and has seen the numbers. Not sure of John Mica is a Farker or not, but I don't want to destroy your precious bravado.
 
2012-08-16 01:47:01 PM  

I May Be Crazy But...: nmdrkangl: A "viable" cannonball?

They're confiscating steel balls now?

All I know is when I flew recently, they weren't worried about my big brass ones.


That's because you left them at home
 
2012-08-16 01:51:45 PM  

LessO2: filter: An unloaded gun is rather useless.

Same can be said about the TSA.


Are you suggesting that the TSA agents need to be loaded to do their job, if so where can I sign up.
 
2012-08-16 01:53:32 PM  
Guinevere used to have this problem. She always had hassles with the TSA because every time her husband Arthur rode off on a crusade he'd lock her up in a special forged steel chastity belt crafted by Merlin. It looked like a normal chastity belt except it had a hidden, spring-loaded guillotine-like blade in front. It was attached to a hair trigger and the least contact with the chastity belt would cause the razor-sharp blade to come slicing down.

So after one of his crusades Arthur returned to Camelot and assembled all of the knights of the Round Table in the courtyard, and ordered them to drop their doublets. There before his eyes, to his horror, he beheld the entire contingent of his men, the very flower of English chivalry, each and every one of them ripped asunder, horribly maimed by Merlin's infernal contraption. Each and every one of them, that is, except for Sir Lancelot. There stood Lancelot, smiling, his manhood quite intact and unharmed, proudly dangling in the breeze. Arthur approached Lancelot and said, "Sir Lancelot, I must admit I had my doubts about what you and Lady Guinevere might have been up to while I was away on my crusade. But now I see that you, only you, of all the knights of the Round Table, were deserving of my trust. Can you see it in your heart to forgive me for doubting you?"

To which Lancelot replied,

"Af OK yuh mayefty, o hahd feeyinks, I fohgih yuh"

/he was French after all
 
2012-08-16 02:00:07 PM  

LessO2: Jaws_Victim: But according to the Fark Terrorism Experts™, the TSA does nothing

Don't take Farkers opinions about it, take the guy who DOES have access to your precious SSI and has seen the numbers. Not sure of John Mica is a Farker or not, but I don't want to destroy your precious bravado.


Seen it. Complaining about how the rules have changed since his bare bones implementation accomplishes very little. He does nothing other than recommend what many Farkers have done, which is to stop screening and return to what we had before, which was privatized screening. Which also had the hijackings all the way up until 9/11, and I may remind you there has been none since 2001. In the US, at least.
 
2012-08-16 02:01:58 PM  
Wait, what? Are they talking about a Robin Hood Men in Tights kind of chastity belt or something?

4.bp.blogspot.com

Or one of these monstrosities?

i984.photobucket.comi984.photobucket.com

And this one actually looks somewhat pretty...

i984.photobucket.com

but from what I understand, modern "chastity belts" don't look like and aren't made of anything like that.
 
2012-08-16 02:05:46 PM  

Jaws_Victim: LessO2: Jaws_Victim: But according to the Fark Terrorism Experts™, the TSA does nothing

Don't take Farkers opinions about it, take the guy who DOES have access to your precious SSI and has seen the numbers. Not sure of John Mica is a Farker or not, but I don't want to destroy your precious bravado.

Seen it. Complaining about how the rules have changed since his bare bones implementation accomplishes very little. He does nothing other than recommend what many Farkers have done, which is to stop screening and return to what we had before, which was privatized screening. Which also had the hijackings all the way up until 9/11, and I may remind you there has been none since 2001. In the US, at least.



Heh heh heh, speaking of "seen it," your argument is outdated as well.

The fact of the matter is that the private screeners on 9/11 did NOTHING wrong. In fact a couple of them got secondary screening. The FAA was in charge of screening guidelines on 9/11 and before, they gave the SOP to the private companies.

You can "remind" us all you want, but I can also remind you that there are numerous reports out there that shows you guys miss anywhere from 60-90% of the prohibited items the Red Teams breeze by you.
 
2012-08-16 02:14:32 PM  

LessO2: Jaws_Victim: LessO2: Jaws_Victim: But according to the Fark Terrorism Experts™, the TSA does nothing

Don't take Farkers opinions about it, take the guy who DOES have access to your precious SSI and has seen the numbers. Not sure of John Mica is a Farker or not, but I don't want to destroy your precious bravado.

Seen it. Complaining about how the rules have changed since his bare bones implementation accomplishes very little. He does nothing other than recommend what many Farkers have done, which is to stop screening and return to what we had before, which was privatized screening. Which also had the hijackings all the way up until 9/11, and I may remind you there has been none since 2001. In the US, at least.


Heh heh heh, speaking of "seen it," your argument is outdated as well.

The fact of the matter is that the private screeners on 9/11 did NOTHING wrong. In fact a couple of them got secondary screening. The FAA was in charge of screening guidelines on 9/11 and before, they gave the SOP to the private companies.

