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(Topless Robot)   The ten most-bizarre, "WTF" video game cover art: DOS edition   (toplessrobot.com) divider line 74
    More: Amusing, cover art, Genesis  
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8735 clicks; posted to Geek » on 16 Aug 2012 at 12:57 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-16 09:31:05 AM  
i522.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-16 10:23:08 AM  
Not really WTF, but since this is about old games...

i47.tinypic.com


/That's right biatches
 
2012-08-16 01:03:55 PM  
www.vgmastersclub.com

not really bizzare... but, I mean... come on!
 
2012-08-16 01:03:56 PM  
www.waitingforgo.com
 
2012-08-16 01:04:18 PM  
Heartlight elf is watching you...
www.toplessrobot.com
 
2012-08-16 01:04:57 PM  

Sybarite: [i522.photobucket.com image 420x482]


Back in those days if I had been given a box containing those three games, specifically, I might have literally turned into a frantic middle-aged black man with dreds. Those were three of the best games of their time.
 
2012-08-16 01:06:08 PM  

UberDave: Not really WTF, but since this is about old games...


Indeed...
www.aggrogate.com
 
2012-08-16 01:06:08 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
The original 1987 version. Played this on an Apple IIGS back in the day.
 
2012-08-16 01:11:15 PM  

Kuroshin: Sybarite: [i522.photobucket.com image 420x482]

Back in those days if I had been given a box containing those three games, specifically, I might have literally turned into a frantic middle-aged black man with dreds. Those were three of the best games of their time.


Woh, hold up now. Were?
 
2012-08-16 01:13:26 PM  
Okay that was very funny. Great writing. had me in tears.
 
2012-08-16 01:19:03 PM  
Ooooh yeeeaahh!


i2.photobucket.com

i2.photobucket.com

i2.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-16 01:20:11 PM  
What is up with all the illiterate headlines today? Summer school is over already?
 
2012-08-16 01:22:54 PM  
www.toplessrobot.com

This looks like Israel vs Palestine: The Game
 
2012-08-16 01:23:14 PM  

Libertrollian: Heartlight elf is watching you...
[www.toplessrobot.com image 210x250]


That game was really fun, one of the more solid puzzle games of the time. Great music, too (at least in the DOS version.)
 
2012-08-16 01:26:37 PM  
img812.imageshack.us

Remember the original SimCity box? It looks like a Gameboy-sized piece of hardware. One of the rare cases where the gameplay was more interesting than the box art.

Thankfully, San Francisco hasn't seen any tornadoes lately.
 
2012-08-16 01:30:36 PM  
I'm going to go ahead and get this one out of the way.

pics.mobygames.com
 
2012-08-16 01:32:15 PM  

ThatDarkFellow: I'm going to go ahead and get this one out of the way.


And to tie this into the theme of the article, here's the DOS Mega Man stage select screen.

www.mobygames.com

THIS JUST GOT REAL SON

WHO BETTER THAN VOLTMAN?
 
2012-08-16 01:32:36 PM  
I am a huge fan of the art work on classic video game boxes. The Atari 2600 probably had the best cover art.
 
2012-08-16 01:35:08 PM  
where is this one on the list?

robertlbryant.com
 
2012-08-16 01:35:56 PM  

pute kisses like a man: [www.vgmastersclub.com image 400x550]

not really bizzare... but, I mean... come on!


Nintendo was marketing to (jebus, I hate this name they gave themselves) Gaymers 20 years ahead of schedule.
 
2012-08-16 01:36:32 PM  

Great Janitor: I am a huge fan of the art work on classic video game boxes. The Atari 2600 probably had the best cover art.


padinga.com

cdn3.spong.com

cdn2.spong.com

No question. They managed to even make blackjack, checkers, and other dull activities look cool, especially relative to the graphics. Haunted House? Definitely an aid to the imagination. And I'll never forget the smile on the dragon from Adventure.
 
2012-08-16 01:37:43 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com

WAT
 
2012-08-16 01:38:34 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

"Launch... launch... launch fighters."
 
2012-08-16 01:38:53 PM  

Fano: [25.media.tumblr.com image 402x546]

WAT


Sodomy Demons are attacking a clown.
 
2012-08-16 01:39:48 PM  
wpcontent.answcdn.com

Another vote for highest ratio of misleadingly awesome cover to crummy game. I don't recall even being allowed to shoot things in that one.
 
2012-08-16 01:42:03 PM  

Fano: No question. They managed to even make blackjack, checkers, and other dull activities look cool, especially relative to the graphics. Haunted House? Definitely an aid to the imagination. And I'll never forget the smile on the dragon from Adventure.


