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(Headline News TV)   Critics agree: "Honey Boo Boo" is possibly the worst show ever created, a new low in reality television that may mark the beginning of the apocalypse. BUT WE LOVE IT ANYWAY   (hlntv.com) divider line 126
    More: Stupid, Showbiz Tonight, Toddlers and Tiaras, reality shows  
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5478 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 10 Aug 2012 at 10:22 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-10 08:30:01 AM
Dear TLC:

You are a cancer and should be euthanized like the board of Mooby's in Dogma. Please DIAF.

PS, did you ever actually live up to your original premise? You know, The Learning Channel? That's some serious network decay right there.
 
2012-08-10 08:33:43 AM

xenophon10k: Dear TLC:

You are a cancer and should be euthanized like the board of Mooby's in Dogma. Please DIAF.

PS, did you ever actually live up to your original premise? You know, The Learning Channel? That's some serious network decay right there.


Well now that's not 100% true, we are Learning how farked up our population is today. They are teaching us that the universe would be better of if Earth were purged of people and the cockroaches took over.
 
2012-08-10 08:37:29 AM
The girlfriend had that show on for a little while.

That entire family has got to be diabetic.
 
2012-08-10 08:56:34 AM
When they put a couple of freaks from New York and New Jersey on TV, they call it Jersey Shore and I have to live with that shiat whenever I mention where I'm from. They put the biggest freak show family this side of the Jacksons on TV and keep Georgia out of the name and the whole state gets off scot-free.
 
2012-08-10 08:58:25 AM

JerseyTim: When they put a couple of freaks from New York and New Jersey on TV, they call it Jersey Shore and I have to live with that shiat whenever I mention where I'm from. They put the biggest freak show family this side of the Jacksons on TV and keep Georgia out of the name and the whole state gets off scot-free.


That's because it's unnecessary: every state in the South is the butt of jokes. There's a reason we have a Florida tag...
 
2012-08-10 09:09:45 AM

Aarontology: The girlfriend had that show on for a little while.


Yeah....likely story.
 
2012-08-10 09:14:23 AM

Diogenes: Aarontology: The girlfriend had that show on for a little while.

Yeah....likely story.


No, for real.

To end it I said "Do you want to go to use that coupon and get yourself some new clothes?"

Desperate times, man. Desperate times.
 
2012-08-10 09:19:38 AM
I saw the previews for the show and it was a WTF moment. As in WTF is a Honey Boo Boo? They made a show out of this? Seriously? There's nothing out there more compelling than a bunch of rednecks? Idiocracy at it's finest.
 
2012-08-10 09:26:48 AM

slayer199: I saw the previews for the show and it was a WTF moment. As in WTF is a Honey Boo Boo? They made a show out of this? Seriously? There's nothing out there more compelling than a bunch of rednecks? Idiocracy at it's finest.


It's got a nasty element of "point and laugh at these fat, poor hicks, Middle America. You feel bad about feeding your kids Kraft Dinner? At least you're not giving your six-year-old Redbull and Gatorade."

I mean, I'll point and laugh, because I'm a horrible human being, but I don't appreciate the TLC self-congratulatory smugness-meets-condemnation. It's what the Daily Mail does best too. "Look at these terrible people, who we've paid and manipulated to act terrible in front of you! Aren't they awful? Keep looking!"
 
2012-08-10 09:38:12 AM

xenophon10k: PS, did you ever actually live up to your original premise? You know, The Learning Channel? That's some serious network decay right there.


Considering that this is the network that used to air Connections, yeah they did once fulfill that mandate. But you're right, they pretty much fell to the bottom without touching the sides on the way down.
 
2012-08-10 10:26:42 AM
This is Georgia. If these people weren't out with their daughter competing, they'd be burning chocolate people.

/well, maybe not, but they'd be up to no good. worryin' the neighbor's goats, applying baseball bats to mailboxes, etc...
 
2012-08-10 10:30:05 AM

unyon: xenophon10k: PS, did you ever actually live up to your original premise? You know, The Learning Channel? That's some serious network decay right there.

Considering that this is the network that used to air Connections, .


Came for this
 
2012-08-10 10:30:24 AM
The only thing I've learned watching TLC is not to watch TLC. I made a similar discovery about The Discovery Channel.
 
2012-08-10 10:31:18 AM

xenophon10k: PS, did you ever actually live up to your original premise? You know, The Learning Channel? That's some serious network decay right there.


img1.fark.net

TLC no longer shows educational programming
History no longer shows history
A&E no longer shows arts or entertainment.
Discovery is pretty short on the science shows
AMC no longer shows unedited commercial-free movies that are "American classics"
Lifetime used to have Medical Sunday where they showed surgeries and doctor CME shows
BBCA used to show actual BBC shows instead of Star Trek
The Independent Film Channel used to show unedited commercial free movies
Bravo used to show artsy high-culture shows, with commercials only between shows, not during them
Syfy ...

