Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Talking Points Memo)   Republican Convention will be so diverse, it shall be renamed "50 Shades of Old Wrinkly White Men"   (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Republican, Republican convention, GOP, human beings, California State Senate, severance, Linda Lingle, fault lines  
•       •       •

1595 clicks; posted to Politics » on 08 Aug 2012 at 9:42 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



94 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2012-08-08 09:10:33 AM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2012-08-08 09:12:02 AM  
All the nation's religions will be represented: Southern Baptist, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Methodist, Pentecostal AND Charismatics.
 
2012-08-08 09:43:44 AM  
And they'll have BOTH kinds of music: Country AND Western!
 
2012-08-08 09:45:19 AM  

vernonFL: All the nation's religions will be represented: Southern Baptist, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Methodist, Pentecostal AND Charismatics.


Don't forget the big dutch Christian Reformed church.
 
2012-08-08 09:45:26 AM  
more like 50 shades of wackos.
 
2012-08-08 09:45:28 AM  
There'll be eggshell, tope, pearl, smoke, snow, frost...
 
2012-08-08 09:47:00 AM  
The Lemon Party?
 
2012-08-08 09:48:08 AM  
They still opening with "The Horst Wessel Song"?
 
2012-08-08 09:50:08 AM  
Sheldon Adelson will be there?
 
2012-08-08 09:51:43 AM  
There'll be neoconservatives, tea partiers, libertarians, paleoconservatives, palinconservatives (with special hoverround seating areas), Truthers, Birthers, Birchers, Besmirchers, Randians, Rands, Tards (of the kick-ass variety), full retards, mongoloids and every Venn diagram combination you can think of.

pfft, lack of diversity my ass.
 
2012-08-08 09:52:16 AM  
They're still working on integrating Italians.
 
2012-08-08 09:53:30 AM  
There'll be rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con men, indian agents, mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shiat kickers, and methodists!
 
2012-08-08 09:53:46 AM  
Judge them not by the color of their skin, but by the hatred in their hearts
 
2012-08-08 09:54:00 AM  

coeyagi: There'll be neoconservatives, tea partiers, libertarians, paleoconservatives, palinconservatives (with special hoverround seating areas), Truthers, Birthers, Birchers, Besmirchers, Randians, Rands, Tards (of the kick-ass variety), full retards, mongoloids and every Venn diagram combination you can think of.

pfft, lack of diversity my ass.


You forgot rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nimwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shiat-kickers, and Methodists!
 
2012-08-08 09:54:23 AM  

mayIFark: more like 50 shades of wackos.


That is the tea-party convention
 
2012-08-08 09:54:35 AM  

LasersHurt: There'll be rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con men, indian agents, mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shiat kickers, and methodists!


Seriously, fark my life.
 
2012-08-08 09:54:51 AM  
coeyagi: There'll be neoconservatives, tea partiers, libertarians, paleoconservatives, palinconservatives (with special hoverround seating areas), Truthers, Birthers, Birchers, Besmirchers, Randians, Rands, Tards (of the kick-ass variety), full retards, mongoloids and every Venn diagram combination you can think of.

pfft, lack of diversity my ass.


I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shiat-kickers and Methodists.
 
2012-08-08 09:55:32 AM  
The Eskimos have 50 different words for Republican.
 
2012-08-08 09:56:22 AM  
Don't forget the sportos and motor heads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads, all trying to convince themselves that Mitt's a righteous dude.
 
2012-08-08 09:56:30 AM  
wouldn't just "50 shades of grey" have worked in the headline?
 
2012-08-08 09:56:58 AM  
I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shiat-kickers and Methodists.
 
2012-08-08 09:57:20 AM  

sprawl15: I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shiat-kickers and Methodists.

 
2012-08-08 09:58:30 AM  
Bye, everybody.
 
2012-08-08 09:59:04 AM  

sprawl15: I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shiat-kickers and Methodists.


/doing my part
 
2012-08-08 09:59:58 AM  
Aliens, Nazis, reverse Vampires, ghouls, goblins, hobgoblins, dwarves, ogres, Mexicans, wraiths, orcs, werewolves, Sasquatches, David Bowie.
 
2012-08-08 10:00:25 AM  
Hey guys. Has anyone seen Blazing Saddles?
 
2012-08-08 10:01:10 AM  
Allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters, trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters, walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires, BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers, picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters, paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters, kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables, hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles
 
2012-08-08 10:02:03 AM  

Because People in power are Stupid: [img.photobucket.com image 350x262]


You've got a point. We've got the numbers; we should stand up and do something about it.

I'll get the torches, you get the pitchforks.
 
2012-08-08 10:04:13 AM  
As long as we're piling on, here's the famous Kos rant:

Murdering, Lying, Thieving, Rat-F*** Republican Pieces of Sub-Amphibian Sh**...

...mendacious, death-loving, frothing, lamprey-mouthed, inhuman, abominable, atrocious, verminous, rapacious, sadistic, bullying, invasive, grasping, psychopathic, twisted, warped, animalistic, belly-crawling, mouth-breathing, illiterate, innumerate, know-nothing, imbecilic, sheep-raping, horror movie extras masturbating into wads of money while fantasizing about war collateral damage...(inhale)...puppy-torturing, vacuous, mindless, nihilistic, evil, diseased, soulless, morally bankrupt, greedy, insecure, envious, kleptomaniac charnel-house mascots stewing in universal hatred for all life...(inhale)...toxic, ugly, bestial, humorless, loveless, compassionless, demonic human-shaped ruins forever slouching toward Bethlehem in search of some fresh nightmare to wreak on the defenseless via other people's money and heroism...(inhale)...Satanic monkey-shiat-throwing, cowardly, chickenhawkish, parasitic, baby's-candy-stealing, wife-beating, minority-purging, syphilitic Confederate poltergeists with erectile dysfunction...