You can "remind" us all you want, but I can also remind you that there are numerous reports out there that shows you guys miss anywhere from 60-90% of the prohibited items the Red Teams breeze by you.


On 9/11 perhaps. What about every single other hijacking incident that has happened on US soil? And didn't the planes still come down on 9/11. My argument isn't outdated until another hijacking successfully occurs.

Thank you for the reminder. How many of those have brought down planes or hurt passengers on a plane again?
 
2012-08-16 02:18:39 PM  

Jaws_Victim: My argument isn't outdated until another hijacking successfully occurs.


Sounds like you think another hijacking will occur. Not surprising, given the irrefutable data that's out there.
 
2012-08-16 02:26:47 PM  

LessO2: Jaws_Victim: My argument isn't outdated until another hijacking successfully occurs.

Sounds like you think another hijacking will occur. Not surprising, given the irrefutable data that's out there.


I disagree, I was simply stating context to my argument. I can't disagree with your irrefutable data since you haven't posted any. In the end, it doesn't matter. I do want you to know that if you came through my checkpoint I would try to treat you with the utmost respect and dignity I try to give to every other passenger, regardless of treatment to me.
 
2012-08-16 02:31:57 PM  

Jaws_Victim: I do want you to know that if you came through my checkpoint I would try to treat you with the utmost respect and dignity I try to give to every other passenger, regardless of treatment to me.


And I appreciate that. I do treat every screener as a human being.

On the data:
"We've had a series of reports actually going back several years from the inspector general, from the General Accounting Office, and our own TSA Office of Inspection, where they do, as you describe, covert testing," [TSA Administrator John] Pistole acknowledged to George Stephanopoulos last month during an interview on Good Morning America. "And unfortunately, [undercover testers] have been very successful over the years." 

You can click on the link for the rest of the article.
 
2012-08-16 02:44:01 PM  

LessO2: Jaws_Victim: I do want you to know that if you came through my checkpoint I would try to treat you with the utmost respect and dignity I try to give to every other passenger, regardless of treatment to me.

And I appreciate that. I do treat every screener as a human being.

On the data:
"We've had a series of reports actually going back several years from the inspector general, from the General Accounting Office, and our own TSA Office of Inspection, where they do, as you describe, covert testing," [TSA Administrator John] Pistole acknowledged to George Stephanopoulos last month during an interview on Good Morning America. "And unfortunately, [undercover testers] have been very successful over the years." 

You can click on the link for the rest of the article.


I've also read this, and can't comment on it. Wouldn't want to get fired. I will say that no planes have been hurt as a result of the testing however.
 
2012-08-16 02:51:25 PM  

Jaws_Victim: I've also read this, and can't comment on it. Wouldn't want to get fired. I will say that no planes have been hurt as a result of the testing however.



And as the article says, if there was a massive success rate in finding things, you can bet the TSA would be boasting about it.

In the end, it says the TSA still has problems finding prohibited items.
 
2012-08-16 03:03:31 PM  

seapig: Wait, what? Are they talking about a Robin Hood Men in Tights kind of chastity belt or something?

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 272x204]

Or one of these monstrosities?

[i984.photobucket.com image 375x500][i984.photobucket.com image 400x430]

And this one actually looks somewhat pretty...

[i984.photobucket.com image 375x500]

but from what I understand, modern "chastity belts" don't look like and aren't made of anything like that.


Well they're all "modern". Period medieval chastity belts are a myth. There are "old" ones but they date to the Renaissance. They were few and appear to either be for fetishwear or just fiction.
 
2012-08-16 03:39:32 PM  
Well, shoot! A feller could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff!
 
2012-08-16 03:41:26 PM  

Jaws_Victim: He does nothing other than recommend what many Farkers have done, which is to stop screening and return to what we had before, which was privatized screening. Which also had the hijackings all the way up until 9/11, and I may remind you there has been none since 2001. In the US, at least.


So because we haven't happened to have had another 9/11 (when there wasn't one in the first 97 years of aviation, either), TSA is awesome and any criticism is totally unfair?

I had cereal for breakfast this morning, and the sun hasn't exploded. You're welcome.
 
2012-08-16 04:25:42 PM  

Jaws_Victim: LessO2: Jaws_Victim: LessO2: Jaws_Victim: But according to the Fark Terrorism Experts™, the TSA does nothing

Don't take Farkers opinions about it, take the guy who DOES have access to your precious SSI and has seen the numbers. Not sure of John Mica is a Farker or not, but I don't want to destroy your precious bravado.

Seen it. Complaining about how the rules have changed since his bare bones implementation accomplishes very little. He does nothing other than recommend what many Farkers have done, which is to stop screening and return to what we had before, which was privatized screening. Which also had the hijackings all the way up until 9/11, and I may remind you there has been none since 2001. In the US, at least.


Heh heh heh, speaking of "seen it," your argument is outdated as well.

