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(Cracked)   Man, these video games suck, why can't any of them be fun and interesting? Here are Seven Amazing Video Games We'll Never Get To Play   (cracked.com ) divider line
    More: Cool, tomb raider, Groundhog Day, lightning storm, Mulder, triceratops, Arkham City, fun  
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12152 clicks; posted to Geek » on 08 Aug 2012 at 11:47 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-08 04:38:47 PM  

MoronLessOff: KhamanV: #3 is any Lovecraft story ever with a little bit of Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem which is, let's face it, just Lovecraft in Gamecube drag.

Like Amnesia?


I keep forgetting about that game, mostly because I still have to wash the underwear load for the week and the washer is to small for me to be shiatting my way through a two week supply in a few hours.
 
2012-08-08 04:41:13 PM  

Nick the What: I've noticed a lot of video game ideas start with a GTA sandbox theme.

Me too. I always thought GTA should be rebooted in the future and in the style of RoboCop.


Deus Ex: Human Revolution.

/it's even set in Detroit.
 
2012-08-08 04:45:22 PM  

GRCooper: (they weren't jerks about it, and helped me develop the concept, which was accepted and developed into a 1000 page design doc, which was then rejected by our parent (EA)).


Feel for ya, but the big boys are really against new IP (for reasons we both know and understand), keep the doc somewhere, you never know you might end up going indie.
 
2012-08-08 04:45:31 PM  
Man, that title sucks. Heres One Subby Whose Links I'll Never Click.
 
2012-08-08 04:49:19 PM  
Here's an example that, maybe, will get across the point Beta Tested and I were trying to make.

I was working on designing a game in 2006, the co-designer and I had the basic mechanic setup in Excel, and were playing against each other and having a blast.

We were having fun playing a spreadsheet.

Now, that game became a wild west shootout that was going to be part of an MMO, but the game would've worked just as well in a super hero game, a zombie card game, etc.

That's the difference between game setting and game design.

/again, wish my puter hadn't died, typing this on an iPhone suxxors
 
2012-08-08 04:49:34 PM  

Strategeryz0r: dragonchild: Strategeryz0r: Yes. That really was my character. And yes, we really did exactly what the article linked above described.

ahh the memories.

*snip*

You're right about the disconnect, but trust me when I say this. The idea that if Og is too big of a dick he gets exiled, very much rings true in Eve. You cannot be a very successful asshole if you're just being an asshole. There are many groups dedicated to bounty hunting, and providing security in unsecured space. You enter sector and start being a complete douche, you'll be dropped in no time flat. If you lower your security rating too much, CONCORD will open fire on you on site, and you will show up as an explicitly hostile target to everybody in the game.

When my bounty as at it's highest, I had probably 30 people at least who did nothing but track me across the universe trying to kill me and get it. They never did, but goddamn did they ever try.

That's the thing I hate about WoW, a complete lack of player control. Everything is scripted, and the rules are so strict as not to offend anybody that you can't REALLY be a jerk. What people in WoW call griefing, I call being an amateur. Oo you corpse camped somebody, big effin deal. We have crushed players to the point they quit playing the game.

And what do the guys who created the game think of us?

THEY LOVE US! Our heist is constantly used by them as an example of what's possible in their game world. They contacted us directly to congratulate us on it, and ask us how it was done. They stood up for us among hundreds, if not thousands, of cries for CCP to outright ban us and return everything we stole.

They never did a thing. They flat out said they think what we accomplished was absolutely astounding, and the fact it was all done within the confines of the games rules made it that much more impressive to them.

The world needs more MMO's like Eve. Albeit more MMO's like Eve that don't have the unnecessarily high learning curve of Eve.


CSB, seriously. The link is blocked at work, but I think I read about this in a Cracked article. If I can find it, I'll link it.
 
2012-08-08 04:58:12 PM  

Lord_Dubu: Nick the What: I've noticed a lot of video game ideas start with a GTA sandbox theme.

Me too. I always thought GTA should be rebooted in the future and in the style of RoboCop.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution.

