FARK.com: (7262719) Welcome to the Official Romney Vice-Presidential Speculation Thread: 6am Pacific, 9am Eastern. No spoilers, we want to feel the suspense when Portman kneecaps Ryan with a crowbar on time-delay

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		Welcome to the Official Romney Vice-Presidential Speculation Thread: 6am Pacific, 9am Eastern. No spoilers, we want to feel the suspense when Portman kneecaps Ryan with a crowbar on time-delay (fark.com)		848
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WaffleStomper		2012-08-11 06:04:49 AM

gimmegimme: WaffleStomper: Mmmm...the tears of liberals will be so delicious to wash down the left over rainbows and unicorns that N0bama couldn't deliver.

How does it feel to know that your party is incompetent and has such a pitiful stable of candidates?

And how will you feel when these incompetents trounce the dems in November?

Befuddled		2012-08-11 06:05:09 AM

If Ryan is Romney's pick, it seems to me to be more about pushing where the perceived center is even further to the right than trying to win this November. I think the right is playing the long game, hoping to win it all at some point way down the road and they're willing to lose any number of battles to get that big win.

Lunchlady		2012-08-11 06:06:53 AM

coco ebert: I just read Ryan's Wikipedia page. Wow does he have a thin resume. Not just thin, but what's there isn't very impressive.

Also, he's Catholic. Hmm, a Mormon and a Catholic. Liberals wouldn't care because we don't tend to be religious bigots, but is this going to be a problem for any evangelicals?

Yes, but only in states that Obama probably wasn't going to be competitive in anyway so it won't make a difference electorally.

indylaw		2012-08-11 06:07:07 AM

Solid Muldoon: A president with magic underwear and a vice-president who thinks the Earth is six thousand years old.

Seriously?

Seriously?!?!?!

Wait, Paul Ryan is a young-earth creationist? Citation?

gimmegimme		2012-08-11 06:08:01 AM

WaffleStomper: gimmegimme: WaffleStomper: Mmmm...the tears of liberals will be so delicious to wash down the left over rainbows and unicorns that N0bama couldn't deliver.

How does it feel to know that your party is incompetent and has such a pitiful stable of candidates?

And how will you feel when these incompetents trounce the dems in November?

It's not worthwhile to consider how I'll feel then for the same reason I shouldn't bother wondering how I'll feel after my night of gladiatorial lovemaking with Kristen Bell and Mila Kunis on the International Space Station.

VJStinger		2012-08-11 06:08:50 AM

WaffleStomper: Mmmm...the tears of liberals will be so delicious to wash down the left over rainbows and unicorns that N0bama couldn't deliver.

Here's some Music to go with it. Not that it will ever happen. Nice song though.

MmmmBacon		2012-08-11 06:09:27 AM

gimmegimme: MmmmBacon: gimmegimme: coco ebert: Is Ryan a religious fundie as well? Is he Catholic?

According to his Wikipedia page, he is a "Christian who loves Jesus with all of his heart, as all good Americans must."

Oh, that'll go over well with every good American who isn't a Christian (like me). Yep.

This guy Ryan is a bucket of laughs already!

I was kidding about the actual quote because of the mention a couple posts previous that the RNC was already sanitizing Ryan's Wikipedia page. Sorry.

As compensation, take a look at the VERY SPARSE Conservapedia page for Ryan:

Link

Wow.

Ronnie_Zman		2012-08-11 06:11:09 AM

indylaw		2012-08-11 06:11:22 AM

coco ebert: but is this going to be a problem for any evangelicals?

Maybe a few, but there was no shortage of evangelical fundamentalists lining up behind Rick Santorum as the great white woman-hating hope last fall.

As far as I can tell Ryan's a "Hey, I'm Irish right?" Catholic rather than a true believer. His true faith is Ayn Rand's selfish objectivist philosophy with a picture of white Catholic Jesus shoddily plastered over it for the benefit of Wisconsin voters. That could cost some evangelical votes.

MmmmBacon		2012-08-11 06:13:17 AM

Paul Ryan is an anchor around Mitt Romney's neck.

VJStinger		2012-08-11 06:13:24 AM

indylaw: coco ebert: but is this going to be a problem for any evangelicals?

Maybe a few, but there was no shortage of evangelical fundamentalists lining up behind Rick Santorum as the great white woman-hating hope last fall.

As far as I can tell Ryan's a "Hey, I'm Irish right?" Catholic rather than a true believer. His true faith is Ayn Rand's selfish objectivist philosophy with a picture of white Catholic Jesus shoddily plastered over it for the benefit of Wisconsin voters. That could cost some evangelical votes.

like I said.. a boat anchor with a short chain.

