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(Slate)   Sleep Apnea is an evolutionary mistake that adversely affects millions of people, just like left-handedness   (slate.com) divider line 111
    More: Interesting, sleep apnea, left-handedness, REM sleep  
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7564 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Aug 2012 at 11:22 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-14 08:46:26 AM
WHO YOU CALLING A MISTAKE SUBBY?

/lefty
 
2012-08-14 09:03:16 AM
I always thought Sleep Apnea was a fatty side-effect, like using entire rolls of toilet paper.
 
2012-08-14 09:15:43 AM
My doctor told me I had a fat uvula.

After three minutes of waggling my eyebrows at him, he explained what my uvula is and told me to shut up and put on the rubber mask.

Then three more minutes of waggling and I was banned from medical science.

/not fat
 
2012-08-14 09:22:19 AM
Being left-handed is only a problem when you're young and living in a right-handed world.

Now that I'm an adult, I have my own scissors, I've learned to use a can opener backwards, have a double-sided vegetable peeler, and have taught myself to use a mouse/keyboard in the standard way.

Let me tell you, it's no limitation using my right hand on my mouse, leaving my left hand free to, uh..
 
2012-08-14 09:35:16 AM

BurnShrike: Being left-handed is only a problem when you're young and living in a right-handed world.

Now that I'm an adult, I have my own scissors, I've learned to use a can opener backwards, have a double-sided vegetable peeler, and have taught myself to use a mouse/keyboard in the standard way.

Let me tell you, it's no limitation using my right hand on my mouse, leaving my left hand free to, uh..


...and we don't write anything down anymore. That helps.
 
2012-08-14 09:54:35 AM
I'd also like to say that evolution doesn't make mistakes.

If you survive long enough to have offspring to pass on your genes, then you're successful, or "fit". That's it. Evolution doesn't care how well you sleep or which hand you use to wank.
 
2012-08-14 09:56:45 AM

BurnShrike: If you survive long enough to have offspring to pass on your genes, then you're successful, or "fit". That's it. Evolution doesn't care how well you sleep or which hand you use to wank.


But we don't allow evolution to run its course. We artificially prolong the lives of folks who evolution deselected from the gene pool.
 
2012-08-14 10:06:27 AM

BurnShrike: Being left-handed is only a problem when you're young and living in a right-handed world.

Now that I'm an adult, I have my own scissors, I've learned to use a can opener backwards, have a double-sided vegetable peeler, and have taught myself to use a mouse/keyboard in the standard way kill all the right handed people I meet.


FTFY
 
2012-08-14 10:27:36 AM
Ronald Reagan 1981-1989 Ambidextrous
George H. W. Bush 1989-1993 Left-handed
Bill Clinton 1993-2001 Left-handed
George W. Bush 2001-2009 Right-handed
Barack Obama 2009-present Left-handed
 
2012-08-14 10:33:48 AM

Bonkthat_Again: BurnShrike: If you survive long enough to have offspring to pass on your genes, then you're successful, or "fit". That's it. Evolution doesn't care how well you sleep or which hand you use to wank.

But we don't allow evolution to run its course. We artificially prolong the lives of folks who evolution deselected from the gene pool.


No, evolution is working just fine. That just means that our nature to congregate into social groups for protection is being selected.
 
2012-08-14 10:39:56 AM

Bonkthat_Again: BurnShrike: If you survive long enough to have offspring to pass on your genes, then you're successful, or "fit". That's it. Evolution doesn't care how well you sleep or which hand you use to wank.

But we don't allow evolution to run its course. We artificially prolong the lives of folks who evolution deselected from the gene pool.


That's not how evolution works. We're still evolving in relation to our environment.
 
2012-08-14 10:43:29 AM

odinsposse: That's not how evolution works. We're still evolving in relation to our environment.


It also gives us far greater genetic diversity in the future, because we're easing up on the "selection" part of evolution and allowing more diverse traits to be passed on.

So once some earth-shaking change occurs, hopefully we'll have a better chance of surviving as a species.
 
2012-08-14 10:46:51 AM

Bonkthat_Again: I always thought Sleep Apnea was a fatty side-effect, like using entire rolls of toilet paper.


Getting fat increases the risk, but you can have it if you're skinny as well. As you age the tissue at the back of your throat relaxes and you can get sleep apnea even without gaining weight.

/had it since I was 19
//not a fatty
 
2012-08-14 10:51:37 AM

odinsposse: That's not how evolution works. We're still evolving in relation to our environment.


In the traditional sense, yes. But man is the first species with the tools to interfere in natural evolution.
 