/it's even set in Detroit.


Man, that is not even a close comparison. Those games have completely different play styles and limits.

As a theme, you're close, but those games are divergent in play quite a bit.
 
2012-08-08 05:01:51 PM  

MoronLessOff: CSB, seriously. The link is blocked at work, but I think I read about this in a Cracked article. If I can find it, I'll link it.


Truth be told, we never intended for that to become as big as it was. We knew the target was one of the bigger corps in the game at the time, we were already being paid a nice billion ISK for the job. When we got to work, our goal at first was simple. Infiltrate, steal, kill. We thought we might get away with some high dollar BPOs, maybe a few assets. We had no idea how trusting these people would be. I mean in less than a year our main "spy" was second only to the CEO of the corp itself. We had NO CLUE he would climb through the ranks that quick.

When we finally started getting access to the corp assets, all of which UQS shared(stupidly....), we realized exactly what could be done here. It was that exact moment we all collectively went "holy shiat... we're going to be RICH!!!" Unfortunately I didn't get to take part in the ambush, that we accomplished while using the single most expensive and rare ship in the game(which we later blew up in front of the whole world live on EveTV).

I did, however, loot the shared corp hangers for the station I was assigned. In my massive freighter..

Which I actually named, true story, "5 Finger Discount."

People are so astoundingly stupid and overly trusting sometimes. It boggles the mind. Even after the fact we had no idea how big that job was going to get. Until PC Gamer started contacting us for interviews with the guys who pulled it off.
 
2012-08-08 05:11:01 PM  

MysticKakarrott: Almet: Multiplayers explosions boom boom melee could be the greatest thing ever, or get old quick.


I do like the upthread idea of a MMOFPS with one person that has an overwatch. The only problem would be the people who would completely ignore it and do their own thing because they have "l33t h3adsh0t sk1llz"

The game you're thinking of is Nuclear Dawn

Trouble is, nobody plays the damn thing.


Used to play it. Its pretty awesome, but for some reason, "something" changed and now my computer can't run it. Natural Selection was a blast too, if you could get a game that happened just right, to where one side doesn't crumble immediately, and the game doesn't last four hours.
 
2012-08-08 05:16:50 PM  
You know what I want to see? I want to see a jrpg like game, where instead of playing some spunky teenager whos got to rise to the challenge of destiny to save the world, you play as a spunky teenage who wants to overthrow the evil overlord and take his place.

Because if anyone is going to rule the world, it's gonna be you, damnit.

everything would be well, not as it seems. For example, the hyper sexy female companion is really shy, caring, feminine. Conversely, the girl next door is a yandere sociopath who's also the village bicycle.
 
2012-08-08 05:33:55 PM  

Myria: Wasn't Majora's Mask like Groundhog Day? Also, the Japanese PlayStation game Moon?


Yes, Majora's Mask has a three day cycle you repeat before the Moon crashes into Termina (hard as hell but good game nevertheless). As for Moon, I don't know since I have never seen or played it.
 
2012-08-08 05:34:48 PM  
Concerning number 6. I reminded me of this amazing game called Tecmo's Deception were you played the bad guy. It was HILARIOUS.
 
2012-08-08 05:38:11 PM  

Fano: Majora


I personally think Ocarina of Time is better, but Majora's Mask is not that far from it. MM is one fo the hardest games I played I beat.
 
2012-08-08 05:40:25 PM  
You Are the Monster: play Silent Hill 2 or Shadow of the Colossus.

Or read this (warning, tvtropes rabbit hole)
 
2012-08-08 05:47:20 PM  

Vaneshi: GRCooper: (they weren't jerks about it, and helped me develop the concept, which was accepted and developed into a 1000 page design doc, which was then rejected by our parent (EA)).

Feel for ya, but the big boys are really against new IP (for reasons we both know and understand), keep the doc somewhere, you never know you might end up going indie.


that doc will sit in limbo for eternity, owned by EA.
 
