Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Telegram)   Massachusetts' largest white oak killed. Police are rounding up all the black oaks in the area   (telegram.com) divider line 74
    More: Sad, Massachusetts, Central Massachusetts, Shel Silverstein, Bridge Road  
•       •       •

6264 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Aug 2012 at 3:28 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



74 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-08-08 12:31:50 PM  
KNOWN GANG MEMBER WANTED FOR QUESTIONING
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-08-08 01:23:25 PM  
Did the tree listen to a lot of Kenny G, wear polo shirts with tiny alligators on them, really like mayonaisse?
 
2012-08-08 01:24:38 PM  
i.imgur.com

Probably should have focused on the Maples instead.
 
2012-08-08 01:32:50 PM  
This was obviously suicide. If I lived in massachusetts and had no hope of ever leaving, I'd probably kill myself, too.
 
2012-08-08 02:02:48 PM  
Life's a birch.
 
2012-08-08 02:12:05 PM  

Somacandra: [i.imgur.com image 250x250]

Probably should have focused on the Maples instead.

 
2012-08-08 03:14:33 PM  
That pi$$es me off! I grew up in a rural area with miles and miles of wild woods to play in and explore.

I had secret spots and favorite trees and areas where you could just sit in the shade and enjoy the quiet while the summer winds whispered through the tree branches and rustled the underbrush.

Then folks started moving in and turning nice thickets into dirt bike tracks, leaving beer cans around, hacking out trails, scattering trash and bulldozing lots bare. A little hill I liked had a big Oak right on top of it, and folks started showing up, digging out the sides of the hill for dirt for fill. Others turned a nature path along a canal into a dirt road for their cars and ATV's and some moron set a fire to a section that burned down about 10 acres.

Shortly after, another moron set a fire in a nice thicket of wild woods on my own block and burned up two acres.

If you have something precious in your town, GUARD IT. If not, some jackass will f**k it up for everyone and think it's funny.

One time I dredged 8 bicycles out of a canal and turned them over to the cops. The only reason I could think of for their being there was that kids dumped them, to have their parents buy them newer ones. I doubt if a thief would go through all of the trouble of stealing them just to throw them in a ditch.
 
2012-08-08 03:15:39 PM  
If he had a CC he could have stood his ground
 
2012-08-08 03:28:09 PM  
Jim Dandy to the rescue!
 
2012-08-08 03:31:08 PM  
Are the police stumped?
No but the victim is.
 
2012-08-08 03:31:38 PM  

cretinbob: If he had a CC he could have stood his ground


You mean if he knew when to use his f*cking CC, he could have stood his ground.
 
2012-08-08 03:31:44 PM  

Rik01: That pi$$es me off! I grew up in a rural area with miles and miles of wild woods to play in and explore.

I had secret spots and favorite trees and areas where you could just sit in the shade and enjoy the quiet while the summer winds whispered through the tree branches and rustled the underbrush.

Then folks started moving in and turning nice thickets into dirt bike tracks, leaving beer cans around, hacking out trails, scattering trash and bulldozing lots bare. A little hill I liked had a big Oak right on top of it, and folks started showing up, digging out the sides of the hill for dirt for fill. Others turned a nature path along a canal into a dirt road for their cars and ATV's and some moron set a fire to a section that burned down about 10 acres.

Shortly after, another moron set a fire in a nice thicket of wild woods on my own block and burned up two acres.

If you have something precious in your town, GUARD IT. If not, some jackass will f**k it up for everyone and think it's funny.

One time I dredged 8 bicycles out of a canal and turned them over to the cops. The only reason I could think of for their being there was that kids dumped them, to have their parents buy them newer ones. I doubt if a thief would go through all of the trouble of stealing them just to throw them in a ditch.


Way to make it about you.
 
2012-08-08 03:32:02 PM  
Was it a white supremacist oak?
 
2012-08-08 03:34:25 PM  
Screaming Trees could be heard in the backround
 
2012-08-08 03:35:39 PM  
Are the Silmarils safe?
 