2012-08-14 10:52:12 AM

Lsherm: As you age the tissue at the back of your throat relaxes and you can get sleep apnea even without gaining weight.


That's why I recommend fellatio as a good exercise to keep your throat tissues tight.
 
2012-08-14 10:56:02 AM

Bonkthat_Again: odinsposse: That's not how evolution works. We're still evolving in relation to our environment.

In the traditional sense, yes. But man is the first species with the tools to interfere in natural evolution.


"Natural" is a nearly meaningless word in this context. Evolution isn't some natural plan that only works in the jungle. Our technology has changed our environment which in turn has directed our evolution.
 
2012-08-14 10:56:25 AM

BurnShrike: odinsposse: That's not how evolution works. We're still evolving in relation to our environment.

It also gives us far greater genetic diversity in the future, because we're easing up on the "selection" part of evolution and allowing more diverse traits to be passed on.



But wouldn't ambidextrous whacking off *decrease* the likelihood of you passing your genetic material on?
 
2012-08-14 11:21:54 AM

odinsposse: Our technology has changed our environment which in turn has directed our evolution.


I guess i'm thinking more of natural selection.
 
2012-08-14 11:25:27 AM
right-handed = right handed
left-handed = wrong handed
 
2012-08-14 11:27:40 AM

busy chillin': right-handed = right handed
left-handed = wrong handed


you sound fat.
 
2012-08-14 11:29:48 AM
SINISTER!
 
2012-08-14 11:30:32 AM

Cake Hunter: My doctor told me I had a fat uvula.

After three minutes of waggling my eyebrows at him, he explained what my uvula is and told me to shut up and put on the rubber mask.

Then three more minutes of waggling and I was banned from medical science.

/not fat


2.bp.blogspot.com

Oh, Stewardess, I have a Volvo.
 
2012-08-14 11:30:55 AM
I have to say that had I not gotten my CPAP 4 years ago, I might have died or at the very least the quality of my life would be shiat. During my sleep study they said I woke up about a few hundred times and probably haven't slept in years.

The first few months, after you get used to the mask, it's very disorienting and very x-man like to be able to get 2 hours a sleep and feel insanely refreshed. Your body's crying out for that time as it's during sleep a lot of restorative chemicals and processes occur.

I think it could've saved my dad's life if he had gotten one.
 
2012-08-14 11:33:56 AM
So are politicians. But we still help them evolve by voting for whatever party strikes our fancy.
 
2012-08-14 11:35:10 AM
Oral sex with my ex became impossible , after she got a CPAP machine.
 
2012-08-14 11:35:24 AM

not2bright


busy chillin': right-handed = right handed
left-handed = wrong handed

you sound fat.


you sound wrong handed...let's all watch you write and use scissors.

just kidding.

/skinny f*cker
 
2012-08-14 11:36:23 AM
To our boys and girls in uniform:

Get a sleep study done while you're in the military. Medics/Corpsmen will roll their eyes at you, so insist. Then insist again. If necessary, make 'em send you if only to get you to stop bothering them about it.

Why? Well, yeah, if you have OSA, then a CPAP will save your life. But it also entitles you to 50% VADC ... $800 a month tax free for life (i.e., till you die from not using the CPAP), give or take, depending upon dependents.

Do it, whether you intend to retire from the military or get out at the end of this hitch.
 
2012-08-14 11:37:10 AM

Lsherm: Getting fat increases the risk, but you can have it if you're skinny as well. As you age the tissue at the back of your throat relaxes and you can get sleep apnea even without gaining weight.


What if you sang death metal? Wouldn't that tighten up things back there? A little Bludgeoned Mortuary before bedtime never hurt anyone.
 
2012-08-14 11:37:22 AM
I literally can't sleep without mine anymore. And for those complaining about cold air, they do have heaters and humidifiers available.

/wife calls me Scuba Steve
 
2012-08-14 11:37:56 AM

Mawson of the Antarctic: I have to say that had I not gotten my CPAP 4 years ago, I might have died or at the very least the quality of my life would be shiat. During my sleep study they said I woke up about a few hundred times and probably haven't slept in years.

The first few months, after you get used to the mask, it's very disorienting and very x-man like to be able to get 2 hours a sleep and feel insanely refreshed. Your body's crying out for that time as it's during sleep a lot of restorative chemicals and processes occur.

I think it could've saved my dad's life if he had gotten one.


As a CPAP user who is not a fattie and who had the same experience: Fist Bump

Especially appreciate the extra flatulence.
 
2012-08-14 11:39:46 AM
Sorry - I nodded off, what were you saying?
 
