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(Sun Sentinel)   Man accused of groping a woman at Wal-Mart tells cops he did it because, "her booty looked so good." This is exactly why we have the right to remain silent   (sun-sentinel.com) divider line 93
    More: Florida, North Lauderdale  
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6775 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Aug 2012 at 12:03 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-11 09:16:59 AM
i.ytimg.com
And so we learn that emulating bad movies in real life is not wise.
 
2012-08-11 09:18:15 AM
Did she, in fact, have an itty bitty waist and a round thing in his face?
 
2012-08-11 09:30:41 AM

Sybarite: Did she, in fact, have an itty bitty waist and a round thing in his face?


And, even more important, did he get sprung?
 
2012-08-11 09:31:37 AM

Sybarite: Did she, in fact, have an itty bitty waist and a round thing in his face?


I believe the proper reaction to that is to get sprung, groping is not mentioned.
 
2012-08-11 09:47:55 AM

EvilEgg: Sybarite: Did she, in fact, have an itty bitty waist and a round thing in his face?

I believe the proper reaction to that is to get sprung, groping is not mentioned.



He just couldn't help himself, actin' like an animal.
 
2012-08-11 09:59:47 AM
http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lgbxvhcVe11qa44bco1_500.gif
 
2012-08-11 10:00:32 AM
Dammit. Try that again

28.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-08-11 11:06:00 AM
Listen to me very much as I think there is much of the judgment being placed on this individual but if the woman was wearing the outfits in such a way that it was inviting or enticing I believe he could make the defense in court that this was enbuttment. Yes you might have never heard of enbuttment but in the case of Witherspoon v. Crown (1684) this was the issue at the hand when the man saw the enticing bosom of the young lady who was doing the bathing in the local lake after falling in the pig sty. So at this moment he grabbed the butt of the lady and was charged with the criminal act but won in court by saying that this individual did the enbuttment of he.

What I would need to provide the full advice to this individual would be the photograph of the outfit of the woman in the question but it is possible that if the booty of she looked this good then perhaps there was the sudden impulse of this man to do the grabbing and the enbuttment defense would be the successful thing. Good luck good sir as I pity the individual who cannot otherwise get the woman. What is the Fark handle of he? LAUGHTER OL!
 
2012-08-11 11:49:13 AM
Charged with: Not Being Handsome Enough to Pull That shiat.
 
2012-08-11 12:04:37 PM
Is this guy a running contender for the "Dumbass Criminal of the Year" award?
 
2012-08-11 12:07:23 PM
I'm going to need a picture of said booty before I pass judgment; have to have all the facts and such.
 
2012-08-11 12:07:56 PM

'Her booty looked so good,' accused North Lauderdale groper says

i.imgur.com

I feel 'ya, dog.
 
2012-08-11 12:08:03 PM
Florida tag busy calling 1-900-MIX-ALOT??
 
2012-08-11 12:08:06 PM
I wonder if the judge will have to see a picture of said booty before making a judgement.

"I'll allow it!"
 
2012-08-11 12:08:15 PM
Came here expecting photos of nice booty. Leaving disappointed.
 
2012-08-11 12:09:12 PM

wambu: 'Her booty looked so good,' accused North Lauderdale groper says



I feel 'ya, dog.


There are 2 pictures of her?!? I need a name dammit!
 
2012-08-11 12:09:44 PM
Why isn't there a Dumbass Florida tag?
 
2012-08-11 12:09:47 PM

iheartscotch: I'm going to need a picture of said booty before I pass judgment; have to have all the facts and such.


t2.gstatic.com
 
2012-08-11 12:09:56 PM

BronyMedic: Is this guy a running contender for the "Dumbass Criminal of the Year" award?


I am not sure as I have done the searching for this award on the Internet and cannot find the criteria for this. I would think if there is such the award you would find the rules of this spelled out but perhaps he is the contender for this for not keeping the mouth of he shut when talking to the police as one should NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER do the talking to the police when there is the suspicion of the criminal acting and perhaps even when there is not this. So if this is the requirement for the "Dumbass Criminal of the Year" award then he could be the open candidate. Perhaps if there is the nomination needed for this you could post the website for the award and I would be the willing individual to write the nomination for this person. You are welcome.
 