2012-08-08 03:36:00 PM  
Are there any blacks in Massachusetts?
 
2012-08-08 03:37:50 PM  

bhcompy: Are there any blacks in Massachusetts?


i.imgur.com
 
2012-08-08 03:37:58 PM  
Mitt Romeny, did you burn down the White Oak tree?

I cannot tell a lie. Yes. I did burn down the White Oak Tree.

You're under arrest for Arson! Come with us to rich people jail!

That's not the way my handlers said this would go! I can't go to rich people prison! Their golf courses are predictable and full of low level bankers who can't wrangle medical prison.
 
2012-08-08 03:42:11 PM  
+1, subby. HOTY material..
 
2012-08-08 03:43:38 PM  

bhcompy: Are there any blacks in Massachusetts?


There are at least 27 black people JUST IN BOSTON ALONE!
 
2012-08-08 03:44:35 PM  

Fo Shiz: KNOWN GANG MEMBER WANTED FOR QUESTIONING
[upload.wikimedia.org image 450x600]


The Larch?
 
2012-08-08 03:44:57 PM  

Fano: Are the Silmarils safe?



No, but police have taken one flower and one fruit into evidence.
 
2012-08-08 03:45:49 PM  
www.vinylsurrender.com
 
2012-08-08 03:48:32 PM  
Time to start rousting up the Spanish Oaks on the corners, too
 
2012-08-08 03:49:12 PM  
Massholes.
 
2012-08-08 03:49:53 PM  

Lucky LaRue: This was obviously suicide. If I lived in massachusetts and had no hope of ever leaving, I'd probably kill myself, too.


I love MA. Especially the women; if I do a double-take anywhere on the East Coast, 7 out of 10 times she turns out to be from Mass. If it wasn't for the cold weather, I'd be living there.

/because Baltimore weather is SO much better
 
2012-08-08 03:51:49 PM  
If you are worried about the cops finding out who you are if you snitch on the people who did this, you can just contact me.
I promise you, the cops will never know.
 
2012-08-08 03:52:53 PM  

brimed03: Lucky LaRue: This was obviously suicide. If I lived in massachusetts and had no hope of ever leaving, I'd probably kill myself, too.

I love MA. Especially the women; if I do a double-take anywhere on the East Coast, 7 out of 10 times she turns out to be from Mass. If it wasn't for the cold weather, I'd be living there.

/because Baltimore weather is SO much better


Sounds like you're into fat, pasty, alcoholic retards.

There's a fetish for everything I guess.
 
2012-08-08 03:53:51 PM  
They might take a look in Arkansas.
 
2012-08-08 03:56:50 PM  
i582.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-08 03:58:33 PM  

Somacandra: [i.imgur.com image 250x250]

Probably should have focused on the Maples instead.


That was one of Rush's most poplar albums.
 
2012-08-08 03:58:48 PM  
Damn, where we gonna find another tree?
 
2012-08-08 04:00:36 PM  
Must be suicide. It fell onto a running chainsaw three times.
 
2012-08-08 04:00:38 PM  
journeytothesea.com
 
2012-08-08 04:05:22 PM  
Residents should call for a complete investigation. I know I wood.
 
2012-08-08 04:16:44 PM  

Rik01: I doubt if a thief would go through all of the trouble of stealing them just to throw them in a ditch.


They would. A common thing in Glendale AZ back in the 70s. Steal it, use it, dump the evidence when you're done with it, steal when the need arises again.

/lost many bikes to those asshats.
 
2012-08-08 04:19:31 PM  

brimed03: Lucky LaRue: This was obviously suicide. If I lived in massachusetts and had no hope of ever leaving, I'd probably kill myself, too.

I love MA. Especially the women;


ah massachussettes women, I remember them like highschool was just yesterday.
average to hideous.

cache.milesplit.com

 
2012-08-08 04:25:29 PM  

Rik01: That pi$$es me off! I grew up in a rural area with miles and miles of wild woods to play in and explore.

