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(USA Today)   Powerball jackpot rises to $305 million. What would YOU do with the cash?   ( usatoday.com) divider line
    More: Cool  
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4765 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Aug 2012 at 7:04 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-12 08:35:10 PM  

T.M.S.: jake_lex: Honestly, the first thing I'd do is go see a tax lawyer, and here would be my first words to him or her: "Jack Whittaker. Make sure I don't end up like Jack Whittaker."

Don't leave hundreds of thousands in cash in the trunk of your car?


From the wikipedia article on Whittaker: On August 5, 2003, thieves broke into his car while it was parked at the Pink Pony, a strip club in Cross Lanes, West Virginia. The thieves went away with $545,000 in cash.[3] Two employees at the club, namely, the general manager and dancer manager, who were romantically linked, were later arrested and charged with a plot to put drugs in Whittaker's drinks and then rob him.[4] On January 25, 2004, thieves once again broke into his car, this time making off with an estimated $200,000 in cash that was later recovered.

Motherfarker left more than half a million in his car, got robbed, then left $200,000 in his car and got robbed again. How farking stupid do you have to be?
 
2012-08-12 08:35:21 PM  

farkityfarker: Actually, I'm going to spend the $2 I didn't waste on the lottery to buy a McDouble and a McChicken for lunch.


You sound frugal.
 
2012-08-12 08:35:35 PM  
images3.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
A7
2012-08-12 08:36:58 PM  
Move to Paraguay.
 
2012-08-12 08:40:29 PM  

Onkel Buck: diaphoresis: I would go club baby seals on live tv until the Dumbocrat and Repubican politicians are all put in jail and vocal chords are severed.

Might I make suggestion that you spend some of that money on better comedy writers.


Not comedy. I'd srsly do it if I thought it would work.

I might save back 2 million to go overseas and live on oceanfront property.
 
2012-08-12 08:40:34 PM  
Well I wouldn't do this Link
 
2012-08-12 08:40:48 PM  
I'm going to get 100 people to "go in" and buy tickets. I won't actually buy the tickets and pocket the profits.
 
2012-08-12 08:43:53 PM  
Link
"I'm gonna get me a bottle of tequila and find me one of them Keno girls that can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch and just kinda kick back."
 
2012-08-12 08:45:47 PM  
Finally have that meal I've been saving up for.
 
2012-08-12 08:46:08 PM  
Turn it into billions of dollars and put phase one of my world conquest plans into action.

...but I'll never win the lottery because the only people that win the lottery seem to be people that want to buy houses and cars, and have absolutely no plans to do anything with it other than spend it all as fast as possible with no return.
 
2012-08-12 08:48:37 PM  

Cuchulane: farkityfarker: Actually, I'm going to spend the $2 I didn't waste on the lottery to buy a McDouble and a McChicken for lunch.

You sound frugal.


i bet you have all the McDonald's commercials memorized too.
 
2012-08-12 08:49:25 PM  

Michael10101: I'm going to get 100 people to "go in" and buy tickets. I won't actually buy the tickets and pocket the profits.


I don't think "profits" is the right word you're looking for here. "money that I stole" is more accurate.
 
2012-08-12 08:50:59 PM  
Pay my student loans off, pay off my parents' bills, give my brother money for college, and disappear. Live quietly thereafter.
 
2012-08-12 08:51:32 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: Cuchulane: farkityfarker: Actually, I'm going to spend the $2 I didn't waste on the lottery to buy a McDouble and a McChicken for lunch.

You sound frugal.

i bet you have all the McDonald's commercials memorized too.


All those Dollar Menunaires are smart.
 
2012-08-12 08:54:56 PM  
Tell. No. One.
 
2012-08-12 08:54:59 PM  
I would buy a Mount Blanc pen, a case of WHOLE cashews (no cheap pieces for me anymore!), and fill my car with gas. Then do some good shiat with teh money!
 
2012-08-12 08:57:46 PM  

Vodka Zombie: Buy a congressman.


I'd buy two Congressmen and make them battle it out.
 
2012-08-12 08:58:09 PM  

balzafyre: I would buy a Mount Blanc pen, a case of WHOLE cashews (no cheap pieces for me anymore!), and fill my car with gas. Then do some good shiat with teh money!


What's with this cashews thing? Someone else mentioned that.
 
2012-08-12 08:59:59 PM  
The answer never changes...

I'd find a perfectly reasonable house somewhat near a typical university. Within that house would be a single wall that I would fill with as many degrees as I could get in a lifetime.
 
2012-08-12 09:00:22 PM  
Give 10% to Jeebus Via Westboro Baptist church.
 
2012-08-12 09:03:19 PM  
I would be dead in two months . Due to all the new girlfriends ( Gotta have eye candy with ya while handing out giant checks to charity . ) Of course I would give to charity, help family , and take a vacation , and any other cleches associated withthe lottery .
 