2012-08-14 11:40:49 AM

Jekylman: Mawson of the Antarctic: I have to say that had I not gotten my CPAP 4 years ago, I might have died or at the very least the quality of my life would be shiat. During my sleep study they said I woke up about a few hundred times and probably haven't slept in years.

The first few months, after you get used to the mask, it's very disorienting and very x-man like to be able to get 2 hours a sleep and feel insanely refreshed. Your body's crying out for that time as it's during sleep a lot of restorative chemicals and processes occur.

I think it could've saved my dad's life if he had gotten one.

As a CPAP user who is not a fattie and who had the same experience: Fist Bump

Especially appreciate the extra flatulence.


And the increased heartburn, but sleeping is soooooo worth it.
 
2012-08-14 11:43:21 AM

BurnShrike: I'd also like to say that evolution doesn't make mistakes.

If you survive long enough to have offspring to pass on your genes, then you're successful, or "fit". That's it. Evolution doesn't care how well you sleep or which hand you use to wank.


THIS - thank you. Although one could argue that any adaptation that lets us talk more was a mistake in cultural and cognitive terms
 
2012-08-14 11:43:52 AM
Screw you subby. And on the day after National Lefthanders Day!

Ned Flanders would be disappointed.

www.leftorium.com

/sinister
 
2012-08-14 11:44:09 AM

Bonkthat_Again: BurnShrike: If you survive long enough to have offspring to pass on your genes, then you're successful, or "fit". That's it. Evolution doesn't care how well you sleep or which hand you use to wank.

But we don't allow evolution to run its course. We artificially prolong the lives of folks who evolution deselected from the gene pool.


You have fundamentally misunderstood the process of evolution. I sentence you to 6hours of study a week for the next year.
Alternately, become a creationist.
 
2012-08-14 11:45:37 AM
As a lefty with sleep apnea, I got a kick out of that headline.
 
2012-08-14 11:49:54 AM
That's not what The Good-ETs say, in their countless books. You are BORING
 
2012-08-14 11:51:12 AM

Mawson of the Antarctic: Jekylman: Mawson of the Antarctic: I have to say that had I not gotten my CPAP 4 years ago, I might have died or at the very least the quality of my life would be shiat. During my sleep study they said I woke up about a few hundred times and probably haven't slept in years.

The first few months, after you get used to the mask, it's very disorienting and very x-man like to be able to get 2 hours a sleep and feel insanely refreshed. Your body's crying out for that time as it's during sleep a lot of restorative chemicals and processes occur.

I think it could've saved my dad's life if he had gotten one.

As a CPAP user who is not a fattie and who had the same experience: Fist Bump

Especially appreciate the extra flatulence.

And the increased heartburn, but sleeping is soooooo worth it.


Have you tried a BiPAP machine? My CPAP used to fill up my stomach like a balloon during the night, but I've slept fart-free on a BiPAP for four years now.

\ Had it since my teens
\\ When I went for my follow-up after my first study, they said "Well, the good news is your O2 level never went below 80%"
\\\ The wife prefers sleeping with Darth Vader over a wood chipper
 
2012-08-14 11:51:52 AM

UberDave


But wouldn't ambidextrous whacking off *decrease* the likelihood of you passing your genetic material on?


Someone who became ambiwankstrous out of necessity probably had near-zero odds of reproducing anyway.
 
2012-08-14 11:55:07 AM
My stepfather had enlarged tonsils and his nose had been broken when he was younger- both of these caused him to have severe sleep apnea for 20 years. His snoring was so bad that you could hear him on the other end of the house, even with the TV on. He finally had surgery to remove his tonsils and fix his nose a few years ago and it's like he's a whole new person. It's definitely something everyone should get checked out if they aren't getting enough sleep or snore very badly.
 
2012-08-14 11:58:00 AM
BurnShrike:
I'd also like to say that evolution doesn't make mistakes.

If you survive long enough to have offspring to pass on your genes, then you're successful, or "fit". That's it. Evolution doesn't care how well you sleep or which hand you use to wank.


If you're fit you evolve. If you're evolving it's because you're fit. That's not circular logic at all. Every circle has to have a starting point. Also, if evolutionary design doesn't have a designer, why are we all talking about evolution "making" mistakes? Scientists constantly talk as if evolution is an intelligent entity with a plan and intent, without acknowledging the implications of that admissionth06.deviantart.net
 
2012-08-14 12:01:29 PM

Mr. Potatoass: Oral sex with my ex became impossible , after she got a CPAP machine.


I think she may have been using it wrong...

Oh, with... not on. Got it. ;)
 
2012-08-14 12:01:49 PM
I may be left handed but I DON'T throw like a sissy. I'm talking to you barry boy!
 