I had secret spots and favorite trees and areas where you could just sit in the shade and enjoy the quiet while the summer winds whispered through the tree branches and rustled the underbrush.

Then folks started moving in and turning nice thickets into dirt bike tracks, leaving beer cans around, hacking out trails, scattering trash and bulldozing lots bare. A little hill I liked had a big Oak right on top of it, and folks started showing up, digging out the sides of the hill for dirt for fill. Others turned a nature path along a canal into a dirt road for their cars and ATV's and some moron set a fire to a section that burned down about 10 acres.

Shortly after, another moron set a fire in a nice thicket of wild woods on my own block and burned up two acres.

If you have something precious in your town, GUARD IT. If not, some jackass will f**k it up for everyone and think it's funny..


Let's take all the trees, and put 'em in a tree museum.
 
2012-08-08 04:26:46 PM  

Wise_Guy: Sounds like you're into fat, pasty, alcoholic retards.



We may be pasty and alcoholic, but Massachusetts is the third thinnest state in the country.
 
2012-08-08 04:28:45 PM  

relcec: ah massachussettes women, I remember them like highschool was just yesterday.
average to hideous.


"English Pretty" colonized our state almost 400 years ago and refuses to leave.
 
2012-08-08 04:31:42 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: Mitt Romeny, did you burn down the White Oak tree?

I cannot tell a lie. Yes. I did burn down the White Oak Tree.

You're under arrest for Arson! Come with us to rich people jail!

That's not the way my handlers said this would go! I can't go to rich people prison! Their golf courses are predictable and full of low level bankers who can't wrangle medical prison.


Laugh if you will, but why won't Mitt Romney release the records showing where he was for the entire period of time when the arson might have occurred?
 
2012-08-08 04:33:45 PM  

relcec: brimed03: Lucky LaRue: This was obviously suicide. If I lived in massachusetts and had no hope of ever leaving, I'd probably kill myself, too.

I love MA. Especially the women;


ah massachussettes women, I remember them like highschool was just yesterday.
average to hideous.

[cache.milesplit.com image 640x434]


Funny, that's not a pic of Aly Raisman.
 
2012-08-08 04:34:07 PM  

Cubicle Jockey: We may be pasty and alcoholic, but Massachusetts is the third thinnest state in the country.


Of course you are. Is it any wonder that all the thinnest states are also the ones whose governments siphon off the most from the top. You might be thin, but your state's professional recipients are fat.
 
2012-08-08 04:39:47 PM  
That racist overtone stings subby. You have to remember, a black guy ended our hockey season...OUR...HOCKEY...SEASON!
Maybe the tree can be revived by a New Braintree surgeon.

/there, a little sporty Bruins and Jimy Williams humor for everyone.
//native Masshole
///notice from relcec's pic: Chaka girl comes from Nashoba. Nashoba is the Land of the Lost.
The better of the bunch comes from Wellesley but still feels shame because despite being from Wellesley, her parents made her go to a public school.
The thing that's winning goes to Archbishop Williams (private school for weird looking South Shore people),
and the girl from Peabody is so messed up she wishes she was from Lynn. They all do.
In their defense, this is the Massachusetts alternative to the Steeplechase: The Uglystick Chase. Twice per lap they are severely beaten about the face with a Louisville Slugger, except the person in last place. She is beaten by a Louisville Slugger with nails in it.
I'm here all night in case anyone wants me to generalize the bad characteristics of local Massachusetts towns.
 
2012-08-08 04:40:58 PM  
'Beneath the roof of sleeping... leaves and dreams of trees untold, When woodland halls are... green... and cool, and the wind is in the west, Come back to me... Come... back... to me, And say my land is... best.'

Goodnight, Funny Tree
 
2012-08-08 04:42:31 PM  
Rik01: Let's take all the trees, and put 'em in a tree museum.

