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(Huffington Post)   The thing about burglars is that it's difficult to know what they're going to do next. Sometimes they steal your electronics, other times it's your art. And sometimes they break in to perform oral sex on you while you sleep   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 34
    More: Weird, John O'Connor, The Patriot-News, Pennsylvania, wet dreams, WHP-TV  
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17588 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Aug 2012 at 10:12 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-08-08 10:29:27 AM
3 votes:

Terrydatroll: This is a perfect example of how gay marriage could help society. He could marry another guy and adopt a child, keeping all of this sexual deviance within the happy home.


Not all gay men are rapists or child molesters. Just like not all straight men are rapists or child molesters.
Most adults want consensual relationships with other adults.
This is not a gay problem. This is a crazy-person problem. It isn't the same thing.

/Repeat as necessary until it sinks in.
2012-08-08 10:26:30 AM
3 votes:
johndalek

why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?

Women only give head for 2 reasons. Either you have money or she is fat and hungry.
2012-08-08 10:00:17 AM
3 votes:
Once again I feel compelled to point out that there are plenty of willing men whose dicks you can suck. No reason to get all rapey and feloney.
2012-08-08 09:57:00 AM
3 votes:
i.huffpost.com

Somebody was on the down low.
2012-08-08 10:17:10 AM
2 votes:
What's worse than a burglar? A burglar that thinks porno plots are real, especially gay porno plots.
2012-08-08 10:00:47 AM
2 votes:
That's called rape, not burglary.
2012-08-08 11:36:53 AM
1 votes:

EZ Writer: You're not wrong, but deviate is most commonly used as a verb.


Uncommon usage doesn't make it incorrect. Apparently they used it in the statute.

meanmutton: No, it's "deviate" --


Thank you.
2012-08-08 11:23:11 AM
1 votes:

MagSeven: Full Blown Jimbo: JackieRabbit: Full Blown Jimbo: Diogenes: Full Blown Jimbo: "Porter was charged with three counts of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse"

That's gonna look good on the old resume.

"deviate"? That looks wrong.

If there's anything more deviate than breaking into a guy's apartment and sucking on his wang, I don't wanna know about it.

The word you are looking for and that the reporter couldn't find is deviant. Both words have essentially the same meaning, though deviant is more commonly used to describe behaviors. In the homophobic sense, it has long been used to describe homosexuals.

Beg to differ. From dictionary.com:

deviate-

adjective
5.
characterized by deviation or departure from an accepted norm or standard, as of behavior.

I thought a deviant was someone who practices deviancy. That is, behavior that deviates from the accepted norm.


Deviant is both a noun and an adjective. Deviate is both a verb and an adjective. If anyone knows how to describe a freak, its me.
2012-08-08 11:19:10 AM
1 votes:
I'm not even sure how this guys isn't dead already or seriously hurt.. I can't say how one man awaking to another performing an 'unwelcome' sex act on him does not result in some serious injury between reporting the crime and the guy trying to get out of dodge.
2012-08-08 11:16:31 AM
1 votes:

MagSeven: Diogenes: padraig: The thing that this article left out was : did any of the victim let him finish ?

We can only wonder. But I like the phrasing they used in the article.

"He too allegedly stopped the suspect immediately, according to police."

I like how they made that clear to the police.
"NO!!! I STOPPED HIM right after I finished IMMEDIATELY!!!!!


I get the humor of this. Really, I do. But I'm wondering how many people really actually think someone's reaction to awakening groggily to a barely acquainted man sucking on your penis would be "ok, this feels nice". As opposed to "WTFingFingF!"
2012-08-08 11:10:23 AM
1 votes:
Once in high school on a debate trip one of my friends woke up to another guy who had crawled up on his bed and had his face right in his crotch. He immediately punched him. The subject was never broached again and the weiner approaching guy stayed in the closet throughout high school.

///Found out at 20th reunion he remained closeted (or else he just wanted the penis that one and only time; who knows) and married a girl and had two kids. They were ages 3 and six weeks old when a girl talking on her cell phone ran a red light and hit his Jeep. According to witnesses the impact did not kill him, it was the gasoline fire that caused his writhing screaming demise.

Cell phone girl faced no charges. Kids are impoverished.

///Least cool story ever bro. Had nightmares.

Only bad thing the guy ever did was try to suck one sleeping guys penis. And he got punched in the face for it so he was square on that deal.
2012-08-08 11:09:56 AM
1 votes:

Full Blown Jimbo: JackieRabbit: Full Blown Jimbo: Diogenes: Full Blown Jimbo: "Porter was charged with three counts of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse"

That's gonna look good on the old resume.

"deviate"? That looks wrong.

If there's anything more deviate than breaking into a guy's apartment and sucking on his wang, I don't wanna know about it.

The word you are looking for and that the reporter couldn't find is deviant. Both words have essentially the same meaning, though deviant is more commonly used to describe behaviors. In the homophobic sense, it has long been used to describe homosexuals.