2012-08-11 12:10:30 PM
But if he looked like Denzel, she'd be all like ,' Go on with your fine self.'
 
2012-08-11 12:14:20 PM

meow said the dog: Listen to me very much as I think there is much of the judgment being placed on this individual but if the woman was wearing the outfits in such a way that it was inviting or enticing I believe he could make the defense in court that this was enbuttment. Yes you might have never heard of enbuttment but in the case of Witherspoon v. Crown (1684) this was the issue at the hand when the man saw the enticing bosom of the young lady who was doing the bathing in the local lake after falling in the pig sty. So at this moment he grabbed the butt of the lady and was charged with the criminal act but won in court by saying that this individual did the enbuttment of he.

What I would need to provide the full advice to this individual would be the photograph of the outfit of the woman in the question but it is possible that if the booty of she looked this good then perhaps there was the sudden impulse of this man to do the grabbing and the enbuttment defense would be the successful thing. Good luck good sir as I pity the individual who cannot otherwise get the woman. What is the Fark handle of he? LAUGHTER OL!


Ok,ok,you win.You can have the first orange.Just don't eat any more toads.
 
2012-08-11 12:15:03 PM
If she didn't want to get groped, why did she grow and display such appealing buttocks? I ask you, is having toothsome, unprotected buttocks the act of an entirely innocent person? It's like a pool with no fence around it on a hot day. A hot pie, cooling on the windosill, sending peach tendrils of scent out into the neighborhood to tempt passer-by. Clearly this woman's buttocks comprise an attractive nuisance and this man must receive compensation for his distress. If only there were a lawyer willing to take the case. . .
 
2012-08-11 12:15:28 PM
In other news, there are actually gropable women at Wal-Mart.
 
2012-08-11 12:17:28 PM
meow said the dog: BronyMedic: Is this guy a running contender for the "Dumbass Criminal of the Year" award?

I am not sure as I have done the searching for this award on the Internet and cannot find the criteria for this. I would think if there is such the award you would find the rules of this spelled out but perhaps he is the contender for this for not keeping the mouth of he shut when talking to the police as one should NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER do the talking to the police when there is the suspicion of the criminal acting and perhaps even when there is not this. So if this is the requirement for the "Dumbass Criminal of the Year" award then he could be the open candidate. Perhaps if there is the nomination needed for this you could post the website for the award and I would be the willing individual to write the nomination for this person. You are welcome.


I think we have our first criteria here: Opening your mouth to the farking police rather than taking the best course possible and SHUTTING THE fark UP.

Don't farking volunteer information. Only answer within the limited confines of their questions, and you don't even have to do that. You know what? Just SHUT THE fark UP. You want your lawyer immediately.

/I love cops, but seriously. STFU, and get a lawyer. The chances of getting screwed over by the system, and/or a lazy/overworked/incompetent cop are too great.
 
2012-08-11 12:17:33 PM

wambu: 'Her booty looked so good,' accused North Lauderdale groper says

[i.imgur.com image 425x600]

I feel 'ya, dog.


I'm not sure is her arse is the main focal point of her body.
 
2012-08-11 12:17:37 PM
media.peopleofwalmart.com
 
2012-08-11 12:20:01 PM
Less People of Walmart, more Anna Song.
 
2012-08-11 12:20:08 PM
i1.kym-cdn.comwww.trbimg.com

Yeah!
 
2012-08-11 12:21:03 PM

BronyMedic: meow said the dog: BronyMedic: Is this guy a running contender for the "Dumbass Criminal of the Year" award?

I am not sure as I have done the searching for this award on the Internet and cannot find the criteria for this. I would think if there is such the award you would find the rules of this spelled out but perhaps he is the contender for this for not keeping the mouth of he shut when talking to the police as one should NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER do the talking to the police when there is the suspicion of the criminal acting and perhaps even when there is not this. So if this is the requirement for the "Dumbass Criminal of the Year" award then he could be the open candidate. Perhaps if there is the nomination needed for this you could post the website for the award and I would be the willing individual to write the nomination for this person. You are welcome.

I think we have our first criteria here: Opening your mouth to the farking police rather than taking the best course possible and SHUTTING THE fark UP.

