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(Bangor Daily News)   Teenagers these days... it's all video games, pornography, and diving into swift rivers to save drowning adults   (bangordailynews.com) divider line 53
    More: Hero, Stillwater River, Orono, Maine Medical Center, video games, Anton Klose  
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8445 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Aug 2012 at 2:15 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-09 01:33:12 PM
Kind of ironic to name it "Stillwater," eh?
 
2012-08-09 01:37:51 PM
If being all video games and pornography is wrong, I don't want to be right.
 
2012-08-09 02:18:44 PM
And if you have a video game in which you save a MILF from a river and win a bang from her, what more could you ask for?
 
2012-08-09 02:19:18 PM
bdnpull.bangorpublishing.netdna-cdn.com
I wonder what the missing words are.
 
2012-08-09 02:20:08 PM
Fortunately, countless hours of playing violent videogames gave the young man incredibly quick reflexes and situational awareness.
 
2012-08-09 02:20:52 PM
His father, Robert Klose, said he is very proud of the two young men and even went so far as to call them heroes.

His son was sitting on the back of a firetruck with a blanket wrapped around him.

"He had kind of a Cheshire cat smile," Robert Klose said. "The smile said to me: 'I just touched a boob.'"
 
2012-08-09 02:21:05 PM
i just like how steam has an internet browser that you can pull up while in game.
 
2012-08-09 02:23:08 PM
I'm 36, and that still applies to me... cept the whole diving part... not that i wouldn't, i'm just never in a position to rescue someone seeing as how i'm never out of the basement and all...
 
2012-08-09 02:27:23 PM
I'll wait two years.
 
2012-08-09 02:29:05 PM
I've done this before (the swimming across a swift current to save someone part), it's harder than it sounds.
 
2012-08-09 02:33:07 PM
In before "Sorry, not a hero!"
 
2012-08-09 02:33:39 PM
Were they lost Florida hikers?
 
2012-08-09 02:34:37 PM

xanadian: Kind of ironic to name it "Stillwater," eh?


www.zootpatrol.com
 
2012-08-09 02:35:01 PM
First appropriate use of the [hero] tag I've ever seen on Fark. Good job on that one.

//Pulling people to shore is a pain in the ass even in mild chop with someone alert enough to stop farking splashing about when you tell them to. I would not want to do it in a moving river with an idiot whacking me over the head every half-second. +1 to this kid for pulling that shiat off without someone going down.
 
2012-08-09 02:39:37 PM
The porn gave them the arm strength and the violent video games taught them to be decisive.
 
2012-08-09 02:43:57 PM

Jim_Callahan: First appropriate use of the [hero] tag I've ever seen on Fark. Good job on that one.


Sweet elitism...

/Of course it's the only one that ever mattered... ever.
 
2012-08-09 02:44:16 PM
One positive example of teenage activity doesn't negate the deserved stereotype for the entire generation, subby.
 
2012-08-09 02:47:13 PM
Too many times the "hero" ends up drowning as the panicked swimmer will grab and push them under trying to stay afloat. Knowing basic lifesaving in the water is essential. I have been on rivers where the distressed swimmers made it and the person who went to help didn't! Fast water river and rapid swimming is fun, but you better know what you are doing, and what the dangers are! If a panicked and drowning swimmer grabs you (first instinct) and pushes you down (and thus themselves up) Go Down! - they will not follow and will let go - get behind them and put them in a headlock and only then swim to safety - anything else is too dangerous to the both of you!
 
2012-08-09 02:50:55 PM
He could have saved him faster if he hadn't been tweeting while swimming.
 
2012-08-09 02:51:50 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-08-09 02:52:30 PM

xanadian: Kind of ironic to name it "Stillwater," eh?


