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(Yahoo)   Bill Gates hopes to do for toilets what he has done for computers. EVERYBODY PANIC   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 163
    More: Scary, Bill Gates, profanities, human waste, sewage systems, Gates Foundation, blue screen of death, Howie Mandel, bathrooms  
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8583 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Aug 2012 at 9:29 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-15 09:30:40 AM
Brown Screen of Death?
 
2012-08-15 09:31:20 AM

Techhell: Brown Screen of Death?


damn, you beat me to it
 
2012-08-15 09:31:24 AM
One that cleans itself perhaps?
 
2012-08-15 09:31:25 AM
cdn.ubergizmo.com
 
gja [TotalFark]
2012-08-15 09:32:43 AM
Windows for Wankers?
 
2012-08-15 09:33:10 AM
I could certainly use the "Defragmentation" feature.
 
2012-08-15 09:35:01 AM
If you have any problems with it, repoop, repoop!
 
2012-08-15 09:35:32 AM
Who wants to reinstall their toilet every 6 months?
 
2012-08-15 09:35:37 AM
Format A:
 
2012-08-15 09:35:50 AM
Actually a pretty funny / good video. Good for them!

/can't wait for the Brown Note to be added to Super Patch Tuesdays...
 
2012-08-15 09:36:10 AM
Earlier a local newswoman said, "Oh I don't know. I guess they'd be good for camping or outdoor events."

She went on to mention today to Beanie Sigel that she's never HEARD of anyone going to prison for not paying taxes.
 
2012-08-15 09:36:16 AM
I'm thinking something like this.

cache.thisorth.at
 
2012-08-15 09:36:52 AM
My mind still boggles at how far behind the US is in bathroom technology. I went to Japan in April, and hoo-boy do they know how to make a toilet! (Well, at least in the hotel room. The public "hole-in-the-ground" variety I can do without). It cleans your butt and makes it not smelly and dries your butt for you all without any toilet paper! Fantastic.

I'd buy one for home it it wasn't $600. And I didn't live in an apartment. Though I guess I could just take it with me.
 
2012-08-15 09:37:00 AM
If you don't register it, you can't flush.
 
2012-08-15 09:37:07 AM
"AN EXCEPTION ERROR HAS OCCURED IN MODULE---"

"BUT I NEED TO FLUSH, DAMMIT!"
 
2012-08-15 09:37:17 AM
Time remaining to finish pooping... 3 minutes

... 2 hours 41 minutes

... 48 seconds

... 48 seconds

... 3 days 4 hours

Task Complete
 
2012-08-15 09:37:28 AM
I know we're gonna snark all over this, but I gotta say, the proper handling of sanitary waste is just about the best thing you can do to raise the overall health, life expectancy and quality of life for people the world over. This is one of the reasons time travel would not be as fun as everyone thinks it is: before around 1870, the chances of you having constant contact with human shiat on a daily basis approaches unity.

So, Bill Gates, groove on your bad self, and I look forward to the fruits of your investment.
 
2012-08-15 09:37:33 AM
"I'll be right there, first I have to drop off something in the Recycle Bin."
 
2012-08-15 09:37:34 AM
You have pressed the flush button. This will delete all bowl contents.
Are you sure? [Y/N]



/ CTRL-ALT-DEL
// wait until someone has to call the help center in Hyderabad
 
2012-08-15 09:40:01 AM
Coming soon: the Butt Splash of Death
 
2012-08-15 09:40:23 AM
All these world changing ideas are good for people but only in the short term. Look what Antibiotics have done. The world population boomed to a point that earth cannot sustain it. Getting people something to shiat in that wont pollute their water will only increase the problem. If Bill Gates would spend his time, money and brainpower on ways to stop population boom, then I would get behind it. Until then, I think people who are too stupid to figure out how not crap in their clean, drinking water should be left alone.
 
2012-08-15 09:40:32 AM
i'll print ya out a copy.

deadhomersociety.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-08-15 09:40:56 AM

Grither: My mind still boggles at how far behind the US is in bathroom technology. I went to Japan in April, and hoo-boy do they know how to make a toilet! (Well, at least in the hotel room. The public "hole-in-the-ground" variety I can do without). It cleans your butt and makes it not smelly and dries your butt for you all without any toilet paper! Fantastic.

