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(Journal Times)   It's difficult to inconspicuously sell marijuana while riding a unicycle   (journaltimes.com) divider line 18
    More: PSA, Madison Police, Fitchburg, selling marijuana  
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2019 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Aug 2012 at 10:28 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



18 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-08-10 10:30:41 AM  
He might have thought that no one would suspect the idiot on a unicycle would be a dealer. User, of course. But not a dealer.
 
2012-08-10 10:37:39 AM  
I read unicycle as unicorn.

mimg.ugo.com
 
2012-08-10 10:39:05 AM  
You know who else rode a unicycle?
 
2012-08-10 10:41:00 AM  
How about difficulty of selling marjoram while rocking a unibrow?

/nothing
 
2012-08-10 10:44:18 AM  
What he should have done is distracted the police by saying, "But, Officer, marijuana is what allows me to ride this unicycle!", and sped away, possibly causing the world's first-ever unicycle police chase. Of course, an adept policeman might just whip out his own unicycle from the trunk of his cruiser and take off after him, alley-to-alley, causing the world's first-ever unicycle-on-unicycle police drug chase. You never see that on cop shows.
 
2012-08-10 10:48:05 AM  
Difficult, yes... but not impossible.

i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-08-10 10:55:18 AM  
It's fun to read that one in a Mitch Hedberg style.
 
2012-08-10 10:57:12 AM  
Please tell me its Portland (OR). It's gotta be Portland....

Madison? Huh. Eh, close enough.
 
2012-08-10 11:11:54 AM  
You Fark potheads fail to see just how dangerous cannabis use is. Dont you see how dangerous and illegal it is? I mean, it's little green flower clusters pulled off a plant, and then smoked! And it relaxes you! Don't you see how illegal and terrible that is?

Also, it's a gateway drug! Dont you idiots see, once a kid smokes pot, heroin and methamphetamine are now awesome new choices that they just can't wait to try? It's really that simple! I mean, even though booze and prescription opiates are much more prevalent, pot can be just as deadly. Don't you realize a driver on pot reacts .03 seconds slower, whether he has a tolerance or not? Id rather be driving with a bunch of pleasant drunks.

Im glad we spend more money on this unpopular drug war than we do on creating jobs every year. Even though it's been failing miserably since inception, the $8 billion spent annually fighting marijuana alone is money well wasted. Can you imagine if these potheads were just allowed to sit around and relax without consequence? And perpetrate all their vile pothead crimes?

Now if youll excuse me, like a real American, Im going to go legally drink alcohol in a bar with dozens of other people chasing buzzes. Then like most of them, Im going to pilot my vehicle home on crowded roadways, and this is all perfectly acceptable. America is great.
 
2012-08-10 11:22:38 AM  
Was Phish or Lalapalooza playing downtown?
 
2012-08-10 11:31:39 AM  
Just saw a dude riding a unicycle up Milwaukee Ave north of Chicago on my way to work. How random.
 
2012-08-10 11:47:05 AM  

D_Evans45: You Fark potheads fail to see just how dangerous cannabis use is. Dont you see how dangerous and illegal it is? I mean, it's little green flower clusters pulled off a plant, and then smoked! And it relaxes you! Don't you see how illegal and terrible that is?

Also, it's a gateway drug! Dont you idiots see, once a kid smokes pot, heroin and methamphetamine are now awesome new choices that they just can't wait to try? It's really that simple! I mean, even though booze and prescription opiates are much more prevalent, pot can be just as deadly. Don't you realize a driver on pot reacts .03 seconds slower, whether he has a tolerance or not? Id rather be driving with a bunch of pleasant drunks.

Im glad we spend more money on this unpopular drug war than we do on creating jobs every year. Even though it's been failing miserably since inception, the $8 billion spent annually fighting marijuana alone is money well wasted. Can you imagine if these potheads were just allowed to sit around and relax without consequence? And perpetrate all their vile pothead crimes?

Now if youll excuse me, like a real American, Im going to go legally drink alcohol in a bar with dozens of other people chasing buzzes. Then like most of them, Im going to pilot my vehicle home on crowded roadways, and this is all perfectly acceptable. America is great.


Not quite Pocket Ninja style......but....... THIS!!
 
2012-08-10 12:05:49 PM  

Sir Anal of Leakage: What he should have done is distracted the police by saying, "But, Officer, marijuana is what allows me to ride this unicycle!", and sped away, possibly causing the world's first-ever unicycle police chase. Of course, an adept policeman might just whip out his own unicycle from the trunk of his cruiser and take off after him, alley-to-alley, causing the world's first-ever unicycle-on-unicycle police drug chase. You never see that on cop shows.


How about for a bit of realism you have the cop chasing unicycle guy in his regular bike until he hits a pothole and is forced to continue pursuit catwalking?
 
2012-08-10 12:18:24 PM  

Wasilla Hillbilly: Sir Anal of Leakage: What he should have done is distracted the police by saying, "But, Officer, marijuana is what allows me to ride this unicycle!", and sped away, possibly causing the world's first-ever unicycle police chase. Of course, an adept policeman might just whip out his own unicycle from the trunk of his cruiser and take off after him, alley-to-alley, causing the world's first-ever unicycle-on-unicycle police drug chase. You never see that on cop shows.

How about for a bit of realism you have the cop chasing unicycle guy in his regular bike until he hits a pothole and is forced to continue pursuit catwalking?


Any time anyone is riding a bicycle, there is always the chance that you will hit a pothole, and the bike will break in two, and you are forced on the fly to continue on your way on what is now a unicycle. This often happens to me on the way to and from the Acme supply store buying bird seed and anvils and such.
 
2012-08-10 12:21:51 PM  

CJHardin: It's fun to read that one in a Mitch Hedberg style.


EVERYTHING is more fun to read in a Mitch Hedberg style.
 
2012-08-10 02:22:12 PM  
Hmmmm... The unicycle forum website went down today. Coincidence?
 
2012-08-10 03:10:22 PM  
Well there goes my argument.
 
2012-08-10 07:05:16 PM  

King Something: You know who else rode a unicycle?


Donald Rumsfeld?
 
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