The only cable network sticking with its original charge is Turner Classic Movies, and they actually got BETTER over time as they stopped colorizing and expanded their catalog.
 
2012-08-10 10:31:19 AM
I came across this show in my Tivo guide, and thought, hey, I've probably watched worse, right? Not even close. The episode had them at an auction, where they were bidding on donuts and potato chips. An auction...for junk food. The auctioneer looked like he wanted to end his life, right there on the microphone.
 
2012-08-10 10:32:46 AM
And Headline News should never be viewed outside the confines of an airport lounge.
 
2012-08-10 10:34:20 AM

Tax Boy: xenophon10k: PS, did you ever actually live up to your original premise? You know, The Learning Channel? That's some serious network decay right there.

[img1.fark.net image 54x11]

TLC no longer shows educational programming
History no longer shows history
A&E no longer shows arts or entertainment.
Discovery is pretty short on the science shows
AMC no longer shows unedited commercial-free movies that are "American classics"
Lifetime used to have Medical Sunday where they showed surgeries and doctor CME shows
BBCA used to show actual BBC shows instead of Star Trek
The Independent Film Channel used to show unedited commercial free movies
Bravo used to show artsy high-culture shows, with commercials only between shows, not during them
Syfy ...

The only cable network sticking with its original charge is Turner Classic Movies, and they actually got BETTER over time as they stopped colorizing and expanded their catalog.


I find your ideas interesting and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
 
2012-08-10 10:34:29 AM

God Is My Co-Pirate: It's got a nasty element of "point and laugh at these fat, poor hicks, Middle America. You feel bad about feeding your kids Kraft Dinner? At least you're not giving your six-year-old Redbull and Gatorade."


Are you shiatting me?
 
2012-08-10 10:34:35 AM

Tax Boy: xenophon10k: PS, did you ever actually live up to your original premise? You know, The Learning Channel? That's some serious network decay right there.

[img1.fark.net image 54x11]

TLC no longer shows educational programming
History no longer shows history
A&E no longer shows arts or entertainment.
Discovery is pretty short on the science shows
AMC no longer shows unedited commercial-free movies that are "American classics"
Lifetime used to have Medical Sunday where they showed surgeries and doctor CME shows
BBCA used to show actual BBC shows instead of Star Trek
The Independent Film Channel used to show unedited commercial free movies
Bravo used to show artsy high-culture shows, with commercials only between shows, not during them
Syfy ...

The only cable network sticking with its original charge is Turner Classic Movies, and they actually got BETTER over time as they stopped colorizing and expanded their catalog.


Yeah but Cox used to offer TCM as part of their generic package. Now, even after the generic package rates have increased amazingly, I would have to upgrade to digital cable, then upgrade to a tier that contains TCM. Just to get what I used to get a lot cheaper. In case you're interested, I'm no longer a Cox cable customer. Can't imagine why.
 
2012-08-10 10:35:42 AM

Two Hearted: The auctioneer looked like he wanted to end his life, right there on the microphone.


I would watch that.
 
2012-08-10 10:35:54 AM

Boudica's War Tampon: In case you're interested, I'm no longer a Cox cable customer. Can't imagine why.


Cox is an apt name.
 
2012-08-10 10:36:17 AM
Haters gonna hate
 
2012-08-10 10:37:36 AM

liam76: God Is My Co-Pirate: It's got a nasty element of "point and laugh at these fat, poor hicks, Middle America. You feel bad about feeding your kids Kraft Dinner? At least you're not giving your six-year-old Redbull and Gatorade."

Are you shiatting me?


Actually, it's Red Bull and Mountain Dew. The child calls it "go-go juice," and it will be served with Jagermeister and/or vodka to sorority girls in the future.
 
2012-08-10 10:38:10 AM

jchic: xenophon10k: Dear TLC:

You are a cancer and should be euthanized like the board of Mooby's in Dogma. Please DIAF.

PS, did you ever actually live up to your original premise? You know, The Learning Channel? That's some serious network decay right there.

Well now that's not 100% true, we are Learning how farked up our population is today. They are teaching us that the universe would be better of if Earth were purged of people and the cockroaches took over.


Unfortunately, that show's being broadcast into space, where other civilizations will one day see it and, if they are a rational people, will hurl an asteroid at us at near light speed, melting the entire surface of the Earth on impact just to be sure we don't go out and infect the rest of the universe with our stupidity.
 
