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(Huffington Post)   The thing about burglars is that it's difficult to know what they're going to do next. Sometimes they steal your electronics, other times it's your art. And sometimes they break in to perform oral sex on you while you sleep   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 147
    More: Weird, John O'Connor, The Patriot-News, Pennsylvania, wet dreams, WHP-TV  
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17589 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Aug 2012 at 10:12 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-08 09:57:00 AM
i.huffpost.com

Somebody was on the down low.
 
2012-08-08 09:57:44 AM
You know the thing about a burglar, he's got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he blows ya and those black eyes roll over white.
 
2012-08-08 10:00:17 AM
Once again I feel compelled to point out that there are plenty of willing men whose dicks you can suck. No reason to get all rapey and feloney.
 
2012-08-08 10:00:47 AM
That's called rape, not burglary.
 
2012-08-08 10:13:46 AM

Rincewind53: That's called rape, not burglary.


Oh please, he was just cleaning the family jewels. With his tongue.
 
2012-08-08 10:13:53 AM
That's pretty gay right there.
 
2012-08-08 10:14:56 AM
The thing that this article left out was : did any of the victim let him finish ?
 
2012-08-08 10:15:49 AM
I'm just sayin, it's not gay if some gay guy is sucking you off unwillingly and you are enjoying it.
 
2012-08-08 10:17:10 AM
What's worse than a burglar? A burglar that thinks porno plots are real, especially gay porno plots.
 
2012-08-08 10:17:20 AM
This is a perfect example of how gay marriage could help society. He could marry another guy and adopt a child, keeping all of this sexual deviance within the happy home.
 
2012-08-08 10:17:50 AM
He will be very popular in prison!
 
2012-08-08 10:17:56 AM
As long as he doesn't suck your toes, right?
 
2012-08-08 10:18:17 AM
I could steal the TV or I could blow a guy... decisions, decisions.
 
2012-08-08 10:18:24 AM

padraig: The thing that this article left out was : did any of the victim let him finish ?


We can only wonder. But I like the phrasing they used in the article.

"He too allegedly stopped the suspect immediately, according to police."
 
2012-08-08 10:18:25 AM

dittybopper: You know the thing about a burglar, he's got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he blows ya and those black eyes roll over white.


can this please stop being a thing?
 
2012-08-08 10:19:13 AM
Is this a vice or a service?
 
2012-08-08 10:19:16 AM
Link (NSFW, arachnophobes)
 
2012-08-08 10:20:48 AM
Old and busted: UFIA. New newness: UMOP.
 
2012-08-08 10:21:45 AM

Rincewind53: That's called rape, not burglary.


Blowglary?
 
2012-08-08 10:22:06 AM

Terrydatroll: This is a perfect example of how gay marriage could help society. He could marry another guy and adopt a child, keeping all of this sexual deviance within the happy home.


...because married people never deviate outside of their marriage!
 
2012-08-08 10:23:17 AM
Wait. A black man went down?
 
2012-08-08 10:23:23 AM

Diogenes: padraig: The thing that this article left out was : did any of the victim let him finish ?

We can only wonder. But I like the phrasing they used in the article.

"He too allegedly stopped the suspect immediately, according to police."


I like how they made that clear to the police.
"NO!!! I STOPPED HIM right after I finished IMMEDIATELY!!!!!
 
2012-08-08 10:23:37 AM
why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?
 
2012-08-08 10:24:08 AM
I get the feeling that he is going to like prison
 
2012-08-08 10:25:18 AM

johndalek: why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?


Because attractive women have legal ways of stealing money from you. Thankfully it typically does involve blowing you occasionally, at least before they divorce your rich ass and take half.
 
2012-08-08 10:25:37 AM

INeedAName: He will be very popular in prison!


Not so much:
Last year, he was charged in Worcester County, Maryland, for sexually assaulting his sleeping cell mate in prison, News One said.
 
2012-08-08 10:25:42 AM
Was it this guy?