And I'll never forget the 2600 version of Bioshock. Man, that game was ahead of its time.
 
2012-08-16 01:44:00 PM  

Bag of Hammers: [www.toplessrobot.com image 420x538]

This looks like Israel vs Palestine: The Game


Reminded me of General Chaos

t3.gstatic.com
 
2012-08-16 01:44:16 PM  
static.gamesradar.com

gallery.guetech.org

Goatse the game?
 
2012-08-16 01:44:43 PM  

MrEricSir: And I'll never forget the 2600 version of Bioshock. Man, that game was ahead of its time.


The Fairchild F version of System Shock 2000 was better.
 
2012-08-16 01:57:00 PM  
The *BEST* compilation pack I ever bought was a 5-pack that included:

Masters of Magic
Civilization
Master of Orion
Heroes of Might and Magic
and one forgettable game. (It was another 4X game)

The second best included Master of Magic, Master of Orion, X:Com and two forgettable strategy games.
 
2012-08-16 01:58:18 PM  
Box art? Who bought games? We need a blog with pictures of old cracked by screens.

Eaglesoft biatch!
 
2012-08-16 02:01:31 PM  

Genju: Bag of Hammers: [www.toplessrobot.com image 420x538]

This looks like Israel vs Palestine: The Game

Reminded me of General Chaos

[t3.gstatic.com image 185x272]


YES! I don't know why that game was so much fun, but it was.
 
2012-08-16 02:10:05 PM  
media.giantbomb.com
 
2012-08-16 02:18:06 PM  
Konami. BEST. COVERS. EVER.

www.examiner.com

Full version:

2.bp.blogspot.com
cdn1.spong.com

www.retrocpu.com

www.retrocpu.com

1.bp.blogspot.com

www.thegeekcouch.com 

REAL VERSION:

a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2012-08-16 02:47:19 PM  
Oh man, I'm old enough to remember some of those.

The days when games looked so crappy on screen that they didn't even dare use game screens anywhere you could see unless you turned the box over. By then you were seduced by the romance novel-quality art on the box and were dreaming of swinging swords at evil dragons. Except that when you actually played the game you were passing a 5-pixel line through a blob made of another 15 or so pixels.

/in my day we had to use our imaginations
//get off my lawn
 
2012-08-16 02:53:44 PM  
media.giantbomb.com

He was white in the game. I was always confused by that.
 
2012-08-16 02:57:13 PM  

F1_Fan: Oh man, I'm old enough to remember some of those.

The days when games looked so crappy on screen that they didn't even dare use game screens anywhere you could see unless you turned the box over. By then you were seduced by the romance novel-quality art on the box and were dreaming of swinging swords at evil dragons. Except that when you actually played the game you were passing a 5-pixel line through a blob made of another 15 or so pixels.

/in my day we had to use our imaginations
//get off my lawn



This is true and that's why those games are so lovable. We filled in the blanks with our own imaginations, thus making each game apersonal experience. Today's games are too developed so we're just playing a prepackaged experience.
 
2012-08-16 02:58:45 PM  
This was probably one of my biggest disappointments. That cover made me elicit stories about heroism, valor, dragons, mystery, adventure.

www.retrocpu.com

The actual game was one of the worst pieces of shiat i've ever played:

www.ffmaniacs.com
 
2012-08-16 02:59:31 PM  

wippit: [upload.wikimedia.org image 256x304]

"Launch... launch... launch fighters."


wait. The hundreds of hours I spent playing that game... The multitudes of late nights playing supermelee with friends... and that's what the dreadnaught captain says? I mean... It makes tons of sense.. I just always thought it was alien mumbling!

/B.U.T.T. missiles
 
2012-08-16 03:03:38 PM  

rocky_howard: F1_Fan: Oh man, I'm old enough to remember some of those.

The days when games looked so crappy on screen that they didn't even dare use game screens anywhere you could see unless you turned the box over. By then you were seduced by the romance novel-quality art on the box and were dreaming of swinging swords at evil dragons. Except that when you actually played the game you were passing a 5-pixel line through a blob made of another 15 or so pixels.