2012-08-10 10:38:21 AM
I live in GA so I'm getting a kick out of this

/not really GA I'm in Atlanta
 
2012-08-10 10:39:57 AM

Tax Boy: The only cable network sticking with its original charge is Turner Classic Movies, and they actually got BETTER over time as they stopped colorizing and expanded their catalog.


FX did the same, it's only gotten better every year.
 
2012-08-10 10:42:44 AM

sprawl15: Tax Boy: The only cable network sticking with its original charge is Turner Classic Movies, and they actually got BETTER over time as they stopped colorizing and expanded their catalog.

FX did the same, it's only gotten better every year.


AMC got off its original mission statement by showing crap like Catwoman, but it has redeemed itself somewhat with Breaking Bad and Mad Men. Unfortunately, they seem to be backsliding with Small Town Security.
 
2012-08-10 10:43:00 AM

xenophon10k: Dear TLC:

You are a cancer and should be euthanized like the board of Mooby's in Dogma. Please DIAF.

PS, did you ever actually live up to your original premise? You know, The Learning Channel? That's some serious network decay right there.


I've been assured that we no longer need to support public television because the free market has given us The Learning Channel.
 
2012-08-10 10:43:58 AM

JerseyTim: When they put a couple of freaks from New York and New Jersey on TV, they call it Jersey Shore and I have to live with that shiat whenever I mention where I'm from. They put the biggest freak show family this side of the Jacksons on TV and keep Georgia out of the name and the whole state gets off scot-free.


As a resident of NORTH Orange County, I feel you. The fake plastic people from that goddamn Housewives show are in SOUTH Orange County thank you very much.
 
2012-08-10 10:44:44 AM
The only cable network sticking with its original charge is Turner Classic Movies

Around the second week of December, they show the letterbox version of "A Christmas Story", on what looks like a new print, and they only show it once, which is pretty sweet.
 
2012-08-10 10:45:45 AM

slayer199: I saw the previews for the show and it was a WTF moment. As in WTF is a Honey Boo Boo? They made a show out of this? Seriously? There's nothing out there more compelling than a bunch of rednecks? Idiocracy at it's finest.


The sad thing is that they made the show because there is a demand for it. Think about this America, if you are capable of doing so.
 
2012-08-10 10:45:53 AM

God Is My Co-Pirate: It's got a nasty element of "point and laugh at these fat, poor hicks, Middle America. You feel bad about feeding your kids Kraft Dinner? At least you're not giving your six-year-old Redbull and Gatorade."


Middle America doesn't feed our kids Kraft Dinner. You're thinking of Middle Canada.
 
2012-08-10 10:45:58 AM
It's a carnival freak show for the new century. Different medium, but fundamentally nothing has changed about American culture
 
2012-08-10 10:46:00 AM

sprawl15: Tax Boy: The only cable network sticking with its original charge is Turner Classic Movies, and they actually got BETTER over time as they stopped colorizing and expanded their catalog.

FX did the same, it's only gotten better every year.


USA too. TNT has a couple good shows on it as well.

/though I miss "up all night" with gilbert godfried
 
2012-08-10 10:47:02 AM

sprawl15: Tax Boy: The only cable network sticking with its original charge is Turner Classic Movies, and they actually got BETTER over time as they stopped colorizing and expanded their catalog.

FX did the same, it's only gotten better every year.


HBO keeps getting better too.
 
2012-08-10 10:47:13 AM
I keep hearing that unbundling cable packages and offering a la carte pricing will result in a lot of cable channels dying. Every time it's argued, I fail to understand how that's a bad thing.
 
2012-08-10 10:48:02 AM
I have to admit though, I'm hooked on "Lizard Lick Towing" and "Full Throttle Saloon".

Honey Boo Boo is an abomination evil enough to summon demons from Hell.
 
2012-08-10 10:49:32 AM

MonkeyAngst: God Is My Co-Pirate: It's got a nasty element of "point and laugh at these fat, poor hicks, Middle America. You feel bad about feeding your kids Kraft Dinner? At least you're not giving your six-year-old Redbull and Gatorade."

Middle America doesn't feed our kids Kraft Dinner. You're thinking of Middle Canada.


Yeah, but those Canadians wouldn't have to if they had a million dollars.
 
2012-08-10 10:49:42 AM

Mad_Radhu: jchic: xenophon10k: Dear TLC:

You are a cancer and should be euthanized like the board of Mooby's in Dogma. Please DIAF.

PS, did you ever actually live up to your original premise? You know, The Learning Channel? That's some serious network decay right there.

Well now that's not 100% true, we are Learning how farked up our population is today. They are teaching us that the universe would be better of if Earth were purged of people and the cockroaches took over.

