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(Slate)   So just what information do you need to provide on a KKK application, anyway?   (slate.com) divider line 137
    More: Interesting, KKK, fraternal organizations, extremist groups, KKK application  
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13404 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Aug 2012 at 1:00 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-09 01:02:48 PM  
If you fill one out properly do they see that as grounds for rejection?
 
2012-08-09 01:03:05 PM  
Race I'm assuming.
 
2012-08-09 01:03:07 PM  
Race:

a) White
b) Very White
c) Transparent
d) Beige
 
2012-08-09 01:04:00 PM  
i2.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-09 01:04:18 PM  
Draw yer name with a large crude X and yer good ta go!
 
2012-08-09 01:04:22 PM  
Advanced noose-tying
Intermediate cross-burning
Beginner church-demolition
 
2012-08-09 01:05:05 PM  
 
2012-08-09 01:05:38 PM  
They'd probably get a lot more applicants if they allowed online registration.
 
2012-08-09 01:06:09 PM  
Where you stampeded cattle.
www.morethings.com
/kinky
 
2012-08-09 01:07:16 PM  
I am guessing they don't reject many applications based on spelling issues.
 
2012-08-09 01:07:38 PM  

austin_millbarge: If you fill one out properly do they see that as grounds for rejection?


i48.tinypic.com

Hell, it aint like the good old days...I couldn't get but thirteen to show up tonight. And five of them was green auxiliaries...stand-ins, you might say. Things have got so bad...we rent out. Last year we opened a supermarket and were part of the half time ceremonies at a tractor pull. But the low point was when we got ten bucks for singing "He's a Jolly Good Fellow" at some guy's birthday.

/The guy was black.
 
2012-08-09 01:07:40 PM  
The "should not be confused with any self-styled or imitation klan" made me LOL.

Sheeeet Darla Jean Jughead, I done joined us up in one of tham thar imitation hate-groups!
 
2012-08-09 01:07:59 PM  
which hand you use to zip?
 
2012-08-09 01:09:38 PM  

brap: The "should not be confused with any self-styled or imitation klan" made me LOL.

Sheeeet Darla Jean Jughead, I done joined us up in one of tham thar imitation hate-groups!


ICan'tBelieveItsNotBubba
 
2012-08-09 01:09:48 PM  
When your sister got married did you gain a brother or lose a cousin?
 
2012-08-09 01:10:47 PM  
When the Klan shows up to hold a rally somewhere, usually people hold protests about it.  This is the wrong idea.  They should get a large crowd to show up, and just laugh at everything.  Prefereabbly while pointing and holding their gut.  If confronted by someone in a bed sheet, they should address the little scamps in the voice and language level generally reserved for a three year old.
 
2012-08-09 01:10:58 PM  
Ask Daniel Carver.
 
2012-08-09 01:11:02 PM  

Fano: Draw yer name with a large crude X and yer good ta go!


Nah, nah nah, yu did'n learn dim bout us'n yar gun to make da pen fit.
 
2012-08-09 01:12:09 PM  
I love the "Explain on back" part of the felony question. It's probably OK that you're a felon, we just want to make sure you didn't kill any white straight people.
 
2012-08-09 01:12:13 PM  
what you were doing during gaps on your resume?
 
2012-08-09 01:12:27 PM  

LaraAmber: When your sister got married did you gain a brother or lose a cousin?


Both.
 
2012-08-09 01:14:38 PM  
I bet they ask for your credit report too.
 
2012-08-09 01:14:39 PM  
Robe size [S] [M] [L] [XL]

Hat size [S]
 
2012-08-09 01:16:36 PM  
The same information that is needed on a Tea Party registration
 
2012-08-09 01:18:55 PM  
Question 5: Three klansmen ride west out of Mississippi on horse at 15mph. Thirty minutes later, two negros head east out of Houston at 17mph. How much rope will the three men need?
 
