FARK.com: (7259048) I know - how about a Roadhouse remake starring Guy Fieri?

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		I know - how about a Roadhouse remake starring Guy Fieri? (flint.craigslist.org)		53
		More: Amusing, Guy Fieri, roadhouses, Uh-Oh!, remakes

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3947 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 09 Aug 2012 at 10:05 AM | Favorite | share:

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FlashHarry		2012-08-09 08:48:52 AM

ok, that was funny as shiat.

ballistic123		2012-08-09 10:09:25 AM

This speaks to me. During many celebraisheses, my badass handshakes from the streets elicit carnal stares.

strangeguitar		2012-08-09 10:09:27 AM

Now that is funny.

Snapper Carr		2012-08-09 10:11:13 AM

I used to fark guys like Guy Fieri in prison.

Tom_Slick		2012-08-09 10:12:05 AM

Let's set up a private convo, possibly in my neck of the woods, or you could fly me to Hollywood (first class).

I like the brashness, fly me to L.A. damn it and I better not be in coach. Funny as hell.

save russian jews		2012-08-09 10:13:55 AM

punch the stupid wraparound glasses off of his fat idiot farker face

Apos		2012-08-09 10:17:43 AM

How about no,subby?

LeafyGreens		2012-08-09 10:18:49 AM

GUY COOLER: Yeah, it's so money. Thanks for lettin' me kick things up in the kitchen on my time off for free.

CAPTAIN KARL: My pleasure. The menu is so on point. And such a great value for the large portions.

GUY COOLER: Yeah, but I gotta hand it to you, the "Cheetos on anything for an extra $1" idea is really off the chain. Adds such a great texture to any dish.

GUY COOLER and CAPTAIN KARL (together): Bold flavors. (They do a badass handshake from the streets. Some babes see it and give a carnal stare.)

That was so off the chain, yet on point!

retarded		2012-08-09 10:22:09 AM

"GUY COOLER: Uh oh. Looks like you thanked me too soon. Look, it's Doug Carlson. He's pretty much the biggest load in town."

I LOL'd.

Onkel Buck		2012-08-09 10:23:58 AM

I did security for one of Guy's live demo things. Had to ride in the elevator with him and escort him around. Seemed like a decent guy, kinda short though, and doesnt have that "bad ass" aura about him a bar bouncer needs to have. He doesnt do a lot of cooking at his show either, has his lackeys do it while he tells stories.

Cisco-Kid		2012-08-09 10:25:16 AM

I thought you'd be taller. And less doughy.

Krowdaddy Chixdiggit		2012-08-09 10:25:38 AM

They WILL draw the wrath of Swayze's ghost!

acaciaavenue		2012-08-09 10:29:27 AM

That'll be great. They can zoom in real close to that fat f*ck eating and talking with his mouth full.

NOBTTHTHY PUTHH CHOMP SMACK BAYYBBAEHHEHHGORP INTH HEHH CORHTHTCHOMP

cptwngr		2012-08-09 10:34:50 AM

This is from DadBoner's twitter . His Amazon wish list was pretty great also.

mitchcumstein1		2012-08-09 10:35:50 AM

Night. A bar in the Flint area. (It also serves some of the best eats in the USA. Cheetos on anything for $1. Sammies are all piled high. The works, really. Full spread.) A kickass neon sign says, "Captain Karl's Pizza Ship." Van Halen is on stage rockin' so hard. There's chest beefers from coast to coast. It's pretty much the biggest celebraish anyone's ever seen. Guy Cooler (played by Guy Fieri) is hangin' out behind the bar, peepin' all the babes and makin' sure everyone's safe. The owner, Captain Karl, is doin' a new dance that's sweepin' the nation called "The Peener" with 4-6 consensual babes, ripe with all the toppings. Drippin' with sweat (the wet look) Karl decides to play the hot corner for a cold one, and calls Cooler over for a guy to Guy.

This is the greatest thing I have ever read.

chevydeuce		2012-08-09 10:37:00 AM

I don't know what the fark that was supposed to be about....but, god-damn if it didn't make me giggle like a 4th grade girl....funny shiat...

xenophon10k		2012-08-09 10:37:08 AM

How 'bout no! Ya crazy Dutch bastard.

Rapmaster2000		2012-08-09 10:40:03 AM

I felt like that was written by Jim Anchower.

Mr. Cat Poop		2012-08-09 10:40:41 AM

Anybody ever watch the DTV sequel? Is it good for laffs?

Snacktastrophe		2012-08-09 10:40:50 AM

my favorite description of Guy Fieri is that he "looks like a kid playing the sun in a school play"

NashMcNash		2012-08-09 10:42:43 AM

Karl Welzein is the shiat. @dadboner on Twitter.

Rapmaster2000		2012-08-09 10:44:36 AM

mitchcumstein1: Night. A bar in the Flint area. (It also serves some of the best eats in the USA. Cheetos on anything for $1. Sammies are all piled high. The works, really. Full spread.) A kickass neon sign says, "Captain Karl's Pizza Ship." Van Halen is on stage rockin' so hard. There's chest beefers from coast to coast. It's pretty much the biggest celebraish anyone's ever seen. Guy Cooler (played by Guy Fieri) is hangin' out behind the bar, peepin' all the babes and makin' sure everyone's safe. The owner, Captain Karl, is doin' a new dance that's sweepin' the nation called "The Peener" with 4-6 consensual babes, ripe with all the toppings. Drippin' with sweat (the wet look) Karl decides to play the hot corner for a cold one, and calls Cooler over for a guy to Guy.