Sadly, that's what might be required to keep asshats from doing things like this.

/This is why we can't have nice things.
 
2012-08-08 04:48:05 PM  
Gov Romney killed this tree by cutting funds for municipal parks & rec spending during his term. This tree could have been saved.
 
2012-08-08 05:01:46 PM  

Oznog: Rik01: That pi$$es me off! I grew up in a rural area with miles and miles of wild woods to play in and explore.

I had secret spots and favorite trees and areas where you could just sit in the shade and enjoy the quiet while the summer winds whispered through the tree branches and rustled the underbrush.

Then folks started moving in and turning nice thickets into dirt bike tracks, leaving beer cans around, hacking out trails, scattering trash and bulldozing lots bare. A little hill I liked had a big Oak right on top of it, and folks started showing up, digging out the sides of the hill for dirt for fill. Others turned a nature path along a canal into a dirt road for their cars and ATV's and some moron set a fire to a section that burned down about 10 acres.

Shortly after, another moron set a fire in a nice thicket of wild woods on my own block and burned up two acres.

If you have something precious in your town, GUARD IT. If not, some jackass will f**k it up for everyone and think it's funny..

Let's take all the trees, and put 'em in a tree museum.


And charge the people a dollar and half to see 'em.
 
2012-08-08 05:02:08 PM  

Jekylman: Gov Romney killed this tree by cutting funds for municipal parks & rec spending during his term. This tree could have been saved.


The tree is on private property you farking moron!
 
2012-08-08 05:04:57 PM  
They really need to get to the root of the problem.
 
2012-08-08 05:10:57 PM  

bhcompy: Are there any blacks in Massachusetts?


thats_the_oak.jpg
 
2012-08-08 05:22:04 PM  
According to this 2006 list of maximum tree heights in Massachusetts, it wasn't the biggest white oak of Massachusetts. There's a 115 footer in Stockbridge.

// Tie a yellow ribbon around it and all that.
 
2012-08-08 05:37:21 PM  

phunkey_monkey: Jekylman: Gov Romney killed this tree by cutting funds for municipal parks & rec spending during his term. This tree could have been saved.

The tree is on private property you farking moron!


Your sarcasm meter must be in need of a tuneup.
 
2012-08-08 05:42:54 PM  
If a white oak tree falls down in the woods because it was burned by a black oak tree, where will the lynch mob hang it?


/i feel dirty
 
2012-08-08 05:49:34 PM  

brimed03: Lucky LaRue: This was obviously suicide. If I lived in massachusetts and had no hope of ever leaving, I'd probably kill myself, too.

I love MA. Especially the women; if I do a double-take anywhere on the East Coast, 7 out of 10 times she turns out to be from Mass. If it wasn't for the cold weather, I'd be living there.

/because Baltimore weather is SO much better


?????

So what part of mass are you from?

Seriously, ever been to nyc? Or any beach in florida?
 
2012-08-08 06:06:49 PM  

mutterfark: They might take a look in Arkansas.


That would have been so much funnier
 
2012-08-08 06:17:19 PM  

Rik01: If you have something precious in your town, GUARD IT. If not, some jackass will f**k it up for everyone and think it's funny.


We call those jackasses Developers.
 
2012-08-08 06:20:01 PM  

Basily Gourt: brimed03: Lucky LaRue: This was obviously suicide. If I lived in massachusetts and had no hope of ever leaving, I'd probably kill myself, too.

I love MA. Especially the women; if I do a double-take anywhere on the East Coast, 7 out of 10 times she turns out to be from Mass. If it wasn't for the cold weather, I'd be living there.

/because Baltimore weather is SO much better

?????

So what part of mass are you from?

Seriously, ever been to nyc? Or any beach in florida?


Basily makes a fine point. NYC is home to some fine female forms. I especially like the uber wealthy biatches that wear real designer clothing, they look like runway models that escaped. there is also an excellent mix of women from everywhere in the world in NYC. it's like a farking smorgasbord.
 
