If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Huffington Post)   The thing about burglars is that it's difficult to know what they're going to do next. Sometimes they steal your electronics, other times it's your art. And sometimes they break in to perform oral sex on you while you sleep   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 147
    More: Weird, John O'Connor, The Patriot-News, Pennsylvania, wet dreams, WHP-TV  
•       •       •

17588 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Aug 2012 at 10:12 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



147 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-08-08 09:57:00 AM
i.huffpost.com

Somebody was on the down low.
 
2012-08-08 09:57:44 AM
You know the thing about a burglar, he's got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he blows ya and those black eyes roll over white.
 
2012-08-08 10:00:17 AM
Once again I feel compelled to point out that there are plenty of willing men whose dicks you can suck. No reason to get all rapey and feloney.
 
2012-08-08 10:00:47 AM
That's called rape, not burglary.
 
2012-08-08 10:13:46 AM

Rincewind53: That's called rape, not burglary.


Oh please, he was just cleaning the family jewels. With his tongue.
 
2012-08-08 10:13:53 AM
That's pretty gay right there.
 
2012-08-08 10:14:56 AM
The thing that this article left out was : did any of the victim let him finish ?
 
2012-08-08 10:15:49 AM
I'm just sayin, it's not gay if some gay guy is sucking you off unwillingly and you are enjoying it.
 
2012-08-08 10:17:10 AM
What's worse than a burglar? A burglar that thinks porno plots are real, especially gay porno plots.
 
2012-08-08 10:17:20 AM
This is a perfect example of how gay marriage could help society. He could marry another guy and adopt a child, keeping all of this sexual deviance within the happy home.
 
2012-08-08 10:17:50 AM
He will be very popular in prison!
 
2012-08-08 10:17:56 AM
As long as he doesn't suck your toes, right?
 
2012-08-08 10:18:17 AM
I could steal the TV or I could blow a guy... decisions, decisions.
 
2012-08-08 10:18:24 AM

padraig: The thing that this article left out was : did any of the victim let him finish ?


We can only wonder. But I like the phrasing they used in the article.

"He too allegedly stopped the suspect immediately, according to police."
 
2012-08-08 10:18:25 AM

dittybopper: You know the thing about a burglar, he's got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he blows ya and those black eyes roll over white.


can this please stop being a thing?
 
2012-08-08 10:19:13 AM
Is this a vice or a service?
 
2012-08-08 10:19:16 AM
Link (NSFW, arachnophobes)
 
2012-08-08 10:20:48 AM
Old and busted: UFIA. New newness: UMOP.
 
2012-08-08 10:21:45 AM

Rincewind53: That's called rape, not burglary.


Blowglary?
 
2012-08-08 10:22:06 AM

Terrydatroll: This is a perfect example of how gay marriage could help society. He could marry another guy and adopt a child, keeping all of this sexual deviance within the happy home.


...because married people never deviate outside of their marriage!
 
2012-08-08 10:23:17 AM
Wait. A black man went down?
 
2012-08-08 10:23:23 AM

Diogenes: padraig: The thing that this article left out was : did any of the victim let him finish ?

We can only wonder. But I like the phrasing they used in the article.

"He too allegedly stopped the suspect immediately, according to police."


I like how they made that clear to the police.
"NO!!! I STOPPED HIM right after I finished IMMEDIATELY!!!!!
 
2012-08-08 10:23:37 AM
why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?
 
2012-08-08 10:24:08 AM
I get the feeling that he is going to like prison
 
2012-08-08 10:25:18 AM

johndalek: why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?


Because attractive women have legal ways of stealing money from you. Thankfully it typically does involve blowing you occasionally, at least before they divorce your rich ass and take half.
 
2012-08-08 10:25:37 AM

INeedAName: He will be very popular in prison!


Not so much:
Last year, he was charged in Worcester County, Maryland, for sexually assaulting his sleeping cell mate in prison, News One said.
 
2012-08-08 10:25:42 AM
Was it this guy?

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-08-08 10:26:04 AM
Sperm banks exist for a reason. Be sure to make frequent deposits. Most don't have any penalties for early withdrawal. Its actually encouraged as it helps to avoid the potential to invest in derivatives. Keeping wads under your mattress is insecure as evidenced by this burglary.
 
2012-08-08 10:26:06 AM

johndalek: why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?


They don't need to resort to crime to give men the sex.
 
2012-08-08 10:26:30 AM
johndalek

why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?

Women only give head for 2 reasons. Either you have money or she is fat and hungry.
 
2012-08-08 10:27:35 AM

Terrydatroll: This is a perfect example of how gay marriage could help society. He could marry another guy and adopt a child, keeping all of this sexual deviance within the happy home.


Yes. This man clearly needs young minds to mold. I expect nothing but the best out of that situation.
 
2012-08-08 10:27:43 AM

Jake Havechek: That's pretty gay right there.


This is one of my favorite Onion articles...

Not that it has anything to do with this case....
 