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-08-08 10:26:04 AM
Sperm banks exist for a reason. Be sure to make frequent deposits. Most don't have any penalties for early withdrawal. Its actually encouraged as it helps to avoid the potential to invest in derivatives. Keeping wads under your mattress is insecure as evidenced by this burglary.
 
2012-08-08 10:26:06 AM

johndalek: why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?


They don't need to resort to crime to give men the sex.
 
2012-08-08 10:26:30 AM
johndalek

why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?

Women only give head for 2 reasons. Either you have money or she is fat and hungry.
 
2012-08-08 10:27:35 AM

Terrydatroll: This is a perfect example of how gay marriage could help society. He could marry another guy and adopt a child, keeping all of this sexual deviance within the happy home.


Yes. This man clearly needs young minds to mold. I expect nothing but the best out of that situation.
 
2012-08-08 10:27:43 AM

Jake Havechek: That's pretty gay right there.


This is one of my favorite Onion articles...

Not that it has anything to do with this case....
 
2012-08-08 10:27:51 AM

padraig: The thing that this article left out was : did any of the victim let him finish ?


oyster.ignimgs.com
 
2012-08-08 10:27:57 AM
At first I thought it was the chick in the first picture and I was like
fc02.deviantart.net
Then I scrolled down and saw who it really was and was like
mediamrs.com
 
2012-08-08 10:28:46 AM
WTF? I get to the page and the video frame shows an attractive woman so I got my hopes up. What a disappointment.
 
2012-08-08 10:28:53 AM
Am I the only one who clicked on the link and saw the chick at the beginning of the video clip and thought she was the perp.?
 
2012-08-08 10:29:17 AM
www.britmovie.co.uk
He was licking me!!!
 
2012-08-08 10:29:17 AM
 
2012-08-08 10:29:19 AM
Porter was just trying to handle their luggage.
 
2012-08-08 10:29:27 AM

Terrydatroll: This is a perfect example of how gay marriage could help society. He could marry another guy and adopt a child, keeping all of this sexual deviance within the happy home.


Not all gay men are rapists or child molesters. Just like not all straight men are rapists or child molesters.
Most adults want consensual relationships with other adults.
This is not a gay problem. This is a crazy-person problem. It isn't the same thing.

/Repeat as necessary until it sinks in.
 
2012-08-08 10:29:46 AM

Random Anonymous Blackmail: johndalek

why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?

Women only give head for 2 reasons. Either you have money or she is fat and hungry.


Sucks to be you, apparently.
 
2012-08-08 10:31:03 AM
Can't he just go work a glory hole instead?
 
2012-08-08 10:31:27 AM

Rincewind53: Random Anonymous Blackmail: johndalek

why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?

Women only give head for 2 reasons. Either you have money or she is fat and hungry.

Sucks to be you, apparently.


Apparently it doesn't suck, which is the problem.
 
2012-08-08 10:31:57 AM
See now...I had hopes. I am actually still young and stupid enough to hope that it might have been a woman breaking in and doing this to guys. I was already in mid fantasy and planning how I could put a ladder outside my bedroom window, and maybe a little tray of milk and cookies to lure in the hungry fellater. But no. TFA has to farking ruin it for me by slapping up a mug shot of random black dude.

NOT COOL.
 
2012-08-08 10:32:02 AM
There hasn't been a jail cell built, yet, that can hold The Bukkake Bandit.
 
2012-08-08 10:32:41 AM

johndalek: why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?


FTFM
 
2012-08-08 10:32:46 AM

Pumpernickel bread: I get the feeling that he is going to like prison


And prison is going to like him.

/lined up all the way around the yard
 
2012-08-08 10:33:17 AM
images.tvrage.com
 
2012-08-08 10:34:34 AM
Rincewind53

Random Anonymous Blackmail: johndalek

why is it never an attractive blonde, brunette or readhead female that does this?

Women only give head for 2 reasons. Either you have money or she is fat and hungry.

Sucks to be you, apparently.


Nope, my sarcasm meter works fine,
 
2012-08-08 10:35:13 AM
"Yo, dog! Imma let you finish sleepin', but firs I gonna suck yo dick!"
 
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