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8357 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 10 Aug 2012 at 10:33 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-10 06:41:44 PM
Patrick Swayze's Ghost: "Avenge me...AVEEEEENGE MEEEEEEEE!"
 
2012-08-10 08:16:46 PM
Ugh.
 
2012-08-10 08:20:33 PM

CavalierEternal: Patrick Swayze's Ghost: "Avenge me...AVEEEEENGE MEEEEEEEE!"


Harry Dean Stanton should have won an oscar for that role....
 
2012-08-10 08:24:06 PM
how can they lose? they have thor!
 
2012-08-10 08:24:57 PM

some_beer_drinker: how can they lose? they have thor!


And The Comedian! It's Thor and The Comedian killing Communists! What's not to love?
 
2012-08-10 08:27:16 PM
Re: Around 1:20ish:

What the hell would U.S. Central Command have to do with a North Korean invasion of North America? U.S. Pacific Command would handle the North Koreans while they're still en route, and U.S. Northern Command would be homeland defense. CENTCOM is the Middle East.

Secondly, having a Marine home on leave leading the Wolverines is pretty dumb. The whole point of the original if that they were high school kids who had absolutely no idea how to stage an insurgency, and basically made it up as they went along. They only got additional training once they linked up the Air Force colonel, who wasn't exactly an expert on infantry tactics.

Thirdly, it was somewhat realistic that the Wolverines only had minor successes against the Red Army's rear echelon pogues pulling occupation duty. They got wiped out in a week by elite Spetznaz troops, and now they win the whole goddamn war?
 
2012-08-10 09:06:46 PM
Why the fark would North Korea invade the US? I know they don't want to piss off the Chinese by making the Chinamen the antagonists but that would make at least a little more sense. Not a lot but a little.

Now a movie about the masturbatory 2nd Amendment fantasies the redneck US population have about the people rising up against their own government, THAT would make a kick ass movie and would have some balls.
 
2012-08-10 09:09:10 PM

Sgt Otter: Re: Around 1:20ish:

What the hell would U.S. Central Command have to do with a North Korean invasion of North America? U.S. Pacific Command would handle the North Koreans while they're still en route, and U.S. Northern Command would be homeland defense. CENTCOM is the Middle East.

Secondly, having a Marine home on leave leading the Wolverines is pretty dumb. The whole point of the original if that they were high school kids who had absolutely no idea how to stage an insurgency, and basically made it up as they went along. They only got additional training once they linked up the Air Force colonel, who wasn't exactly an expert on infantry tactics.

Thirdly, it was somewhat realistic that the Wolverines only had minor successes against the Red Army's rear echelon pogues pulling occupation duty. They got wiped out in a week by elite Spetznaz troops, and now they win the whole goddamn war?


All of this. Been seeing a lot of these "blackout" type scenarios being bandied about in film and tv - with the exception of a large high-altitude nuclear blast, it's really not very feasible, and our retaliation to that would be swift and complete.

Just how the hell any country, much less the DPRK, would be able to get any significant number of troop-carrying aircraft over the pacific is mind-numbingly inaccurate. The DPRK can barely feed itself, much less master midair refueling or even procuring the fuel in the first place.

And was that a gottdamned SAM taking down a transport over the CONUS? For fark's sake...
 
2012-08-10 09:15:38 PM
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just an action movie, I should really just relax".
 
2012-08-10 09:38:03 PM

CavalierEternal: some_beer_drinker: how can they lose? they have thor!

And The Comedian! It's Thor and The Comedian killing Communists! What's not to love?


I thought that was George Clooney for a second.
 
2012-08-10 09:44:20 PM

Charlie Freak: All of this. Been seeing a lot of these "blackout" type scenarios being bandied about in film and tv - with the exception of a large high-altitude nuclear blast, it's really not very feasible, and our retaliation to that would be swift and complete.Just how the hell any country, much less the DPRK, would be able to get any significant number of troop-carrying aircraft over the pacific is mind-numbingly inaccurate. The DPRK can barely feed itself, much less master midair refueling or even procuring the fuel in the first place.And was that a gottdamned SAM taking down a transport over the CONUS? For fark's sake...


Probably some variant of stuxnet that the NK switched polarity on. After that instant pwnage.
 