2012-08-08 05:50:27 PM  

KhamanV: MoronLessOff: KhamanV: #3 is any Lovecraft story ever with a little bit of Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem which is, let's face it, just Lovecraft in Gamecube drag.

Like Amnesia?

I keep forgetting about that game, mostly because I still have to wash the underwear load for the week and the washer is to small for me to be shiatting my way through a two week supply in a few hours.


I still haven't completed the demo.

/Scary story, bro.
 
2012-08-08 05:51:33 PM  

kdawg7736: Fano: Majora

I personally think Ocarina of Time is better, but Majora's Mask is not that far from it. MM is one fo the hardest games I played I beat.


Its really hard to compare the two of them. I wonder how people would feel if MM was released before OT. I prefer MM more just because of the story elements, but OT is easily the more epic and more accessible game.

Tyrone Slothrop: You Are the Monster: play Silent Hill 2 or Shadow of the Colossus.


My first thought was SotC too, but you only play as the monster for the tiniest bit. Demonic would have filled this desire but I think that game died production wise after being used in Grandma's Boy.
 
2012-08-08 05:52:56 PM  

DuudeStanky: As a professional snob-spotter, I feel like I should comment on this post. Mostly that it is extremely arrogant and narrow-sighted.
...

TLDR: You're so cynical towards others who express a desire to make something that they envision as fun. They all didn't go to the University of Phoenix and get their certificate in Video Game Design. They are gamers coming up with these ideas and they are very rough ideas, as ALL GAMES start out as. So dont shiat on them because they are doing what you do.


Whoa man, who pooped in your Cheerios this morning?

I know games start out as very rough concepts, that's how most ideas start. The point is, he didn't concept any game ideas, he concepted story and art ideas. That means a sentence or two about a mechanic or feature that is the core of the "game" part of your game.

Off the top of my head those short gameplay concepts would look something like this (I claim no guarantees for the actual quality of the ideas about to follow):

#1 Superhero Game: You play Iceman, you are weak in hand to hand combat but can create objects out of ice with physical properties. Walls block AI and projectiles, icicles can hurt enemies, frozen patches have low friction, etc. An enemy army is attacking the city and you must stop them by building clever traps that will destroy divert and destroy the attackers.

#2 Be the Monster: You play an Alien Queen. You spawn and control face-hugger aliens, your job is to carefully Shepard them to vulnerable victims under the watchful gaze of the colonial marines. Spreading across planets and then from one planet to another is key, the moment to moment stealth gameplay leads to the ultimate goal of complete infection of every planet in the galaxy.

#3 Dino-RTS: The hook here could be the way you build your units. Rather than clicking on a button on a building you instead carefully research and then crossbreed different strains of dinosaurs in order to create powerful and unique units.

#4 Groundhog Day: Admittedly a hard one, could go for a Source Code / LA Noir style game here. A bomb goes off that destroys a plane, killing everyone on board. You relive the last 10 minutes over and over again until you stop it. It is a "conversation" game where you must learn the personalities of the people around you and use that information to convince them help you find and disarm the bomb. Driving the gameplay is a revolutionary approach to NPC conversations using the latest Chat Bot technology.

#5 Fightin' Crazy: This is getting a bit exhasting. The gameplay of this one involves shifting into a "shadow" realm for a short period of time. You solve puzzles and battle shadows by moving between the two. In the shadow realm you must avoid the powerful shadow creatures, they can only be defeated by drawing them into the real world and then destroying them. First you must enter their world to find their weaknesses however. Admittedly this mechanic has been done to death.

#6 Everyone Is the Main Character: You build a city by creating and teaching AI to perform specific jobs. The AI learns by imitating the player's actions, and must be corrected when it makes mistakes by a reprimand and another demonstration.

#7 Explosions: The Game: An FPS battle arena where you score points by blasting your opponents through skee ball style goals scattered around the level. First to 100 wins.

Now, my ideas aren't great, but you see the difference between a game concept and a setting/art concept?
 
2012-08-08 05:57:49 PM  

roc6783: Don't most creative projects start as a concept with a rough sketch of things like settings, characters, or plots? I suppose a game idea could start with an objective to achieve.