2012-08-08 10:27:51 AM

padraig: The thing that this article left out was : did any of the victim let him finish ?


oyster.ignimgs.com
 
2012-08-08 10:27:57 AM
At first I thought it was the chick in the first picture and I was like
fc02.deviantart.net
Then I scrolled down and saw who it really was and was like
mediamrs.com
 
2012-08-08 10:28:46 AM
WTF? I get to the page and the video frame shows an attractive woman so I got my hopes up. What a disappointment.
 
2012-08-08 10:28:53 AM
Am I the only one who clicked on the link and saw the chick at the beginning of the video clip and thought she was the perp.?
 
2012-08-08 10:29:17 AM
www.britmovie.co.uk
He was licking me!!!
 
2012-08-08 10:29:17 AM
 
2012-08-08 10:29:19 AM
Porter was just trying to handle their luggage.
 
2012-08-08 10:29:27 AM

Terrydatroll: This is a perfect example of how gay marriage could help society. He could marry another guy and adopt a child, keeping all of this sexual deviance within the happy home.


Not all gay men are rapists or child molesters. Just like not all straight men are rapists or child molesters.
Most adults want consensual relationships with other adults.
This is not a gay problem. This is a crazy-person problem. It isn't the same thing.

/Repeat as necessary until it sinks in.
 
2012-08-08 10:29:46 AM

Random Anonymous Blackmail: johndalek

why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?

Women only give head for 2 reasons. Either you have money or she is fat and hungry.


Sucks to be you, apparently.
 
2012-08-08 10:31:03 AM
Can't he just go work a glory hole instead?
 
2012-08-08 10:31:27 AM

Rincewind53: Random Anonymous Blackmail: johndalek

why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?

Women only give head for 2 reasons. Either you have money or she is fat and hungry.

Sucks to be you, apparently.


Apparently it doesn't suck, which is the problem.
 
2012-08-08 10:31:57 AM
See now...I had hopes. I am actually still young and stupid enough to hope that it might have been a woman breaking in and doing this to guys. I was already in mid fantasy and planning how I could put a ladder outside my bedroom window, and maybe a little tray of milk and cookies to lure in the hungry fellater. But no. TFA has to farking ruin it for me by slapping up a mug shot of random black dude.

NOT COOL.
 
2012-08-08 10:32:02 AM
There hasn't been a jail cell built, yet, that can hold The Bukkake Bandit.
 
2012-08-08 10:32:41 AM

johndalek: why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?


FTFM
 
2012-08-08 10:32:46 AM

Pumpernickel bread: I get the feeling that he is going to like prison


And prison is going to like him.

/lined up all the way around the yard
 
2012-08-08 10:33:17 AM
images.tvrage.com
 
2012-08-08 10:34:34 AM
Rincewind53

Random Anonymous Blackmail: johndalek

why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?

Women only give head for 2 reasons. Either you have money or she is fat and hungry.

Sucks to be you, apparently.


Nope, my sarcasm meter works fine,
 
2012-08-08 10:35:13 AM
"Yo, dog! Imma let you finish sleepin', but firs I gonna suck yo dick!"
 
2012-08-08 10:36:23 AM

Theaetetus: Rincewind53: Random Anonymous Blackmail: johndalek

why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?

Women only give head for 2 reasons. Either you have money or she is fat and hungry.

Sucks to be you, apparently.

Apparently it doesn't suck, which is the problem.


I stand corrected.
 
2012-08-08 10:36:40 AM

HailRobonia: Uh...usually I inject a thing to paralyze you... (NSFW)


What is this? I don't even.
 
2012-08-08 10:37:23 AM

fragMasterFlash: Old and busted: UFIA. New newness: UMOP.


+1
 
2012-08-08 10:39:19 AM
That's it, I'm going to buy a shotgun after work.

Seriously, take my stuff or kill me but that crosses the line.

How the fark hard is it for a gay guy to find another gay guy? That has to be the easiest sex life there is.
 
2012-08-08 10:40:35 AM
Hmmnn... Think I can pay him to teach my wife to do that?
 
2012-08-08 10:40:59 AM
"Porter was charged with three counts of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse"

That's gonna look good on the old resume.
 
2012-08-08 10:43:14 AM

Full Blown Jimbo: "Porter was charged with three counts of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse"

That's gonna look good on the old resume.


"deviate"? That looks wrong.
 
2012-08-08 10:44:33 AM

hitlersbrain: That's it, I'm going to buy a shotgun after work.

Seriously, take my stuff or kill me but that crosses the line.

How the fark hard is it for a gay guy to find another gay guy? That has to be the easiest sex life there is.


this story is about making fun of someone because you thought they were gay and livin it up at the club?
or not gay when they should be gay.
in any case kill this farker
 
2012-08-08 10:44:42 AM
approves big time

content6.flixster.com
 
2012-08-08 10:44:46 AM

bdub77: johndalek: why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?

Because attractive women have legal ways of stealing money from you. Thankfully it typically does involve blowing you occasionally, at least before they divorce your rich ass and take half.


i.imgur.com
HALF!!!
 