2012-08-10 09:59:13 PM
And the members of Filter cash yet another royalty check.
 
2012-08-10 10:28:29 PM

Charlie Freak: Just how the hell any country, much less the DPRK, would be able to get any significant number of troop-carrying aircraft over the pacific is mind-numbingly inaccurate. The DPRK can barely feed itself, much less master midair refueling or even procuring the fuel in the first place.


North Korea is sitting on $6 trillion of rare earth metals: Link
 
2012-08-10 10:33:48 PM

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: Charlie Freak: Just how the hell any country, much less the DPRK, would be able to get any significant number of troop-carrying aircraft over the pacific is mind-numbingly inaccurate. The DPRK can barely feed itself, much less master midair refueling or even procuring the fuel in the first place.

North Korea is sitting on $6 trillion of rare earth metals: Link


You've also got to remember to that the original Red Dawn took place in an alternate timeline where Western Europe collapsed into the Warsaw Pact, the Cubans and Nicaraguans conquered Central America, etc and so on. I'm sure they can come up with some crazy reason why North Korea is suddenly capable of a successful invasion of the United States.
 
2012-08-10 10:43:51 PM
i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com
You see that? It says China, Right?
 
2012-08-10 10:44:22 PM

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: Charlie Freak: Just how the hell any country, much less the DPRK, would be able to get any significant number of troop-carrying aircraft over the pacific is mind-numbingly inaccurate. The DPRK can barely feed itself, much less master midair refueling or even procuring the fuel in the first place.

North Korea is sitting on $6 trillion of rare earth metals: Link


Keywords: Sitting on.

They've been making a lot of money farming, smuggling, and selling heroin to the Chinese, Indians, and what Japanese will have it. (Sorry if that's stereotyping, but I've long had the impression that the Japanese don't do a lot of illegal narcotics; feel free to correct me.) Narcotics are a state-run industry there, with US estimates placing it around a $2 billion/yr.
 
2012-08-10 10:45:29 PM

Shostie: And the members of Filter cash yet another royalty check.


Song makes so much more sense to me if it's about Cobain, not Dwyer
 
2012-08-10 10:46:37 PM

Charlie Freak: And was that a gottdamned SAM taking down a transport over the CONUS? For fark's sake...


You mean to tell me that you don't have your own shoulder-launched SAM in the closet for just such a possibility? Psh...you're not a Real American®.
 
2012-08-10 10:47:56 PM
BOO
 
2012-08-10 10:48:35 PM

Mugato: Why the fark would North Korea invade the US? I know they don't want to piss off the Chinese by making the Chinamen the antagonists but that would make at least a little more sense. Not a lot but a little.

Now a movie about the masturbatory 2nd Amendment fantasies the redneck US population have about the people rising up against their own government, THAT would make a kick ass movie and would have some balls.


When this was filmed the antagonists WERE Chinese. Someone at the studio panicked that all that sweet Chinese financing for their films might be in jeopardy so they changed everything to reference North Korea in post production.
 
2012-08-10 10:49:57 PM
this movie needs epic portans of beer to make watchable ill bet
 
2012-08-10 10:53:53 PM

CavalierEternal: Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: Charlie Freak: Just how the hell any country, much less the DPRK, would be able to get any significant number of troop-carrying aircraft over the pacific is mind-numbingly inaccurate. The DPRK can barely feed itself, much less master midair refueling or even procuring the fuel in the first place.

North Korea is sitting on $6 trillion of rare earth metals: Link

You've also got to remember to that the original Red Dawn took place in an alternate timeline where Western Europe collapsed into the Warsaw Pact, the Cubans and Nicaraguans conquered Central America, etc and so on. I'm sure they can come up with some crazy reason why North Korea is suddenly capable of a successful invasion of the United States.



With all the talk about how they went back and redid things to change the aggressors from the Chinese to the North Koreans so as not to allegedly upset the Chinese, it would be awesome if the movies 'alternate timeline' consisted of the North Koreans somehow taking over China (underhandedly, not militarily) and using China's resources to attack the U.S. That would at least make more sense and include an added bit of fark you to China.
 
