FARK.com: (7262825) Man arrested for masturbating inside his own home. Right next to the front window. In broad daylight. For days on end

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		Man arrested for masturbating inside his own home. Right next to the front window. In broad daylight. For days on end (nwfdailynews.com)		83
		More: Florida

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7429 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Aug 2012 at 10:46 AM | Favorite | share:

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Ennuipoet		2012-08-11 08:50:40 AM

Even with copious quantities of lotion, the chafing must be terrible.

FirstNationalBastard		2012-08-11 09:51:28 AM

What a jerkoff.

jake_lex		2012-08-11 10:18:06 AM

This does not strike me as a particularly effective defense:

When Hair saw the deputy, he ran from view and put on clothes. When he was asked why he was masturbating in plain view, Hair reportedly answered he didn't know why and it "was stupid."

Read more: http://www.nwfdailynews.com/articles/masturbating-51585-arrested-pace. html#ixzz23FO6uiQj

Paris1127		2012-08-11 10:48:16 AM

Is he making the "sort of want" face?

Mega Steve		2012-08-11 10:50:32 AM

SON I AM DISAPPOINT

ThrobblefootSpectre		2012-08-11 10:51:30 AM

Somebody get that man a computer and an internet connection.

Skr		2012-08-11 10:53:42 AM

Paris1127: Is he making the "sort of want" face?

I immediately thought of Ahmadinejad's Sort of Want as well.

-----

It would be odd having a last name like Hair. I'd think it would make life a bit weird. Perhaps not askew enough to warrant front window flogging of the dolphin, but pretty strange nonetheless.

EZ Writer		2012-08-11 10:53:55 AM

Great, now I have to change my afternoon plans...

Somaticasual		2012-08-11 10:54:13 AM

"When a sheriff's deputy arrived, he saw Hair doing the same thing."

You know, normally seeing a cop car drive up is kindof a buzzkill. And thrills normally wear off over a few days, even for the most audacious exhibitionist...

NipplesMcGee		2012-08-11 10:54:29 AM

Mega Steve: [images.onset.freedom.com image 560x420]
SON I AM DISAPPOINT

Why do these guys ALL have the same style glasses? Is it part of the creeper uniform?

zamboni		2012-08-11 10:55:08 AM

FirstNationalBastard: What a jerkoff.

He can beat this as long as he doesn't rub someone the wrong way.

AbbeySomeone		2012-08-11 10:55:42 AM

Just gimme that hair
Long, beautiful hair...

/obscure

sgnilward		2012-08-11 10:57:47 AM

This begs the question : What's his Fark handle?

Iowan73		2012-08-11 10:57:51 AM

He looks a little like Eric Clapton. Good thing he didn't shoot the deputy.

zamboni		2012-08-11 10:58:25 AM

Paris1127: Is he making the "sort of want" face?

It looks like... it looks like... aw man! He's still doing it! Damn it, son, put that thing away!

MythDragon		2012-08-11 10:58:38 AM

MattyBlast		2012-08-11 10:59:35 AM

Nice, Subby. I see what you did there.

Aye Carumba		2012-08-11 10:59:47 AM

A hair raising story indeed.

finnished		2012-08-11 10:59:56 AM

He's dedicated to his art.

krafty420		2012-08-11 11:01:33 AM

If you're wondering why they call him "Hair", just have a look at his palms

rickane58		2012-08-11 11:03:05 AM

sgnilward: This begs the question
No it doesn't
Link

AbbeySomeone		2012-08-11 11:03:53 AM

googlled for your nostalgia

austin_millbarge		2012-08-11 11:05:13 AM

WHY ERIC CLAPTON WHY!?!?!

eyeq360		2012-08-11 11:05:54 AM

Ennuipoet: Even with copious quantities of lotion, the chafing must be terrible.

I hope he remembered that the Bengay goes on his elbow.

kaimaru		2012-08-11 11:06:49 AM

I was arrested????