I'd buy one for home it it wasn't $600. And I didn't live in an apartment. Though I guess I could just take it with me.


I'm genuinely curious about this. Do you have the name of a company that makes or distributes them in the US?
 
2012-08-15 09:42:19 AM
Some of the ingenious ideas at the toilet fair include a Swiss system for diverting some urine and recovering water for flushing, and a design from Stanford researchers that turns human waste into charcoal. And a team from the Delft University of Technology in the the Netherlands invented a toilet that turns human waste into fuel through microwave technology.

So it sends all your crap to the recycling bin?

Bill Gates and his wife are awesome.
 
2012-08-15 09:43:13 AM
Does this mean Apple will be filing a patent complaint claiming they invented it first?
 
2012-08-15 09:45:04 AM

MightyPez: Grither: My mind still boggles at how far behind the US is in bathroom technology. I went to Japan in April, and hoo-boy do they know how to make a toilet! (Well, at least in the hotel room. The public "hole-in-the-ground" variety I can do without). It cleans your butt and makes it not smelly and dries your butt for you all without any toilet paper! Fantastic.

I'd buy one for home it it wasn't $600. And I didn't live in an apartment. Though I guess I could just take it with me.

I'm genuinely curious about this. Do you have the name of a company that makes or distributes them in the US?


http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D-X4Xohm8KkA
 
2012-08-15 09:45:05 AM

Flappyhead: Does this mean Apple will be filing a patent complaint claiming they invented it first?


The New Applie iFlush: does 75 amazing things with apps and telecommunications, fails to to actually flush well.
 
2012-08-15 09:45:46 AM
Well thank God its him, because if Steve Jobs was still alive we'd be overcharged for it.
 
2012-08-15 09:46:42 AM

ObscureNameHere: Flappyhead: Does this mean Apple will be filing a patent complaint claiming they invented it first?

The New Applie iFlush: does 75 amazing things with apps and telecommunications, fails to to actually flush well.


Flushing will be added in the second revision.
 
2012-08-15 09:47:30 AM
I'm looking forward to Apple designing a clean white bowl, with rounded corners, for that stylish Apple aesthetic.
 
2012-08-15 09:47:56 AM
Every man has his breaking point. Mine will be when my crapper bluescreens.

And the news will say, "He was a quiet man who mostly kept to himself..."
 
2012-08-15 09:47:56 AM
Well at least he broke away from Microsoft before Metro the OS that shan't be named, Balmer would have us all stand to take a dump and as for peeing "We're going to teach users to only poop, peeing is in the past."
 
2012-08-15 09:48:16 AM
FTFA: "and a design from Stanford researchers that turns human waste into charcoal."

I don't know about any of you, but my mouth is watering. I can't wait to fire up the BBQ and light up the Dungsford briquettes(TM). Maybe we can get some sauce from strained medical waste. We have truly entered magical times.
 
2012-08-15 09:49:08 AM

poe_zlaw: All these world changing ideas are good for people but only in the short term. Look what Antibiotics have done. The world population boomed to a point that earth cannot sustain it. Getting people something to shiat in that wont pollute their water will only increase the problem. If Bill Gates would spend his time, money and brainpower on ways to stop population boom, then I would get behind it. Until then, I think people who are too stupid to figure out how not crap in their clean, drinking water should be left alone.


The people with the most need for good sanitation don't have the means to buy good sanitation. And they are not typically shiatting directly in their drinking water. It comes from runoff of poorly kept waste areas, poor sewage management from upstream and other entities that don't give a fark. So the people that have the least power get farked the most.

Perhaps in addition to helping to provide proper sanitation, we could get the the Catholic Church, and other Christian groups, from spreading fear over condom and birth control use in 3rd world countries.... you know, because Jesus wants it that way.
 
2012-08-15 09:49:28 AM

theorellior: I know we're gonna snark all over this, but I gotta say, the proper handling of sanitary waste is just about the best thing you can do to raise the overall health, life expectancy and quality of life for people the world over. This is one of the reasons time travel would not be as fun as everyone thinks it is: before around 1870, the chances of you having constant contact with human shiat on a daily basis approaches unity.

