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(USA Today)   Powerball jackpot rises to $305 million. What would YOU do with the cash?   (usatoday.com) divider line 340
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4746 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Aug 2012 at 7:04 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-12 09:57:39 PM
I'd make Fifty Shades of Gray the biggest bestseller of ALL TIME!
 
2012-08-12 10:00:17 PM
Hubster will be out big game hunting all over the world, while I start our biz consisting of fast food franchises. Already have a list of restaurants and possible locations. Key people planned out in my mind, all intelligent and trusted friends (won't hire family. They can be my charity efforts.) Once the biz gets off the ground, I'll buy a big house on the water and a Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo (nostalgia) and go to college full-time. And visit hubster whenever, wherever.
 
2012-08-12 10:00:41 PM
So many things to do and think about, I'd likely get that stroke I've been working on. Just my luck.

If I managed to live, I'd like to disappear into the Caribbean. On a boat, not a ship, a boat. A nice aft cabin Ocean or one of those sex boats, one of those 10meter express things- or both boats. And buy a bar. And give the booze away.

I'd learn to be fun again.
 
2012-08-12 10:01:16 PM
Yeah yeah but what will you do for a Klondike Bar?
 
2012-08-12 10:04:34 PM
$305 Million?

I'd turn it into billions by starting a new bank or something. I would then use said billions to help fund space research at JAXA, since they still seem to care.
 
2012-08-12 10:05:53 PM
michaelnorthrop.net

A library for kids that can't read that good. It would be several times bigger, of course.
 
2012-08-12 10:05:54 PM
Don't know what I'd do with all of it. But one thing I'd do is to put my parents into an assisted-living community better than the one they're moving into. The place is financially risky. So I'd be gambling on losing $200,000 or having it get tied up for a long time. It wouldn't matter. My parents would be happier.

A big chunk of money would also go into trust funds for a nephew and niece who both have special needs.

Then there would be a trust fund to ensure that my wife and I are taken care of when we're old and feeble and senile.

Beyond that, I don't know. Give most if it away, probably. Buy a pontoon and a modest lake cottage. Build a small studio and recruit some people to play and record blues with me.

Give most of it away. I hope.
 
2012-08-12 10:11:03 PM
1) Help family and friends.
2) Put enough into CDs that I could live comfortably off of the interest for the rest of my life.
3) Get a Batmobile and a life sized Lost in Space Robot
4) Look up this girl who screwed me over, offer her as much money as it takes to get her to sleep with me, then don't sleep with her, don't pay her, and say 'Now we both know you're a whore'. (Yes, I got that from Lex Luthor) lol
 
2012-08-12 10:15:10 PM

incendi: Take it all out in $1 coins.


Did you know you can purchase $1 coins directly from the fed and have them shipped to your home free? Did you know you can pay with a credit card? Did you know you can take said coins to your bank, turn them in to your account, then take the account to pay off your credit card bill? Earn some miles and points while you're at it.
 
2012-08-12 10:18:32 PM
media.egotvonline.com
I'd buy some bigger pots!
 
2012-08-12 10:25:48 PM
build a doomsday machine and get my revenge on the world for my very small penis

/what?
 
2012-08-12 10:26:53 PM
Dahnkster: [media.egotvonline.com image 450x317]
I'd buy some bigger pots!


A modest proposal?
 
2012-08-12 10:27:54 PM
i23.photobucket.com

First, I'd pay the Russians to fly me into space-- to the ISS if they'll still do that, and do a spacewalk.

Then I'd spend around $1 mil to hire people to dig up evidence needed send a certain person to prison where he belongs (VERY long story.)


Finally, after setting up a $10 mil investment fund for me to live comfortably on, I would split the rest among the ACLU, EFF and Amnesty International.
 
2012-08-12 10:31:22 PM
1. Buy a nightclub. The classy kind with martinis and live music. I'd be the guy in the expensive suit who walks around schmoozing. Since I don't know how to run a nightclub, I'd have someone do the grunt work.
2. Hire a hitman to kill Robert Mugabe.
3. Twins (it's obligatory).
4. Create a charity since I don't need that much money.
5. Create a family trust so everyone goes to college if they want. Except they must major in science or engineering. No lawyers and no farking gender studies!
6. Make sure my ex-wife finds out how farking rich I am.
 