2012-08-14 12:04:08 PM

Mawson of the Antarctic: I have to say that had I not gotten my CPAP 4 years ago, I might have died or at the very least the quality of my life would be shiat. During my sleep study they said I woke up about a few hundred times and probably haven't slept in years.

The first few months, after you get used to the mask, it's very disorienting and very x-man like to be able to get 2 hours a sleep and feel insanely refreshed. Your body's crying out for that time as it's during sleep a lot of restorative chemicals and processes occur.

I think it could've saved my dad's life if he had gotten one.


I can't get used to mine. I've tried two masks so far... just ordered this in the hope it will let me sleep. But basically I either have trouble falling asleep or wake up halfway through the night and rip off the mask. In the end i don't get any more sleep using the cpap than I do without it... :(
 
2012-08-14 12:05:07 PM

dcigary: I literally can't sleep without mine anymore. And for those complaining about cold air, they do have heaters and humidifiers available.

/wife calls me Scuba Steve


Amen, brother! Snored since I was a kid - it got worse as I aged. Became Darth Vader and now I sleep.

Yay, CPAP!
 
2012-08-14 12:06:20 PM

Telos: Mawson of the Antarctic: I have to say that had I not gotten my CPAP 4 years ago, I might have died or at the very least the quality of my life would be shiat. During my sleep study they said I woke up about a few hundred times and probably haven't slept in years.

The first few months, after you get used to the mask, it's very disorienting and very x-man like to be able to get 2 hours a sleep and feel insanely refreshed. Your body's crying out for that time as it's during sleep a lot of restorative chemicals and processes occur.

I think it could've saved my dad's life if he had gotten one.

I can't get used to mine. I've tried two masks so far... just ordered this in the hope it will let me sleep. But basically I either have trouble falling asleep or wake up halfway through the night and rip off the mask. In the end i don't get any more sleep using the cpap than I do without it... :(


Just takes time. I started wearing during the day while watching tv to get used to the feeling and had about a couple weeks of sleepless nights until one night BAM I went out and now I feel weird if I don't use it.
 
2012-08-14 12:06:29 PM

No Such Agency: Scientists constantly talk as if evolution is an intelligent entity with a plan and intent, without acknowledging the implications of that admission


You're confusing "scientists" with "people who don't know what they're talking about but don't let that stop them".
 
2012-08-14 12:08:15 PM

doctorguilty: Mawson of the Antarctic: Jekylman: Mawson of the Antarctic: I have to say that had I not gotten my CPAP 4 years ago, I might have died or at the very least the quality of my life would be shiat. During my sleep study they said I woke up about a few hundred times and probably haven't slept in years.

The first few months, after you get used to the mask, it's very disorienting and very x-man like to be able to get 2 hours a sleep and feel insanely refreshed. Your body's crying out for that time as it's during sleep a lot of restorative chemicals and processes occur.

I think it could've saved my dad's life if he had gotten one.

As a CPAP user who is not a fattie and who had the same experience: Fist Bump

Especially appreciate the extra flatulence.

And the increased heartburn, but sleeping is soooooo worth it.

Have you tried a BiPAP machine? My CPAP used to fill up my stomach like a balloon during the night, but I've slept fart-free on a BiPAP for four years now.

\ Had it since my teens
\\ When I went for my follow-up after my first study, they said "Well, the good news is your O2 level never went below 80%"
\\\ The wife prefers sleeping with Darth Vader over a wood chipper


Ha! I thought Darth Vader the first time as well. I looked at BiPAPs, but they determined and from experience my nasal cavities are tiny (small sinuses) that I easily open my mouth when I sleep so the CPAP was a 100% guarantee I'd get the pressurized air.
 
2012-08-14 12:12:28 PM
CSB

In June, my ex, with whome I am now friends, called me to tell me that she was unable to revive her BF who had sleep apnea. Apparently, he went in to cardiac arrest - died in his sleep and in her arms.

I had met the man a few times, and was really happy she finally found someone cool to share her life with.

Geezuz, the guy was in his 40s, and just went like that.

If you have sleep apnea, get it straightened out sooner rather than later.
 
2012-08-14 12:12:45 PM
I can't sleep without mine either. Well, I can - while driving. Not recommended.

I'm a Respiratory Therapist. I see poor souls all the time with varying degrees of OSA who just cannot get used to CPAP. They are miserable. Often they do resort to surgery - uvulectomies, then tracheostomies.

How many CPAP FARKers know their setting? Mine's 14cmH2O (centimeters of water pressure). How many who didn't know their setting knew there even WAS a setting? If you're ever hospitalized and can't get your machine brought in, it's important information to know.

/my life was saved once by rumble strips
 
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