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(CBS DC)   "The best way to cure morning sickness during pregnancy is sperm. But not just any sperm, it should be the sperm of the person who got you pregnant." And then it gets weird   (washington.cbslocal.com) divider line 63
    More: Strange, cure, cure morning sickness, sperm, National Center for Biotechnology Information, oral sex, pregnancy  
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6586 clicks; posted to Geek » on 10 Aug 2012 at 9:33 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-10 04:34:53 PM
This is the greatest news OF ALL TIME!!!
 
2012-08-10 04:50:59 PM
If you'd thought of that ahead of time, you wouldn't have got pregnant in the first place.
 
2012-08-10 04:57:38 PM
I looked up the 2000 paper cited in the article. It's full of scientific giggity:

From the introduction:
Because it is well known that especially oral exposure to antigens can induce tolerance ( [Sosroseno, 1995] and [Brandtzaeg, 1996]) we wondered if this way of tolerance induction might play a role in pregnancies. Exposure of sHLA molecules via this route would theoretically be the most potent way for tolerance induction to foreign HLA antigens. Therefore we investigated whether there is an inverse relation between oral sex and the incidence of preeclampsia by asking a selected group of preeclamptic woman and a control group if they practized oral sex (fellatio) with their partner.

From the materials and methods:
Forty-one consecutive primiparous women with a history of proteinuric preeclampsia and a consecutive control group of 44 primiparous women were asked if they practised oral sex (oral ejaculation) with their partner before the index pregnancy. If the answer was positive, they were asked if they were swallowing the ejaculate or not. No information was asked on quantitative aspects of exposure to seminal plasma
 
2012-08-10 06:10:40 PM
Hell, I'm using this for everything.

"Hiccups? Hang on, open wide."
 
2012-08-10 07:44:59 PM
Huh. This explains why my brother-in-law is always pissed and why his wife has severe morning sickness.

Seems legit.
 
2012-08-10 08:03:46 PM
Michael Mcintyre covered this years ago.

Wife: "Can't you just wank in a cup of tea?"
Michael: "So that goes to show you. Even when it's MEDICALLY NECESSARY, I can't get a bj."
 
2012-08-10 08:26:25 PM
FWD
 
2012-08-10 08:33:35 PM
I'm pretty sure the sperm I left inside her over a month ago are already dead...well, except the one that's already formed a zygote. She's just now getting morning sickness.
 
2012-08-10 08:48:07 PM
You know, if you're already having a hard time keeping things down, sticking something down your throat probably isn't going to help you. But hey, maybe that dude is into bjs AND vomit....so it's a win-win for him!
 
2012-08-10 09:23:46 PM
So if she was blowing lots of guys who didn't creampie her in the first place, it wouldn't be as weird, Submitter? 'Cause that's what it sounds like you're saying.
 
2012-08-10 09:24:26 PM

Coco LaFemme: You know, if you're already having a hard time keeping things down


Just the tip, baby.
 
2012-08-10 09:31:42 PM
file045.bebo.com
 
2012-08-10 09:36:18 PM

MrBallou: From the materials and methods:
Forty-one consecutive primiparous women with a history of proteinuric preeclampsia and a consecutive control group of 44 primiparous women were asked if they practised oral sex (oral ejaculation) with their partner before the index pregnancy. If the answer was positive, they were asked if they were swallowing the ejaculate or not. No information was asked on quantitative aspects of exposure to seminal plasma


You said "primiparous" twice.
 
2012-08-10 09:37:11 PM
delivered orally?

/ or perhaps facially?
 
2012-08-10 09:43:24 PM
So, was the "Hero" tag on vacation?
 
2012-08-10 09:46:43 PM
The top comment to that article is awesome, that person has to be a farker.
 
2012-08-10 09:48:01 PM
This study sounds like it was done by horny expectant fathers probably while sitting at a bar complaining how they aren't getting any.
 
2012-08-10 09:50:39 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

Hooray for SCIENCE!
 
2012-08-10 09:53:26 PM
But what is the best position for this practice, to minnimalize stress to the mother and baby? Should she be on her knees? How many times a day? Safety people!
 
2012-08-10 09:56:04 PM
"Honey? Why isn't my sperm making you feel better? OH GOD! OH GOD! IT'S NOT MY BABY!"
 
2012-08-10 09:58:51 PM

ModernLuddite: "Honey? Why isn't my sperm making you feel better? OH GOD! OH GOD! IT'S NOT MY BABY!"


You are not the father
 
2012-08-10 09:59:36 PM
Blowjobs. What can't they cure? And if she isn't into that, you can try giving her the suppository.


/Where was this farking study back when my wife was young and impregnable?
 
2012-08-10 10:00:56 PM

fusillade762: MrBallou: From the materials and methods:
Forty-one consecutive primiparous women with a history of proteinuric preeclampsia and a consecutive control group of 44 primiparous women were asked if they practised oral sex (oral ejaculation) with their partner before the index pregnancy. If the answer was positive, they were asked if they were swallowing the ejaculate or not. No information was asked on quantitative aspects of exposure to seminal plasma

You said "primiparous" twice.


