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(Perth Now)   According to Jean-Claude Van Damme, if you didn't have sex with Kylie Minogue, that's abnormal   (perthnow.com.au) divider line 65
    More: Obvious, Kylie Minogue, Jean Claude Van Damme, nineties, Jim Carrey, Street Fighter  
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8006 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 13 Aug 2012 at 8:20 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



65 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-08-13 02:43:40 AM  
Reason 4,192 I hate Jean-Claude Van Damme.
 
2012-08-13 03:05:50 AM  
out of context it sounds douchey.
 
2012-08-13 08:15:55 AM  
You have to forgive him. This was after a long night of cigarettes, wiskey, and the wild wild women.
 
2012-08-13 08:26:11 AM  
userserve-ak.last.fm
 
2012-08-13 08:26:51 AM  
loft965.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-08-13 08:27:39 AM  
www.celebpicturesnow.com
 
2012-08-13 08:28:21 AM  
www.wallpaperextreme.com
 
2012-08-13 08:29:21 AM  
www.kylie-minogue-nude.net
 
2012-08-13 08:32:05 AM  
lh4.googleusercontent.com
Hai guis
what's goin on
in this thread?
 
2012-08-13 08:33:13 AM  
He was apparently not the only one farked up on drugs and booze at the time...she turned right around and starred in Bio-Dome.
 
2012-08-13 08:36:38 AM  
www.kylie-minogue.com

I'd quarter-circle her joystick. If you know what I mean.

/and I think you do
 
2012-08-13 08:39:07 AM  
I had no idea she was in Street Fighter, since I never saw it.

If she's present, and she offers herself, the correct answer is YES.
 
2012-08-13 08:42:43 AM  
Has anyone seen Kylie? She's this tall
 
2012-08-13 08:46:26 AM  
Kylie Minogue Thread! SONIC BOOOOM!
 
2012-08-13 08:46:28 AM  

Jim from Saint Paul: [www.kylie-minogue.com image 287x376]

I'd quarter-circle her joystick. If you know what I mean.

/and I think you do


I remember montage MTV Europe did for this movie

♫I should be so lucky (cut to Kylie kicking somebody's head)
I should be so lucky (cut to Kylie kicking somebody's else head)
I should be so lucky in love♫ (cut to Kylie shooting bazooka)
 
2012-08-13 08:47:46 AM  

LewDux: Has anyone seen Kylie? She's this tall


As a dude who dates 6 foot tall women, a little variety wouldn't be so bad.
 
2012-08-13 08:51:18 AM  
There are people who haven't? I'd hate to be those losers.
 
2012-08-13 08:57:01 AM  
I would be inclined to agree.
 
2012-08-13 09:00:58 AM  

thebpem: LewDux: Has anyone seen Kylie? She's this tall

As a dude who dates 6 foot tall women, a little variety wouldn't be so bad.


How is Snu Snu working out?

/too used to short women over here. They seem to be the only ones interested in tall guys
 
2012-08-13 09:03:58 AM  

LewDux: Has anyone seen Kylie? She's this tall


Most of the respondents to this did nazi what you did there.
 
2012-08-13 09:19:40 AM  
He's seen more tail than a San Fransico Protologist.
 
2012-08-13 09:22:10 AM  

vudukungfu: He's seen more tail than a San Fransico Protologist.


Forgive us our typos, as we forgive those who typo before us
 
2012-08-13 09:22:17 AM  

thebpem: LewDux: Has anyone seen Kylie? She's this tall

As a dude who dates 6 foot tall women, a little variety wouldn't be so bad.


When you say "a little variety", do you mean "a little variety" or FROM a "little" variety?
 
2012-08-13 09:38:43 AM  

Gunny Highway: You have to forgive him. This was after a long night of cigarettes cigareets, wiskey whusky, and the wild wild women.


Fixed
 
2012-08-13 09:39:46 AM  
"I knew Thailand very well, so I showed her my Thailand."

I'm damme sure he showed her what bangkok was all about.
 
2012-08-13 09:58:08 AM  
i2.photobucket.com

i2.photobucket.com

i2.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-13 10:06:28 AM  
I thought her name was Elisa Day?
 
2012-08-13 10:07:24 AM  
i253.photobucket.com

Foreplay the Van Damme way. First, get two chairs. Do the splits between just between the two chairs. Just at the point when your nutsack is about to split. Then begin kicking your lover's banana tree over and over and over again. When it falls, then and only then you are ready for lovemaking.
 
