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(Courier Mail)   More and more dog owners are spending big bucks on orthodontic braces, cosmetic dental work, root canal fillings, polishes and mouth washes to give their pooches dazzling, no-gap smiles and "kissable breath." Just adopt a kid already   (couriermail.com.au) divider line 18
    More: Obvious, root canals, Old Dogs, cosmetic dental  
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1995 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Aug 2012 at 8:17 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2012-08-12 08:30:08 AM  
3 votes:
Personally I think kids stink? My dogs smell good.
Cool people own dogs. OLD people have kids.
2012-08-12 10:41:21 AM  
2 votes:
Is this the thread where people complain about how much I spend on my dog, and then out their own wallet-envy by projecting their own inadequacies about their peener by suggesting mine is small because I drive a hummer or a vet, depending on the day?

It's my FARKing money, so eat me. You can suck it just like my neighbor who complained because I built a US$6,000 bubinga wood doghouse with A/C. It's my money dickweed!
2012-08-12 09:58:39 AM  
2 votes:

BarkingUnicorn: SharkTrager: I love dogs, but people who refer to and treat their dogs as their "children", not so much.

The two are not remotely similar.

They are functionally equivalent if your objective is self-gratification, and most pet owners have no other objective.


I'd suggest many parents don't either.
2012-08-12 08:50:50 AM  
2 votes:
I suppose having nice clean teeth makes for a better poo eating experience.
2012-08-12 06:50:28 AM  
2 votes:
The problem with adopting a kid is that someone else's kid will never, ever love you half as much as a dog. Hell, your own kids won't either. Even if they go out in the world and make a billion dollars and give it all to you because they love you that much, it's still only measuring in low percentiles of a dog's affection.

The plus side of the coin is that kids probably won't jump on your lap feet first then let the biggest fart of their lives out as they lay across your legs, pinning you to the sofa where you have no choice but to endure the percolated stench of the ancient canine gut flora, passed down from that great hero Broken-tooth Longstrider, the Ice Age wolf that could fell Mammoths with his flatulence and thus was able to support a pack large enough that he's the distant grandfather of all domestic canines.

So, y'know dogs will love you more but kids will smell better. It's all a matter of your priorities at that point.
2012-08-12 04:26:23 PM  
1 votes:
Several years ago somebody came to our house & sees our Lab/mutt (80 lbs) sleeping in a snowbank on the deck.With absolute horror in their voice they say "OMG,how can you let your poor dog sleep outside like that?!?"

So I opened the door & said "Hank,wanna come inside?"

He just looked at me & went back to sleep.

Person (friend of a friend) says "I still think it's cruel".Told the farking idiot that the dog absolutely loved the snow & cold & took every opportunity to get out in it,would scratch at the door & bark when it started snowing.

/me & the wife love dogs
//well taken care of,but not pampered
2012-08-12 11:20:04 AM  
1 votes:

wademh: Why do we put ourselves through this because we always wind up with broken hearts?


Because dogs are awesome? Because we've been bred to need them just as much as they need us? Because that's just one of the responsibilities of domestication?

Sorry to hear you had to do it remotely. That's a hard row to hoe.
2012-08-12 11:16:09 AM  
1 votes:

BarkingUnicorn: MrBigglesworth: The dog market stuff is getting out of hand. Sanitizer for your dogs paws and nose?
http://www.pawtizer.com/
In 2011, Americans spent nearly $51 billion on pet care, up 5% over 2010. Link


I won't go into my usual rant about consumerism, but anyone who thinks that Americans aren't out of their farking minds with the "buy-buy-BUY" mindset, take a look at this:

Total U.S. Pet Industry Expenditures
Year Billions


2012 $52.87 Estimate
2011 $50.96 Actual
2010 $48.35
2009 $45.5
2008 $43.2
2007 $41.2
2006 $38.5
2005 $36.3
2004 $34.4
2003 $32.4
2002 $29.5
2001 $28.5
1998 $23
1996 $21
1994 $17

Just......just farking stop it. You with your personalized cat collar, organic catnip, doggie manicures, specially-made dog food, teeth cleaning for your pets, specially-made douches for your delicate feminine parts (oh wait, that's mine--never mind), doggie daycare, cat treats made out of veal, and contact lens for your pets so that their eyes match.......