2012-08-08 06:20:46 PM  
Whole lot of Mass haters in here.

I guess when your state leads the country in education1, health2, and sports awesomeness (birthplace of basketball3 and volleyball4!), people are going to get SO JEALOUS that they start complaining during a discussion about a tree.

/go Pats!

1: Link
2: Link
3: Link
4: Link
 
2012-08-08 06:30:22 PM  

brimed03: /because Baltimore weather is SO much better


The good thing about Bawlmer weather is that if you don't like it, you just wait 5 minutes and it will change.

/how bout dem owz, hon?
 
2012-08-08 07:00:04 PM  

notmtwain: According to this 2006 list of maximum tree heights in Massachusetts, it wasn't the biggest white oak of Massachusetts. There's a 115 footer in Stockbridge.

// Tie a yellow ribbon around it and all that.


Hmm, I should have mine measured, the bigger one is probably over 100' tall and over 8' across at the base. I know the previous owner had a core taken and it's older than the US =)

/the big white oaks were about 50% of why I bought my house.
 
2012-08-08 07:09:11 PM  
lh4.googleusercontent.com

On the case.
 
2012-08-08 07:29:03 PM  

Fano: Are the Silmarils safe?


No, but I hear Isengard is stocking up on flamethrowers.
 
2012-08-08 07:45:15 PM  
FTA:When its trunk, hollowed by age, gave way, the 100-foot canopy fell to the ground, branches spread out around a charred center. "It was intentionally set," Fire Chief Dennis Letendre said. "I think people were up there partying. They probably had a fire going inside the tree and they left it. Thankfully, it went out by itself."
...
Octavia Taylor wants to believe that lightning took down the tree, but the fire chief said that's been ruled out as far as he's concerned.

The trash inside the tree, a glass bottle, melted from the heat and other evidence he won't discuss make him believe the fire was no accident.


Does Fire Chief = Fire scene investigator ? If not I'll assume it was lightning until such a specialist says otherwise. I admit that it is possible that the Fire Chief has the qualifications but the story does not say. Garbage in the hollow tree does not mean anything, lots people throw garbage in holes.
 
2012-08-08 07:52:46 PM  
Trees are Dying video right here

http://vimeo.com/27692551
 
2012-08-08 08:01:56 PM  

Fano: Are the Silmarils safe?


no some ass hat and an outsized spider made off with them.
 
2012-08-08 08:04:29 PM  

talkertopc: FTA:When its trunk, hollowed by age, gave way, the 100-foot canopy fell to the ground, branches spread out around a charred center. "It was intentionally set," Fire Chief Dennis Letendre said. "I think people were up there partying. They probably had a fire going inside the tree and they left it. Thankfully, it went out by itself."
...
Octavia Taylor wants to believe that lightning took down the tree, but the fire chief said that's been ruled out as far as he's concerned.

The trash inside the tree, a glass bottle, melted from the heat and other evidence he won't discuss make him believe the fire was no accident.

Does Fire Chief = Fire scene investigator ? If not I'll assume it was lightning until such a specialist says otherwise. I admit that it is possible that the Fire Chief has the qualifications but the story does not say. Garbage in the hollow tree does not mean anything, lots people throw garbage in holes.


Why do you need such concrete proof of the Chief's qualifications? A fire chief usually is the local fire scene investigator. Do you honestly think every department has CSI on retainer? Is that how cynical and skeptical we've become, that only some fool with an ultraviolet flashlight and a DNA kit is qualified to make a common-sense deduction?
 
2012-08-08 10:33:50 PM  

clyph: brimed03: /because Baltimore weather is SO much better

The good thing about Bawlmer weather is that if you don't like it, you just wait 5 minutes and it will change.

/how bout dem owz, hon?


This.

Bahston has Bawlmer beat on public transport though. T > Loot Rail and subway. Pathetic really.
 