Bigdogdaddy		2012-08-11 06:15:58 AM

cc_rider		2012-08-11 06:16:14 AM

MmmmBacon		2012-08-11 06:19:08 AM

I think the bigger issue here is that the GOP once again picked a pair of whites as their ticket, rather than trying to add in even a token amount of diversity, as an attempt to win back some of the non-white conservatives. At least last time they put a woman on the ticket, this time they couldn't even do that much. Just two non-threatening white males.

Way to court the woman-haters and racists, GOP! Then again, that is the GOP's base, so I suppose the choice really was obvious.

coco ebert		2012-08-11 06:20:23 AM

Of course no one has answered the all-important question- who will play Ryan on SNL? Seth Meyers? Taran Killam? Hmm...

cygnusx13		2012-08-11 06:20:56 AM

Atypical Person Reading Fark: If he loses in November, he can retain his seat - but he can't run for both. Is he up for re-election in November?

I'm sure this has already been ridiculed and mocked,but....seriously dude?

MmmmBacon		2012-08-11 06:22:59 AM

coco ebert: Of course no one has answered the all-important question- who will play Ryan on SNL? Seth Meyers? Taran Killam? Hmm...

I think it would be better if they just used a mannequin standing in the background to portray Ryan during Romney spoofs.

cretinbob		2012-08-11 06:24:20 AM

A Terrible Human		2012-08-11 06:24:44 AM

I really,really hope he picks Ryan. It'll be like 2008 all over again.

bubo_sibiricus		2012-08-11 06:31:32 AM

VJStinger: WaffleStomper: Mmmm...the tears of liberals will be so delicious to wash down the left over rainbows and unicorns that N0bama couldn't deliver.

Here's some Music to go with it. Not that it will ever happen. Nice song though.

Nah, if you're going to have music and unicorns, you have to have this

That video has more logic and sense in one second than Ryan has in a whole speech.

A Randroid pretending to be Catholic. That's rich.

Safe for work? That video? I guess that depends on what you classify as work - no nudity or sex, but people will think you're weird. It's Saturday morning. You should be having breakfast and drinking beer.

VJStinger		2012-08-11 06:32:31 AM

A Terrible Human: I really,really hope he picks Ryan. It'll be like 2008 all over again.

i1091.photobucket.com

coco ebert		2012-08-11 06:33:12 AM

MmmmBacon: coco ebert: Of course no one has answered the all-important question- who will play Ryan on SNL? Seth Meyers? Taran Killam? Hmm...

I think it would be better if they just used a mannequin standing in the background to portray Ryan during Romney spoofs.

Hell, I'd watch that.

Pronoun		2012-08-11 06:35:55 AM

Love listening to Blizter early in the morning and missing some key goddamn phrases/words. Perfect pitch for fair and balanced.

VJStinger		2012-08-11 06:36:57 AM

bubo_sibiricus: VJStinger: WaffleStomper: Mmmm...the tears of liberals will be so delicious to wash down the left over rainbows and unicorns that N0bama couldn't deliver.

Here's some Music to go with it. Not that it will ever happen. Nice song though.

Nah, if you're going to have music and unicorns, you have to have this

That video has more logic and sense in one second than Ryan has in a whole speech.

A Randroid pretending to be Catholic. That's rich.

Safe for work? That video? I guess that depends on what you classify as work - no nudity or sex, but people will think you're weird. It's Saturday morning. You should be having breakfast and drinking beer.

What. in. the. shiat. am. I. watching?!?
im drinking beer but... fark.

dickfreckle		2012-08-11 06:37:38 AM

Recently people were floating the Ryan idea in a Fark thread, and lots of posts basically said, "Not even Romney and Co. are that stupid." I said that a Ryan pick, while strategically retarded, would surprise me as much as the sun rising the following day.

And here we are, apparently.

Funny things, Republicans. You can predict them either by how the vocal but minority sect behaves, or by assuming they'll do the dumbest thing possible. Either way you get the correct prediction. We should start gambling on this sort of thing. I've had worst luck betting on the Super Bowl.

Dumbass.

dickfreckle		2012-08-11 06:40:09 AM

bubo_sibiricus: It's Saturday morning. You should be having breakfast and drinking beer.

These are the truest words yet uttered in these hallowed tabs.

bubo_sibiricus		2012-08-11 06:41:13 AM

VJStinger: What. in. the. shiat. am. I. watching?!?