2012-08-12 10:33:08 PM
I would get bricks of 10k and walk down the street, pelting them as hard as I could, while I had a group of minstrels singing my own theme song
 
2012-08-12 10:35:07 PM

DoctorCal: AeAe: one time annuity

*facepalm*


I was perusing the comments and that caught me....not at first mind you...but it caught me and my brain, in it's solder vapor induced state (from doing plumbing today) I laughed so hard I woke my daughter.

Good catch! :)
 
2012-08-12 10:36:32 PM
Actually, I DID win a jackpot of that size. The only problem is, I'm the finance minister of a small African country that was just overthrown in a military coup, and I need YOUR help to get it out of the country before it gets confiscated by the new regime...
 
2012-08-12 10:38:04 PM

xl5150: By the way, this thread is a shining example of why it's not a good idea (economically) to let people who aren't financially intelligent have large sums of money. People like me keep the economy going by making wise choices and investments, which has a better overall effect on the economy than a bunch of yahoos with a windfall who piss away their money on paying off debts that they've already unwisely accumulated, charities, and fancy cars.


I know you're very proud of that $1K of Google stock you own, and that you think you're going to be very rich some day, but you're still making a fool of yourself.
 
2012-08-12 10:39:30 PM
Net payout to me would be $144,343,000

I would invest the hell out of it in various closed end funds and other stocks that pay dividends and generate ~$962,286.66 CASH a month to live on.
 
2012-08-12 10:39:31 PM
Competent legal and financial consultants to 1) hide my farking identity as the winner and 2) invest prudently and conservatively while preserving the corpus of my winnings post-tax is steps 1a and 1b. Living off of whatever earnings are generated from the principal is a cardinal rule. My house is paid off, my kids' college funding is already secured and most of my relatives are well off enough that anything I gave them would be play money, which would be my only stipulation for taking any cash from me. Can't buy a roof or replace the HVAC, but you can buy a hot tub or a vacation in Tahiti or eat in five star restaurants for a month.

As for me, my needs would actually be much simpler. I used to think I would buy loads of exotic cars, houses in numerous vacation spots, fly here, there and everywhere and generally live like a spoiled brat. But not now.

I would still buy a few super nice cars, but just a few. I would buy one or two really nice properties, but just one or two - not dozens. I would travel extensively, but it would be on a bike. A bicycle, not a motorcycle. I would have the minimum equipment to camp if needed, but credit card touring would be standard operating procedure. I would immerse myself in whatever culture was present where I was traveling. I would finally learn multiple languages and be fluent in numerous customs as well. If I felt like driving somewhere, I'd just rent something and do it, then get back on the bike. Flashy and expensive clothes, loads of material possessions and generally owning a bunch of stuff is exactly what I DON'T want. I want to relax, have fun and enjoy the world. Worrying about my expensive crap in an expensive house three thousand miles away isn't conducive to relaxing.

Charitable contributions are integral and essential to my spending policy, but with rare exceptions they have to conform to the "live off of the earnings" rule. I can't take it with me, so dispersal of that principal corpus will begin at some point before I die. It won't happen right away.

Sharing those travel experiences and having others learn about cultures, languages and customs would be about the best contribution to humanity I could make. The more we all know about each other, the less reason we have to fall back on ignorance and centuries of intolerance and hatred. Getting people to think outside the tiny little confines of organized, corrupt and inherently flawed religion would be considered a success in my book.

It's not how much you have - it's what you do with what you have.
 
2012-08-12 10:44:15 PM
Its my dream to start a nonprofit organization to provide education and medical care to people in Cambodia. 305 mil would certainly go a long way toward reaching that goal.
 
2012-08-12 10:44:26 PM
Not sure people grasp how much money this is. Take payout, pay taxes and put 100 mill in the bank earning 5% and you're taking home, after taxes, like 3.5 mill per year, ~300k per month, 70k per week, 10k per day.