2012-08-10 10:57:59 PM

CavalierEternal: You've also got to remember to that the original Red Dawn took place in an alternate timeline where Western Europe collapsed into the Warsaw Pact, the Cubans and Nicaraguans conquered Central America, etc and so on. I'm sure they can come up with some crazy reason why North Korea is suddenly capable of a successful invasion of the United States.


North Korea won the Korean War. Incorporating South Korea they were way more successful and competent than in real life. Having failed in Korea, the USA didn't even become involved in Vietnam. Japan was isolated and eventually gave into economic pressure and is no longer an ally of the USA. Without Japan as balance, Taiwan was reunited with China and Korea extended their influence over the Philippines. It's all the crazy of North Korea with all the technology and economy of South Korea.
 
2012-08-10 11:00:07 PM

To The Escape Zeppelin!: CavalierEternal: You've also got to remember to that the original Red Dawn took place in an alternate timeline where Western Europe collapsed into the Warsaw Pact, the Cubans and Nicaraguans conquered Central America, etc and so on. I'm sure they can come up with some crazy reason why North Korea is suddenly capable of a successful invasion of the United States.

North Korea won the Korean War. Incorporating South Korea they were way more successful and competent than in real life. Having failed in Korea, the USA didn't even become involved in Vietnam. Japan was isolated and eventually gave into economic pressure and is no longer an ally of the USA. Without Japan as balance, Taiwan was reunited with China and Korea extended their influence over the Philippines. It's all the crazy of North Korea with all the technology and economy of South Korea.


See, there we go! Suspend your disbelief and enjoy the goddamned BAYSPLOSIONS!
 
2012-08-10 11:03:00 PM

Teufelaffe: Charlie Freak: And was that a gottdamned SAM taking down a transport over the CONUS? For fark's sake...

You mean to tell me that you don't have your own shoulder-launched SAM in the closet for just such a possibility? Psh...you're not a Real American®.


Staying alert is the right way to life the high life :) (pops)
 
2012-08-10 11:03:10 PM
That just looks horrible. I can't wait for the DVD, the Rifftrax is going to be amazing!

/also, Thor needs speech lessons
//seriously, he can't manage a proper Norse accent or a halfway decent American one
 
2012-08-10 11:04:00 PM
So it's about a secret weapon developed by North Korea? Riiiiiiight.

You know, the big secret weapon conspiracy theory about North Korea and China is:
Step 1: China bought weather influencing technology from the Soviet Union when it collapsed
Step 2: Used said technology to influence North Korea's weather (steal their rain), which has now been in a drought for 15 years.
Step 3: China sells food to North Korea
Step 4: Profit

Someone should make that into a movie.
 
2012-08-10 11:08:54 PM
So rather than a bunch of kids using their wits to develop rudimentary insurgency tactics, we get a "soldier on leave" who comes with canned military knowledge and skills.
 
2012-08-10 11:10:12 PM

Sgt Otter: What the hell would U.S. Central Command have to do with a North Korean invasion of North America? U.S. Pacific Command would handle the North Koreans while they're still en route, and U.S. Northern Command would be homeland defense. CENTCOM is the Middle East.


I'm pretty sure we could defeat the North Korean Army by laying a pile of Big Macs in their path.

And I intend to see this just so that I can yell "Summon Mjölnir!
 
2012-08-10 11:13:48 PM
Is there any movie nowadays that Chris Hemsworth is not in?
 
2012-08-10 11:14:40 PM
There's just sooooo much wrong with the premise of this movie. I realize that fictional stories such as this require a certain amount of suspension of disbelief, but come on there's limits! Based on this trailer I'd have an easier time believing Harry Potter was a true story.
 
2012-08-10 11:15:01 PM

browneye: Is there any movie nowadays that Chris Hemsworth is not in?


To be fair, he was technically in this movie three years ago when they shot it.
 
2012-08-10 11:15:10 PM
Looks terrible.

I'll still watch it, though. The original has been a favorite since I was a kid. I recognize that it's kinda bad, but it doesn't matter. When we played guns in the woods we pretended we were fighting off invasions of our town. Red Dawn came out and we were like, YES! THAT COULD BE US! We were already half convinced a bunch of 12- and 13-year-olds would be able to do it, and Red Dawn just fueled that.

So the original has a very warm place in my heart, even though I recognize that classic cinema it ain't.