This is the greatest thing I have ever read.

Chest beefers is my new favorite term.

Already Disturbed		2012-08-09 10:50:04 AM

I occasionally find his show interesting, but he comes off as douchey.

mitchcumstein1		2012-08-09 11:00:20 AM

Rapmaster2000: mitchcumstein1: Night. A bar in the Flint area. (It also serves some of the best eats in the USA. Cheetos on anything for $1. Sammies are all piled high. The works, really. Full spread.) A kickass neon sign says, "Captain Karl's Pizza Ship." Van Halen is on stage rockin' so hard. There's chest beefers from coast to coast. It's pretty much the biggest celebraish anyone's ever seen. Guy Cooler (played by Guy Fieri) is hangin' out behind the bar, peepin' all the babes and makin' sure everyone's safe. The owner, Captain Karl, is doin' a new dance that's sweepin' the nation called "The Peener" with 4-6 consensual babes, ripe with all the toppings. Drippin' with sweat (the wet look) Karl decides to play the hot corner for a cold one, and calls Cooler over for a guy to Guy.

This is the greatest thing I have ever read.

Chest beefers is my new favorite term.

For me it's all about consensual babes, ripe with all the toppings.

George_Spelvin		2012-08-09 11:23:06 AM

ROADHOUSE!

dennerman		2012-08-09 11:23:20 AM

At first I thought this was stupid, but by the time I finished reading it I realized it's genius.

LesserEvil		2012-08-09 11:24:32 AM

Heh.... I clicked on the link, and saw my local Craigslist link... I'm thinking, was that a redirect to my 'default'? Then I see the ad location: Grand Blanc.

Hey, with no jobs, we have to do something around here. Might as well get into writing screen plays.

Tyrone Biggums		2012-08-09 11:26:39 AM

dennerman: At first I thought this was stupid, but by the time I finished reading it I realized it's genius.

Same here.

wildsnowllama		2012-08-09 11:28:59 AM

THAT'S MONEY!!!

LeroyBourne		2012-08-09 11:30:55 AM

It's kinda ironic if they did do a re-make it would be very similar.

bigmf		2012-08-09 11:58:43 AM

Really looking forward to the weekend, you guys.

calbert		2012-08-09 12:21:47 PM

that movie was bad. it wasn't 'so bad it's good'. it was bad. Battlefield Earth bad... and I don't see anyone pretending to like Battlefield Earth just to be hip and ironic.

:-/
mammajamma
frogdammit

exparrot		2012-08-09 12:22:51 PM

I wish I could charge by the apostrophe...

Rumo		2012-08-09 12:32:09 PM

It's like Robert Hamburger grew up and became a screenwriter. Full of WTF, but I couldn't stop laughing

DubyaHater		2012-08-09 12:32:46 PM

Every problem in life can be solved by kicking with hair bleach and costume jewelry

katerbug72		2012-08-09 12:32:51 PM

Douche don't hurt.

Rapmaster2000		2012-08-09 01:05:55 PM

calbert: that movie was bad. it wasn't 'so bad it's good'. it was bad. Battlefield Earth bad... and I don't see anyone pretending to like Battlefield Earth just to be hip and ironic.

:-/
mammajamma
frogdammit

Roadhouse is best viewed as like a porno. The plot only serves to link together the fight scenes.

MatrixOutsider		2012-08-09 01:12:17 PM

Pain don't hurt...especially now since I have been dead for several months.

acad1228		2012-08-09 01:15:04 PM

book mark fer later. It's nap time.

srhp29		2012-08-09 01:22:20 PM

Rapmaster2000: calbert: that movie was bad. it wasn't 'so bad it's good'. it was bad. Battlefield Earth bad... and I don't see anyone pretending to like Battlefield Earth just to be hip and ironic.

:-/
mammajamma
frogdammit

Roadhouse is best viewed as like a porno. The plot only serves to link together the fight scenes.

Plus watching it at only five to ten minutes a pop only extends its excellence.

laid back w/bud light		2012-08-09 01:28:31 PM

There's a joke about him being the Double Dousche.

bbachofner		2012-08-09 01:30:55 PM

I feel like I could drink a thousand beers you guys

BuckyFudge		2012-08-09 02:48:16 PM

Is it just me or does that guy sounds like Kenny Farking Powers?

peewinkle		2012-08-09 03:18:18 PM

Funny as shiat, and then I realized it's from my home town CL. AND THAT I KNOW THE GUY THAT WROTE THIS IS AND HE IS SERIOUS. His promotion company is famous for ripping off bands when he puts together gigs.

The Billdozer		2012-08-09 06:25:57 PM

peewinkle: Funny as shiat, and then I realized it's from my home town CL. AND THAT I KNOW THE GUY THAT WROTE THIS IS AND HE IS SERIOUS. His promotion company is famous for ripping off bands when he puts together gigs.

You know the guy who basically proves that God exists and has an awesome sense of humor? The guy who is mankind's greatest achievement, the dadboner himself, Karl Welzein?

Forgive me if I don't call shenanigans.

i_dig_chicks		2012-08-09 06:48:44 PM

Were rolling out on my regular Saturday night thing.

Kuroshin		2012-08-09 07:10:30 PM

Snacktastrophe: my favorite description of Guy Fieri is that he "looks like a kid playing the sun in a school play"

Same could be said of Anne Burrell...