2012-08-08 10:45:06 AM
That's a real dedication to cock sucking. You don't see a lot of people going above and beyond for their craft anymore.
 
2012-08-08 10:45:31 AM

HotWingConspiracy: That's a real dedication to cock sucking. You don't see a lot of people going above and beyond for their craft anymore.


It's a labor of love.
 
2012-08-08 10:46:31 AM
So were his pupils dilated or not?

TOM CRUISE?!?!?!?!?
 
2012-08-08 10:46:41 AM

Diogenes: Full Blown Jimbo: "Porter was charged with three counts of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse"

That's gonna look good on the old resume.

"deviate"? That looks wrong.


If there's anything more deviate than breaking into a guy's apartment and sucking on his wang, I don't wanna know about it.
 
2012-08-08 10:47:02 AM

Diogenes: Once again I feel compelled to point out that there are plenty of willing men whose dicks you can suck. No reason to get all rapey and feloney.


I'm pretty sure that there are a bazillion websites floating around out there where you could set up this exact situation and NOT go to prison for rape.
 
2012-08-08 10:47:05 AM
Is he an angel? Link
 
2012-08-08 10:47:22 AM
You know...this whole story is a little hard to swallow.
 
2012-08-08 10:47:23 AM
Time to call Gaybraham van Ballsing, cumpire hunter.
 
2012-08-08 10:47:30 AM

tonguedepressor: Am I the only one who clicked on the link and saw the chick at the beginning of the video clip and thought she was the perp.?


No, indeed, I did think, and secretly hope against all hope and dreams of a long and abiding love that transcendeth our frail beings and ascends to the mighty heights of creation, enduring and unimpeachable, where her soft lips would caress my turgid manhood, where my fingers would entwine her flowing tresses, and her hand would rest upon my powerfully muscled thigh as my love for her did attain a trembling, glowing climax and my copious issue filled her yearning mouth, even to trickle from the corners and down her chin whilst her gaze locked with mine, our hearts pounding together, our very spirits enjoined now and forever through time and all things unto the ending of the world.

Imagine my disappointment when I learned it was this surly bulldog of a man performing the Oral Ministrations.
 
2012-08-08 10:47:40 AM
cant believe I got sucked into reading this thread
the whole thing really blows
I am going back to sleep
 
2012-08-08 10:49:05 AM

Full Blown Jimbo: "Porter was charged with three counts of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse"

That's gonna look good on the old resume.


This means he'll have to register as a prevert.
 
2012-08-08 10:50:21 AM

padraig: The thing that this article left out was : did any of the victim let him finish ?


He too allegedly stopped the suspect immediately, according to police.
 
2012-08-08 10:51:14 AM

mongbiohazard: Hmmnn... Think I can pay him to teach my wife to do that?


Link
NSFW
 
2012-08-08 10:52:10 AM

padraig: The thing that this article left out was : did any of the victim let him finish ?


Geez man! There's just some things you just don't talk about in public!!!

/SnoochiBoochies!!
 
2012-08-08 10:52:12 AM

abhorrent1: Can't he just go work a glory hole instead?


its not the same
 
2012-08-08 10:52:23 AM

rmify: cant believe I got sucked into reading this thread
the whole thing really blows
I am going back to sleep


Lock your window.
 
2012-08-08 10:52:34 AM

Cisco-Kid: Terrydatroll: This is a perfect example of how gay marriage could help society. He could marry another guy and adopt a child, keeping all of this sexual deviance within the happy home.

Not all gay men are rapists or child molesters. Just like not all straight men are rapists or child molesters.
Most adults want consensual relationships with other adults.
This is not a gay problem. This is a crazy-person problem. It isn't the same thing.

/Repeat as necessary until it sinks in.


You sound ghey
 
2012-08-08 10:57:12 AM

mudpants: Cisco-Kid: Terrydatroll: This is a perfect example of how gay marriage could help society. He could marry another guy and adopt a child, keeping all of this sexual deviance within the happy home.

Not all gay men are rapists or child molesters. Just like not all straight men are rapists or child molesters.
Most adults want consensual relationships with other adults.
This is not a gay problem. This is a crazy-person problem. It isn't the same thing.

/Repeat as necessary until it sinks in.

You sound ghey


Not that there's anything wrong with that. There is, however, something wrong with you.
 
2012-08-08 10:58:36 AM
www.circumstitions.com
"Hey, don't look at me. I only did Lucy Snorebush ONCE."
 
2012-08-08 11:00:35 AM
At first I was like AWWW, YEAH

i780.photobucket.com


Then I was all AWW HELL NAW

i.huffpost.com
 
2012-08-08 11:01:09 AM

Full Blown Jimbo: Diogenes: Full Blown Jimbo: "Porter was charged with three counts of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse"

That's gonna look good on the old resume.

"deviate"? That looks wrong.

If there's anything more deviate than breaking into a guy's apartment and sucking on his wang, I don't wanna know about it.


The word you are looking for and that the reporter couldn't find is deviant. Both words have essentially the same meaning, though deviant is more commonly used to describe behaviors. In the homophobic sense, it has long been used to describe homosexuals.
 
