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(Wired)   Nine fictional beverages you can never drink...but here are recipes that might allow you to replicate a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster or some raktajino   (wired.com) divider line 126
    More: PSA, fictional beverages, Earl Grey, laws of physics, fictional world, gold bar, Harry Potter fans, hitchhikers, Romulans  
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13217 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Aug 2012 at 7:49 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-15 12:06:40 AM

maelstrom0370: Waaaaay back when (80's), there was this show on HBO starring Martin Short as a private eye. He drank this crazy, labor intensive, 7 layer parfait drink that bartenders HATED making. They'd finish it, he'd take A drink and leave it. Anyone?


That's a pousse-cafe. If really want to piss off the bartender, stir it before you drink it.
 
2012-08-15 12:08:53 AM

rickycal78: So after reading TFA, and going through the farking slideshow TFA linked to find the recipe for Mudder's Milk, I find that it's simply a White Russian with some Bailey's added. Probably tastes pretty good, and I'm sure I'll try it some day, but I somehow don't see it as having much in the way of nutrients the way Mudder's Milk was supposed to.


Having gotten completly obliviated on white russians once upon a time (when I started it was the 4th of July)... this is a version I won't be trying.
 
2012-08-15 12:34:10 AM
rickycal78: ...it's simply a White Russian with some Bailey's added. Probably tastes pretty good...

Once when out drinking, the barkeep ran out of dairy, so my friend suggested subbing Bailey's. From what I can remember, it's very nice. The first sip or two are on the strong side, but that'll pass.
 
2012-08-15 01:02:18 AM
gifrific.com
 
2012-08-15 01:02:19 AM
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net

I'll have a Bacardi and Cuke

/heaven in a can
 
2012-08-15 01:13:01 AM

mikebdoss: I very likely still have some of the Romulan Ale I bought at Star Trek: The Experience in Vegas a decade ago. I remember it being not-at-all good, so I'm sure it's much, much worse now.


Once upon a time there was a decent Romulan Ale @ the experience (RIP). It was a blueish-green colored Austrian lager. It wasn't too bad. Then they got cheap and replaced it with Guatemalan beer mixed with some nasty blue food dye that stained everything it touched, that shiate was available (maybe still is @ BevMo).
 
2012-08-15 01:18:43 AM

SapperInTexas: They make Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters here.

Damn, I just realized it's been 20 years since I visited that place...


Twas there only a few years ago. On purpose, just happened to be a reception in "18" down the street. There was no gold brick or lemon involved, but with the price of gold these days, I can't blame em.
 
2012-08-15 01:27:03 AM

buckler: maelstrom0370: Waaaaay back when (80's), there was this show on HBO starring Martin Short as a private eye. He drank this crazy, labor intensive, 7 layer parfait drink that bartenders HATED making. They'd finish it, he'd take A drink and leave it. Anyone?

That's a pousse-cafe. If really want to piss off the bartender, stir it before you drink it.


Thirded, pousse-cafe. A lot of bartenders will just flat out tell you no on these, and they've reason for it. Can clog up a crowded bar double-quick as the poor SOB tries to baby the damn thing together. One of the few places I've been that had bartenders do them fairly regularly, they were a "when we can" item - i.e. if you asked for one they'd make them when and if their other duties allowed the time. If you biatched about that they'd just tell you to go somewhere else and see if you even got that. Seemed fair enough, those things are an insane pain in the arse. As I recall they also charged about triple a normal drink price for one, once again fair enough when you factor in the annoyance value of their creation.
 
2012-08-15 01:29:49 AM
Hey! What about Scumble? (made with mostly apples)

//Discworld reference.
 
2012-08-15 01:38:17 AM
I'd like some of these:

Samarian Sunset
Saurian Brandy
Alderberan Whiskey
 
2012-08-15 01:53:26 AM

JDJoeE: mikebdoss: I very likely still have some of the Romulan Ale I bought at Star Trek: The Experience in Vegas a decade ago. I remember it being not-at-all good, so I'm sure it's much, much worse now.

Once upon a time there was a decent Romulan Ale @ the experience (RIP). It was a blueish-green colored Austrian lager. It wasn't too bad. Then they got cheap and replaced it with Guatemalan beer mixed with some nasty blue food dye that stained everything it touched, that shiate was available (maybe still is @ BevMo).


I've got the really bad, really blue staining version. I'm curious to dig it up now, but I should document it on youtube in case it's really bad or I die while drinking it.
 
2012-08-15 01:56:16 AM

All_Farked_Up: b0rg9: [i.imgur.com image 610x454]

Damn, can't believe the tranya wasn't on that list.

Grapefruit juice according to the actor and he hated it.

the only way I would touch grapefruit juice is being paid to drink it on-camera for a television show or film. Ranks up there in my personal view with cranberry juice and lemonade as drinks that are vile. At my last job as a cook I used to make lemonade frequently from the sysco powder stuff we ordered and always tested it for flavour. If I winced or made an involuntary nasty face then I knew I had the concentration right.
 
2012-08-15 02:01:52 AM
i279.photobucket.com

I've been making Newcomer milk for years. The tough part is getting the texture right.

Does anybody want the recipe?
 
2012-08-15 02:45:21 AM
cache.io9.comimages4.wikia.nocookie.net

How about we make "Synthohol Whiskey", with the taste of alcohol but none of the deleterious effects, but with REAL alcohol, so it WILL get you drunk? Fandom rejoice!