Unfortunately, that show's being broadcast into space, where other civilizations will one day see it and, if they are a rational people, will hurl an asteroid at us at near light speed, melting the entire surface of the Earth on impact just to be sure we don't go out and infect the rest of the universe with our stupidity.


upload.wikimedia.org

Nah, they'll realise that there is a better use for us. Think harvesting...........
 
2012-08-10 10:50:43 AM

MonkeyAngst: God Is My Co-Pirate: It's got a nasty element of "point and laugh at these fat, poor hicks, Middle America. You feel bad about feeding your kids Kraft Dinner? At least you're not giving your six-year-old Redbull and Gatorade."

Middle America doesn't feed our kids Kraft Dinner. You're thinking of Middle Canada.


I am. Huh. Can't believe I learned something in a TLC thread.
 
2012-08-10 10:51:04 AM

Tax Boy: Lifetime used to have Medical Sunday where they showed surgeries and doctor CME shows


Dude... this stuff was awesome. I'll never forget seeing a surgeon cut out the roof of a patient's mouth, split his lower jaw in half and pull it back like the predator, and operate on his brain.

No silky narration or music, just the sound of the respiration pumps and monitors in the background.

Supremely creepy for an 8 year-old.
 
2012-08-10 10:52:14 AM

Jake Havechek: I have to admit though, I'm hooked on "Lizard Lick Towing" and "Full Throttle Saloon".

Honey Boo Boo is an abomination evil enough to summon demons from Hell.


If we had a time machine and showed people from just 15 years ago what's on TV these days, they'd be lost because even the show titles make no sense now.
 
2012-08-10 10:56:59 AM
www.lifebyalbum.com
 
2012-08-10 10:57:41 AM
I submitted a headline yesterday about this "show".

It was a collection of quotes from the "show" and one of them was "It's called a biscuit because it looks like a biscuit and it opens up." She was talking about her vajayjay.

Go ahead, imagine that land whale naked asking if you want a bite if her if her biscuit.

/now if you'll excuse me I have to go vomit.
 
2012-08-10 10:58:15 AM
I confess I love honey boo boo that child is an adorable ham:

"My piggy is a little bit gay because I'm dressing it up like a girl"
"You can't make a pig gay!"
"YOU CAN'T TELL A PIG WHAT TO DO!"

The Mom and the rest of the family I can do without though, yay teen pregnancies!
 
2012-08-10 11:00:17 AM

TheraTx: I live in GA so I'm getting a kick out of this

/not really GA I'm in Atlanta


The problem with Atlanta, is Georgia.

If you head out towards Winder up 85 north, you eventually run into the point of no return. You will know it when you see a billboard amongst a sea of trees that just says "JESUS" on it. White background. Big bold black latters.

It says "RETURNS" or something about his second coming on the back. But the point is, should you drive for long enough straight out of Atlanta, know you are leaving Atlanta, and entering Georgia. Abandon hope all ye who exit.

/ATL Motherfarkers
//I COME FROM THE MEAN 'BURBS
///and by mean burbs i mean Cobb County...
 
2012-08-10 11:00:42 AM

jchic: xenophon10k: Dear TLC:

You are a cancer and should be euthanized like the board of Mooby's in Dogma. Please DIAF.

PS, did you ever actually live up to your original premise? You know, The Learning Channel? That's some serious network decay right there.

Well now that's not 100% true, we are Learning how farked up our population is today. They are teaching us that the universe would be better of if Earth were purged of people and the cockroaches took over.


Metaphorically speaking, the cockroaches HAVE taken over.
 
2012-08-10 11:00:59 AM

xenophon10k: Dear TLC:

You are a cancer and should be euthanized like the board of Mooby's in Dogma. Please DIAF.

PS, did you ever actually live up to your original premise? You know, The Learning Channel? That's some serious network decay right there.


I'll find out. I'll call a buddy of mine; he's an expert in TLC's original premise..
 
2012-08-10 11:01:37 AM

unyon: xenophon10k: PS, did you ever actually live up to your original premise? You know, The Learning Channel? That's some serious network decay right there.

Considering that this is the network that used to air Connections, yeah they did once fulfill that mandate. But you're right, they pretty much fell to the bottom without touching the sides on the way down.


They need to do a modernized version of that show, thank god they have the DVDs so I can show them to my children.

Hmmmm Youtube idea
 
2012-08-10 11:01:40 AM

Whatthefark: I submitted a headline yesterday about this "show".

It was a collection of quotes from the "show" and one of them was "It's called a biscuit because it looks like a biscuit and it opens up." She was talking about her vajayjay.

Go ahead, imagine that land whale naked asking if you want a bite if her if her biscuit.

/now if you'll excuse me I have to go vomit.


d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net

Ouch, my brain hurts
 
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