Came to say this
 
2012-08-09 02:52:58 PM

Rogue Surf: If a panicked and drowning swimmer grabs you (first instinct) and pushes you down (and thus themselves up) Go Down! - they will not follow and will let go


that makes pretty good sense... hmm... i thought you were supposed to punch them in the face (according to some movie)
 
2012-08-09 02:53:41 PM
Two hero stories in one week? Have I missed any more? Is this a new trend on FARK? Are we going to lose boobies,dummies,and general nonsense? Heroes are great,but they remind me of what I'm not. Dumbness shows me what I have to watch for.And boobies are just great to see.More boobs,please.
 
2012-08-09 02:55:29 PM
Whar Quagmire arm??? Whar???
 
2012-08-09 02:55:43 PM
2-3. also not a teenager.
 
2012-08-09 03:03:49 PM
 
2012-08-09 03:07:56 PM

sweet-daddy-2: Two hero stories in one week? Have I missed any more? Is this a new trend on FARK? Are we going to lose boobies,dummies,and general nonsense? Heroes are great,but they remind me of what I'm not. Dumbness shows me what I have to watch for.And boobies are just great to see.More boobs,please.


The young hero told reporters, "Now that I'm done rescuing people, I can go back to having sex with my teachers and stabbing people for pocket change in Florida. See you on Fark!"
 
2012-08-09 03:24:12 PM
I can honestly say that I would have done the exact same thing when i was their age. Now, married with kids...not a chance
 
2012-08-09 03:42:17 PM

Zulgaines: [i.imgur.com image 600x398]


wtf, why? :(
 
2012-08-09 04:12:12 PM

OnlyM3: In other news
Police and fire officials watch man drown


I'm normally pretty anti-cop, but...
"According to city officials and witnesses, police and firefighters in the city of Alameda did not attempt to rescue the man as he took his own life because they did not have water training."

Probably for the best. One death vs. several.
 
2012-08-09 04:13:00 PM

ScotterOtter: I can honestly say that I would have done the exact same thing when i was their age. Now, married with kids...not a chance


Well, of course not. No one should be married with kids at their age.
 
2012-08-09 04:44:33 PM

Rogue Surf: Too many times the "hero" ends up drowning as the panicked swimmer will grab and push them under trying to stay afloat. Knowing basic lifesaving in the water is essential. I have been on rivers where the distressed swimmers made it and the person who went to help didn't! Fast water river and rapid swimming is fun, but you better know what you are doing, and what the dangers are! If a panicked and drowning swimmer grabs you (first instinct) and pushes you down (and thus themselves up) Go Down! - they will not follow and will let go - get behind them and put them in a headlock and only then swim to safety - anything else is too dangerous to the both of you!


this is worth repeating. Rogue Surf knows of what they speak. Please take heed fellow Farkers.
 
2012-08-09 05:03:53 PM
Wait. Just because the surface looks like glass doesn't mean there isn't a current in a river and you can just go wading in with zero swimming experience?

Lack of common sense scares me.
 
2012-08-09 05:04:21 PM

Rogue Surf: Too many times the "hero" ends up drowning as the panicked swimmer will grab and push them under trying to stay afloat. Knowing basic lifesaving in the water is essential. I have been on rivers where the distressed swimmers made it and the person who went to help didn't! Fast water river and rapid swimming is fun, but you better know what you are doing, and what the dangers are! If a panicked and drowning swimmer grabs you (first instinct) and pushes you down (and thus themselves up) Go Down! - they will not follow and will let go - get behind them and put them in a headlock and only then swim to safety - anything else is too dangerous to the both of you!


This. They will not follow you down. You shouldn't be within arms length if you can help it. You only make body to body contact as a last resort or you may both die. I took rescue course as a kid and actually had to use it once on the Kern River. Scary shiat that is.
 
2012-08-09 05:09:01 PM

Rogue Surf: Too many times the "hero" ends up drowning as the panicked swimmer will grab and push them under trying to stay afloat. Knowing basic lifesaving in the water is essential. I have been on rivers where the distressed swimmers made it and the person who went to help didn't! Fast water river and rapid swimming is fun, but you better know what you are doing, and what the dangers are! If a panicked and drowning swimmer grabs you (first instinct) and pushes you down (and thus themselves up) Go Down! - they will not follow and will let go - get behind them and put them in a headlock and only then swim to safety - anything else is too dangerous to the both of you!