Beg to differ. From dictionary.com:

deviate-

adjective
5.
characterized by deviation or departure from an accepted norm or standard, as of behavior.


I thought a deviant was someone who practices deviancy. That is, behavior that deviates from the accepted norm.
2012-08-08 11:02:16 AM
1 votes:

AngryJailhouseFistfark: tonguedepressor: Am I the only one who clicked on the link and saw the chick at the beginning of the video clip and thought she was the perp.?

No, indeed, I did think, and secretly hope against all hope and dreams of a long and abiding love that transcendeth our frail beings and ascends to the mighty heights of creation, enduring and unimpeachable, where her soft lips would caress my turgid manhood, where my fingers would entwine her flowing tresses, and her hand would rest upon my powerfully muscled thigh as my love for her did attain a trembling, glowing climax and my copious issue filled her yearning mouth, even to trickle from the corners and down her chin whilst her gaze locked with mine, our hearts pounding together, our very spirits enjoined now and forever through time and all things unto the ending of the world.

Imagine my disappointment when I learned it was this surly bulldog of a man performing the Oral Ministrations.


You know your log-in doesn't do you justice.
2012-08-08 11:01:55 AM
1 votes:
This is what being in the closet will reduce you to.
2012-08-08 10:52:23 AM
1 votes:

rmify: cant believe I got sucked into reading this thread
the whole thing really blows
I am going back to sleep


Lock your window.
2012-08-08 10:47:02 AM
1 votes:

Diogenes: Once again I feel compelled to point out that there are plenty of willing men whose dicks you can suck. No reason to get all rapey and feloney.


I'm pretty sure that there are a bazillion websites floating around out there where you could set up this exact situation and NOT go to prison for rape.
2012-08-08 10:43:14 AM
1 votes:

Full Blown Jimbo: "Porter was charged with three counts of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse"

That's gonna look good on the old resume.


"deviate"? That looks wrong.
2012-08-08 10:39:19 AM
1 votes:
That's it, I'm going to buy a shotgun after work.

Seriously, take my stuff or kill me but that crosses the line.

How the fark hard is it for a gay guy to find another gay guy? That has to be the easiest sex life there is.
2012-08-08 10:37:23 AM
1 votes:

fragMasterFlash: Old and busted: UFIA. New newness: UMOP.


+1
2012-08-08 10:36:40 AM
1 votes:

HailRobonia: Uh...usually I inject a thing to paralyze you... (NSFW)


What is this? I don't even.
2012-08-08 10:34:34 AM
1 votes:
Rincewind53

Random Anonymous Blackmail: johndalek

why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?

Women only give head for 2 reasons. Either you have money or she is fat and hungry.

Sucks to be you, apparently.


Nope, my sarcasm meter works fine,
2012-08-08 10:32:41 AM
1 votes:

johndalek: why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?


FTFM
2012-08-08 10:31:27 AM
1 votes:

Rincewind53: Random Anonymous Blackmail: johndalek

why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?

Women only give head for 2 reasons. Either you have money or she is fat and hungry.

Sucks to be you, apparently.


Apparently it doesn't suck, which is the problem.
2012-08-08 10:29:46 AM
1 votes:

Random Anonymous Blackmail: johndalek

why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?

Women only give head for 2 reasons. Either you have money or she is fat and hungry.


Sucks to be you, apparently.
2012-08-08 10:28:53 AM
1 votes:
Am I the only one who clicked on the link and saw the chick at the beginning of the video clip and thought she was the perp.?
2012-08-08 10:28:46 AM
1 votes:
WTF? I get to the page and the video frame shows an attractive woman so I got my hopes up. What a disappointment.
2012-08-08 10:26:06 AM
1 votes:

johndalek: why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?


They don't need to resort to crime to give men the sex.
2012-08-08 10:25:18 AM
1 votes:

johndalek: why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?


Because attractive women have legal ways of stealing money from you. Thankfully it typically does involve blowing you occasionally, at least before they divorce your rich ass and take half.
2012-08-08 10:22:06 AM
1 votes:

Terrydatroll: This is a perfect example of how gay marriage could help society. He could marry another guy and adopt a child, keeping all of this sexual deviance within the happy home.


...because married people never deviate outside of their marriage!
2012-08-08 10:20:48 AM
1 votes:
Old and busted: UFIA. New newness: UMOP.
2012-08-08 10:19:13 AM
1 votes:
Is this a vice or a service?
2012-08-08 10:18:24 AM
1 votes:

padraig: The thing that this article left out was : did any of the victim let him finish ?


We can only wonder. But I like the phrasing they used in the article.

"He too allegedly stopped the suspect immediately, according to police."
2012-08-08 10:17:50 AM
1 votes:
He will be very popular in prison!
2012-08-08 10:15:49 AM
1 votes:
I'm just sayin, it's not gay if some gay guy is sucking you off unwillingly and you are enjoying it.
 
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