Here's what a Virginia spoiler might look like.

About time Johnson got some press! *click* Who the fark is that?

Craptastic: Be Goode, be Goode,
Be Goode, be Goode, be Goode,
Be Goode, be Goode, be Goode,
Be Goode, Viiiiiirgil...

/sorry 'bout that, I was listening to some Men at Work earlier today.

Oh, please.

♪♫ Deep mid-dle of Vir-gin-ia, close to Ro-a-noke, ♫♪
♫♪ Way up in Rock-y Mount right near a big live oak. ♪♫
♪♫ It was-n't a log cabin made of earth nor wood, ♫♪
♫♪ Where lived a city boy name of Vir-gil H. Goode, ♪♫
♪♫ Who never ever learned to think or rea-son well, ♫♪
♫♪ But he could sure spout some derp just like a Tea-bag-ger yell. ♪♫

(Chorus)
♪♫ So, run! ♫♪
♫♪ Run, Vir-gil, run run! ♪♫
♪♫ Run, Vir-gil, run run! ♫♪
♫♪ Run, Vir-gil, run run! ♪♫
♪♫ Run, Vir-gil, run run! ♫♪
♫♪ Vir-gil H. Goode! ♪♫

♪♫ As pol-i-ti-cians go, you could call him a hack, ♫♪
♫♪ De-rail-in' leg-is-la-tion was his on-ly knack. ♪♫
♪♫ There was no con-tro-ver-sy which he wouldn't wade, ♫♪
♫♪ The Con-sti-tu-tion Par-ty nom-in-a-tion made. ♪♫
♪♫ The People passing by, they would stop and see, ♫♪
♫♪ If he could take 'nuff votes from Mitt Rom-ney. ♪♫

(Chorus)

♪♫ His mother told him someday you will be a man, ♫♪
♫♪ And ev-en run for leader of this great big land. ♪♫
♪♫ Many people coming from miles around, ♫♪
♫♪ Check your name on their bal-lot 'ere the sun go down. ♪♫
♪♫ Maybe someday your name will be shouted, hey, ♫♪
♫♪ Vote for Vir-gil Goode today! ♪♫

(Chorus)
(Repeat Chorus)

Aarontology: That'd be hilarious. But also scary, since Romney losing because of that would cause the GOP to go "MOAR CONSERVATIVE!!!"

Only if he picks a milquetoast man to be his running mate. If he ends up picking Paul Ryan and he loses, there's no way they can claim they weren't conservative enough.

/ah, who am I kidding?

It's only August, and we're already blaming third party candidates?

Lord Dimwit: Somacandra: FTFA: Speaking with a TV station in Lynchburg, Goode said he wanted to take votes away from both candidates. He hopes to be added to a ballot in late August, as a Constitution Party candidate.

[i.imgur.com image 550x339]

No one. NO ONE who would otherwise vote Obama would ever vote Constitution Party. Their platform is somewhere to the political right of the Sikh gurdwara shooter and Idi Amin.

Idi Amin was black and is therefore a Democrat and therefore all Democrats are muderous dictators and Idi Amin is probably Obama's real father anyway.

/ this is what Fark Conservatrols were probably thinking when they read that

You really think the average Fark Independent knows who Idi Amin is?

Aarontology: That'd be hilarious. But also scary, since Romney losing because of that would cause the GOP to go "MOAR CONSERVATIVE!!!"

They had their chances to choose a "moar" conservative candidate instead of Romney. They have themselves to blame on that.

/ I wish Santorum would have won the nomination.
// It would force the GOP to move more to the center in the future after the pounding he would have taken this Nov.

Looking at his website, he's got the expected Conservative Party views. I'll do my part to suggest this fine right-wing candidate to associates of mine in Virginia who find Romney too much of a liberal flip-flopper.

I just need to practice how to do this with a straight face.

Can we get him on the ballot in Texas? It would be epic if Obama could take Texas that way.

most conservative Texans I know only will vote for Romney out of spite towards Obama.