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(Your News Now)   Bad luck: driving with your windows down and having bees fly into your truck. Worse luck: so many bees sting you, you lose control of your truck and crash into a house. Fark luck: the same house the bees use for their massive hive   (austin.ynn.com) divider line 33
    More: Scary, Pflugerville  
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12589 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Aug 2012 at 2:11 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-08-10 02:15:14 PM
4 votes:
I don't think that's Fark luck, that's Wile E. Coyote luck

JC
2012-08-10 03:31:23 PM
3 votes:

Dirtybird971: I stabbed a stick in a yellow jacket nest as a kid. I got swarmed and started running. By the time I got home I had over 200 stings and the next day at the Drs I had black spots of poison settling in my feet.


I am not fond of yellow jackets.
I was out mowing my yard, and I had gotten to the section in front of my picket fence where I have a 3 foot easement. I had run through 20 minutes earlier with the weed wacker and ecountered nothing eventful. As I was following up with the mower I felt a sharp burning pain suddenly on my ankle. I immediately rushed foward to escape from whatever was causing me pain. Looking back, I could see a vaguely demonic looking cloud of sinister writhing shapes. They were such tiny little things to cause such an abundance of pain. Clearly they were abominations of nature. No creature of that size should be allowed to bestow such agony. Now maybe, had I been wearing more protection that sandels and shorts, I could have avoided such torment. But this wasn't the time for such philosophical ponderings. It was time for action. People have said that 'violence is never the answer' And I agree. Violence is the question. And the answer is "yes".

I traveled to my local apothecary and aquired a can of Raid brand wasp-cleanser. Knowing I could not mount a successful attack whilst the vile creatures patrolled the skies, I temporarily retreated into the relative safety of my home where I watched Adventure Time, until the dusk. While the creatures celebrated their seeming victory, I crept up on their cursed hive with the skill and cunning of a cat-ninja. Two stood guard at their entrance. Watching. Waiting. However their bestial intellect could not comprehend the doom I held in my right hand. I lept into a flurry of action, unleashing a holy jihad of righteous chemical warfare upon the hellspawn. I sprayed death into their midst as if I was the living embodiment of Pestilence.

The beasts attempted escape, but had barely taken to wing before they discovered their bodies were failing them. They labored to fly only to find that their wings would no longer obey their commands. They soon fell to the ground, twitching, primitive brains unable to understand why they could no longer perform their duties, knowing only pain and suffering. I stood watch as ,one by one, they fell from the sky to suffer in agony before being summoned back to the hell from whence they came. I took no pleasure in the carnage, my only satisfaction being that I had carried out my blessed mission successfully and without fear. Once I was satisfied that the exterminatus was assured, I retired back to my abode.

The next day I reconned the area to assess the total damage. Looking into the tunnel of the damned creatures, I could see remaining carcasses (presumably women and children) of those who had, upon seeing their was no safety to be found in their lair, tried to escape. Their last moment had been spent crawlling to the entrance, only to die just within sight of a beautiful field of clover. I left the bodies in place, as a warning to any other species who thought to inflict pain upon a being who could smite them without pity or remorse.
2012-08-10 03:28:08 PM
2 votes:
I'm sorry but this whole thing is hilarious. The headline, the article, the thread, the advice to stay away from newly crowned queen bee's hive.
2012-08-10 02:35:53 PM
2 votes:
We systematically eradicate every bee hive that we encounter, and then wonder why bees are disappearing worldwide...?!
2012-08-10 02:33:42 PM
2 votes:
This is about as interesting as Pflugerville gets ....
2012-08-10 02:26:17 PM
2 votes:
www.monstershack.net
2012-08-10 04:25:20 PM
1 votes:
If only he had been driving one of these...
t2.gstatic.com
2012-08-10 03:40:25 PM
1 votes:

Dirtybird971
.

nice. I would have just parked the mower over the hole while I went inside for a car of beer. But this works too.


Gee, even if it's a Smart car that's a lot of beer.
2012-08-10 03:33:10 PM
1 votes:
Are you farking kidding me? Those were the stupidest tips I've ever been offered.

• Get indoors, whether it's in a house or a vehicle. The bees will fly toward the windows.

So if I'm being swarmed outside by bees, go inside? Thanks, Ric!

• If you can't get inside, run as fast and far away as possible.

Hm. So if i'm being attacked by a swarm of bees, I should run? That had not occurred to me. I thought you were supposed to not make eye contact and back away slowly.

• And never trust a hive you think you know. A new queen can turn the colony aggressive overnight.


Who knows bees?
2012-08-10 03:22:18 PM
1 votes:
"Tight_as_an_Owl

Smartest
Funniest
2012-08-10 02:44:51 PM
FTA: "When firefighters got here, he was on the ground, basically had bees all covered onto him."

That's some fine English they speak in Pflugerville."


You don't know the half of it. First new slang word I heard after moving here(Austin) in '84...." F'itin'ta". Yes Fit-n-tah..What does it mean? Well....it's a contraction(?) of "fixing to", you know that great old expression? "Fixing to" is already tortured English, but to be so lazy as to not even be able to pronounce that? Pretty soon people will just say, "bwannnnnghhhhhhh", and nod politely.
2012-08-10 02:54:26 PM
1 votes:
Wicker Man ✓
Seinfeld ✓
Tommy Boy ✓
The Swarm ✓


Nice work everyone
2012-08-10 02:52:49 PM
1 votes:
FTFA: Here are some tips from Keith Huddle:

• Get indoors, whether it's in a house or a vehicle.