Don't farking volunteer information. Only answer within the limited confines of their questions, and you don't even have to do that. You know what? Just SHUT THE fark UP. You want your lawyer immediately.

/I love cops, but seriously. STFU, and get a lawyer. The chances of getting screwed over by the system, and/or a lazy/overworked/incompetent cop are too great.


^^^ This. Except for the love cops part. I don't hate them, I just look towards them with a suspicious eye.
Treat cops like vampires. Avoid encounters, and never invite them into your house.
 
2012-08-11 12:21:45 PM
us10.memecdn.com
 
2012-08-11 12:22:35 PM
Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Avoid encounters, and never invite them into your house.

You don't know what you're missing. Cops make the best tops, and they have the handcuffs handy!

/yes. I went there.
 
2012-08-11 12:22:42 PM
homerize.com

sometimes a man just needs some sweet, sweet can.
 
2012-08-11 12:23:04 PM
No, we have the right to remain silent so that you can't be forced to incriminate yourself. If you do it voluntarily, that's your problem.
 
2012-08-11 12:25:10 PM

MoronLessOff: Less People of Walmart, more Anna Song.


And more Gianna Michaels.
And more Ashley Sage Ellison.
And more Ryanne Marie.
And more Inga Kaboom. (thanks bomb!)

Those should all come with links, but I'm working. So go google yourself.
 
2012-08-11 12:26:15 PM
Must not grab
i.imgur.com
 
2012-08-11 12:30:21 PM
Dumbass tag trumps Florida in this?
 
2012-08-11 12:30:38 PM
I aint say I would, I aint saying you should

img823.imageshack.us


but I understand
 
2012-08-11 12:32:08 PM
This thread is going places.
 
2012-08-11 12:37:19 PM
i2.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-08-11 12:37:58 PM
Given that this happened at WalMart, her ass was probably big enough that it had developed it's own gravitational field, and pulled him in. The poor bast@rd was lucky to have escaped with his life.
 
2012-08-11 12:38:09 PM

LDM90: wambu: 'Her booty looked so good,' accused North Lauderdale groper says



I feel 'ya, dog.

There are 2 pictures of her?!? I need a name dammit!


Anna Song, aka Tanya Song.

Now get out there, bittorrent that shiat, and make us all proud.
 
2012-08-11 12:39:32 PM
I know that feel...

web.mit.edu

/would LIKE to know that feel
//worth jail time IMO
///three slashies is a must
 
2012-08-11 12:41:08 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: wambu: 'Her booty looked so good,' accused North Lauderdale groper says

[i.imgur.com image 425x600]

I feel 'ya, dog.

I'm not sure is her arse is the main focal point of her body.


Well, it's a solid number two.
 
2012-08-11 12:43:34 PM

dv-ous: LDM90: wambu: 'Her booty looked so good,' accused North Lauderdale groper says



I feel 'ya, dog.

There are 2 pictures of her?!? I need a name dammit!

Anna Song, aka Tanya Song.

Now get out there, bittorrent that shiat, and make us all proud.


Here you go! NFSW
 
2012-08-11 12:43:47 PM
*clicks link*

That's not an Italian.
 
2012-08-11 12:43:48 PM

MoronLessOff: MoronLessOff: Less People of Walmart, more Anna Song.

And more Gianna Michaels.
And more Ashley Sage Ellison.
And more Ryanne Marie.
And more Inga Kaboom. (thanks bomb!)

Those should all come with links, but I'm working. So go google yourself.


Hahha I knew you'd be in this thread...
 
2012-08-11 12:44:45 PM
Damn he can't afford a hundred bucks to get out?
 
2012-08-11 12:46:15 PM

charmbomb: MoronLessOff: MoronLessOff: Less People of Walmart, more Anna Song.

And more Gianna Michaels.
And more Ashley Sage Ellison.
And more Ryanne Marie.
And more Inga Kaboom. (thanks bomb!)

Those should all come with links, but I'm working. So go google yourself.

Hahha I knew you'd be in this thread...


And hopefully I'll be able to offer some support this time around. But it will be a few hours.
 
2012-08-11 12:46:30 PM
j.wigflip.com
 
2012-08-11 12:47:17 PM
img3.imageshack.us
 
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