FARK.com: Blog (Unfreakable): A few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 8/5

A few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 8/5 - 8/11
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-08-15 6:07:33 PM (2 comments) | Permalink

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Nothing to add this week, enjoy the headlines

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-08-05 to Sat 2012-08-11:

Spice kills man in transport accident after failure to navigate a route

Woman refuses to pull over for police and leads them on a high speed chase because she was topless on her way to surprise her boyfriend. BEST GIRLFRIEND EVER

Nine-year-old Detroit boy's lemonade stand raises $3400 for city government, while he somehow manages not to be shot, stabbed, robbed, set on fire, shut down by the health department or shaken down by the city council

Males less supportive of gay marriage. Way to stick it to the man

Study finds one in four parents spank their children in public. The other three not in Walmart that day

Typhoon Haikui Strikes - East Coast of China Hit - Evacuate Now

Authorities responding to medical emergency at American research station in Antarctica. Initial reports are confusing, mentioning traumatic double amputation resulting from teeth in thoracic cavity

Massachusetts' largest white oak killed. Police are rounding up all the black oaks in the area

Beetles killing California's avocado trees; symptoms include white secretions from bark. I knew this day wood cum

Neil Armstrong recovering after heart bypass surgery. Doctors say he is already up and around and has taken his first small step for a man

Long-haired freaky person decides to "clean up the neighborhood" by stealing 57 campaign signs from 18 different candidates. Apparently thought they were blocking the scenery, breaking his mind

Sports:

Manchester United learns it's not so easy to sell 'Packers stock' when the fan base completely made up of alcoholics. Okay, bad example

Nebraska offensive lineman Tyler Moore leaves team. He's not going to make it after all

Ochoclinko

Geek:

Gene linked to PTSD. You should stay away from him

Stressed men drawn to heavy women, and not just by gravitational fields

Work on Curiosity comes to a halt when Windows Update, Flash Update, Java Update, Firefox Update, and Rover SP 4 updates popped up on the rover's screen

Entertainment:

Matt Lauer says "Indian giver" live on The Today Show, comes under fire from various organizations. If only he could take it back

Now I understand everyone's shiat's emotional right now but I've got a three point plan that's going to fix everything: An Idiocracy spin-off with President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho is in the works

The mom from What's Eating Gilbert Grape has lost 244 pounds. Looks like someone has really lit a fire under her

Politics:

First round of RNC speakers announced: The Joker, Two Face, The Penguin, The Riddler and (in black Ferragamo boots) Catwoman

Able to recognize a steaming pile when they see one, Scotts Miracle-Gro endorses Romney

Nancy Pelosi says she saw ghosts in the White House. In response, White House has removed all mirrors from any room Nancy Pelosi visits

Business:

Hyundai recalls cars because air bag won't deploy if passenger is less than 130 pounds; absolutely no Americans have been injured so far

It's time to see older workers as an asset, not just as a source of food and replacement organs

Carney blows whistle on bad banks, offers three ring tosses for a buck

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2 Comments (+0 »)

the_rev		2012-08-16 10:29:56 AM

Some of these were fantastic. Typhoon haiku, long haired freaky person, and Tyler Moore cracked me up.

mootmah		2012-08-16 03:34:53 PM

Typhoon haiku was great, but off by a syllable

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