So, Bill Gates, groove on your bad self, and I look forward to the fruits of your investment.


This.
This is a really cool project that the Gates Foundation has taken on and one that has the potential(especially with Gates Foundation resources backing it) to dramatically improve the quality of life in third world countries.

/not that crappy Microsoft jokes aren't a lot of fun
 
2012-08-15 09:49:54 AM
Oh my God, the comments on that article are stunning.
 
TWX
2012-08-15 09:50:14 AM
theorellior:
I know we're gonna snark all over this, but I gotta say, the proper handling of sanitary waste is just about the best thing you can do to raise the overall health, life expectancy and quality of life for people the world over. This is one of the reasons time travel would not be as fun as everyone thinks it is: before around 1870, the chances of you having constant contact with human shiat on a daily basis approaches unity.

So, Bill Gates, groove on your bad self, and I look forward to the fruits of your investment.


I do hope he's successful too, but so far all cultures that have managed to conquer this problem have done it by way of labor-intensive installation of underground sewers, septic tanks, and leech fields, with the highest-density areas using treatment plants. I wonder if the massive amount of development money for this new toilet would be better spent as seed money to attract donors to nonprofits to actually hire local workers and buy local materials to actually install sewer pipes, septic tanks, and other transportation and treatment methods to rid the population centers of their excrement. Not only would it help with ridding them of waste, it would create jobs in places where jobs are very much needed, and might even start implanting the concept of building codes.
 
2012-08-15 09:51:00 AM

Nurglitch: I'm looking forward to Apple designing a clean white bowl, with rounded corners, for that stylish Apple aesthetic.


an iPood?
 
2012-08-15 09:51:58 AM
Then Apple will release a junior version of the iFlush called the iPoop for potty training your toddlers. But damn it it would have rounded edges and a retina display! still no support for Flush though.
 
2012-08-15 09:52:06 AM
not sure what is worse. A critical error
train4tradeskills.files.wordpress.com

or a virus
media.tumblr.com
 
2012-08-15 09:53:04 AM

coinspinner: Oh my God, the comments on that article are stunning.


And I'll bet you are just flushed with excitement.
 
2012-08-15 09:53:16 AM

Do the needful: FTFA: "and a design from Stanford researchers that turns human waste into charcoal."

I don't know about any of you, but my mouth is watering. I can't wait to fire up the BBQ and light up the Dungsford briquettes(TM). Maybe we can get some sauce from strained medical waste. We have truly entered magical times.


I'm not trying to blow smoke up your ass, I just want some hickory flavor in my next ribeye.
 
2012-08-15 09:53:23 AM
Just make sure you run a good antivirus on the bowl every now-and-then. You don't want to pick up something nasty.
 
2012-08-15 09:53:50 AM
This is related to an article a week or so ago about how, in order to test, they needed 50 gallons of synthetic poop. Ever since then, I've been using the phrase "donating to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation" as a new poop euphemism.
 
2012-08-15 09:54:50 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-08-15 09:55:05 AM

Nurglitch: I'm looking forward to Apple designing a clean white bowl, with rounded corners, for that stylish Apple aesthetic.


Yeah, but to protect the perfect design from breaking and damage, everyone will go out any buy a bulky wrapping that will increase the toilet size by 50% and then cover the bowl with a funky nonstick liner so it won't get scratches.
 
2012-08-15 09:55:05 AM
Will there be a mobile version too?
 
2012-08-15 09:55:10 AM

poe_zlaw: Look what Antibiotics have done. The world population boomed to a point that earth cannot sustain it


Don't worry. With the overuse of antibiotics creating anti-biotic resistant plauges, the world population crisis will be resolved.
Plus a lot of job openings will be created.

/Captian Trips?
 
2012-08-15 09:55:15 AM
Second Tuesday of the month is going to suck bigtime.
 
2012-08-15 09:55:32 AM
When you lift the lid, you get a message saying "Your toilet is being updated. Please wait". or "Your toilet has been infected by the Gates Virus. Send $100 to the address at the bottom of the screen or everything deposited in your toilet will be returned to you".
 
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