/weak episode
//planet of the Lazy Irish Tinkers? Really?
 
2012-08-15 02:50:06 AM

The_Cisco_Kid: All_Farked_Up: b0rg9: [i.imgur.com image 610x454]

Damn, can't believe the tranya wasn't on that list.

Grapefruit juice according to the actor and he hated it.
the only way I would touch grapefruit juice is being paid to drink it on-camera for a television show or film. Ranks up there in my personal view with cranberry juice and lemonade as drinks that are vile.


I like grapefruit juice with vodka, but that's about the only time. Throw in some OJ for a Screwhound.
 
2012-08-15 02:53:06 AM
Austershalin Brandy

\hopefully not obscure
 
2012-08-15 04:00:13 AM

fusillade762: The_Cisco_Kid: All_Farked_Up: b0rg9: [i.imgur.com image 610x454]

Damn, can't believe the tranya wasn't on that list.

Grapefruit juice according to the actor and he hated it.
the only way I would touch grapefruit juice is being paid to drink it on-camera for a television show or film. Ranks up there in my personal view with cranberry juice and lemonade as drinks that are vile.

I like grapefruit juice with vodka, but that's about the only time. Throw in some OJ for a Screwhound.


rosecole.com

Do I have a treat for you!

"Miracle Fruit"- a type of berry, freeze-dried here in tablets- makes sour things taste "sweet" for about 15 min- half an hour. It doesn't go into your blood, it temporarily modifies the proteins on your tongue upon contact (if you just swallow it, it won't work).

The interesting trick here is that it makes a disgusting grapefruit-based mixed drink taste DELICIOUS. It's hilarious because you can mix up something totally revolting and be drinking it and others who try it will be suitably repulsed- then give them a tablet and suddenly they'll see the light. And by all means, mix grapefruit juice with whiskey and start mixing in anything you can think of which would make it even more revolting- chances are, it'll "work".

Be aware that grapefruit juice is a very potent inhibitor of the liver's CYP3A4 enzyme, which is needed to metabolize a number of drugs (as well as who-the-fark-knows in normal biology). It doesn't take much to shut CYP3A4 down, and may take DAYS to regenerate. This can cause wildly different blood levels of certain drugs. Benzodiazapines, for one- it'll shut down breakdown of the dose and thus taking them on a regular schedule could result in overdose. Plus it increases bioavailability even with a single dose, so it's a "thing". However, AFAIK, doing a lot of grapefruit juice probably won't be any worse than eating a grapefruit, because it looks like either one can deactivate all the CYP3A4 enzyme you've got anyways. The grapefruit juice of any amount will itself be gone long before the period required to reestablish CYP3A4 is done.
 
2012-08-15 08:59:05 AM

poot_rootbeer: I'm looking for something like a Mallard Fizz, but not quite as ducky.


Dog Turd and Tonic, then?
 
2012-08-15 10:17:30 AM
candlesinkites.com

You all disappointed me.
 
2012-08-15 10:27:53 AM
nord mead ?
 
2012-08-15 11:25:30 AM

The_Cisco_Kid: All_Farked_Up: b0rg9: [i.imgur.com image 610x454]

Damn, can't believe the tranya wasn't on that list.

Grapefruit juice according to the actor and he hated it.
the only way I would touch grapefruit juice is being paid to drink it on-camera for a television show or film. Ranks up there in my personal view with cranberry juice and lemonade as drinks that are vile. At my last job as a cook I used to make lemonade frequently from the sysco powder stuff we ordered and always tested it for flavour. If I winced or made an involuntary nasty face then I knew I had the concentration right.


You obviously have had the misfortune of drinking grapefruit juice from concentrate. That shiat is certainly vile...no one should be subjected to that.

However fresh squeezed grapefruit juice tastes totally different and I think it's fantastic. Tastes vary though.
 
2012-08-15 11:49:57 AM

cman: No love for Skittlebrau?


I'll have a shot.
 
2012-08-15 11:51:33 AM
How about Klatchian Coffee? Just the thing after a night of Jimkins Bearhuggers Whiskey.
 
2012-08-15 11:57:16 AM
Came here for the Squashed Strawberry Alleycat from Kids in the Hall. Teetotaller becomes an alcoholic that will only drink ridiculous fru-fru drinks. His life quickly spirals out of control until his boss calls him in to fire him. Boss offers him a drink to cushion the blow in the funniest exchange of the skit:

"Can I get you a drink?"

"I'll have a squashed strawberry alleycat."

"I'm not sure what that is" 'It's simple, it's 12 fresh strawberries sliced, 3 ounces of dark rum, a splash of creme de menthe. 1 ounce of suger. a thimble of grape pucker. a soupcon of cinammon. a touch of rupleminze. a klaxon of pineapple sauce. a grimace of red wine. Garnish with a muskmelon wedge, a hyacynthe petal, a childs laughter, and a tampon."

Absolutely lost it.

Girl Drink Drunk
 
2012-08-15 12:17:41 PM

Plant Rights Activist: /Hell even Klah got mentioned in the comments
//How can a series about people who ride timetraveling dragons be so boooooring


That's what happens when you pad out a short story into a trilogy of novels, and then keep milking the same idea for 30 years.
 
2012-08-15 02:36:42 PM

SapperInTexas: They make Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters here.

Damn, I just realized it's been 20 years since I visited that place...


I still go on occasion there myself.
 
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