I like primiparous.
 
2012-08-10 10:07:59 PM
A little hair of the dog that f*cked you, eh?
 
2012-08-10 10:15:05 PM
Nice try science guys...you still aren't getting any.
 
2012-08-10 10:17:55 PM
I imagine the act of performing oral sex and then swallowing something that is the consistency of a salty loogy would be enough to make someone who's already nauseous vomit.

I remember back in college in one my classes we were talking about morning sickness and it was attributed to the woman's body protecting her from toxins in the food and atmosphere in general. Of course I also remember from another biology class that basically the vagina is toxic to sperm and will reject/kill it. Most sperm will die before it reaches the cervix. So I suppose there could be some merit in this, but it does seem highly suspect if not complete bs.
 
2012-08-10 10:30:53 PM

jaylectricity: I'm pretty sure the sperm I left inside her over a month ago are already dead...well, except the one that's already formed a zygote. She's just now getting morning sickness.


This. If this were true wouldn't a woman have morning sickness every time she took a load, not just when she got pregnant?

/always liked to term "acute sperm poisoning" to describe pregnancy
 
2012-08-10 10:36:09 PM
I feel like I've seen this story before... other than that sounds super legit.

Colbert can add this as another use for Formula 401.
 
2012-08-10 10:46:35 PM

RogermcAllen: jaylectricity: I'm pretty sure the sperm I left inside her over a month ago are already dead...well, except the one that's already formed a zygote. She's just now getting morning sickness.

This. If this were true wouldn't a woman have morning sickness every time she took a load, not just when she got pregnant?


Yup.

This is a psychologist using junk immunology to...what, try to get a beej from his pregnant GF?
 
2012-08-10 10:48:40 PM
I live in Albany, and if this pans out, i plan to track this hero down and buy him a BEER.
 
2012-08-10 10:50:16 PM

PillsHere: I imagine the act of performing oral sex and then swallowing something that is the consistency of a salty loogy would be enough to make someone who's already nauseous vomit.

I remember back in college in one my classes we were talking about morning sickness and it was attributed to the woman's body protecting her from toxins in the food and atmosphere in general. Of course I also remember from another biology class that basically the vagina is toxic to sperm and will reject/kill it. Most sperm will die before it reaches the cervix. So I suppose there could be some merit in this, but it does seem highly suspect if not complete bs.


Funny, I was taught that the vagina was a sperm-friendly environment. For it to be otherwise would seem counterproductive.
 
2012-08-10 10:51:53 PM

Quasar: Hell, I'm using this for everything.

"Hiccups? Hang on, open wide."


For hiccups? That'll end well... for the ER staff who'll tell jokes about the incident for the next ten years.
 
2012-08-10 10:53:20 PM

Mentalpatient87: A little hair of the dog that f*cked you, eh?


Thread over.
 
2012-08-10 10:54:59 PM

jaylectricity: I'm pretty sure the sperm I left inside her over a month ago are already dead...well, except the one that's already formed a zygote. She's just now getting morning sickness.


You're not helping.
 
2012-08-10 11:05:30 PM
Destroys the gag reflex, problem solved.
 
2012-08-10 11:06:42 PM
Wasn't a very respected researcher pressured into resigning because he mentioned a paper like this?

Some feminists took offense and BLAMMO, all his knowledge and experience is gone.
 
2012-08-10 11:13:48 PM

God-is-a-Taco: Wasn't a very respected researcher pressured into resigning because he mentioned a paper like this?

Some feminists took offense and BLAMMO, all his knowledge and experience is gone.


He might have continued his research in his basement "lab".
 
2012-08-10 11:15:36 PM

God-is-a-Taco: Wasn't a very respected researcher pressured into resigning because he mentioned a paper like this?

Some feminists took offense and BLAMMO, all his knowledge and experience is gone.


Never underestimate the power of the bukkake lobby.
 
2012-08-10 11:25:12 PM
The length's that some psychologists will go just to get a bj.
 
2012-08-10 11:31:20 PM

common sense is an oxymoron: PillsHere: I imagine the act of performing oral sex and then swallowing something that is the consistency of a salty loogy would be enough to make someone who's already nauseous vomit.

I remember back in college in one my classes we were talking about morning sickness and it was attributed to the woman's body protecting her from toxins in the food and atmosphere in general. Of course I also remember from another biology class that basically the vagina is toxic to sperm and will reject/kill it. Most sperm will die before it reaches the cervix. So I suppose there could be some merit in this, but it does seem highly suspect if not complete bs.

Funny, I was taught that the vagina was a sperm-friendly environment. For it to be otherwise would seem counterproductive.