Welcome to the internet. ;-D

VJStinger		2012-08-11 06:47:29 AM

bubo_sibiricus: VJStinger: What. in. the. shiat. am. I. watching?!?

Welcome to the internet. ;-D

OK

MmmmBacon		2012-08-11 06:48:08 AM

dickfreckle: Recently people were floating the Ryan idea in a Fark thread, and lots of posts basically said, "Not even Romney and Co. are that stupid." I said that a Ryan pick, while strategically retarded, would surprise me as much as the sun rising the following day.

And here we are, apparently.

Funny things, Republicans. You can predict them either by how the vocal but minority sect behaves, or by assuming they'll do the dumbest thing possible. Either way you get the correct prediction. We should start gambling on this sort of thing. I've had worst luck betting on the Super Bowl.

Dumbass.

In all truth, I think the GOP is either desperate to bring in the Far Right vote, or have given up on the Presidency and will use the Romney/Ryan ticket to help get more seats for the GOP in the House and Senate. The only problem is, if the Democrats play their cards right (and I don't think they will, but they have a chance), they can use the Ryan choice to bring out young voters as in 2008, and perhaps take back some seats in the House and Senate at the same time.

It's a risk by the GOP, but being Romney is down around 9 points in many polls, maybe they think only a bold move is going to turn things around.

cygnusx13		2012-08-11 06:50:01 AM

Atypical Person Reading Fark: Sabyen91: lyndsayj: So Ryan's dad died at 55; his grandfather at 57; and his great-grandfather at 59 - all of heart attacks. So does that mean he only has another 11 years to live? Great genetics there.

He is only 42.

But, with each generation, his line is dying 2 years younger. He's scheduled to die at 55. 13 years more.

You really really suck.

A Terrible Human		2012-08-11 06:51:48 AM

Fox is saying Rmoney pick Ryan as his running mate

Ahahahahah perfect.

VJStinger		2012-08-11 06:52:46 AM

cygnusx13: Atypical Person Reading Fark: Sabyen91: lyndsayj: So Ryan's dad died at 55; his grandfather at 57; and his great-grandfather at 59 - all of heart attacks. So does that mean he only has another 11 years to live? Great genetics there.

He is only 42.

But, with each generation, his line is dying 2 years younger. He's scheduled to die at 55. 13 years more.

You really really suck.

Paul Ryan everybody! Congrats on your slau-pick there guy, man, guy. have fun.

dickfreckle		2012-08-11 06:52:48 AM

cc_rider: [i28.photobucket.com image 474x637]

OK, that was awesome.

Pronoun		2012-08-11 06:56:38 AM

MmmmBacon: dickfreckle: Recently people were floating the Ryan idea in a Fark thread, and lots of posts basically said, "Not even Romney and Co. are that stupid." I said that a Ryan pick, while strategically retarded, would surprise me as much as the sun rising the following day.

And here we are, apparently.

Funny things, Republicans. You can predict them either by how the vocal but minority sect behaves, or by assuming they'll do the dumbest thing possible. Either way you get the correct prediction. We should start gambling on this sort of thing. I've had worst luck betting on the Super Bowl.

Dumbass.

In all truth, I think the GOP is either desperate to bring in the Far Right vote, or have given up on the Presidency and will use the Romney/Ryan ticket to help get more seats for the GOP in the House and Senate. The only problem is, if the Democrats play their cards right (and I don't think they will, but they have a chance), they can use the Ryan choice to bring out young voters as in 2008, and perhaps take back some seats in the House and Senate at the same time.

It's a risk by the GOP, but being Romney is down around 9 points in many polls, maybe they think only a bold move is going to turn things around.

Need to factor in voter purges/ ID laws/ Early Voter days. Lots of things in play that reduce typically Dem voters.

rdu_voyager		2012-08-11 06:57:33 AM

VJStinger:
What. in. the. shiat. am. I. watching?!?
im drinking beer but... fark.

If you drop some acid, that'll make more sense.

GoldSpider		2012-08-11 07:03:00 AM

What did you expect? That he'd court the moderate vote with a pick like Huntsman?

Romney's only chance is to double down on derp. Picking a Norquist stooge is certainly consistent with that strategy.

david_gaithersburg		2012-08-11 07:03:22 AM

Yes!

bubo_sibiricus		2012-08-11 07:07:05 AM

VJStinger: bubo_sibiricus: VJStinger: What. in. the. shiat. am. I. watching?!?

Welcome to the internet. ;-D

OK

I'm actually familiar with Squarepusher. Someone in irc introduced me to his music. That song reminds me a lot of the experimental electronic music I used to listen to back in the early 80s from WRIU.