2012-08-08 11:01:55 AM
This is what being in the closet will reduce you to.
 
2012-08-08 11:02:16 AM

AngryJailhouseFistfark: tonguedepressor: Am I the only one who clicked on the link and saw the chick at the beginning of the video clip and thought she was the perp.?

No, indeed, I did think, and secretly hope against all hope and dreams of a long and abiding love that transcendeth our frail beings and ascends to the mighty heights of creation, enduring and unimpeachable, where her soft lips would caress my turgid manhood, where my fingers would entwine her flowing tresses, and her hand would rest upon my powerfully muscled thigh as my love for her did attain a trembling, glowing climax and my copious issue filled her yearning mouth, even to trickle from the corners and down her chin whilst her gaze locked with mine, our hearts pounding together, our very spirits enjoined now and forever through time and all things unto the ending of the world.

Imagine my disappointment when I learned it was this surly bulldog of a man performing the Oral Ministrations.


You know your log-in doesn't do you justice.
 
2012-08-08 11:04:47 AM

JackieRabbit: Full Blown Jimbo: Diogenes: Full Blown Jimbo: "Porter was charged with three counts of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse"

That's gonna look good on the old resume.

"deviate"? That looks wrong.

If there's anything more deviate than breaking into a guy's apartment and sucking on his wang, I don't wanna know about it.

The word you are looking for and that the reporter couldn't find is deviant. Both words have essentially the same meaning, though deviant is more commonly used to describe behaviors. In the homophobic sense, it has long been used to describe homosexuals.


Beg to differ. From dictionary.com:

deviate-

adjective
5.
characterized by deviation or departure from an accepted norm or standard, as of behavior.
 
2012-08-08 11:05:52 AM
If any Farkettes wish to practice their blowglary, I have EIP... Which also comes in handy for BIE.

/What?
 
2012-08-08 11:06:32 AM

Random Anonymous Blackmail: johndalek

why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?

Women only give head for 2 reasons. Either you have money or she is fat and hungry.


Not always, and if you have never had a girlfriend that enjoys it and is good at it, well, that sucks.
 
2012-08-08 11:07:08 AM

johndalek: why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?


You just don't hear about it because they never get reported to the police.
 
2012-08-08 11:07:40 AM

jmadisonbiii: At first I was like AWWW, YEAH

[i780.photobucket.com image 568x437]


Then I was all AWW HELL NAW

[i.huffpost.com image 260x190]


I did the exact same thing.
 
2012-08-08 11:07:49 AM
FORGETTICUS!
 
2012-08-08 11:08:08 AM
Did I stop him? Well, officer, at first I thought it was my dog, he does that sometimes. But when he started rubbing my hang downs I knew something was up. And to answer your question, of course I gave him the tap, that's only being polite.
 
2012-08-08 11:08:19 AM
Instead of this modus operandi, dude should have headed to the public bathrooms for some hobo dick cheese. One of the worst cases of teh ghey that I can ever recall reading about...*shudder*...scary shiat...wut if he had decided to bite instead of suck...*chomp*.......AAAHHHHHHHHIIEEEE
 
2012-08-08 11:09:21 AM

trivial use of my dark powers: Is he an angel? Link


I was surprised this wasn't linked sooner. Nicely done.
 
2012-08-08 11:09:49 AM

ChipNASA: You know...this whole story is a little hard to swallow.


Braggart.
 
2012-08-08 11:09:56 AM

Full Blown Jimbo: JackieRabbit: Full Blown Jimbo: Diogenes: Full Blown Jimbo: "Porter was charged with three counts of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse"

That's gonna look good on the old resume.

"deviate"? That looks wrong.

If there's anything more deviate than breaking into a guy's apartment and sucking on his wang, I don't wanna know about it.

The word you are looking for and that the reporter couldn't find is deviant. Both words have essentially the same meaning, though deviant is more commonly used to describe behaviors. In the homophobic sense, it has long been used to describe homosexuals.

Beg to differ. From dictionary.com:

deviate-

adjective
5.
characterized by deviation or departure from an accepted norm or standard, as of behavior.


I thought a deviant was someone who practices deviancy. That is, behavior that deviates from the accepted norm.
 
2012-08-08 11:10:10 AM

MagSeven: Lock your window.


horrornews.net

Why do you hate Sandusky?
 
2012-08-08 11:10:23 AM
Once in high school on a debate trip one of my friends woke up to another guy who had crawled up on his bed and had his face right in his crotch. He immediately punched him. The subject was never broached again and the weiner approaching guy stayed in the closet throughout high school.

///Found out at 20th reunion he remained closeted (or else he just wanted the penis that one and only time; who knows) and married a girl and had two kids. They were ages 3 and six weeks old when a girl talking on her cell phone ran a red light and hit his Jeep. According to witnesses the impact did not kill him, it was the gasoline fire that caused his writhing screaming demise.

Cell phone girl faced no charges. Kids are impoverished.