Unless the hive is inside a wall of the house, like this one was.
2012-08-10 02:50:43 PM
1 votes:
I wouldn't want bee that guy.
2012-08-10 02:41:54 PM
1 votes:

abhorrent1: Did anyone else see the commercial after the video? The guy had a tarantella crawling on his face. WTF?


That's a lot of dancing on one face.
2012-08-10 02:41:52 PM
1 votes:

probesport

sdtangler: We systematically eradicate every bee hive that we encounter, and then wonder why bees are disappearing worldwide...?!

I don't think anybody was wondering that.


They actually are desperately trying to figure it out. no bees= no crops= bye bye people
2012-08-10 02:39:22 PM
1 votes:

hobnail
probesport: BeezyBates: Dirtybird971: I stabbed a stick in a yellow jacket nest as a kid. I got swarmed and started running. By the time I got home I had over 200 stings and the next day at the Drs I had black spots of poison settling in my feet.

And what lesson did we learn that day?

Don't bring a stick to a bee fight.

Or, bring the fat kid from across the street to help.

/you don't have to outrun the hornets


Actually, I learned that I am not allergic to bees (my mom and bro would have died after 2), when they swarm it does look just like the cartoons, meat tenderizer on bee stings alleviates the itching and swelling, and my Mom doesn't love me (she waited till the next day to take me to the drs) I can still hear her say "well if you were allergic, you'd be dead by now"

But you all have it right too.
2012-08-10 02:34:54 PM
1 votes:

PainInTheASP: Sybarite: bees from a large hive inside an old filing cabinet attacked four people, sending one to the hospital in critical condition

I wonder what they were filed under.

Liabeesities.


fify
2012-08-10 02:33:00 PM
1 votes:

SandMann: Sybarite: bees from a large hive inside an old filing cabinet attacked four people, sending one to the hospital in critical condition

I wonder what they were filed under.

B


dammit!
2012-08-10 02:31:56 PM
1 votes:
The beekeeper told YNN he's been getting about six calls per day to remove hives, making the coincidence of two Pflugerville attacks in two days not so unbelievable.


...and so it begins...... the Bee War.
2012-08-10 02:31:06 PM
1 votes:

BeezyBates: Dirtybird971: I stabbed a stick in a yellow jacket nest as a kid. I got swarmed and started running. By the time I got home I had over 200 stings and the next day at the Drs I had black spots of poison settling in my feet.

And what lesson did we learn that day?


Hospital food isn't very tasty.
2012-08-10 02:30:48 PM
1 votes:

BeezyBates: I'm fairly certain it would only take 1 bee for me to freak out and cause a 20 car pile-up. A swarm would cause some sort of wreck that would equate to a nuclear explosion. I don't know how exactly, but it would happen.


You uh, probably shouldn't be driving.
2012-08-10 02:30:29 PM
1 votes:

BeezyBates: Dirtybird971: I stabbed a stick in a yellow jacket nest as a kid. I got swarmed and started running. By the time I got home I had over 200 stings and the next day at the Drs I had black spots of poison settling in my feet.

And what lesson did we learn that day?


Don't bring a stick to a bee fight.
2012-08-10 02:29:06 PM
1 votes:

Dirtybird971: I stabbed a stick in a yellow jacket nest as a kid. I got swarmed and started running. By the time I got home I had over 200 stings and the next day at the Drs I had black spots of poison settling in my feet.


And what lesson did we learn that day?
2012-08-10 02:25:14 PM
1 votes:
encrypted-tbn3.google.com
2012-08-10 02:24:08 PM
1 votes:
Somebody needs to reference that Nick Cage pic in here, that would be awesomesauce.
2012-08-10 02:23:45 PM
1 votes:
The driver just had to say "well, at least it can't get any worse"
2012-08-10 02:21:16 PM
1 votes:
I'm fairly certain it would only take 1 bee for me to freak out and cause a 20 car pile-up. A swarm would cause some sort of wreck that would equate to a nuclear explosion. I don't know how exactly, but it would happen.
2012-08-10 02:19:00 PM
1 votes:
I think that would catagorically fall into worst day ever.
2012-08-10 02:15:59 PM
1 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: If you leave them alone, they'll leave you alone.

The most important thing to remember is not to panic and start swatting at them. Just open the window and shoo them out.


So true. Every kid I see in public has a spaz attack and starts flailing around like an idiot. I say, "Dude...chill."
2012-08-10 02:13:56 PM
1 votes:
If you leave them alone, they'll leave you alone.

The most important thing to remember is not to panic and start swatting at them. Just open the window and shoo them out.
2012-08-10 01:38:06 PM
1 votes:

Sybarite: bees from a large hive inside an old filing cabinet attacked four people, sending one to the hospital in critical condition

I wonder what they were filed under.


Liabilities.
2012-08-10 01:31:54 PM
1 votes:
bees from a large hive inside an old filing cabinet attacked four people, sending one to the hospital in critical condition

I wonder what they were filed under.
2012-08-10 12:53:42 PM
1 votes:
 
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