/in my day we had to use our imaginations
//get off my lawn


This is true and that's why those games are so lovable. We filled in the blanks with our own imaginations, thus making each game apersonal experience. Today's games are too developed so we're just playing a prepackaged experience.


you act like playing a video game in the 80s was some massive creative endeavor. we played them because they were fun. I didn't use my imagination to create tennis players out of pong paddles. I saw them for what there were. floating paddles. the games were fun. a good game provides a challenge whether or not the graphics are great. however, great graphics are nothing to complain about.

it's just as distant and personal now as it ever was. the only big difference is that games are easier now. back then, lots of games started as arcades, so they made it hard as hell so that you'd be forced to keep popping quarters. plus, the lack of memory space meant the lack of saves and autosaves.

/ meh... starting gaming in the 80s... if it's fun then it's good.
 
2012-08-16 03:08:27 PM  

ltdanman44: where is this one on the list?

[robertlbryant.com image 500x616] (Super Breakout pic)



What a coincidence. You actually have the privilege of being in the same thread with the God of Super Breakout (me)!
 
2012-08-16 03:14:21 PM  

rocky_howard: This was probably one of my biggest disappointments. That cover made me elicit stories about heroism, valor, dragons, mystery, adventure.

[www.retrocpu.com image 400x550]

The actual game was one of the worst pieces of shiat i've ever played:

[www.ffmaniacs.com image 450x378]


Looks action-packed!
 
2012-08-16 03:16:19 PM  

pute kisses like a man: it's just as distant and personal now as it ever was. the only big difference is that games are easier now. back then, lots of games started as arcades, so they made it hard as hell so that you'd be forced to keep popping quarters. plus, the lack of memory space meant the lack of saves and autosaves.


And this is why that if you were good at a game, you had massive crowds of people watching you play. I'll never forget the first time some buddies and I beat Gauntlet in an amusement park arcade. I don't think you could have squeezed another person behind us.

It's too bad young gamers today will never enjoy that feeling. Now the massive groups are online where everyone can become really skilled only to have some kid on the other side of the country run around the map commando knifing everyone or noob tube spamming...(sigh)


/Those were the days..
 
2012-08-16 03:16:40 PM  

rocky_howard: This was probably one of my biggest disappointments. That cover made me elicit stories about heroism, valor, dragons, mystery, adventure.

[www.retrocpu.com image 400x550]

The actual game was one of the worst pieces of shiat i've ever played:

[www.ffmaniacs.com image 450x378]


The opening story on the title screen was more interesting than the whole game. That isn't really saying much either.
 
2012-08-16 03:53:58 PM  
I'm beginning to think that maybe I should just make my own game...

/has a degree in Video Game Art and Design...
//hasn't had a chance to apply it for any game companies... yet.
 
2012-08-16 03:57:54 PM  
I saw this game in a bin of cheap PC games, looked like something my Dad would have fun with. He played the shiat out of.

www.2edges.com
 
2012-08-16 04:05:14 PM  

JohnnyC: I'm beginning to think that maybe I should just make my own game...

/has a degree in Video Game Art and Design...
//hasn't had a chance to apply it for any game companies... yet.


...with Blackjack, and hookers?
 
2012-08-16 04:05:45 PM  

JohnnyC: I'm beginning to think that maybe I should just make my own game...

/has a degree in Video Game Art and Design...
//hasn't had a chance to apply it for any game companies... yet.


With blackjack, and hookers?
 
2012-08-16 04:06:22 PM  
Total threadjack, but anyway:

Last week my 3 month old daughter was fussing in her stroller while we were waiting for her mom to finish trying on clothes. Nothing I was doing was keeping her entertained for more than 5 seconds, and I was getting desperate. I had an epiphany, remembering how much she likes music, and pulled out my phone. My ringtone is the original Zelda overworld music, but the actual file I have on my phone is a 30 sec. clip. As soon as the first note hit, she stopped crying and tilted her head to hear better. 10 seconds in she was giggling and smiling uncontrollably, while I teared up. I played it five or so more times and she started smiling and laughing each time. Best parent moment so far.
 
2012-08-16 04:18:08 PM  

roc6783: Total threadjack, but anyway:

Last week my 3 month old daughter was fussing in her stroller while we were waiting for her mom to finish trying on clothes. Nothing I was doing was keeping her entertained for more than 5 seconds, and I was getting desperate. I had an epiphany, remembering how much she likes music, and pulled out my phone. My ringtone is the original Zelda overworld music, but the actual file I have on my phone is a 30 sec. clip. As soon as the first note hit, she stopped crying and tilted her head to hear better. 10 seconds in she was giggling and smiling uncontrollably, while I teared up. I played it five or so more times and she started smiling and laughing each time. Best parent moment so far.


You need to pull out the Super Mario Theme next (Mario Twins style).
 
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