2012-08-09 01:19:24 PM  
Klansman: "How much do you hate black people?"
Recruit: "A lot"
Klansman: "All right, you're in"
content6.flixster.com
 
2012-08-09 01:20:33 PM  
Race? It's not that simple.

Tick as many as apply

1. Sex: Male __ Wrong __
2. Race: White __ Off-White __ Eggshell __ Creme __ Eau de Nile (explain) __ Café au lait __ (explain in great detail)
3. On the paper provided, indicate the personal details of your ancestors, spouses, mistresses, lovers, concubines, slaves, and children (including adopted or stolen children) for the last 13 generations, if known. Explain any discrepancies, such as negroes in the wood pile, black sheep, bastards, non-bastards, incest, inbreeding and alien abductions.
4. IQ

THIS SPACE LEFT INTENTIONALLY BLANK.

5. Income: $US or $CDN only ___________ (If necessary, continue the zeroes on a separate piece of paper, Colonel or Senator.).

6. Do you need? White sheets? ____ White Pillowcases ___ . Indicate how many of each you will need for you and your sons, nephews, bastards, etc, as well as sizes and thread counts. Specify linen, cotton or polyester. If you have your own sheets and pilllowcases, were they purchased from an authorized clan dealer? If not, leave 'em on your bed. We're not in this business for our health, stupid. This is a a pyramid scheme. We make most of our money by having a monopoly on white linen and cotton goods since 1978.

7. Are you a felon? ______ What felonies did you commit and against whom? (Explain in detail on paper provided.) Are any of these skills transferable to Klan business?

8. Are you enclosing a certified cheque or money order? ___ (Do not enclose cash or coins. Our performance staff are often felons and non-white.) How much are you enclosing? Double it and we'll grant you an even more ridiculous title. $US or $CDN _______________

Have a nice day! This offer valid only in the States of the Confederacy and only to Our Kind, Kine, and Kin.
 
2012-08-09 01:23:19 PM  
"What is your politics" ?
 
2012-08-09 01:23:19 PM  
You know that "Do you speak with a heavy Southern accent?" is on there somewhere.
 
2012-08-09 01:23:28 PM  
I knew of a former KKK guy that was actually pretty high up in the chain whose son married a Vietnamese gal from California. I guess he forgot to pass his hatred of other races to his son.

Funny thing is he never had any issue with the wedding or her and welcomed her into his family like if she is the daughter the Grand Dragon himself.
 
2012-08-09 01:25:53 PM  
I heard I'm immediately disqualified because I have slept with black chicks. Also, everyone thinks I'm Jewish for some reason.
 
2012-08-09 01:27:05 PM  
Top or bottom?
 
2012-08-09 01:27:24 PM  

brantgoose: Race? It's not that simple.

Tick as many as apply

1. Sex: Male __ Wrong __
2. Race: White __ Off-White __ Eggshell __ Creme __ Eau de Nile (explain) __ Café au lait __ (explain in great detail)
3. On the paper provided, indicate the personal details of your ancestors, spouses, mistresses, lovers, concubines, slaves, and children (including adopted or stolen children) for the last 13 generations, if known. Explain any discrepancies, such as negroes in the wood pile, black sheep, bastards, non-bastards, incest, inbreeding and alien abductions.
4. IQ

THIS SPACE LEFT INTENTIONALLY BLANK.

5. Income: $US or $CDN only ___________ (If necessary, continue the zeroes on a separate piece of paper, Colonel or Senator.).

6. Do you need? White sheets? ____ White Pillowcases ___ . Indicate how many of each you will need for you and your sons, nephews, bastards, etc, as well as sizes and thread counts. Specify linen, cotton or polyester. If you have your own sheets and pilllowcases, were they purchased from an authorized clan dealer? If not, leave 'em on your bed. We're not in this business for our health, stupid. This is a a pyramid scheme. We make most of our money by having a monopoly on white linen and cotton goods since 1978.

7. Are you a felon? ______ What felonies did you commit and against whom? (Explain in detail on paper provided.) Are any of these skills transferable to Klan business?