Stop it. You're idiots.
2012-08-12 09:52:50 AM  
1 votes:

dickfreckle: Seems like an appropriate thread to post the only pic on the internet that actually makes me homicidal. You're all lucky; am working from home today.



STOP DOING THIS.


The entire Internet out there and the one pic that makes you "homicidal" is an image of a lady with a pug in a stroller?

Alrighty then.
2012-08-12 09:33:35 AM  
1 votes:
I love dogs, but people who refer to and treat their dogs as their "children", not so much.

The two are not remotely similar.
2012-08-12 09:25:14 AM  
1 votes:

wademh: I got a call the other night about my dog, pneumonia and something called megaesophagus. I'm working in Australia and he was back in the US. Was and I had about 90 seconds to make the fatal decision.
Why do we put ourselves through this because we always wind up with broken hearts?


So sorry for your loss. All we can do is give them the best home while we have them.
2012-08-12 09:18:29 AM  
1 votes:

Alexander Mouse: If you want to be worshiped, get a dog, if you want to know your place in the world, get a cat, a very humbling experience.


You enjoy being humbled by an animal that licks its asshole? You're a grown, human being, capable of complex, rational, and abstract thought. You can create. You can use tools to mold the world around you. We even sent a man to the moon.

But being humbled by a cat is awesome? Do you also enjoy your close friends/romantic interests ignoring and/or using you? Aaaaah, now I get it. You're one of those types.

OK, carry on then.
2012-08-12 09:09:37 AM  
1 votes:
If you want to be worshiped, get a dog, if you want to know your place in the world, get a cat, a very humbling experience.
2012-08-12 08:53:23 AM  
1 votes:
Why would you subject a dog to cosmetic dental work? No one gives a shiat if your dog's teeth are crooked, especially your dog - so long as he can still eat. Are there assholes out there that would like their dog just a little bit more if it's teeth were straight? Braces farking hurt and I'd never subject a pet to them for cosmetic reasons.
2012-08-12 08:41:25 AM  
1 votes:
Hate to break it to subby but the bulk of people that treat their dog's like this are not DINKs (dual income no kids) but actually older baby boomers. My parents knows tons of these people and I work around several. The kids moved away, they only see them and their grandchildren at Thanksgiving or Christmas. They don't want to move and their kids don't want them living by them anyways. They get the dog to having something to love and then spoil the shiat out of the dog. These people are too old to be adopting kids and likely won't be approved anyways due to their age.
2012-08-12 08:31:13 AM  
1 votes:

doglover: The problem with adopting a kid is that someone else's kid will never, ever love you half as much as a dog.


true, but dogs die after 15 years. you will go through 4 dogs and 1 adopted kid. ... my suggestion? do both. get your adopted kid a dog! dogs are awesome. (cats ain't bad, either, but get a puppy before a kitten!).
2012-08-12 08:29:30 AM  
1 votes:

snuff3r: doglover: The problem with adopting a kid is that someone else's kid will never, ever love you half as much as a dog. Hell, your own kids won't either. Even if they go out in the world and make a billion dollars and give it all to you because they love you that much, it's still only measuring in low percentiles of a dog's affection.

This might be coming from someone who can't stand dogs (no seriously, i farking hate them) but my kids give me all of the love i need. Plus, I can only send one of them to the salt mines.


Just because you have horrible opinions and they're all wrong and you would not pass muster for any occupation but professional pooper scooper if I were king (yes, entirely because you don't like dogs. Seriously, it'd be important.) doesn't mean you're not right. Kids do give you all the love you need. But that's it. Dogs give you not only that, but entire orders of magnitude more. If your kid loved you even half as much as a dog, you'd be Time Magazine's parent of the epoch.
2012-08-12 08:20:09 AM  
1 votes:
And dogs don't care where you put it, they'll lick peanut butter off any part of you.

Try getting your kids to do that.
 
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