2012-08-12 09:03:42 PM  
You all will never know cause as soon as I bank it none of you would ever see my fat ass again )
 
2012-08-12 09:05:20 PM  

shotglasss: Jon iz teh kewl: Cuchulane: farkityfarker: Actually, I'm going to spend the $2 I didn't waste on the lottery to buy a McDouble and a McChicken for lunch.

You sound frugal.

i bet you have all the McDonald's commercials memorized too.

All those Dollar Menunaires are smart.


243 million double cheesburgers from mcdonalds.

nah scratch that

305 million mcdoubles
 
2012-08-12 09:06:25 PM  

Party like Keith Richards and Charlie Sheen for a year, then blow the rest of the money . . .

 
2012-08-12 09:07:27 PM  
Pay off a few bills. What about the rest of it? They'll just have to wait.
 
2012-08-12 09:07:47 PM  
Go to the nearest casino and put it all on a single roulette number. If it hits, I'll have to really think about it.
 
2012-08-12 09:07:58 PM  
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Skr
2012-08-12 09:08:15 PM  
My first action would be to hire an exterminator to take care of the termites in my head that are consuming my wooden thoughts.
 
2012-08-12 09:08:28 PM  

AeAe: one time annuity


*facepalm*
 
2012-08-12 09:13:29 PM  
First, when the media got hold of the story, I would make sure that they mention that I am putting a three month moratorium on any charitable donations while I get my finances arranged properly. Any group that contacts me during that time period (other than automatic mailings that get sent to everybody regardless of financial status) will get no money from me. EVER. After that, I'd start with local groups before dealing with the bigger issues.

Second, and as soon as the money was in an account, I'd set up trust funds for my entire family. Before any charities get any.

Third, I'd send my mother to visit my sister in California and her sister in Maryland while I oversee a complete restoration of our 200-plus-year-old house, which needs it. (Knob and tube wiring. Seriously.)

Fourth, I would apply to the grad schools I really want to attend, including those I thought were way out of my reach.

Fifth, I would buy myself a few houses in places I would like to live: Cape Breton, Cornwall, Scotland, Mt. Desert Island, Vermont... Not big houses (well, unless a castle came up for grabs, because CASTLE); I prefer roughly three bedrooms, nothing more recent than 1920 and nothing too horribly modernized. Up to code is one thing, vinyl siding and beige walls need to DIAF. I want old houses that look old.

Sixth, I would set up my library properly. I'd seek out all the missing books from series or find the last few books by particular authors. I'd buy all the books that I've waited to get until I could get them second-hand because it was the only way I could afford them.

Somewhere in there, I'd buy myself a car or two. A Mini Cooper for fun and a sturdier car (maybe a VW Jetta wagon) for hauling what stuff I need to haul. Caretakers/cleaning staff for the houses (and for Mom, who ain't getting any younger). Do some traveling- anywhere I can reach without flying, even if it means taking a cruise ship as transportation. This isn't solely because of TSA crap; I have just never had any desire to fly. At all. It's cool that we can, but I don't want to.

Yeah, I've put way too much thought into this. It's been a random "What if?" conversation during periods of extreme boredom for a couple different groups of friends.
 
2012-08-12 09:14:07 PM  
T-Boy: Go to the nearest casino and put it all on a single roulette number. If it hits, I'll have to really think about it.

Do you actually think they would let you collect? You'd end up in a hole in the desert.
 
2012-08-12 09:17:11 PM  

Jacque: 1) Hire a lawyer and financial consultant before telling anyone about winning.
2) Dump 70% into some sort of account and only ever spend the interest accumulated over the year.
3) Put away enough in trusts to pay for college (20 years inflation adjusted) for a select group of friends' kids and any kids I may have in the future
4) Help out my family in various ways
5) Travel to all those places I've ever said "I'd like to go there one day"
6) Apartment in Manhattan, House near Yosemite, Apartment in San Fran, House near Denver (all normally sized for me and my family, except maybe the one near Yosemite)
7) Continue earning degrees in all the things that interest me
8) Invest some wisely
9) Invest a little less (and maybe a little more reckless) as an angel investor in some fun startups

/ kinda boring I guess
// try my damnedest to keep the leeches away


WOW! I just 'favorited' your ass.
 
2012-08-12 09:18:56 PM  
Stop worrying about not having worked in 2.5 years and that I only have about $50 left, and I'd have this lump in my thigh checked out.
 
2012-08-12 09:21:26 PM  
Pay off student loans
Pay off medical debt (how does insurance cover so little?)
Punch the mean lady that I work with, then quit
Put some money into an account for my son to use when he is an adult
Pay off our house, or sell it... not sure
Buy an awesome Mid Century house in Oregon, Washington, or Colorado - with a huge yard for gardening
Buy more Mid Century Modern furniture and art
Buy houses for my sisters and my brother-in-law
Pay off any debt that our relatives have
Pay tuition for any relatives that want to go to college
Open a non-profit dental office
 
2012-08-12 09:25:42 PM  
For starters:
otafuku.infoView Full Size


No I won't change

/the shiat I OWN will change, but I won't change....
 