I think you both are getting tripped up on the title since it would be more accurate as "7 videogame ideas that will never be made into actual games, discounting the ones that already have been, but were unpopular or poorly executed".

/also one of 'those asshole' people who plays games and especially enjoys fun ones


Well, there is no exact way, but the concepting usually starts with a mechanic or feature that would be interesting to use or play with. If someone has an idea for a setting/character/plot one of the first questions you ask is what do you DO there.

Concepts almost immediately become about actions.
 
2012-08-08 06:02:37 PM  

Tyrone Slothrop: You Are the Monster: play Silent Hill 2 or Shadow of the Colossus.

Or read this (warning, tvtropes rabbit hole)


Loved Shadow. The end was some what expected, just not to that extent.

Still haven't been able to finish Silent Hill 2. Scariest game I've ever played.
 
2012-08-08 06:06:59 PM  

Strategeryz0r: The idea that if Og is too big of a dick he gets exiled, very much rings true in Eve. You cannot be a very successful asshole if you're just being an asshole.


That's true, but it misses the point. I'm not talking from the n00b's perspective, but from the troll's -- yours. It doesn't take much time on the interwebs to notice that full-time douches are universally reviled. The question is, where do the trolls come from? There are no doubt some Farkers who are on everybody's Ignore list -- and even if they're not explicitly ignored, they're passively ignored via loss of credibility. The number, as a percentage, far outweigh what you see in real life -- hell, in some threads the number of trolls approaches 100%. There are assholes everywhere, but they typically know when to behave.

A dedicated 10-month infiltration (which in an accelerated game world compares to as much as a decade of dedication IRL) is extremely rare in real life because in almost all cases the social investment eventually outweighs the benefits of exploiting them. This is why real-life spies are very hard to find and retain; when you reach the point (5, 10, 20 years of living a false life) where you know your targets far more than anyone in your home country, the chances of defection become very high. During WW2, Germany's infiltration rate in Britain flatlined at 0% -- every single spy operating in the UK became a double agent. This is because humans are social animals that invest in their immediate surroundings; the more they do so, the harder it is to destroy. Prolonged detachment can result in suicidal depression. You were OK with being on everyone's shiat list because the glory of the stunt far outweighed the consequences. If all else fails, there's no sure way to stop you from just starting over. In real life it's the opposite -- when you willingly destroy a decade's worth of investing in society and building up credibility, you've basically set yourself back, well, a decade. Maybe more, as having 30 guys trying to kill you is not a thrill anyone wants in real life.

For all I know you're an OK guy in real life, but in Eve you are a monster because the game world allows you to turn off every hard-wired social inhibition -- shame, regret, guilt, etc. That's not a bad thing per se -- it is just a game -- but it's jarring enough that a lot of people can't make the adjustment. That doesn't make them n00bs; it just takes a particular mindset to enjoy Eve that limits its market (though kudos for cornering it) and in most cases game developers are eager to avoid. This is why the safe route in gaming is to just NPC anyone of value. While players are of utmost important to the business of on-line gaming, ironically, by design the players are the least important to the gaming world. When a player accepts a quest from an NPC King, who do you think is more important? If the player refuses or logs or whatever, the computerized King just recycles the dialogue for the next yutz who comes along. Without the NPC, there's no quest -- you just have a bunch of kids trying to off each other in PvP servers. The alternative is to hand the reigns to the players, but that invariably results in Eve -- and even Eve has some mercilessly enforced "safe" zones or the damn place would be chaos.

The issue I have with Eve, to be honest, is that if it's not confined by structure, it is by social behavior. You can do a lot but only in theory; it's an infamous graveyard for the naive. Hardened gamers scoff at that, but the market knows a lot of emotional rewards are tied to positive human emotions, which is why the most conventional RPG formula is giving players a social problem to solve -- an injustice to be righted, an enemy to be defeated, etc. When a game is run by psychotic behavior, yes, you can experience things you just can't in real life. But there is nothing positive to build either (TFA says the CEO you guys capped was as dirty as anyone in Eve), so unless you get your kicks watching the world burn, the game isn't fun. That doesn't make those who enjoy destroying imaginary worlds immoral, but the reason why Blizzard does things the way they do is to maintain a majority share of people whose expectation of gaming is based on more straightforward emotional rewards -- e.g., saving the world. In doing so, they have to tightly regulate the unhinged behavior, and Eve capitalizes by gobbling up the outcasts.
 
