"So I'm nailing this chick from behind and...."

"Tell me, Kobe, is it twue what they say about the way you people are... gifted?"

"So I grabbed her breast from the side and pushed them together...

It's only this big, when it's soft.

"Yah, so she's tellin me we're getting a divorce, and I'm like, what if the next ring was THIS big. She still said no, so.. yah, I've got a room nearby."

So I was choking the shiat out of her, and just as I started to let go...

I came.

"So I once saw about this many skipped non voting entries in a Fark contest thread."

It's only as big around as a Foster's can, but at least it's long!

I once bought a diamond THIS BIG!!!

Cheron: "Tell me, Kobe, is it twue what they say about the way you people are... gifted?"

"Would you ladies care to accompany me to the number six dance this evening?"

"You see, I'm a rapist."

If you girls don't stay | ..... THIS FAR AWAY .... | you'll be meeting my wife later too!

You see... A watermelon is green on the outside and pink on the inside, and about this big around...

"And Coach K said that's how you...what was the term he used?...'pass' the basketball. It's like shooting the ball to another guy who'll shoot the ball for you. Who knows, maybe I'll try it in LA next season."

"Seriously, Shaq could stand this far from the basket and still not make the free throw!"

Right about then I yelled out, "I want to see ass to ass!"

At first it was much bigger, with my great athletic skills I managed to squeeze my ego down to this size.

"And this move I like to call 'Rocky Mountin'"

Where the white women at? Oh, never mind, here they are.

So the first step to give a girl a good motorboatin is you grab her like this

Girth? Oh, something like this...

So I ripped off her yellow, creme-filled panties. She was cool with it. I started farking her from behind. She was cool with it. I started choking her. She was cool with it. Then I grabbed her ass like this and stuck it in her browneye. She wasn't cool with it. Now I get booed every time I go to Denver to play the Nuggets.

"You know ladies...I like big butts...and I really cannot lie. Some brothers might try to deny but for me when I see a itty bitty waist and a round things this big...well I get sprung...True story, happened to me in Colorado."

"I call this my don't ask don't tell grip position"

"So I'll take your head like this, and then I'll take your head like that, and we'll call it 'The United Nations'"

RAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPE

Shaq's girlfriend is only this big, which is why his wand looks so large.

And if you can keep it right there, the sheep will just keep backing up. Cause he don't want to fall off that cliff.

So I had Shaq's ass in my hands like this and I finally found out how it tasted.

So I had to buy a diamond this big...

...and it's this wide.

INVISIBLE BABY

Is there s hotel nearby I show you something this large in?

"Hey, where the white women at?"

The truth is that I divorced my wife because she farked this white boy right here.

No honeechile, NOT this long, THIS THICK! So whose up for a foursome, I already bought the wifey her next ring?

"Pfffttt, amateurs, it's like they were amateurs. I don't get the Olympics."

And he looks me straight in the eye and he says, "The best part is it's made with Kobe beef." And that's the last time I went to one of Barkley's cookouts.

So I drive down to UC Irvine campus and park my Ferrari right out in front of the ARC. Leave the farker running. Some dumbass stand next to it while I go inside and work out. Shoot some rock. You can't believe how many white women there are in Irvine! I mean, between the Asians and the white chicks, the isn't a single goddamned one of them with hips wider than this. Well, 'cept for maybe this butter-faced Aussie sitting over here my right. But that's OK. She Blonde. Blonde chicks dig me. But enough about me! What do you think about my thumbs? I could one-hand each of you and stick a thumb right up you ass. Man. Call that Double Dribble. White girl on each hand. I mean. Sheeit!