///Least cool story ever bro. Had nightmares.

Only bad thing the guy ever did was try to suck one sleeping guys penis. And he got punched in the face for it so he was square on that deal.
 
2012-08-08 11:11:23 AM

jmadisonbiii: At first I was like AWWW, YEAH

[i780.photobucket.com image 568x437]


Then I was all AWW HELL NAW

[i.huffpost.com image 260x190]


Exactly this!
 
2012-08-08 11:12:29 AM

farm machine: Sperm banks exist for a reason. Be sure to make frequent deposits. Most don't have any penalties for early withdrawal. Its actually encouraged as it helps to avoid the potential to invest in derivatives. Keeping wads under your mattress is insecure as evidenced by this burglary.


I used to work at a sperm bank. But I got fired for drinking on the job.

It was rum. Not sperm. Did you think this was some sort of joke? I'm an alcoholic. I have a serious drinking problem. It's not funny.
 
2012-08-08 11:16:31 AM

MagSeven: Diogenes: padraig: The thing that this article left out was : did any of the victim let him finish ?

We can only wonder. But I like the phrasing they used in the article.

"He too allegedly stopped the suspect immediately, according to police."

I like how they made that clear to the police.
"NO!!! I STOPPED HIM right after I finished IMMEDIATELY!!!!!


I get the humor of this. Really, I do. But I'm wondering how many people really actually think someone's reaction to awakening groggily to a barely acquainted man sucking on your penis would be "ok, this feels nice". As opposed to "WTFingFingF!"
 
2012-08-08 11:18:22 AM

Full Blown Jimbo: JackieRabbit: Full Blown Jimbo: Diogenes: Full Blown Jimbo: "Porter was charged with three counts of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse"

That's gonna look good on the old resume.

"deviate"? That looks wrong.

If there's anything more deviate than breaking into a guy's apartment and sucking on his wang, I don't wanna know about it.

The word you are looking for and that the reporter couldn't find is deviant. Both words have essentially the same meaning, though deviant is more commonly used to describe behaviors. In the homophobic sense, it has long been used to describe homosexuals.

Beg to differ. From dictionary.com:

deviate-

adjective
5.
characterized by deviation or departure from an accepted norm or standard, as of behavior.


You can beg, but you didn't do enough of your homework. Also from the dictionary:

deviant |ˈdēvēənt|

adjective

departing from usual or accepted standards, esp. in social or sexual behavior: deviant behavior | a deviant ideology.

• derogatory homosexual.

I win the argument.
 
2012-08-08 11:19:10 AM
I'm not even sure how this guys isn't dead already or seriously hurt.. I can't say how one man awaking to another performing an 'unwelcome' sex act on him does not result in some serious injury between reporting the crime and the guy trying to get out of dodge.
 
2012-08-08 11:20:20 AM

notatrollorami: Once in high school on a debate trip one of my friends woke up to another guy who had crawled up on his bed and had his face right in his crotch. He immediately punched him. The subject was never broached again and the weiner approaching guy stayed in the closet throughout high school.

///Found out at 20th reunion he remained closeted (or else he just wanted the penis that one and only time; who knows) and married a girl and had two kids. They were ages 3 and six weeks old when a girl talking on her cell phone ran a red light and hit his Jeep. According to witnesses the impact did not kill him, it was the gasoline fire that caused his writhing screaming demise.

Cell phone girl faced no charges. Kids are impoverished.

///Least cool story ever bro. Had nightmares.

Only bad thing the guy ever did was try to suck one sleeping guys penis. And he got punched in the face for it so he was square on that deal.


ocobiega.org
 
2012-08-08 11:21:05 AM

MagSeven: [www.britmovie.co.uk image 250x234]
He was licking me!!!


Bad man outside!!
 
2012-08-08 11:23:11 AM

MagSeven: Full Blown Jimbo: JackieRabbit: Full Blown Jimbo: Diogenes: Full Blown Jimbo: "Porter was charged with three counts of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse"

That's gonna look good on the old resume.

"deviate"? That looks wrong.

If there's anything more deviate than breaking into a guy's apartment and sucking on his wang, I don't wanna know about it.

The word you are looking for and that the reporter couldn't find is deviant. Both words have essentially the same meaning, though deviant is more commonly used to describe behaviors. In the homophobic sense, it has long been used to describe homosexuals.

Beg to differ. From dictionary.com:

deviate-

adjective
5.
characterized by deviation or departure from an accepted norm or standard, as of behavior.

I thought a deviant was someone who practices deviancy. That is, behavior that deviates from the accepted norm.


Deviant is both a noun and an adjective. Deviate is both a verb and an adjective. If anyone knows how to describe a freak, its me.
 
Biv
2012-08-08 11:23:54 AM

TrainingWheelsNeeded: dittybopper: You know the thing about a burglar, he's got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he blows ya and those black eyes roll over white.

can this please stop being a thing?


NEVER!!!! Jaws quotes are mother's milk.

Sometimes he go down, sometimes he don' go down.
 
2012-08-08 11:24:20 AM

feuerwehrmann: johndalek: why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?