Terrible trailer, though. The original was actually kind of dark and gritty, in its own way. This just looked ... Bay.

All Bay.
 
2012-08-10 11:18:38 PM

browneye: Is there any movie nowadays that Chris Hemsworth is not in?


Considering that most of his movies were completely four years ago and are only now being released, I'm guessing no.
 
2012-08-10 11:19:58 PM
watched that awesome movie red dawn for the first time in about 20 years. wow that move sucked.
 
2012-08-10 11:20:13 PM
Yeah! Wolverines! Casting Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Stockard Channing is perfect. Can't wait to see Hemmy and co kick some ambiguously oriental ass!
 
2012-08-10 11:22:14 PM
This movie makes me hope the Chinese win.
 
2012-08-10 11:24:58 PM
I stopped when I saw North Korean soldiers.
/Not even in farthest stretches of my imagination could this happen.

What was wrong with the original?
 
2012-08-10 11:33:00 PM

rooftop235: I stopped when I saw North Korean soldiers.
/Not even in farthest stretches of my imagination could this happen.

What was wrong with the original?


You'll be laughing the other side of your face when you're slaving in the kimchi mines, friendo.
 
2012-08-10 11:33:14 PM
Remember when it was CHINA invading, not North Korea?

/good times, noodle salad
 
2012-08-10 11:36:36 PM
Oh sweet lord, this is gonna suck harder than a hooker vacuuming a carpet on an oil rig which is also a brothel.
 
2012-08-10 11:43:04 PM
How viable would even a Chinese invasion be, military farkers?

I wouldn't think they had the blue water navy to ship all their occupation troops over.

And I imagine the levels of "don't-give-a-fark" must be pretty high in the PLA as well.
 
2012-08-10 11:54:42 PM
Wow this looks baytastic. and by that I mean it looks like its going to suck so hard we might actually create a singularity that swallows up this solar system into a hellish pit of crap. I just thought it was bad, then we got pretty girl showing up. Not a normal teenager on the run, no, hot model blond girl. If this movie breaks a million dollars at the box office then we as a species deserve to farking die.
 
2012-08-10 11:55:03 PM
As others have said, the only way to make this work would be to pull Nork win in the Korean war, and as a result, history changes massively to their favor.

Although, you would realistically expect to face the mother of all insurgencies if you fought the US like this. We have tens of millions of guns, billions of rounds of ammunition, and wrote the book on dirty tactics. It would be an absolute bloodbath.
 
2012-08-10 11:59:10 PM

Dalek Caan's doomed mistress: That just looks horrible. I can't wait for the DVD, the Rifftrax is going to be amazing!

/also, Thor needs speech lessons
//seriously, he can't manage a proper Norse accent or a halfway decent American one


Next thing you'll know, he'll want to be governor of Cali for yna.
 
2012-08-10 11:59:26 PM
I wish somebody would film this, instead.ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2012-08-11 12:00:19 AM
HOMEFRONT Did it better.

http://youtu.be/h_KwgE6s-Ro?t=55s

/And Still sucked
 
2012-08-11 12:01:00 AM
Worse than I thought it would be, and I didn't even expect it to be watchable.

God help us when the Evil Dead and Back to the Future remakes come out.

/there's not actually a BttF remake...yet.
//I hope
 
2012-08-11 12:01:18 AM

Oh sure, it all starts off simple. You sneeze, they offer you a hankie...next thing you know, you're indoctrinated!

www.islandnet.com
 
2012-08-11 12:03:37 AM

Seth'n'Spectrum: How viable would even a Chinese invasion be, military farkers?

I wouldn't think they had the blue water navy to ship all their occupation troops over.

And I imagine the levels of "don't-give-a-fark" must be pretty high in the PLA as well.


One theory: China could hit coastal cities by converting civvie container ships into troop, tank, helicopter carriers. Obviously, they'd hope no one notices. Without air support (no carriers or nearby airbases to CONUS) and with the US Navy sealing off say the West Coast to China, cutting off resupply and reinforcements ... no matter how many shipments of Nikes and Apple products they initially displace with PLA troops and tanks, it wouldn't be effective past the "WTF is happening" phase. They'd have the docks and immediate areas, but nothing to build a major push like conquering Washington State or California.

Alaska might be different. But the odds are still against them.
 
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