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(Brisbane Times)   Male flying alone and seated next to a minor? Why don't you have a seat right over there instead   ( divider line
    More: Interesting, Qantas, reverse discriminations, customer service, SEATS, males, Virgin Australia  
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15912 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Aug 2012 at 2:29 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-08-15 02:35:41 AM  
12 votes:
Safer to have them sit next to a male nurse than a female teacher.
2012-08-15 02:59:13 AM  
6 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: SpikeStrip: i'd probably ask to be moved to another seat myself.


/get that damned kid away from me

A while back, here on Fark, I remember somebody gave the BEST.ADVICE.EVAR for dealing with the situation of kids running up and down the aisles of the airplane: tell the flight attendant, very discretely, that every time that kid runs past you, it is technically a violation of your parole.

2012-08-15 02:43:20 PM  
5 votes:
My girlfriend and I went out to a restaurant last night, and some of the other diners started calling me a "pedo" and a "cradle snatcher," all because I'm a 52-year-old man with a 21-year-old girlfriend. It totally ruined our 10th anniversary.
2012-08-15 03:16:55 AM  
4 votes:

Mr. Potatoass: [ image 314x310]

i.imgur.comView Full Size
2012-08-15 01:43:57 AM  
3 votes:
Let's just avoid this whole situation by shipping children in crates or cages.

distilleryimage8.s3.amazonaws.comView Full Size
2012-08-15 03:29:36 AM  
2 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2012-08-15 03:04:06 AM  
2 votes:

tankjr: I'm ok with this. All men are presumed to be rapists and pedophiles until proven otherwise. The only way to prove you're not a rapist or a pedophile is to die without having raped anyone. Until then, you're a rapist and a pedophile.

You can still be labelled a rapist, posthumously. So you might as well get all the raping in while you can, since it's assumed you raped your way to the grave.

/rape rape
2012-08-15 02:56:43 AM  
2 votes:
I'm getting sick of this social stigma that seems to be infecting the country simply because I have a penis.

/was she hot?
2012-08-15 02:55:02 AM  
2 votes:
In defense of the airline, they should take all steps to ensure that a child isn't seated next to a Penn State alum, but maybe they're going overboard.
2012-08-15 02:32:59 AM  
2 votes:
Kiddie fiddler is the least offensive term I've ever heard for a pedo
2012-08-15 04:15:05 PM  
1 vote:

ladyfortuna: When I was 15 I flew to and from Nevada by myself for a Girl Scout trip; I don't recall any special seating arrangements for any of the legs (and there were several, each way). My mom also didn't give me any 'special' safety instructions other than the usual.

Things were different in 1945.
2012-08-15 01:54:56 PM  
1 vote:

Inflatable Rhetoric: I sat next to a girl age 10 to 13 from Houston to Seattle.

We played some kid's card game. No problem until baggage claim, when she spoke to me and her mother saw it. She called security, ranted awhile. I left.

It's because you kept winning the card games and the girl told her mother "that man kept beating me!"
2012-08-15 12:24:23 PM  
1 vote:

JustTheTip: I'd rather sit next to a child that a humungous, musky fat person whose side-hams are blurping over the arm rest and taking up 30% of my seat.

i12.photobucket.comView Full Size
2012-08-15 09:04:35 AM  
1 vote:

Elrond Hubbard: You want to upgrade me to a better section (if possible)? Fine. Otherwise, F off. Move the kid.

So much this. You're going to punish ME for your lack of seating planning? Fark you. I picked this seat specifically because I wanted to sit *here*, next to a window (because I don't get up at all on flights under 5 hours), or close to the washroom (some people like the convenience) or whatever reason. This kid's parent/guardian/owner picked a seat at random.

The choices are:

1) Move the kid.
2) Move me to business or first class.
3) Fark off, you used-up slag of a skywhore (if female attendant) or Fark off, you panty-waisted girly-man poofter (if male attendant)
2012-08-15 08:49:13 AM  
1 vote:
How planes should be layed out:
s3.amazonaws.comView Full Size

s3.amazonaws.comView Full Size

Full comic
2012-08-15 08:38:26 AM  
1 vote:
hollywoodreporter.comView Full Size

What a kiddie fiddler might look like

/I was worried about doing a GIS for 'kiddie fiddler' at work....
2012-08-15 06:21:27 AM  
1 vote:

Captain_Ballbeard: austin_millbarge: As much as some of these parents are batshiat paranoid about OMG MOLESTERZ I want to be nowhere near a kid out of fear of being locked up BECUZ YOU BREATHED ON HIM DURP!!!

/also, don't ask me to save your kid if he's in trouble
//little johnny is going to drown before i lay a hand on him

Just because the world is shiat doesn't mean we are not men any more.

We are DEVO.
2012-08-15 06:04:25 AM  
1 vote:
They weren't unaccompanied, but I once found myself in the 3-side of an MD80 surrounded by not one, not two, but FIVE -- FIVE infants in lap.

The drink cart made it to my row, and before they had a chance to ask what I would like I said "SCOTCH. NOW." The FA said "This is so totally on us" and comped me a couple handfuls. I still twitch a bit from that.
2012-08-15 05:43:17 AM  
1 vote:
First thought upon reading the headline was "what kind of a man complains about getting a kid that isnt his removed from his vicinity?"

Then I read the male nurse part of the article.... OHHHHHHH, *THAT* kind of a man....

/ what? caring and upstanding...what did you think I meant?
2012-08-15 04:17:56 AM  
1 vote:
Gee, being asked to sit in a different airplane seat is pretty severe I hope the guy gets treatment for his PTSD. If he works with cancer patients, he can now tell them what REAL suffering is like.
2012-08-15 03:59:01 AM  
1 vote:
The whole planet deserves to burn.

Seriously, lets just nuke the whole damned place.
2012-08-15 03:42:41 AM  
1 vote:

Pribar: darkmayo: I had a flight when I was around 30 and there was an unaccompanied child next to me, kid was about 10 or 11 I think.

Normally I just pop in the ear buds and watch the TV or play DS but this kid was practising card tricks and he was doing sleight of hand tricks. It was totally awesome, as the kid was pretty good.


when I was on the old Iwo Jima there was this navy bosun who would walk up while we were playing cards, ask if it was a full deck and if we would say yes he would hand one of us a sealed envelope and have that person shuffle and cut the deck and flip the cut up to show the bottom card, then he would have that person open the envelope and in it would be a piece of paper with the fricken card he had just cut to written on it, he did this every few days choosing different people and decks each time and was never wrong, I have not met anyone till this day who can tell me how the SoB did it

incontrol88.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2012-08-15 02:56:55 AM  
1 vote:
I'm ok with this. All men are presumed to be rapists and pedophiles until proven otherwise. The only way to prove you're not a rapist or a pedophile is to die without having raped anyone. Until then, you're a rapist and a pedophile.
2012-08-15 02:55:34 AM  
1 vote:
While these half-wits are stressing out over some stranger on a plane, good old Uncle Charlie has been ass-f**king that kid for years.
2012-08-15 02:48:24 AM  
1 vote:

2012-08-15 02:31:29 AM  
1 vote:
conservationmagazine.orgView Full Size
2012-08-15 12:53:58 AM  
1 vote:

SpikeStrip: i'd probably ask to be moved to another seat myself.


/get that damned kid away from me
//and bring me another drink
2012-08-15 12:44:43 AM  
1 vote:
i'd probably ask to be moved to another seat myself.
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