2012-08-08 06:17:44 PM  

GRCooper: Here's an example that, maybe, will get across the point Beta Tested and I were trying to make.

I was working on designing a game in 2006, the co-designer and I had the basic mechanic setup in Excel, and were playing against each other and having a blast.

We were having fun playing a spreadsheet.

Now, that game became a wild west shootout that was going to be part of an MMO, but the game would've worked just as well in a super hero game, a zombie card game, etc.

That's the difference between game setting and game design.

/again, wish my puter hadn't died, typing this on an iPhone suxxors


Yea, this is pretty much step 2 of every game concept for me. Basically, you should be able to make a card or board game out of the core of a game idea. If you can't make it into that then it probably is more like a story or setting.
 
2012-08-08 06:23:01 PM  

dragonchild: Strategeryz0r: The idea that if Og is too big of a dick he gets exiled, very much rings true in Eve. You cannot be a very successful asshole if you're just being an asshole.


My favorite line in the article summarizes that players hope that the purchaser of their services realizes the monster that he or she released. Reminded me of how the mob felt after they unleashed the Joker in Dark Knight. That level of fear and epicness is what I seek in a rpg.

dragonchild good post overall, but I get sick of those games that require me to simply do the right thing. However, when I play the rpgs that have a dark side option, I just feel like a dick f*ing over npcs. Something about rubbing dirt in the eye of someone online is relieving. I am a great sportsman at times online, but other times given John Gabriel's internet Dick Wad theory, I just want to do the most amount of damage.

/the culture of Eve is so unique. Kind of wish I played it.
 
2012-08-08 06:24:04 PM  

Strategeryz0r: MoronLessOff: CSB, seriously. The link is blocked at work, but I think I read about this in a Cracked article. If I can find it, I'll link it.

Truth be told, we never intended for that to become as big as it was. We knew the target was one of the bigger corps in the game at the time, we were already being paid a nice billion ISK for the job. When we got to work, our goal at first was simple. Infiltrate, steal, kill. We thought we might get away with some high dollar BPOs, maybe a few assets. We had no idea how trusting these people would be. I mean in less than a year our main "spy" was second only to the CEO of the corp itself. We had NO CLUE he would climb through the ranks that quick.

When we finally started getting access to the corp assets, all of which UQS shared(stupidly....), we realized exactly what could be done here. It was that exact moment we all collectively went "holy shiat... we're going to be RICH!!!" Unfortunately I didn't get to take part in the ambush, that we accomplished while using the single most expensive and rare ship in the game(which we later blew up in front of the whole world live on EveTV).

I did, however, loot the shared corp hangers for the station I was assigned. In my massive freighter..

Which I actually named, true story, "5 Finger Discount."

People are so astoundingly stupid and overly trusting sometimes. It boggles the mind. Even after the fact we had no idea how big that job was going to get. Until PC Gamer started contacting us for interviews with the guys who pulled it off.


So what was the aftermath of that? Were you guys hunted down, or were you able to pretty much get away with that? I imagine all of your characters had big bounties on your heads, so how did you guys do in the months after the big heist? Did it make your lives much more difficult, or were you so rich that nobody could really get to you?
 
2012-08-08 06:56:31 PM  
I really don't understand the complaint about the Infamous series in that article. In fact Infamous really IS about playing an underpowered superhero. I mean heck I can't count the number of times I died to just some random thugs.

There are specific exceptions of course (Like during a thunderstorm in the second game, that was pretty awesome and the one time during both games that I felt like an "Overpowered God-Man" ) but thats ok because it totally works in small doses. Most of the game you just feel like a regular dude who just has some neat abilities, but that doesn't mean a few guys with guns aren't gonna make you be careful.
 
