TURN OFF THE MASHERS ON THE DETENTION LEVEL!

Compacted twice, minor injuries. Seems like an ineffective compacting mechanism.

Tanthalas39: Compacted twice, minor injuries. Seems like an ineffective compacting mechanism.

Water doesn't really compress that well.

How exactly is it that this guy was smart enough to think better of driving drunk, yet stupid enough to think it was a good idea to sleep in a dumpster.

I wonder if there is more to this story. Like, maybe his friends dumped him in there as a joke.

theorellior: Hand Banana: theorellior: Tanthalas39: Compacted twice, minor injuries. Seems like an ineffective compacting mechanism.

There's a lot of empty space in garbage.

Isn't that the point of compacting it?

Well, yes, but garbage trucks don't have hardcore compactors, they're just squishing it down to get a few more bags in there. There's plenty of squish space in there before you start popping people like grapes.

Now asphyxiation, that's a whole 'nother story.

Or broken glass...

stonicus: theorellior: Hand Banana: theorellior: Tanthalas39: Compacted twice, minor injuries. Seems like an ineffective compacting mechanism.

There's a lot of empty space in garbage.

Isn't that the point of compacting it?

Well, yes, but garbage trucks don't have hardcore compactors, they're just squishing it down to get a few more bags in there. There's plenty of squish space in there before you start popping people like grapes.

Now asphyxiation, that's a whole 'nother story.

Or broken glass...

Or pointed sticks...

I Am The Bishop Of East Anglia: stonicus: theorellior: Hand Banana: theorellior: Tanthalas39: Compacted twice, minor injuries. Seems like an ineffective compacting mechanism.

There's a lot of empty space in garbage.

Isn't that the point of compacting it?

Well, yes, but garbage trucks don't have hardcore compactors, they're just squishing it down to get a few more bags in there. There's plenty of squish space in there before you start popping people like grapes.

Now asphyxiation, that's a whole 'nother story.

Or broken glass...

Or pointed sticks...

Or dirty diapers...

Why didn't he sleep in his car?

Imagine the horror on the guy's face as he hears the truck pick up the dumpster. He claws desperately at the sides of the steel container, screaming for help as he slides down into the dim depths of the truck. The driver lowers the dumpster back into place without hearing the pitiful cries from within the steel beast he is driving, then flips the lever to activate the compactor.

The hapless victim hears the whine of the hydraulics and yells for help again but no one hears him. Desperately staring at the wall of trash crushing its way towards him he becomes aware of a few pale objects at face level heading his way. As the garbage piles up around him he realizes too late what those objects are: a scattering of very full, very nasty, very malodorous ... DIAPERS!

The horror! Twice he is compacted in the foul embrace of steel and filth before a soul-rending scream escapes his lungs and reaches the driver, chilling him to his very bones. The driver releases the poor man from the truck, and pleads with him to stay for medical attention but the victim takes a good deal of convincing before he is willing to wait for the ambulance to arrive. He had, after all, been through a traumatic experience that would take years of therapy to overcome. The hardest thing about the whole misadventure was going to be explaining it to his friends and family back home.
They would never understand him, and would ridicule him to the end of his days.


/best I could manage on short notice...

Tanthalas39: Compacted twice, minor injuries. Seems like an ineffective compacting mechanism.

This. What kind of crappy compactor wouldn't turn a homeless dude into paste?

OTOH, I'm sure the driver is very, very thankful he doesn't have to live with accidentally pasting a homeless guy for the rest of his life.

Weird that they're picking up garbage at 1am. Also, could be this dude passed out and nice strip club bouncers put him in the garbage.