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(Fox News)   If you want to live longer, you will eat less, and have more sex. Presumably this means if you have sex with your food, you will be immortal   (magazine.foxnews.com) divider line 42
    More: Interesting, high cholesterol, St. Louis University  
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4096 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Aug 2012 at 8:12 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-11 08:15:08 AM
I predict many seinfeld references in this thread
 
2012-08-11 08:15:16 AM
So I'm going to die pretty soAaauuuggghhh
 
2012-08-11 08:17:48 AM
What's third base feel like?
 
2012-08-11 08:19:11 AM
Which explains why Jeffery Dahmer died early.
 
2012-08-11 08:24:15 AM
I'm farked.
/As I prepare 6 slices of bacon and vietnamese iced coffee for my morning fap session
 
2012-08-11 08:28:02 AM
So those chicken farking repulicans are going to live forever.
 
Skr
2012-08-11 08:36:35 AM
So in other words in order to live a longer life... live healthy? Color me surprised.


/sex is good
//food is good
///exercise is good
 
2012-08-11 08:43:42 AM
Hmmm, according to this I've been dead since 2005.
 
2012-08-11 08:46:33 AM
farm1.staticflickr.com

Eat your vegetables!

/Window seat please
 
2012-08-11 08:48:32 AM
images4.wikia.nocookie.net

Well it does sort of look like a vag. Albeit one that is infested with macro-bacteria.
 
2012-08-11 08:53:32 AM
I think Jeffrey Dahmer kind of disproved this.
 
2012-08-11 08:54:32 AM

MythDragon: [images4.wikia.nocookie.net image 300x300]

Well it does sort of look like a vag. Albeit one that is infested with macro-bacteria.


thank you for successfully ensuring that I'll never eat another frosted doughnut with sprinkles ever again

/I would live forever, not really, but it would seem like it
//need to work on the more sex part, though. does solo count?
 
2012-08-11 08:56:43 AM
So if I eat a lot, will I just have to have constant sex to make up for it?

// My wife must be trying to slash my life expectancy on both things here.
 
2012-08-11 09:04:54 AM
Banana fever
 
2012-08-11 09:13:49 AM
so snort heroin/blow instead of liquor??
 
2012-08-11 09:15:54 AM
MythDragon: [images4.wikia.nocookie.net image 300x300]

Well it does sort of look like a vag. Albeit one that is infested with macro-bacteria.


Ever seen a vaginal scraping? It's not clean in there, you know.
 
2012-08-11 09:24:38 AM
Didn't RTFA but was it written by Dr. Krieger?

i98.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-11 09:29:31 AM

MythDragon: [images4.wikia.nocookie.net image 300x300]

Well it does sort of look like a vag. Albeit one that is infested with macro-bacteria.


Hey it's all pink on the inside
 
2012-08-11 09:33:55 AM

RexTalionis: I think Jeffrey Dahmer kind of disproved this.


Yeah, but wasn't he shanked or beaten to death?

Who knows how long he would have lived otherwise?
 
2012-08-11 09:34:54 AM
Never have I before been able to justify a toblerone in *that* way.
 
2012-08-11 09:35:38 AM

FirstNationalBastard: RexTalionis: I think Jeffrey Dahmer kind of disproved this.

Yeah, but wasn't he shanked or beaten to death?

Who knows how long he would have lived otherwise?


That's the point. He didn't live longer.
 
2012-08-11 09:36:41 AM

bekovich: Never have I before been able to justify a toblerone in *that* way.


You don't know what you've been missing.
 
2012-08-11 09:38:36 AM
Add your own "dick in the mashed potatoes" joke here.
 
2012-08-11 09:41:01 AM
Well, let's just get the obvious out of the way here...
redstaplerchronicles.com
 
2012-08-11 09:41:43 AM
This suggests the Welsh and the Kiwis will be the master race.

/lambs are cute
//that one's a lying bastard
 
2012-08-11 09:49:16 AM
Plus if your pregnant wife eats it afterward, it will cure her morning sickness.
 
2012-08-11 09:49:50 AM
So I need to not eat much and have lots of sex... well go ahead and add me to the list of those of us who are going to die real soon.
 
2012-08-11 09:56:28 AM
The thought of those two people naked just shortened my life three years.
 
2012-08-11 10:10:59 AM
Came for a Highlander reference. Leaving disappoint.

P.s. There can be only one!
 
2012-08-11 10:14:03 AM
well how am i supposed to have SEX? you tell me mr. hot shot.
 
2012-08-11 10:19:38 AM
FTFA: Research shows that you're at greater risk of heart disease without a strong network of friends and family. Loneliness can cause inflammation, and in otherwise healthy people it can be just as dangerous as having high cholesterol or even smoking.

Loneliness seems to pose the greatest risk for elderly people, who are also prone to depression.


Okay, now they're just adding insult to injury.
 
2012-08-11 10:39:02 AM
+1, subby
 
2012-08-11 10:42:25 AM
And sadly, it seems food is alot easier to acquire than sex.
Or rather, cheap food is easier to acquire than decent sex.
 
2012-08-11 10:45:16 AM

GoldDude: Well, let's just get the obvious out of the way here...
[redstaplerchronicles.com image 400x300]



check
 
2012-08-11 10:51:28 AM
"people who watched four or more hours a day were 46 percent more likely to die from any cause than people who watched less than two hours a day"

Because people sitting in front of the TV a lot aren't getting a lot of exercise (like sex), amirite?
 
2012-08-11 11:02:23 AM

grokca: So those chicken farking repulicans are going to live forever.


It's sheep. But it was consensual, so it couldn't be that baaaad.
 
2012-08-11 11:05:04 AM

Martian_Astronomer: FTFA: Research shows that you're at greater risk of heart disease without a strong network of friends and family. Loneliness can cause inflammation, and in otherwise healthy people it can be just as dangerous as having high cholesterol or even smoking.

Loneliness seems to pose the greatest risk for elderly people, who are also prone to depression.

Okay, now they're just adding insult to injury.


So, I'll be dead by 40. Good to know.
 
2012-08-11 11:14:02 AM
I can't hold the mayo any longer.
 
2012-08-11 11:25:12 AM
Guess my wife and I are going to be dead by fifty. Better step up the contributions to the kid's RESP.
 
2012-08-11 12:49:19 PM
growing old is way over-rated. growing old is miserable and painful. i'm sure there are exceptions, as some people are born to athletic parents, they lead a life of exercise and good eating, so good on them, i hope they do well.

my biatch coont of a wife cut off the cookie jar some 10 years ago. fark it, now i buy my right hand really really nice jewelry. please, just kill me now.
 
2012-08-11 01:01:27 PM
Huh. Well, a pinch of prevention, right?

Here, Bessie...

*moooOOOOOO*
 
2012-08-11 01:01:28 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com

/ finds the pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted cured meats
 
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