2012-08-08 07:14:15 PM  

tchau: Concerning number 6. I reminded me of this amazing game called Tecmo's Deception were you played the bad guy. It was HILARIOUS.


These games were great. Have a castle, setup your traps through out the rooms and lure the saps into them. I always keep my eye out for a new Deception game.
 
2012-08-08 07:31:11 PM  

thecpt: I get sick of those games that require me to simply do the right thing. However, when I play the rpgs that have a dark side option, I just feel like a dick f*ing over npcs. Something about rubbing dirt in the eye of someone online is relieving.


I can understand that. The best RPGs I ever played all gave the player the choice to do good or evil, or at least do nothing. There's nothing more boring in an RPG than linearity.

Strangely enough, in the games that had an option to be evil, I tried it once for completeness, but on subsequent playthroughs I wore a halo on my head. I'm not fooled by the illusion of choice, but bizarrely, an actual choice gives me the full emotional reward even if my decisions are laughably predictable.

I know why developers make games linear, but it's one thing to predict behavior and another to restrict it.
 
2012-08-08 07:43:36 PM  
Quite a few of these ideas are available in the many games in following formats:

1. Indie top-down RPGs like those made by Spiderweb Software WHO ARE AWESOME GIVE THEM YOUR MONEY.

2. Indie 'text adventures' which are full of mind farks like finding out you're the monster / insane, time being messed with, perception being messed with...

Unfortunately most 'gamers' won't touch these things because they don't have shooting things, realistic sweat and blood, and explosions in 1320 colours.
 
2012-08-08 07:52:17 PM  
You forgot big bouncy tits if_i_really_have_to
 
2012-08-08 07:57:13 PM  
Who's got a worst case of nostalgia-induced amnesia: Videogame or...actually, you know what? I can't come up with any other enthusiast who even comes close...

/videogame enthusiast
//remembers Yo, Noid!
///there was no golden age
 
2012-08-08 08:00:06 PM  

Empty Matchbook: Who's got a worst case of nostalgia-induced amnesia: Videogame or...actually, you know what? I can't come up with any other enthusiast who even comes close...

/videogame enthusiast
//remembers Yo, Noid!
///there was no golden age


I loved Yo, Noid! I don't know why, but I did.
 
kab
2012-08-08 08:31:42 PM  

dragonchild: That's where Blizzard is stuck between a rock and a hard place. A sizeable minority of their paying customers are assholes, so finding a right balance between moderation and autonomy is a delicate dance that pleases no one.


Most companies are stuck in that same place. The main points I listed earlier in this thread really point to the idea that an MMO should theoretically be at it's most interesting when people are also given the most freedom to play a personality as they wish. And with that freedom you get unscripted events taking place, and the benefits actually outweigh the negatives. Trust and relations with other players start to become important (something that is all but gone in WoW, guilds become less relevant with every expansion).

What most games seem to not implement all that well is a quick and efficient justice system for wrongdoing, something far more player controlled than just reporting an individual for bad behavior. The lack of this sort of system leads to players who simply have zero tolerance or acceptance of the idea that something bad can happen to them due to the actions of another player. I've never played Eve (what I've seen of the gameplay seems completely unappealing to me), but I do respect the amount of leash players are given in it.
 
2012-08-08 08:34:43 PM  

dillengest: My idea: survival horror, but instead of fighting zombies you play (first-person) a visually impaired character navigating a normal city.


That's not scary.
 
kab
2012-08-08 08:40:56 PM  

Empty Matchbook: ///there was no golden age


Oh, I'd disagree with that.
 
2012-08-08 08:42:33 PM  

The Blind Fury: dillengest: My idea: survival horror, but instead of fighting zombies you play (first-person) a visually impaired character navigating a normal city.

That's not scary.


Maybe you didn't catch that.

HE SAID PLAYING A VISUALLY IMPAIRED CHARACTER NAVIGATING A NORMAL CITY.
 
