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(Las Vegas Sun)   Ostrich named godzilla escapes, wreaks havoc on town   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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1625 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Nov 2001 at 5:35 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

26 Comments     (+0 »)
2001-11-16 05:41:32 PM  
I have nothing to say
2001-11-16 05:47:38 PM  
That's no ostrich, that's thanksgiving dinner.
2001-11-16 05:48:17 PM  
Bullets can't stop it
Rockets can't stop it
We may have to use
Nuclear force
2001-11-16 05:51:36 PM  
Godzilla meets Mr. Bigglesworth!
2001-11-16 06:01:19 PM  
2001-11-16 06:06:53 PM  
Ostrich fajitas are gooooood.
Who am I kidding.
No they're not.
2001-11-16 06:08:21 PM  
But I would rather eat crappy meat than be a veggietarian.

2001-11-16 06:44:01 PM  
I would rather eat crappy meat than eat a vegetarian.

No wait, same thing.
2001-11-16 06:44:38 PM  
I worked with ostriches when I worked at the zoo. Believe me. They are the retards of the animal kingdom. They will actually crap, then turn right around and swallow it in one gulp. Then, while you watch it slowly work it's way down their long throats/necks, the other ostriches will start pecking at it while it's inside the other's neck.

They used to get pissed off when we went out in the yards with them. They would spread their wings real wide and sort of charge you. We would always have a rake or shovel in our hands so we would simply wave it above our heads in reply. The dumb birds would freak out since suddenly we were taller than they were and they would fall to the ground in fear. Morons.

I worked with a guy who was relatively small (5'7"). Whenever they would hit the ground out of fear, he would jump on their backs and ride them like a bronco. It was hilarious until one ran into a wall and killed itself. Oops. After the state mandated autopsy, we took it to the commisary and cooked it. Honest. Tastes like beef.
2001-11-16 07:14:11 PM  
The zoo? hell, there are ostriches on the edge of my town. I'm not kidding, they are fenced off, but they are visible from several roads in the area. They will maul you. And they don't like bottle-rockets very much.
2001-11-16 07:32:43 PM  
If ostriches are terrorizing people, the terrorists have already won
2001-11-16 08:11:49 PM  
This is the start of the animal outrising, first the african serval, then a moose on the loose, attacking children, then a bear in a hot tub, now an Ostrich.
2001-11-16 08:50:28 PM  
That was a hilarious story Peeler. Where's your Photoshop take on that?

There's an ostrich farm near my house. Never ate one though, but I hear those eggs are huge.
2001-11-16 08:50:57 PM  
Not to mention the 'prime number crapping bear'!!
2001-11-16 09:14:24 PM  
We had 2 hens that ran free in the yard. They would drop 4 or 5 unfertilized eggs a day. The public would beg us for them but we couldn't give them away because they were 'wild' animals. So all the keepers took them home instead.

I took one and through it in my closet one year around June. Later, around November, I found it laying there and decided to hard-boil it. I figured a chicken egg would boil in 3 minutes, so I ran it out for an ostrich egg and figured 30 minutes would do.

I through it in this huge cast iron pot full of boiling water and put my headphones on in the living room. About 20 minutes later, I felt my apartment shake. I thought there had been a traffic accident outside. As my head spun around, I saw the cast iron lid of the pot fly across the hallway like a frisbee.

I ran into the kitchen and almost puked. This egg had literally exploded and shot green (rotten) egg and shards of 1/8 inch egg shell into and all over my kitchen. It looked and smelled like some giant alien had crapped all over the place. The stench was hideous. I sorta kinda forgot the damned thing had gotten rotten on me.

Took me two days to clean that place up. If I had been standing there, it probably would have killed me. The shell went off like a hand grenade.

I literally haven't eaten eggs since.
2001-11-16 09:14:51 PM  
"Oh no, they say he's got to go go go Godzilla
Oh no, there goes Tokyo go go Godzilla"

Had to be done...
2001-11-16 09:15:10 PM  
threw. not through. jeez.
2001-11-16 09:22:40 PM  
That sounds scary, Peeler. But how do you know what alien crap smells like? Are you with...them?
2001-11-16 09:39:05 PM  
2001-11-16 09:44:11 PM  
Why name the bird Godzilla and not Rhodan?
2001-11-16 09:47:59 PM  
Maybe one of the other ones is named Rhodan...

I don't know otherwise...
2001-11-16 09:48:37 PM  
On a side note... why are all the really weird stories about americans in the british press, and vice versa? How does the Las Vegas Rag get a London story?
2001-11-16 09:49:20 PM  
I wonder if they fight amongst themselves, and if so, who would win...

I'd bet on Godzilla, personally... definitely proved the rebellious streak...
2001-11-16 09:54:11 PM  

We like laughing about silly foreign peoples...

People like to make fun of communities under which they themselves cannot be grouped (groped?)...

except for those who are aware of their own quirks and can securely poke fun at themselves...

I could safely make fun of Texans, geeks, and artsy-types, for example...

2001-11-17 01:00:47 AM  
Went to the fair in Rapid City a few years ago. There was guy who had six ostriches in a pen. Said he ranched them up in the Hills. "How do they like snow?" I said. He showed me a photo of them playing in three feet of snow. "Uh-huh", I said, "So do the coyotes bother them?" He showed me a photo of two ostriches standing over a dozen or so hunks of bloody furry meat that was a coyote before it attacked them. "Oh-keh," I said. Brothers and sisters, that's when I gave up my plan of becoming a successful ostrich rancher.

Still can't beat that story about hard boiling a rotten ostrich egg.
2001-11-18 06:45:17 PM  
You're next, Tokyo!!
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