FTFM


I wondered about this. But I figured you started with "attractive blonde" and then decided "why be exclusionary?"
 
2012-08-08 11:24:45 AM

notatrollorami: MagSeven: Diogenes: padraig: The thing that this article left out was : did any of the victim let him finish ?

We can only wonder. But I like the phrasing they used in the article.

"He too allegedly stopped the suspect immediately, according to police."

I like how they made that clear to the police.
"NO!!! I STOPPED HIM right after I finished IMMEDIATELY!!!!!

I get the humor of this. Really, I do. But I'm wondering how many people really actually think someone's reaction to awakening groggily to a barely acquainted man sucking on your penis would be "ok, this feels nice". As opposed to "WTFingFingF!"


I imagine most of us would be rightfully horrified, but I'm sure there a few dudes out there that would just say "fark it" and enjoy the ride.
 
2012-08-08 11:26:01 AM

Rincewind53: That's called rape, not burglary.


technically subby is also correct. burglary is usually breaking into a dwelling to commit a felony. the worst kind of correct.
 
2012-08-08 11:26:27 AM

JackieRabbit: Full Blown Jimbo: JackieRabbit: Full Blown Jimbo: Diogenes: Full Blown Jimbo: "Porter was charged with three counts of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse"

That's gonna look good on the old resume.

"deviate"? That looks wrong.

If there's anything more deviate than breaking into a guy's apartment and sucking on his wang, I don't wanna know about it.

The word you are looking for and that the reporter couldn't find is deviant. Both words have essentially the same meaning, though deviant is more commonly used to describe behaviors. In the homophobic sense, it has long been used to describe homosexuals.

Beg to differ. From dictionary.com:

deviate-

adjective
5.
characterized by deviation or departure from an accepted norm or standard, as of behavior.

You can beg, but you didn't do enough of your homework. Also from the dictionary:

deviant |ˈdēvēənt|

adjective

departing from usual or accepted standards, esp. in social or sexual behavior: deviant behavior | a deviant ideology.

• derogatory homosexual.

I win the argument.


You're not wrong, but deviate is most commonly used as a verb.
 
2012-08-08 11:27:38 AM

JackieRabbit: Full Blown Jimbo: JackieRabbit: Full Blown Jimbo: Diogenes: Full Blown Jimbo: "Porter was charged with three counts of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse"

That's gonna look good on the old resume.

"deviate"? That looks wrong.

If there's anything more deviate than breaking into a guy's apartment and sucking on his wang, I don't wanna know about it.

The word you are looking for and that the reporter couldn't find is deviant. Both words have essentially the same meaning, though deviant is more commonly used to describe behaviors. In the homophobic sense, it has long been used to describe homosexuals.

Beg to differ. From dictionary.com:

deviate-

adjective
5.
characterized by deviation or departure from an accepted norm or standard, as of behavior.

You can beg, but you didn't do enough of your homework. Also from the dictionary:

deviant |ˈdēvēənt|

adjective

departing from usual or accepted standards, esp. in social or sexual behavior: deviant behavior | a deviant ideology.

• derogatory homosexual.

I win the argument.


Conceded. English is fun, we have so many words for weirdos.
 
2012-08-08 11:28:30 AM

notatrollorami: MagSeven: Diogenes: padraig: The thing that this article left out was : did any of the victim let him finish ?

We can only wonder. But I like the phrasing they used in the article.

"He too allegedly stopped the suspect immediately, according to police."

I like how they made that clear to the police.
"NO!!! I STOPPED HIM right after I finished IMMEDIATELY!!!!!

I get the humor of this. Really, I do. But I'm wondering how many people really actually think someone's reaction to awakening groggily to a barely acquainted man sucking on your penis would be "ok, this feels nice". As opposed to "WTFingFingF!"


It could have been worst, It could have been an underage boy and he could have said "I'm sorry Mr notatrollorami you never woke up before.
 
2012-08-08 11:30:05 AM

JackieRabbit: Full Blown Jimbo: Diogenes: Full Blown Jimbo: "Porter was charged with three counts of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse"

That's gonna look good on the old resume.

"deviate"? That looks wrong.

If there's anything more deviate than breaking into a guy's apartment and sucking on his wang, I don't wanna know about it.

The word you are looking for and that the reporter couldn't find is deviant. Both words have essentially the same meaning, though deviant is more commonly used to describe behaviors. In the homophobic sense, it has long been used to describe homosexuals.


No, it's "deviate" --

Involuntary deviate sexual intercourse - 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 3123

It refers to manual, oral or anal sex. It has nothing to go with the gender of the perpetrator or victim.
 
2012-08-08 11:31:24 AM

Pork1: fragMasterFlash: Old and busted: UFIA. New newness: UMOP.

+1


UMOP

Only if he spits
 
2012-08-08 11:36:53 AM

EZ Writer: You're not wrong, but deviate is most commonly used as a verb.


Uncommon usage doesn't make it incorrect. Apparently they used it in the statute.

meanmutton: No, it's "deviate" --


Thank you.
 