2012-08-09 04:15:44 AM  

PhiloeBedoe: Somacandra: [i.imgur.com image 250x250]

Probably should have focused on the Maples instead.


Yeah, I thought I'd see you in this one.
/and for this reason
 
2012-08-09 07:01:17 AM  

robodog: notmtwain: According to this 2006 list of maximum tree heights in Massachusetts, it wasn't the biggest white oak of Massachusetts. There's a 115 footer in Stockbridge.

// Tie a yellow ribbon around it and all that.

Hmm, I should have mine measured, the bigger one is probably over 100' tall and over 8' across at the base. I know the previous owner had a core taken and it's older than the US =)

/the big white oaks were about 50% of why I bought my house.


Cool. Just don't do any more trunk boring. Good way to introduce and/or spread diseases, fungus, rot, etc. Although white oak is exceptionally rot resistant, thankfully.
 
2012-08-09 07:05:43 AM  

notmtwain: According to this 2006 list of maximum tree heights in Massachusetts, it wasn't the biggest white oak of Massachusetts. There's a 115 footer in Stockbridge.

// Tie a yellow ribbon around it and all that.


It might be that they do champion status/size by estimated volume instead of just height. Height/trunk dia ratio can vary tremendously depending on site conditions.
 
2012-08-09 08:45:10 AM  
Ok... so i make a joke about coloreds and my post gets deleted.. but this gets green lighted? I mean don't get me wrong... i LOVE this headline... but when statistics show that the majority of crime is cause by the blacks, i shouldn't get censored for saying it.. Mean mods:(

BTW... do black oaks lower soil value when they sprout?

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-08-09 09:38:47 AM  

Rik01: That pi$$es me off! I grew up in a rural area with miles and miles of wild woods to play in and explore.

I had secret spots and favorite trees and areas where you could just sit in the shade and enjoy the quiet while the summer winds whispered through the tree branches and rustled the underbrush.

Then folks started moving in and turning nice thickets into dirt bike tracks, leaving beer cans around, hacking out trails, scattering trash and bulldozing lots bare. A little hill I liked had a big Oak right on top of it, and folks started showing up, digging out the sides of the hill for dirt for fill. Others turned a nature path along a canal into a dirt road for their cars and ATV's and some moron set a fire to a section that burned down about 10 acres.

Shortly after, another moron set a fire in a nice thicket of wild woods on my own block and burned up two acres.

If you have something precious in your town, GUARD IT. If not, some jackass will f**k it up for everyone and think it's funny.

One time I dredged 8 bicycles out of a canal and turned them over to the cops. The only reason I could think of for their being there was that kids dumped them, to have their parents buy them newer ones. I doubt if a thief would go through all of the trouble of stealing them just to throw them in a ditch.


You said it man. I hate seeing what our forests in Delaware turned into. They bulldozed everything. I feel like I lost my childhood.
 
2012-08-09 10:26:26 AM  

Nana's Vibrator: That racist overtone stings subby. You have to remember, a black guy ended our hockey season...OUR...HOCKEY...SEASON!
Maybe the tree can be revived by a New Braintree surgeon.

/there, a little sporty Bruins and Jimy Williams humor for everyone.
//native Masshole
///notice from relcec's pic: Chaka girl comes from Nashoba. Nashoba is the Land of the Lost.
The better of the bunch comes from Wellesley but still feels shame because despite being from Wellesley, her parents made her go to a public school.
The thing that's winning goes to Archbishop Williams (private school for weird looking South Shore people),
and the girl from Peabody is so messed up she wishes she was from Lynn. They all do.
In their defense, this is the Massachusetts alternative to the Steeplechase: The Uglystick Chase. Twice per lap they are severely beaten about the face with a Louisville Slugger, except the person in last place. She is beaten by a Louisville Slugger with nails in it.
I'm here all night in case anyone wants me to generalize the bad characteristics of local Massachusetts towns.



This is a great post right here.
 
Displayed 74 of 74 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report