8. Are you enclosing a certified cheque or money order? ___ (Do not enclose cash or coins. Our performance staff are often felons and non-white.) How much are you enclosing? Double it and we'll grant you an even more ridiculous title. $US or $CDN _______________

Have a nice day! This offer valid only in the States of the Confederacy and only to Our Kind, Kine, and Kin.


9. What side dish will you bring to the annual Klan Picnic? _____ bologna salad ____ potato salad made with mayonnaise ____ potato salad made with Miracle Whip ____ tater tot casserole
 
2012-08-09 01:28:43 PM  

Gonad the Ballbarian: [i2.photobucket.com image 590x384]


Holy crap, I just noticed the date space: 20___

This is recent. How sad.
 
2012-08-09 01:29:47 PM  
What size of burnable cross can you fit into the bed of your step-side truck?
 
2012-08-09 01:30:02 PM  
Height, weight. To get the sizes right.
 
2012-08-09 01:30:47 PM  
(1) Willing to take my baby away: ___yes ___no (please check one)
 
2012-08-09 01:30:55 PM  

SuperNinjaToad: I knew of a former KKK guy that was actually pretty high up in the chain whose son married a Vietnamese gal from California. I guess he forgot to pass his hatred of other races to his son.

Funny thing is he never had any issue with the wedding or her and welcomed her into his family like if she is the daughter the Grand Dragon himself.


I get the feeling that for some of these guys its more like an inbred backwoods redneck frat that's more a way to organize get togethers, drink, and tell N jokes than a serious enterprise. Of course I've never known any (that I'm aware of) so I could be, no, I am engaging in rampant speculation.
 
2012-08-09 01:31:17 PM  
HOW BIG A BOY ARE YOU
 
2012-08-09 01:33:22 PM  
Do you enjoy posting in George Zimmerman threads?
 
2012-08-09 01:37:51 PM  

brantgoose: 7. Are you a felon? ______


That may not be such a bad question: my great-grandfather joined his local KKK chapter, became the treasurer, and stole all their money. I'm not sure whether he was already a felon, though.
 
2012-08-09 01:39:30 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: The same information that is needed on a Tea Party registration


Anybody every told you that you're really farking stupid?
 
2012-08-09 01:40:13 PM  
prisoncinema.files.wordpress.com

"Are you, or have you ever been, a member of the Soggy Bottom Boys?"
 
2012-08-09 01:40:17 PM  
I could lie and say I am totally white - I am sure they wouldn't mind me too much since I was born in Germany and my father was Canadian, and my mother a Canadian citizen born abroad! I just won't mention that my Mom is Anglo-Indian (though a blue-eyed blonde) and my father part Anishnabe (I won't say which group). I have no felonies at all - I would be the perfect person to sneak in?

/Not into the really hardcore groups though - I would never pass those background checks.
//Not that I really want to do it either. Hate groups seem so stupid to me - so many sad, angry little boys that never really grew up.
 
2012-08-09 01:41:22 PM  

SuperNinjaToad: I knew of a former KKK guy that was actually pretty high up in the chain whose son married a Vietnamese gal from California. I guess he forgot to pass his hatred of other races to his son.
Funny thing is he never had any issue with the wedding or her and welcomed her into his family like if she is the daughter the Grand Dragon himself.


I bet she was thrilled when she saw the family photo album, too. I know I'd be excited if I found out that I had married into a family of bigots.
 
2012-08-09 01:43:46 PM  
1: Can you spell KKK?
 
2012-08-09 01:44:03 PM  
Looks alot like the NAACP application
 
2012-08-09 01:44:16 PM  
FTA: "Some applications include the question "Do you believe all men are created equal?""


No, I do not believe that men are "created".

And don't call me "equal".
 
2012-08-09 01:44:22 PM  

cowgirl toffee: I bet they ask for your credit report too.


You can get it from Free Kredit Report dot Kom.
 
2012-08-09 01:49:32 PM  

stonicus: 1: Can you spell KKK?


KAY EFF CEE
 
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