This is what I was taught when I certified for as a lifeguard, way back in the day. We ended up having to practice on lifesaving instructors who tried very hard to drown us in the process of simulating panicky people.

It was at this point I decided A) I was never going to be a lifeguard for anything deeper than a wading pool, and B) if anyone started drowning in my pool I was just going to throw floaty crap at them and hope for the best. Minimum wage ain't worth getting choked over.
 
2012-08-09 05:28:49 PM

titwrench: I took rescue course as a kid and actually had to use it once on the Kern River. Scary shiat that is.


Must have been a stream of consciousness in Comic Sans.
 
2012-08-09 05:37:05 PM
Hey, I may have been a perv when I was a kid,
but I was a nice guy and gave often.

One is not the other.

A hero doesn't need to be a Paladin.


/I'm more of a Fafhrd or a Stainless Steel Rat...
 
2012-08-09 05:43:55 PM
I've been swimming there before. That current is very swift because there is a large dam and water treatment not far downstream. This is not the place you want to get pulled because even though it's not very deep, you hit those falls and you're dead. They're very high. Good for these two :D
 
2012-08-09 05:52:54 PM
Titwrench...Ah, the deadly Kern River in CA, that, and the "Numbers" in Colorado are well known for causing the most carnage and drownings year after year in Class V water! My daughter at 11 or 12 actually saved a small child from the deep-end of a pool when some mommy "looked away" and was busy for just a few moments! I beleve she hasnow been in 4-5 boat flips over the years and was taught to swim very well at an early age!
 
2012-08-09 06:00:53 PM

Crewmannumber6: I've done this before (the swimming across a swift current to save someone part), it's harder than it sounds.


It's hard enough to swim in swift current even if your a strong swimmer. Even harder when the idiot your trying to save is doing their best to drown you also. That kid is a hero.
 
2012-08-09 06:05:30 PM

Rogue Surf: Titwrench...Ah, the deadly Kern River in CA, that, and the "Numbers" in Colorado are well known for causing the most carnage and drownings year after year in Class V water! My daughter at 11 or 12 actually saved a small child from the deep-end of a pool when some mommy "looked away" and was busy for just a few moments! I beleve she hasnow been in 4-5 boat flips over the years and was taught to swim very well at an early age!


My dad surfed his whole life so I was in the water and swimming before I could walk. Water is a powerful biatch but if you know what you are doing there's no reason you can't avoid/survive water accidents. Panic will kill you faster than the water will.
 
2012-08-09 06:28:04 PM
I'm starting to like the Internet again with stories like this.

I'm only a half-decent swimmer and hope I would have tried this too rather than chickening out. If I would have drowned I'd be OK with that when on the other side.

And this is how to use the HERO tag.
 
2012-08-09 06:47:20 PM

bmihura: I'm only a half-decent swimmer and hope I would have tried this too rather than chickening out. If I would have drowned I'd be OK with that when on the other side.


Maybe take some swimming lessons if you live somewhere where this has the potential to happen?

Knowing basic first aid/rescue for your home terrain is kind of an important life skill, it's one of the reasons that Boy Scouts were so popular when I was a kid. Though now they seem to be focused on homophobia and you no longer have to actually go through camp training to gain ranks, so I dunno... maybe try going to/sending your kids to the Red Cross events? I know they do at least CPR and basic rescue refreshers.

//Though, like I said, roughest water you get in my area is about half a foot of chop so pulling a non-swimmer dumb enough to fall out of a boat to shore is much simpler, you just have to keep them basically afloat and shift them a couple hundred yards, which can be done with a crawl stroke at arm's length.
 