KrispyKritter		2012-08-11 11:07:09 AM

Come on Jamaica
In Jamaica all day
Dancing with your darling
Do Jamaica jerk-off that way

Come on Jamaica
Everybody say
We're all happy in Jamaica
Do Jamaica Jerk-off that way

palad		2012-08-11 11:07:11 AM

Dude just sounds like he has a weird fetish. But his fetish isn't the problem, his lack of farking decency is.

AbbeySomeone		2012-08-11 11:08:17 AM

rickane58: sgnilward: This begs the question
No it doesn't
Link

BTQ works for all intensive purposes rickane.

spentmiles		2012-08-11 11:11:11 AM

I have masturbated for days...

... because that would be too long.

ltdanman44		2012-08-11 11:11:12 AM

Ennuipoet: Even with copious quantities of lotion, the chafing must be terrible.

1.bp.blogspot.com

spentmiles		2012-08-11 11:11:47 AM

spentmiles: I have masturbated for days...

... because that would be too long.

Man, I'm a loser.

Igor Jakovsky		2012-08-11 11:14:41 AM

austin_millbarge: WHY ERIC CLAPTON WHY!?!?!

They don't call him slow hand for nothing.

GranoblasticMan		2012-08-11 11:21:17 AM

The man has got stamina!

Kurmudgeon		2012-08-11 11:23:34 AM

jake_lex: This does not strike me as a particularly effective defense:

When Hair saw the deputy, he ran from view and put on clothes. When he was asked why he was masturbating in plain view, Hair reportedly answered he didn't know why and it "was stupid."

I do admire his honesty.

jayphat		2012-08-11 11:24:08 AM

FirstNationalBastard: What a jerkoff.

And we're done here.

Mugato		2012-08-11 11:25:51 AM

Iowan73: He looks a little like Eric Clapton. Good thing he didn't shoot the deputy.

That wouldn't be the worst thing that happened to Clapton involving a window.

Nuclear Monk		2012-08-11 11:26:13 AM

Was it just one long marathon session, or was he just on a regular schedule?

easypray		2012-08-11 11:27:46 AM

you Liberals want to take away our private property now? Only in Obamaland!! People just hate the constitution

offmymeds		2012-08-11 11:29:04 AM

"Hair...heh heh!"

"Heh heh!"

Splish		2012-08-11 11:29:10 AM

Of course, in order to convict him they'll need someone willing to testify that they were watching him masturbate for several days.

kidsizedcoffin		2012-08-11 11:29:43 AM

So is this the eroding of our constitutional rights that I keep hearing about?

/Almost done g-man

austin_millbarge		2012-08-11 11:35:40 AM

easypray: you Liberals want to take away our private property now? Only in Obamaland!! People just hate the constitution

That one's so weak I think you owe the thread troll points.

-2/10

Madaynun		2012-08-11 11:35:45 AM

note to self....Buy window tint.

ger579		2012-08-11 11:37:24 AM

Do you know who else masturbates for days?

eyeq360		2012-08-11 11:39:31 AM

Madaynun: note to self....Buy window tint.
And some curtains, just to be double sure. And remember to close them.

offmymeds		2012-08-11 11:39:41 AM

ger579: Do you know who else masturbates for days?

Romney?

bluejeansonfire		2012-08-11 11:39:48 AM

Wait, isn't this what Dave Chappelle said he would do in order to establish his alibi in case the police were looking to arrest some "usual suspects"?

"Officer, Dave Chappelle couldn't have done it.... I saw him in his window masturbating.... He was holding a calendar and today's paper. I'm certain of it."

aukutsutsu		2012-08-11 11:41:24 AM

AbbeySomeone: Just gimme that hair
Long, beautiful hair...

/obscure

Oh say can you see, my eyes?
If you can, then my hair's too short.

liverleef		2012-08-11 11:42:43 AM

A girl I work with had a problem with the neighbor running to the window and jerking off every time she went outside. She went and knocked on his door and told him that she knew his wife was at work and as soon as she gets home she''ll learn all about his little hobby of masturbating at the window. Problem solved.

Mugato		2012-08-11 11:43:04 AM

If it was an attractive woman masturbating in front of a window for days, the crowd that gathered around would be called the perverts.

I don't know what my point is.

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