2012-08-08 08:57:26 PM  
I want a game based around hunting down Bill Roper and the rest of the thieves from Flagship Studios and torturing them to death.

/Hellgate: London raped my gaming career
 
2012-08-08 09:52:43 PM  
Every single one of these ideas has been implemented in a game (including AquaMan), It's understandable that anyone would miss Chaos Island amongst the billions of Jurassic Park games, but not knowing about Majora's Mask is inexcusable if you're going to write about video games.
 
2012-08-08 10:14:29 PM  

Strategeryz0r: ShadowLAnCeR: Strategeryz0r: Trust me... I should know.

I only had like the second or third largest bounty in the entire game on my head at one point...

I think either you personally or at least your corp blew the everliving crap out of my 'geddon at one point.

Thanks for that. Jerk.

\Had insurance on it
\\brofist

Hey at least it was insured! hehe.

Did you see the EveTV broadcast where one of our guys, using an alt account, took one of the 2 Imperial Impocs in the game(both of which we owned at the time) outfitted with nothing but mining lasers into combat in the yearly pvp tournament?

We did that to simply throw the match and not have to face BoB in the next round. At that point all of us were so absurdly rich and uncaring about rare items, that we thought it would be hysterical to blow up a ship people would give their left nut to own live on a worldwide streaming broadcast.

The hate mail was glorious when people started figuring out who that alt belonged to.



I can't resist. I am only saying this because it is funny, but I do have to ask...With the things that you have talked about in this thread, I believe it is a safe assumption to say that you have never "been intimate" with woman in your life, have you?

/again, j/k, but come on, that is some REALLY dorky stuff, heh heh
 
2012-08-08 10:24:12 PM  

Antimatter: You know what I want to see? I want to see a jrpg like game, where instead of playing some spunky teenager whos got to rise to the challenge of destiny to save the world, you play as a spunky teenage who wants to overthrow the evil overlord and take his place.

Because if anyone is going to rule the world, it's gonna be you, damnit.

everything would be well, not as it seems. For example, the hyper sexy female companion is really shy, caring, feminine. Conversely, the girl next door is a yandere sociopath who's also the village bicycle.


Dood, that's pretty much an exact description of Disgaea. Also: equippable horse wiener.
 
2012-08-08 10:41:21 PM  
I have so many ideas that I wish would get made, some I'm working on/some I will be working on smaller apps/tablet games, but there's some that are just too big for a single person to make or I don't have the time.

1) A massive multiplayer game where instead of building a character and moving up levels, you build an army and grow that army. You can manage it as generic as you want or down to individual troops. Kind of like a mix of heroes of might and magic and total war as an MMO with an evolving world where your army can affect resources and territory, join factions, etc.

2) This one is technologically more complicated, but I think we're close. I remember watching Star Trek as a kid and the thing that impressed me more wasn't the holodeck (though that's amazing) but when Geordie tells the computer "create a story in the Holmesian style with a villain able to beat Data". I would love to see an engine that combines story pieces to make a random story, a mystery where you have to solve clues and catch the killer, but you wouldn't be able to turn to the internet for walkthroughs because the story is unique to your playthrough.

3) An augmented reality ghost hunter game for iOS or android. Using your camera as a viewfinder, Ghosts creep up from around corners all around you and you need to capture them, some are skittish, some you need to tag multiple times. It would be even more complicated, but with GPS and compass or wifi triangulation you could make it multi player and need multiple hunters to trap ghosts, don't cross the streams.
 
2012-08-08 11:18:33 PM  

kab: Empty Matchbook: ///there was no golden age

Oh, I'd disagree with that.


I guess I more mean that there wasn't an age where all, or even most, of the games coming out were these stellar, flawless masterpieces. The reverence held for games of the late 90s/early 00s is baffling to me because for every MGS, Half Life or Baldur's Gate 2, there were ten Shogos or Onis.

/and seriously, Baldur's Gate 1 has aged ATROCIOUSLY
//2 is redeemed by amazing writing/characters.
///if you were thinking a different era, expound.
 