The fact of the matter is that the private screeners on 9/11 did NOTHING wrong. In fact a couple of them got secondary screening. The FAA was in charge of screening guidelines on 9/11 and before, they gave the SOP to the private companies.

You can "remind" us all you want, but I can also remind you that there are numerous reports out there that shows you guys miss anywhere from 60-90% of the prohibited items the Red Teams breeze by you.

On 9/11 perhaps. What about every single other hijacking incident that has happened on US soil? And didn't the planes still come down on 9/11. My argument isn't outdated until another hijacking successfully occurs.

Thank you for the reminder. How many of those have brought down planes or hurt passengers on a plane again?


Another hijacking hasn't occurred primarily because the American public wouldn't allow it. We know the rules of hijacking have changed, and will no longer passively comply with their demands. Systematically killing the leadership and training facilities of Al Qaeda also contributed. And, probably the 3rd most effective tactic was hardened cockpit doors.

The attacks that have been foiled (underwear bomber, shoe bomber) were thwarted by passengers, not TSA.

But hey, if you want to claim that confiscating my Jack Daniels and fondling my balls was primarily responsible, so be it. There's no data to back that claim, but go ahead and make it.
 
2012-08-16 06:48:06 PM  

ImpendingCynic: Jaws_Victim: He does nothing other than recommend what many Farkers have done, which is to stop screening and return to what we had before, which was privatized screening. Which also had the hijackings all the way up until 9/11, and I may remind you there has been none since 2001. In the US, at least.

So because we haven't happened to have had another 9/11 (when there wasn't one in the first 97 years of aviation, either), TSA is awesome and any criticism is totally unfair?

I had cereal for breakfast this morning, and the sun hasn't exploded. You're welcome.


Criticism is needed to ensure changes happen. My other favorite fallacy in regards to TSA is the question "Well if they are doing so much good, how much terrorism have they thwarted? HUH?" If you say that the organization literally does NO good, (which the majority of people seem to claim) there is no defending it because everyone has already made up their minds.

stewbert: Jaws_Victim: LessO2: Jaws_Victim: LessO2: Jaws_Victim: But according to the Fark Terrorism Experts™, the TSA does nothing

Don't take Farkers opinions about it, take the guy who DOES have access to your precious SSI and has seen the numbers. Not sure of John Mica is a Farker or not, but I don't want to destroy your precious bravado.

Seen it. Complaining about how the rules have changed since his bare bones implementation accomplishes very little. He does nothing other than recommend what many Farkers have done, which is to stop screening and return to what we had before, which was privatized screening. Which also had the hijackings all the way up until 9/11, and I may remind you there has been none since 2001. In the US, at least.


Heh heh heh, speaking of "seen it," your argument is outdated as well.

The fact of the matter is that the private screeners on 9/11 did NOTHING wrong. In fact a couple of them got secondary screening. The FAA was in charge of screening guidelines on 9/11 and before, they gave the SOP to the private companies.

You can "remind" us all you want, but I can also remind you that there are numerous reports out there that shows you guys miss anywhere from 60-90% of the prohibited items the Red Teams breeze by you.

On 9/11 perhaps. What about every single other hijacking incident that has happened on US soil? And didn't the planes still come down on 9/11. My argument isn't outdated until another hijacking successfully occurs.

Thank you for the reminder. How many of those have brought down planes or hurt passengers on a plane again?

Another hijacking hasn't occurred primarily because the American public wouldn't allow it. We know the rules of hijacking have changed, and will no longer passively comply with their demands. Systematically killing the leadership and training facilities of Al Qaeda also contributed. And, probably the 3rd most effective tactic was hardened cockpit doors.

The attacks that have been foiled (underwear bomber, ...


Did you not just read that they found and confiscated numerous items of interest in the blog? From January alone? Including IED's and loaded firearms. Sure there's no data they were DEFINITELY going to use those items to harm the plane or people on it, (How can we know what they were going to do if they didn't do it?) but I'm sure they were trying to bring them on just because IED's are such a common tool of everyday life, right?
 
2012-08-16 07:03:13 PM  

Jaws_Victim: Did you not just read that they found and confiscated numerous items of interest in the blog? From January alone? Including IED's and loaded firearms. Sure there's no data they were DEFINITELY going to use those items to harm the plane or people on it, (How can we know what they were going to do if they didn't do it?) but I'm sure they were trying to bring them on just because IED's are such a common tool of everyday life, right?



The thing is, the TSA, and you know this, takes pictures and files reports when it finds things such as guns or IEDs. Especially since they're subject to, in addition to criminal court, the kangaroo court the TSA has (governed by the Coast Guard) to impose TSA monetary penalties.

The point I'm arriving at is this: The TSA investigates the individual carrying these things and also determines whether the person has nefarious intentions (read: terrorist). Given the TSA hasn't sounded the PR alarm over any of the IED or guns finds, the answer to your question is, yes, people do carry IEDs for their own lives.
 
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