2012-08-12 09:26:19 PM  
Buy everything on GrablesDaughter's Amazon want list and then fly her out and give her an indecent proposal. Die in a mound of coca like Pacino.
 
2012-08-12 09:28:35 PM  
Reality:
Pay back my dad for putting me through grad school (which I have finally officially graduated from as of last week).
Buy Dad & Mom a winter home in Hawaii, on the island of their choosing, so they never have to spend winter in Michigan again.
Buy myself a house big enough so my partner can move in when the time is right, but small enough so that maintenance won't be a pain.
Donate to animal rescues and charities.
Create a scholarship fund for my newest alma mater; possibly get a building named after me in the process.

Fantasy:
Buy a smallish, rocky island; name it something menacing and build a skull fortress. Decorate the fortress to look as if I am getting ready for some 1960s cartoon level villainy.
Hire staff who are contractually obligated to assemble in front of me whenever I yell "MINIONS!"
Be a smash hit author; insist on being a recluse so that all people know about me is that I write stories from a skull fortress.
Enjoy being known as the crazy author lady.

/If I'm going to dream about that much money, my fantasies are going to be ridiculous
//I regret nothing
 
2012-08-12 09:30:02 PM  
oh, and tesla coils. my castle will have LOTS of tesla coils. with big lightening rods.
 
2012-08-12 09:30:56 PM  
It's not really that much money.
 
2012-08-12 09:34:52 PM  
Hire some goons to beat up people who asked me what I was going to with the money.
 
2012-08-12 09:36:07 PM  
10 mil for myself, 10 mil for each of my kids and my mother, the rest I'd donate to various causes within my city.
 
2012-08-12 09:36:50 PM  
Make an offer to buy Fark, because I want to do nothing all day.
 
2012-08-12 09:37:25 PM  
Take the cash value ($153 million or thereabouts after tax). Take 10% of that and blow through it as fast as physically possible. Houses, cars, probably a boat, a really absolutely ridiculous server closet, setting up family, etc. The other 90% goes to some investment accounts, savings, what have you, as safe as possible (shoot for 5% interest a year, I figure, which is probably doable while still remaining pretty safe). For the first 30 years, half of each year's interest is to live on, the other half goes back into the accounts. After 30 years all the interest becomes play money. I haven't figured out what I intend to do with the principal yet, I figure I've probably got awhile to think about it.

My one personal rule for all of the money would be that for every dollar I spend on cars or boats, I also have to give a dollar to charity or charity-like organization, probably no-kill shelters or libraries. Everything else is mine, gotta have a roof over my head and food in my mouth, whatever. But any car bigger/better than a Chevy is purely unnecessary and extravagant, and therefore I will pay my own personal tax for the privilege of having it.
 
2012-08-12 09:41:41 PM  
Start a corporation/research group to build these:

http://www.space.com/10658-laser-rocket-propulsion-technology.html

instablogsimages.comView Full Size


Surface to orbit with less than a $1000 of electricity, and doesn't require the exotic materials you would need for space elevator.

If you have that much liquid assets, why not build a Civilization game wonder?
 
2012-08-12 09:45:55 PM  
TheHighlandHowler : Charitable trust. Honestly.

Aye, me too. To someone like myself, a windfall of such magnitude would be a great responsibility to ensure that greatest amount of good would be done with it. To turn right around and give $150 million of it to the lying thieving cocksuckers of the government would definitely NOT be "being a good steward" with what the good Lord has tested you with. You can take care of your relatives easily enough through any number of the multitude of 501c's, you can pay yourself a salary and take care of all your living and health care needs as the manager of the trust----and if you need some cash money for something just get a dishonest charity group to kick some back to you.
 
2012-08-12 09:46:00 PM  
Give my wife a grand life.............With out me.....somewhere else.
 
2012-08-12 09:49:35 PM  
I would buy up all the radio stations i could and play nothing but Shaggs and Tales From Topographic oceans 24/7.
 
2012-08-12 09:52:58 PM  
I would send money to the Nigerian Prince who has emailed me.
He is struggling to get a fortune released that is rightfully his and he wants to share it with my Family.
He's one he'll of guy.
 
2012-08-12 09:57:16 PM  
I'd pay off all my debt. I'd pay off all of my girlfriends debt and give her money to send to her very poor family. Plan a very over due vacation. Give a huge donation to the local animal shelter where I adopted my dog. Have my mothers coffin moved from NY to CA so she can be close to me. I didn't have enough money to fly her out to CA after her death.
 
2012-08-12 09:57:39 PM  
I'd make Fifty Shades of Gray the biggest bestseller of ALL TIME!
 
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