2012-08-08 11:59:32 PM  

Almet: Multiplayers explosions boom boom melee could be the greatest thing ever, or get old quick.


I do like the upthread idea of a MMOFPS with one person that has an overwatch. The only problem would be the people who would completely ignore it and do their own thing because they have "l33t h3adsh0t sk1llz"


check out Zombie Master. One player controls zombie hordes and everyone else has to try and get by his/her deadly traps and zombie spawns.
 
2012-08-09 12:22:34 AM  
I want a new Road Rash, a new Parasite Eve, and Dino Crisis 3.

Oh, and the Day Z mod with a few edits and a lot of polish. Servers should start with a bunch of living NPCs and have the zombies break out among them. Also, many more vehicles, weapons, and items. I want climbing ropes and grappling hooks, booby traps of all kinds, camouflage setups and tents. Et Cetera.
 
2012-08-09 12:29:26 AM  

Mentalpatient87:

Oh, and the Day Z mod with a few edits and a lot of polish. Servers should start with a bunch of living NPCs and have the zombies break out among them. Also, many more vehicles, weapons, and items. I want climbing ropes and grappling hooks, booby traps of all kinds, camouflage setups and tents. Et Cetera.


Merry Christmas!
 
BHK
2012-08-09 12:39:09 AM  
Someday, someone will do a remake of Crush, Crumble, Chomp
 
2012-08-09 01:03:43 AM  

thesloppy: Merry Christmas!


I saw that. I'm kinda going to hold off on buying it until they have a model working. The videos of the game entrance me well enough. I can't wait to see what will happen when they iron out all the lag, make the animations smoother, and start adding in new content. If they could add in some form of construction, beyond sandbag walls... I want to fortify structures, or build them from the ground up. I want to live in a self-made apartment under a bridge, demanding toll from people who try to cross! And lastly I want the ability to capture and strategically place zombies as traps. Perhaps one could fill a cargo container with them and dump them over your castle walls like so much hot tar.
 
2012-08-09 02:46:50 AM  

TheBlackrose: Myria: Wasn't Majora's Mask like Groundhog Day?

Pretty much.


Way of the Samurai.


In fact, a lot of those games that Cracked is wanting have been made. Just not recently.
 
2012-08-09 03:17:33 AM  

MoronLessOff: The Blind Fury: dillengest: My idea: survival horror, but instead of fighting zombies you play (first-person) a visually impaired character navigating a normal city.

That's not scary.

Maybe you didn't catch that.

HE SAID PLAYING A VISUALLY IMPAIRED CHARACTER NAVIGATING A NORMAL CITY.


I know what he said. Still not scary.
 
2012-08-09 07:44:56 AM  

MugzyBrown: spoony_pandora: The strategy player can use the tablet to position various traps and place minions throughout the base. To make up for the FPS player becoming stronger, they have access to powers triggered by the time of the doomsday device which allow them to spawn reinforcements, place additional traps or summon a miniboss henchmen.

Reminds me of spy vs spy for.. I believe c64. It's not too similar, but just jogged the memory


Spy vs Spy was just released for iOS complete with retro mode graphics.
 
kab
2012-08-09 08:51:16 AM  

Empty Matchbook: I guess I more mean that there wasn't an age where all, or even most, of the games coming out were these stellar, flawless masterpieces. The reverence held for games of the late 90s/early 00s is baffling to me because for every MGS, Half Life or Baldur's Gate 2, there were ten Shogos or Onis.


I'd agree with that, but having bad games outnumber really good ones is pretty much a given.. I think of 'golden age' as more along the lines of devs making games with the idea that communities would be built around the longevity of that title, rather than purposefully limiting things and trying to milk customers for DLC at every turn.

"Here's our game, here are the tools to create your own content and mods, and here's how you can host your own multiplayer sessions. Oh, and if we release new content aside from patches, it will be free, or an actual xpac that is worth the extra bucks". - there was a period of time that this was somewhat of a typical approach in the PC world, and it's very much the exception today.
 
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