2012-08-08 11:37:48 AM
starberryicecream.com
 
2012-08-08 11:39:06 AM

Full Blown Jimbo: EZ Writer: You're not wrong, but deviate is most commonly used as a verb.

Uncommon usage doesn't make it incorrect. Apparently they used it in the statute.

meanmutton: No, it's "deviate" --

Thank you.


I'm glad to have read this discussion, because I also thought deviate was just bad spelling.

Now I know that it's correct... But it still looks wrong. :)
 
2012-08-08 11:39:40 AM
Link
It was divine intervention.
 
2012-08-08 11:43:14 AM

Full Blown Jimbo: EZ Writer: You're not wrong, but deviate is most commonly used as a verb.

Uncommon usage doesn't make it incorrect. Apparently they used it in the statute.

meanmutton: No, it's "deviate" --

Thank you.


Which is why I said "You're not wrong." However, uncommon usage can make it "look" wrong, like someone said. That's what makes the English language such a joy... Especially as a second language.
 
2012-08-08 11:43:27 AM

MagSeven: I thought a deviant was someone who practices deviancy. That is, behavior that deviates from the accepted norm.


Denotation vs. Connotation
 
2012-08-08 11:45:05 AM

EZ Writer: Which is why I said "You're not wrong." However, uncommon usage can make it "look" wrong, like someone said. That's what makes the English language such a joy... Especially as a second language.


Tell me about it, I grew up in Louisiana. English is hard.
 
2012-08-08 11:45:20 AM

jmadisonbiii: At first I was like AWWW, YEAH

[i780.photobucket.com image 568x437]


Then I was all AWW HELL NAW

[i.huffpost.com image 260x190]


This.

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-08-08 11:46:46 AM

Mmmmkaay: I'm not even sure how this guys isn't dead already or seriously hurt.. I can't say how one man awaking to another performing an 'unwelcome' sex act on him does not result in some serious injury between reporting the crime and the guy trying to get out of dodge.


the perp had the upper hand because the guys had been out partying. they probably had a night of drinking and what-not. that's more like passing out when you get home, a deeper slumber than just falling asleep sober. it's actually a testimony to how good the alleged perp could suck bone.
 
2012-08-08 11:47:52 AM

Diogenes: MagSeven: I thought a deviant was someone who practices deviancy. That is, behavior that deviates from the accepted norm.

Denotation vs. Connotation


Would you stop making me look things up?
 
2012-08-08 11:49:10 AM

jmadisonbiii: At first I was like AWWW, YEAH

[i780.photobucket.com image 568x437]


Then I was all AWW HELL NAW

[i.huffpost.com image 260x190]


You just experienced the movie "Crying Game" in less than 10 seconds.
 
2012-08-08 11:57:30 AM

MythDragon: At first I thought it was the chick in the first picture and I was like
[fc02.deviantart.net image 312x393]
Then I scrolled down and saw who it really was and was like
[mediamrs.com image 450x276]


That's only funny because of the rumors about Kat Williams.............
 
2012-08-08 11:58:58 AM

KrispyKritter: Mmmmkaay: I'm not even sure how this guys isn't dead already or seriously hurt.. I can't say how one man awaking to another performing an 'unwelcome' sex act on him does not result in some serious injury between reporting the crime and the guy trying to get out of dodge.

the perp had the upper hand because the guys had been out partying. they probably had a night of drinking and what-not. that's more like passing out when you get home, a deeper slumber than just falling asleep sober. it's actually a testimony to how good the alleged perp could suck bone.


Or maybe, just like with chicks, consensual turned into rape after the fact.
 
2012-08-08 12:01:12 PM
I know this is going to offend some people but.
Icky
 
2012-08-08 12:02:12 PM

MythDragon: farm machine: Sperm banks exist for a reason. Be sure to make frequent deposits. Most don't have any penalties for early withdrawal. Its actually encouraged as it helps to avoid the potential to invest in derivatives. Keeping wads under your mattress is insecure as evidenced by this burglary.

I used to work at a sperm bank. But I got fired for drinking on the job.

It was rum. Not sperm. Did you think this was some sort of joke? I'm an alcoholic. I have a serious drinking problem. It's not funny.


It's a little funny.
 
2012-08-08 12:03:43 PM

Diogenes: MagSeven: I thought a deviant was someone who practices deviancy. That is, behavior that deviates from the accepted norm.

Denotation vs. Connotation


I swear I used to be familiar with that term.
/less beer/more google.
 
2012-08-08 12:13:34 PM

Pumpernickel bread: I get the feeling that he is going to like prison


FTA:The suspect has been arrested for similar crimes before. Last year, he was charged in Worcester County, Maryland, for sexually assaulting his sleeping cell mate in prison, News One said.

He's aware and already trying to get back. Recidivism FTW.
 
2012-08-08 12:18:20 PM
Maybe He was playing Goldilocks going from Bear to Bear?
 
2012-08-08 12:25:35 PM
He just wants their precious bodily fluids.
 