I have... varied tastes, which are highly dependent on mood.

Cornelius Dribble		2012-08-11 07:07:14 AM

Ignore the Ryan rumors, I still think it's going to be this guy:

www.addictinginfo.org

Lenny_da_Hog		2012-08-11 07:08:27 AM

Mitt ROTFLU -- LOL Ryan 2012!

suebhoney		2012-08-11 07:16:01 AM

Mitt, the presidential equivalent to those badminton teams that were thrown out of the Olympics for intentionally throwing their game.

jso2897		2012-08-11 07:16:24 AM

WaffleStomper: Mmmm...the tears of liberals will be so delicious to wash down the left over rainbows and unicorns that N0bama couldn't deliver.

At this point, if anything bad enough to cause obama to lose this election happens, a whole lot of people are going to be crying. But the odds are getting pretty long - if I were you, I'd be shifting from "boastful prediction" mode to "victimized excuse-making" mode about now - but YMMV.

ThisSideofSteinway		2012-08-11 07:16:39 AM

Oh, my Lord, he's that bloody stupid.

Yes, Mittster, let's make this about Big Ideas - Americans like Big Ideas (provided that they, you know, don't involve turning the clock back to the 19th Century).

Alphax		2012-08-11 07:18:32 AM

I don't think there was any 'good' choice for him. But one of the guys who wants to make it so that once again, anyone too old to work is automatically poor? That's not wise.

Miss Stein		2012-08-11 07:21:30 AM

exPFCWintergreen: Him? That's it! There is no way the Romney campaign isn't some Producers-style scam. If they end up winning-

Romney:Look at these headlines: An overwhelming victory

Ryan: No way out...

Romney: A surprise landslide!

Ryan: No way out...

Romney: He was boring, elitist, insulting- and the electorate loved every minute of it!

Ryan: No way out...

Romney: How could this happen? The campaign was lousy and long, we did everything wrong Where did we go right?

Ryan: Christmas came early to America this year, and guess who they stuffed in our stocking? Ayn Rand!

Romney: The lies were so crass and so crude even Karl would've booed
Where did we go right?

Ryan: Last night a star was born in D.C., the lovely campaign manager Miss Michele Crazy-Eyes Mountain Dew Jesus Machine Gun Kickass God Elizibeth Bachmann
We predict that her name will soon be up in history- If they can find afford enough ink

Together:
We searched K Street on and off
For donors at the trough
We had cop-outs and distortions by the score.
And to trip the Fox fantastic
We picked surrogates who were spastic!
If anyone persuade, we persuaded them out the door

Romney: They shouted hooray for my wealth on display
Where did we go right?

Ryan: Our spokesman Marcus was so gay
he nearly flew away
Where did we go right?

Romney: A ticket so easy to despise

Ryan:Now we're up for the Nobel peace prize!

Together: Oh, where, oh, where, tell us. Where did we go right?

Romney: The biggest paradigm of the decade! Mitt Romney is a political genius! Now they like me! Oh, we knew we couldn't lose-

Together: Half of Florida were Jews

Romney: It's the end of our careers

Ryan: We'll have four more years

Together: Tell us where did we go right?

It's 4am and I just woke up the house with my laughing. You magnificent bastard. *wiping away tears*

suebhoney		2012-08-11 07:21:42 AM

presidential candidate

Never post upon waking lol

Pronoun		2012-08-11 07:22:22 AM

For all those that must have declined, it must be a large obstacle in future terms. I speak specifically of Jindal. Ryan as a younger vetted VP on the win puts Jindal back 12 years on the win, 8 years on a loss with a large Ryan support. 4 years at best for him. Bear in mind that Jindal only desires upward mobility from Gov. This puts a formerly blue state into an odd position as Jindal as dictated red state since election and the exodus of opposition.

TV's Vinnie		2012-08-11 07:22:51 AM

Sabyen91: RosevilleDan: [www.highway29.net image 338x635]

Where the hell is ferret-face? Paul Ryan is not likeable like Klinger.

"Ferret Face" is GW Bush.

images.sodahead.com

Lenny_da_Hog		2012-08-11 07:23:02 AM

Pay no attention to the tax returns behind the curtain!

jso2897		2012-08-11 07:23:11 AM

Alphax: I don't think there was any 'good' choice for him. But one of the guys who wants to make it so that once again, anyone too old to work is automatically poor? That's not wise.

Last time I checked, something like a third of "likely Republican voters" were 62 or over.

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