2012-08-13 10:34:32 AM  

brap: Then begin kicking your lover's banana tree over and over and over again. When it falls, then and only then you are ready for lovemaking.


I don't think I'd enjoy getting kicked in the banana tree...

/I don't think I'm doing this right
 
2012-08-13 10:35:58 AM  
 
2012-08-13 10:58:14 AM  
Dat ass
 
2012-08-13 11:05:31 AM  

Jim from Saint Paul: [www.kylie-minogue.com image 287x376]

I'd quarter-circle her joystick. If you know what I mean.

/and I think you do


I'd F, D, DF + FP that, if you know what I mean.
 
2012-08-13 11:16:10 AM  
I'd use bankas face bite on her female area....
 
2012-08-13 11:45:04 AM  

solcofn: [i2.photobucket.com image 468x293]

[i2.photobucket.com image 640x480]

[i2.photobucket.com image 350x300]


was expecting a reference to her Agent Provocateur campaign. yeah...
 
2012-08-13 12:05:07 PM  
I haven't seen many of his films and not really a fan, but have to say I loved him in JCVD.
 
2012-08-13 12:10:55 PM  
Who the hell can blame him. She's incrediblly beautiful, her accent gets me too.....
 
2012-08-13 12:17:01 PM  

EngineerBoy: I haven't seen many of his films and not really a fan, but have to say I loved him in JCVD.


This. I really enjoyed that movie. Dude deserves an award for his monologue in that.
 
2012-08-13 12:19:24 PM  
This thread delivers.
 
2012-08-13 12:31:09 PM  
Jean-Claude Van Damme is a man-whore. Always has been. Always will be.

/he should do the splits more often in movies
//preferably while nearly naked, again
///maybe him and Viggo Mortensen can hook up for an asscheek action extravaganza
 
2012-08-13 01:07:44 PM  
No JVCD thread is complete without this. Unfortunately it's too big to embed on Fark...

Creepy JVCD gif
 
2012-08-13 01:20:39 PM  

Paka Ono: No JVCD thread is complete without this. Unfortunately it's too big to embed on Fark...

Creepy JVCD gif


That's not creepy, he's just European.
 
2012-08-13 01:36:25 PM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Jean-Claude Van Damme
///maybe him and Viggo Mortensen can hook up for an asscheek action extravaganza


24.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-08-13 01:38:20 PM  
media.comicvine.com
 
2012-08-13 01:39:21 PM  
He sonic boomed dat ass.
 
2012-08-13 01:45:21 PM  

Trocadero: [media.comicvine.com image 500x564]


Oh. So Kylie Minogue was Cammy. I remember the Cammy character, she took Sonya Blade's sexualized thigh crushes and advanced them into absurdity. The worst part was that the Cammy character never looked like it could pull off the thigh moves in the game as a form of defense or offense. She didn't have Chun Li's build. She was stick thin. Her moves were strictly sexual. Not believeable.
 
2012-08-13 01:59:32 PM  

thebpem: LewDux: Has anyone seen Kylie? She's this tall

As a dude who dates 6 foot tall women, a little variety wouldn't be so bad.


You're dating all six at the same time? That's quite the midget fetish you've got.
 
2012-08-13 02:00:25 PM  

sithon: out of context it sounds douchey.


haha yeah. I thought he was saying she was a dirty whore who bedded everybody within range, but he's just saying "how could you NOT have sex with her? she's so beautiful and lovely and charming"

Bullshiat website is just exploiting an out of context soundbite.
 
2012-08-13 02:15:49 PM  
FTFA:
"Sometimes you let go of stuff ... I don't know, maybe. Yes. OK. Yes, yes, yes. It happened. I was in Thailand, we had an affair. Sweet kiss, beautiful lovemaking. It would be abnormal not to have had an affair, she's so beautiful and she was there in front of me every day with a beautiful smile, simpatico, so charming, she wasn't acting like a big star. I knew Thailand very well, so I showed her my Thailand. She's a great lady."

I think he meant to say "I knew Thailand very well, so I showed her my Bangcock." He's foreign so he messed up that joke.
 
2012-08-13 02:28:26 PM  

Jim from Saint Paul: [www.kylie-minogue.com image 287x376]

I'd quarter-circle her joystick. If you know what I mean.

/and I think you do


Are you saying she has a penis?
 
2012-08-13 02:29:22 PM  
Once again, I've been classified as abnormal.

/so lonely
 
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