/just an example, don't get all pedantic about tax and interest rates
//it's a metric farkload of money is what I'm saying
 
2012-08-12 10:47:56 PM

GRCooper: Not sure people grasp how much money this is. Take payout, pay taxes and put 100 mill in the bank earning 5% and you're taking home, after taxes, like 3.5 mill per year, ~300k per month, 70k per week, 10k per day.

/just an example, don't get all pedantic about tax and interest rates
//it's a metric farkload of money is what I'm saying


5% from the bank? Is this what rich people actually get? Interest on my savings sucks.
 
2012-08-12 10:50:06 PM
Buy an island and tell the world to go fark off.
 
2012-08-12 10:55:09 PM
Buy a 1960's vintage D-18 or a J45 and pay to have it re fretted (and whatever else is required.) Pick up a reissue tube Bassman for the Subsonic.
Buy a nice little club with a liquor license, hire a good BBQ chef and run open mic nights 3 times a week.

I'd buy you a fur coat... but not a real fur coat, that's cruel.
 
2012-08-12 10:56:08 PM

Dahnkster: [media.egotvonline.com image 450x317]
I'd buy some bigger pots!


stop doing that. it's never funny. and u think it is. cause your gay and human life ain't worth shiat
 
2012-08-12 11:00:04 PM

NeoCortex42: GRCooper: Not sure people grasp how much money this is. Take payout, pay taxes and put 100 mill in the bank earning 5% and you're taking home, after taxes, like 3.5 mill per year, ~300k per month, 70k per week, 10k per day.

/just an example, don't get all pedantic about tax and interest rates
//it's a metric farkload of money is what I'm saying

5% from the bank? Is this what rich people actually get? Interest on my savings sucks.


Not from a bank, but FAX (a closed end fund) pays 5.32%. Lots of CEFs pay much more.
 
2012-08-12 11:01:08 PM
First I would buy a house and set up a trust fund for my friends' two developmentally disabled daughters, because its been over a year and Habitat for Humanity still hasn't been able to finish their farking house. Then I would set up a fund for my other friend who is trapped in a wheelchair and on O2 due to peripheral neuropathy and farked up lungs and suffering under loads of medical debt as a result. I would then distribute income to other friends to get them out of any outstanding debts they might have and set them up for the rest of their lives. Finally I would invest the remaining funds to allow me to have a modest income, set up a hut in the desert away from everyone, get a fast Internet line put in, and then look around for charitable causes I could put money towards to improve the human condition.

Plus I'd buy hookers. Lots and lots of hookers.
 
2012-08-12 11:01:39 PM
Set my boys up with trusts that would pay out only for education until the age of 25, half at 25, the remainder at 35. Use it to teach them about savings and power of investing.

Present my wife with full blown divorce/settlement papers. Sign now and get your half; otherwise, I will drag my feet.

Buy uber-condo over looking nearby small town square and begin building house with large garage. Continue my Z car collection with one of each model to rebuild from the ground up.

Casino tours of each and every state where it is allowed.

shiat on my boss' desk
 
2012-08-12 11:01:42 PM
Invest in my bank account, buy a nice house, and then develop a plan on how to maintain my wealth while assisting others. On the bright side, it would definitely make my future Masters and Ph.D (in two separate subject matters, ha ha!) a lot easier to fund.
 
2012-08-12 11:03:02 PM

NeoCortex42: GRCooper: Not sure people grasp how much money this is. Take payout, pay taxes and put 100 mill in the bank earning 5% and you're taking home, after taxes, like 3.5 mill per year, ~300k per month, 70k per week, 10k per day.

/just an example, don't get all pedantic about tax and interest rates
//it's a metric farkload of money is what I'm saying

5% from the bank? Is this what rich people actually get? Interest on my savings sucks.


It's, like, 1% ... so that example completely falls apart. After taxes that's only about $500k. Not bad, but certainly not obscene.
 
2012-08-12 11:06:31 PM

djh0101010: I'd build a metric farkton of these:

[media.gazettextra.com image 700x395]

...and then I'd make portions of them available to smaller investors who can't swing an entire installation at once, co-op style. And then my part of the profits would go back into more of them plus a ridiculous lifestyle.


Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
 
2012-08-12 11:07:23 PM
Spend a TON on Kickstarter projects that tickle my fancy. And travel.
 
2012-08-12 11:14:16 PM

MrBigglesworth: NeoCortex42: GRCooper: Not sure people grasp how much money this is. Take payout, pay taxes and put 100 mill in the bank earning 5% and you're taking home, after taxes, like 3.5 mill per year, ~300k per month, 70k per week, 10k per day.

/just an example, don't get all pedantic about tax and interest rates
//it's a metric farkload of money is what I'm saying

5% from the bank? Is this what rich people actually get? Interest on my savings sucks.

Not from a bank, but FAX (a closed end fund) pays 5.32%. Lots of CEFs pay much more.


I don't know much about investing. How secure are those for investments on a scale of savings account-->Facebook stock?

With that much money, my priority would be protecting the principle.
 
2012-08-12 11:15:50 PM
can we please not greenlight corporate social networking spam
 
2012-08-12 11:15:57 PM
I'd go to Vegas and bet it all on black.
 
2012-08-12 11:17:40 PM
Free TF for everyone.
 
2012-08-12 11:23:34 PM
I'd fark every last whore at the bunny ranch
 
2012-08-12 11:26:42 PM
Oh jeez, he said "bank" instead of just "invest at" 5% so his example falls apart.!!!!!

What am I gonna do with my money? Hire someone to crotch kick you assmunchers.
 
2012-08-12 11:31:18 PM

xl5150: salvador.hardin: Open 3 IRA accounts?

You wouldn't be allowed. Your income would be WAY too high.


Well duh. I'd do it retroactively.
 
2012-08-12 11:38:10 PM

GRCooper: Oh jeez, he said "bank" instead of just "invest at" 5% so his example falls apart.!!!!!

What am I gonna do with my money? Hire someone to crotch kick you assmunchers.


We're not all invest bankers asshole.
 
2012-08-12 11:50:54 PM
Set aside money for investment income ($10-odd million)
Set up a investment fund for my future kids' college education ($5 million)
Build a castle out in rural Maryland, maybe around Crownsville ($2-5 million)

Set up a philanthropic organization to give big shots in the arm to my favorite charities and other nonprofit organizations ($180 million)

...and assume the rest goes to taxes. There; I'm done. Kind of boring, but we're frankly talking way more money than I could possibly know how to even spend.
 
2012-08-13 12:00:06 AM
I would buy an old abandoned factory and the land around it, then refurb the areas I was to live and party in. I would then buy people, and make them my servants and have them housed in my "little city". Every weekend we'd have car and bike races that ran around and through the old factory, people would be betting on the races and I'd get a cut no matter what. If anyone messed with us I'd buy them off, I'd probably own my own police force. If someone needed to go missing, no one would say a word.
 
2012-08-13 12:00:53 AM
Pay to outlaw threads about what people would spend the powerball jackpot on.
 
2012-08-13 12:07:32 AM
I'd spend it all on scratch-its.
 
2012-08-13 12:12:58 AM
Investment banker? If you think my example was "high finance", you shouldn't be trusted with a checking account, much less $100+ million ...

/ if you do win, I have some lovely derivatives I can sell you
 
2012-08-13 12:13:22 AM
I would want to keep my own identity rather than change my name after the win. I would hire a lawyer, change my name to Jane Smith, get a changed look/hair color, whatever. Then just bide my time until some incredibly ugly news story blows up. Run in, pick up the cash and bank it. Change my identity BACK to "me". Hopefully live long and prosper.
 
2012-08-13 12:20:25 AM
Donate it all to the Romney Campaign on the condition that once in Office he makes Colonel Allen West Czar of arresting and putting in prison every single member of the Obama Administration and the entire hierarchy of the DNC.

With unlimited powers.
 
2012-08-13 12:21:24 AM
I would buy a house with 100 acres and buy heavy equipment to dig holes. Like an adult sand box
 
2012-08-13 12:24:22 AM

NewportBarGuy: Pay off my Blockbuster late fees.


DISH Network owns them now so Farkem, keep your money.
 
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