Vaginas are purpose built to be unfriendly, otherwise all sorts of nasty things would start growing. The only reason sperm survive is that they are injected with a survival kit, food, pH balance, and a transportation medium.
 
2012-08-10 11:32:50 PM

RogermcAllen: common sense is an oxymoron: PillsHere: I imagine the act of performing oral sex and then swallowing something that is the consistency of a salty loogy would be enough to make someone who's already nauseous vomit.

I remember back in college in one my classes we were talking about morning sickness and it was attributed to the woman's body protecting her from toxins in the food and atmosphere in general. Of course I also remember from another biology class that basically the vagina is toxic to sperm and will reject/kill it. Most sperm will die before it reaches the cervix. So I suppose there could be some merit in this, but it does seem highly suspect if not complete bs.

Funny, I was taught that the vagina was a sperm-friendly environment. For it to be otherwise would seem counterproductive.

Vaginas are purpose built to be unfriendly, otherwise all sorts of nasty things would start growing. The only reason sperm survive is that they are injected with a survival kit, food, pH balance, and a transportation medium.


I forgot to mention the part where the vagina is the gate, not the destination. I think once you get past the cervix things get a bit more sperm friendly.
 
2012-08-10 11:41:18 PM
Sounds like some sort of black sex magic! Burn the witch!
 
2012-08-11 12:21:04 AM

jaylectricity: I'm pretty sure the sperm I left inside her over a month ago are already dead...well, except the one that's already formed a zygote. She's just now getting morning sickness.


I'm afraid we have a turd in the punchbowl...repeat... turd in the punchbowl... over.
 
2012-08-11 12:21:51 AM

Coco LaFemme: You know, if you're already having a hard time keeping things down, sticking something down your throat probably isn't going to help you. But hey, maybe that dude is into bjs AND vomit....so it's a win-win for him!


If you're making her vomit you're doing it wrong!
 
2012-08-11 01:02:08 AM
spooge is amazing in so many ways. did you know that spooge also elevates a woman's mood and acts as an anti depressant? ITS TRUE. the gf uses all of mine so i have none left to spare. sorry ladies.
 
2012-08-11 01:57:35 AM

fark'emfeed'emfish: jaylectricity: I'm pretty sure the sperm I left inside her over a month ago are already dead...well, except the one that's already formed a zygote. She's just now getting morning sickness.

I'm afraid we have a turd in the punchbowl...repeat... turd in the punchbowl... over.


My girlfriend was sitting next to me when I typed that comment. I shifted my eyes, trying to gauge her reaction.
 
2012-08-11 03:27:40 AM

Ed Grubermann: Coco LaFemme: You know, if you're already having a hard time keeping things down, sticking something down your throat probably isn't going to help you. But hey, maybe that dude is into bjs AND vomit....so it's a win-win for him!

If you're making her vomit you're doing it wrong!


Or right. If you're into that.
 
2012-08-11 03:41:08 AM
Heh... yeahhhhhhh GFL getting someone who wants to puke at the time to get interested in a suck job. Imagine being dying dog ill and someone tells you it'll all be good if you just shove a polish sausage halfway down your throat and bob.

I think they must have been studying a way to increase the velocity of morning sickness vomit - cause that's pretty much what I'd imagine they'd achieve even conveying the IDEA to someone with morning sickness going full blast.
 
2012-08-11 04:06:18 AM

RogermcAllen: RogermcAllen: common sense is an oxymoron: PillsHere: I imagine the act of performing oral sex and then swallowing something that is the consistency of a salty loogy would be enough to make someone who's already nauseous vomit.

I remember back in college in one my classes we were talking about morning sickness and it was attributed to the woman's body protecting her from toxins in the food and atmosphere in general. Of course I also remember from another biology class that basically the vagina is toxic to sperm and will reject/kill it. Most sperm will die before it reaches the cervix. So I suppose there could be some merit in this, but it does seem highly suspect if not complete bs.

Funny, I was taught that the vagina was a sperm-friendly environment. For it to be otherwise would seem counterproductive.

Vaginas are purpose built to be unfriendly, otherwise all sorts of nasty things would start growing. The only reason sperm survive is that they are injected with a survival kit, food, pH balance, and a transportation medium.

I forgot to mention the part where the vagina is the gate, not the destination. I think once you get past the cervix things get a bit more sperm friendly.


Also rape. Think they won't evolve defense against it? Just look at ducks. The only defense men have is sweet, sweet lovin.
 
2012-08-11 06:23:08 AM

jaylectricity: I'm pretty sure the sperm I left inside her over a month ago are already dead...well, except the one that's already formed a zygote. She's just now getting morning sickness.


Indeed. Furthermore, why did she not get sick from sperm deposited by previous non-pregnancy-causing ejaculations? My wife doesn't get sick after sex, so this article is suspicious.

Hell - some couples require dozens of attempts before conceiving, so why are those woman not staggering around holding garbage pails for the entire time period?

BS meter has gone off.
 
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