2012-08-08 12:35:05 PM
 
2012-08-08 12:35:29 PM
If he does lay into you it's best to just let him finish...
ts3.mm.bing.net
 
2012-08-08 12:44:59 PM
This is weird because it isn't like there's a shortage of gay or bi men that would like having their dick sucked by a guy. Couldn't he have found a glory hole somewhere or something? Craigslist? WTF!?!
 
2012-08-08 12:50:41 PM

EZ Writer: JackieRabbit: Full Blown Jimbo: JackieRabbit: Full Blown Jimbo: Diogenes: Full Blown Jimbo: "Porter was charged with three counts of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse"

That's gonna look good on the old resume.

"deviate"? That looks wrong.

If there's anything more deviate than breaking into a guy's apartment and sucking on his wang, I don't wanna know about it.

The word you are looking for and that the reporter couldn't find is deviant. Both words have essentially the same meaning, though deviant is more commonly used to describe behaviors. In the homophobic sense, it has long been used to describe homosexuals.

Beg to differ. From dictionary.com:

deviate-

adjective
5.
characterized by deviation or departure from an accepted norm or standard, as of behavior.

You can beg, but you didn't do enough of your homework. Also from the dictionary:

deviant |ˈdēvēənt|

adjective

departing from usual or accepted standards, esp. in social or sexual behavior: deviant behavior | a deviant ideology.

• derogatory homosexual.

I win the argument.

You're not wrong, but deviate is most commonly used as a verb.


True. The word is a verb and here's a lttle more from the dictionary:


noun& adjective |ˈdēvēˌit|

old-fashioned term for deviant.
 
2012-08-08 01:33:59 PM
d1.yimg.com

I want a burgler too!
 
2012-08-08 01:52:03 PM
I didn't see the problem either with the first pic...
then I scrolled down.

But you have to remember too...
It was dark, eyes closed and a warm mouth...

What would you do? What would you do?
 
2012-08-08 02:03:23 PM

Cisco-Kid: Terrydatroll: This is a perfect example of how gay marriage could help society. He could marry another guy and adopt a child, keeping all of this sexual deviance within the happy home.

Not all gay men are rapists or child molesters. Just like not all straight men are rapists or child molesters.
Most adults want consensual relationships with other adults.
This is not a gay problem. This is a crazy-person problem. It isn't the same thing.

/Repeat as necessary until it sinks in.


Very much this. In fact, I'd put molester/rapist outside of sexual orientation. This is not a gay guy sucking dick, this is a seriously disturbed individual molesting people in their sleep.
 
2012-08-08 02:05:00 PM

JWideman: this is a seriously disturbed individual molesting people in their sleep.


so not quite as bad as a gay person?!?!?
 
2012-08-08 02:35:01 PM
Damnit, I can't find it on Youtube, but The Kids in Hall foretold this. i can't be the only one who remembers The Blowjob Fairy skit.

\Oh Susie!
 
2012-08-08 02:45:23 PM

rmify: cant believe I got sucked into reading this thread
the whole thing really blows
I am going back to sleep


No "Came here for..."?
 
2012-08-08 02:48:09 PM
I got excited when I saw the reporter on the front of the article. Thought that was the "perp". Boy was I disappointed when I read the article.
b.vimeocdn.com
 
2012-08-08 02:52:03 PM
The gurgling burglar.
 
2012-08-08 03:32:16 PM
I think this story just ruined surprise blow jobs for a lot of people. Instead of the traditional "oh yeah" throughout the performance, now we'll be forced to follow the "oh yeah" with paranoid suspicion, and a major adrenaline rush, flick of a light switch, then a 99.999999% probability of settling back to "oh yeah"
 
2012-08-08 06:03:55 PM

JackieRabbit: Full Blown Jimbo: JackieRabbit: Full Blown Jimbo: Diogenes: Full Blown Jimbo: "Porter was charged with three counts of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse"

That's gonna look good on the old resume.

"deviate"? That looks wrong.

If there's anything more deviate than breaking into a guy's apartment and sucking on his wang, I don't wanna know about it.

The word you are looking for and that the reporter couldn't find is deviant. Both words have essentially the same meaning, though deviant is more commonly used to describe behaviors. In the homophobic sense, it has long been used to describe homosexuals.

Beg to differ. From dictionary.com:

deviate-

adjective
5.
characterized by deviation or departure from an accepted norm or standard, as of behavior.

You can beg, but you didn't do enough of your homework. Also from the dictionary:

deviant |ˈdēvēənt|

adjective

departing from usual or accepted standards, esp. in social or sexual behavior: deviant behavior | a deviant ideology.

• derogatory homosexual.

I win the argument.


No. As pointed out by others, deviate is correct, an adjective modifying "sexual intercourse." Deviant might also be correct. If you are saying that only deviant is correct, you are mistaken.
 
2012-08-08 06:20:47 PM

LockeOak: Link (NSFW, arachnophobes)


Ok. That was friggin hilarious. Seriously LOL'd.
 
Displayed 147 of 147 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report