2012-08-09 06:52:49 PM
Yeah, I would have a hard time going in to save someone that's close to my size or larger. I'm not a strong enough swimmer to deal with a panicked idiot who won't just lay back and let me haul them to shore.
 
2012-08-09 06:57:19 PM

Jim_Callahan: bmihura: I'm only a half-decent swimmer and hope I would have tried this too rather than chickening out. If I would have drowned I'd be OK with that when on the other side.

Maybe take some swimming lessons if you live somewhere where this has the potential to happen?

Knowing basic first aid/rescue for your home terrain is kind of an important life skill, it's one of the reasons that Boy Scouts were so popular when I was a kid. Though now they seem to be focused on homophobia and you no longer have to actually go through camp training to gain ranks, so I dunno... maybe try going to/sending your kids to the Red Cross events? I know they do at least CPR and basic rescue refreshers.

//Though, like I said, roughest water you get in my area is about half a foot of chop so pulling a non-swimmer dumb enough to fall out of a boat to shore is much simpler, you just have to keep them basically afloat and shift them a couple hundred yards, which can be done with a crawl stroke at arm's length.


Good advice Jim. These rapid-water events don't happen much where I live (Austin TX will rarely flood big-time), but they can happen more often in places where I go for fun.

Time for swimming lessons and scuba certs again!
 
2012-08-09 06:58:21 PM
In related news, a 4 yr old who fell into a coma shortly after rescuing a drowning 3 yr old because he nearly drowned himself, was just taken off life support in my city. His organs are being donated but the family needs help with medical bills.

They have a goal of $10,000 and people have given $6,500 so far.

You can read about it and find the donation link if you have the ability to help this little hero's family

Link to story of the little angel of the pool
 
2012-08-09 08:02:11 PM
Very uplifting story. Those kids are awesome.
 
2012-08-09 08:03:28 PM

1nsanilicious: In related news, a 4 yr old who fell into a coma shortly after rescuing a drowning 3 yr old because he nearly drowned himself, was just taken off life support in my city. His organs are being donated but the family needs help with medical bills.

They have a goal of $10,000 and people have given $6,500 so far.

You can read about it and find the donation link if you have the ability to help this little hero's family

Link to story of the little angel of the pool


That's a story I can't even think of anything to make a joke about. I forgot my snarky comment I was going to make about TFA even.

/something about how I was surprised that she had a river in her kitchen...
 
2012-08-09 09:41:12 PM
I took a lifeguard course when I was 15 or 16. We had to swim a mile while dragging some damned mannequin. It was farking awful.

And, then one day, while lifeguarding, I actually had to save a kid who was flipping the fark out. I grabbed the pole beside the pool, stood on the edge, and thumped the kid in the shoulder with the end of it while yelling "STAND UP! YOU'RE IN 4 FEET OF WATER!"

He did.
 
2012-08-10 04:19:21 AM
I blame the parents, tsk tsk.

Nice story.
 
2012-08-10 05:01:05 AM
"The smile said to me: 'You see I am capable of goodness even though I'm 16.'"

That's nice and all, but I'm thinking it was a "I am SO gonna get laid for this!" kinda smile.

/worked for me
//lifeguard for 10 years
///100 years and 50 lbs ago
 
2012-08-10 11:40:37 AM

Incog_Neeto: Crewmannumber6: I've done this before (the swimming across a swift current to save someone part), it's harder than it sounds.

It's hard enough to swim in swift current even if your a strong swimmer. Even harder when the idiot your trying to save is doing their best to drown you also. That kid is a hero.


I couldn't agree with you more. I almost died that day.
 
2012-08-10 07:06:13 PM
Theaetetus

OnlyM3: In other news
Police and fire officials watch man drown

I'm normally pretty anti-cop, but...
"According to city officials and witnesses, police and firefighters in the city of Alameda did not attempt to rescue the man as he took his own life because they did not have water training."

Probably for the best.

And how many hours of specialized training did these two kids with no backup have?
 
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