...perverse, prurient, crocodile-eyed, necrophiliac mass-producers of human misery and gleeful destroyers of truth, justice, and the American way...sepulchre-hearted human deserts walking the Earth only to look for more victims...silly, stupid, ignorant bastards proud of every good thing they've never done, every person they've never been considerate toward, every fact they've never learned and will never acknowledge, and every virtue they will never possess or even attempt to comprehend...preternaturally drunken, bleary-eyed, zombie-like, empty vessels who wander aimlessly until given instruction by their masters...unthinking, unquestioning, unfeeling diabolus ex machina mockeries of the human condition, perpetually acting out a burlesque of the basest and least interesting psychological dysfunctions...

...face-chewing, self-devouring, medieval barbarian museum dioramas and depraved Nazi homunculi preserved in formaldehyde to frighten children...sick, ominous, loathsome, Nosferatu-impersonating Gollum-acolytes feasting on the flesh of our society while complaining about its taste...tax-evading, sommelier-abusing, election-buying, yacht-aficionado hemmorhoids flying flags of convenience and berating their six-year-old Chinese employees for requesting bathroom breaks...

Republicans, you vile, repulsive, scum. You're not leading this country. You're not contributing to this country. You're not even part of this country. You are the maggot-ridden rot that arises in this country's damaged flesh; you are the vultures constantly picking at us to see if we're weak enough yet to become your next meal; you create problems where none would otherwise exist, just to further weaken America and quicken your own insatiable appetites; you are garbage, and you are traitors. And you are not welcome in this country anymore.
 
2012-08-08 10:04:15 AM  
They gonna have teleprompters?
 
2012-08-08 10:04:20 AM  
Hey, has anyone mentioned rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shiat-kickers and Methodists?
 
2012-08-08 10:04:55 AM  
Nikki Haley may be wrinkly and (semi-)old, but I'm fairly certain she is neither a man nor white.

// also not blah
// also doesn't have a funny name, right Nimrata?
 
2012-08-08 10:04:56 AM  
Macerated tomatoes.
 
2012-08-08 10:05:38 AM  

REO-Weedwagon: The Eskimos have 50 different words for Republican.


...all of them unprintable.
 
2012-08-08 10:05:46 AM  
Cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sacks of monkey shiat! Hallelujah! Holy shiat! Where's the Tylenol?
 
2012-08-08 10:06:31 AM  
Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.
 
2012-08-08 10:07:40 AM  

monoski: mayIFark: more like 50 shades of wackos.

That is the tea-party convention


Having been to a GOP convention (in '04), maylFark is completely correct.

Its like ComicCon, only for people with no imagination.
 
2012-08-08 10:07:44 AM  
It's a motley crew. But with the GOP going through a pitched battle for ideological purity on the primary campaign trail, it's unclear whether everyone will be able to play nice in such a high-charged environment.

Oh please. That whole convention is going to be orchestrated to the Nth degree. Every word every speaker says is going to reviewed, edited, re-reviewed, sanitized, fact-checked, and approved before ever going out over the speakers.
 
2012-08-08 10:08:15 AM  
But by exposing some of the divisions in the GOP on the national stage, some longstanding Republican family feuds could spill out into the public.

Man, that would be awesome. And I don't just mean from a schadenfreude perspective either. Political parties need to be open about their internal disagreements and diverse viewpoints. We need to be willing to have internal and external dialogues about priorities, policies, opinions, plans, and so on. It would really f*cking help quell this intense team mentality that can't be bothered to do anything cooperatively except make sure the other team loses. Because that sure as sh*t ain't doing anything for the country in the long run. And for the Republican party especially, when any strong expression that isn't down the party line gets you labeled as a RINO, gets you kicked out, or makes you feel so uncomfortable that you leave the party, maybe that kind of public display of antipathy and disagreement will be what saves them as a party.
 
2012-08-08 10:08:27 AM  

HeartBurnKid: Because People in power are Stupid: [img.photobucket.com image 350x262]

You've got a point. We've got the numbers; we should stand up and do something about it.

I'll get the torches, you get the pitchforks.


No, because Jesus said the HNIC is the problem, not Wall Street and the other corporate interests and the incumbents who would never do shiat to stop them. Jesus would never lie.
 
2012-08-08 10:09:00 AM  
I like hubcaps, I like laundry, I like waffles, I like antfarms
I like recess picnics, and eatin' pork and beans
I like tinfoil and bowties
I like cardboard and moon pies
When I'm soaking in the bathtub, I like shootin' submarines
Shootin' submarines
I like Snoopy, I like Droopy, I like Charles Nelson Reilly
I like Hee-Haw, Fat Albert, and I also like corn
I like cornflakes, corndogs
I like corn bread and cornstarch
I like the band Korn and popcorn, I like all kinds of corn
ALL KINDS OF CORN!
 
2012-08-08 10:09:06 AM  

sprawl15: Cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sacks of monkey shiat! Hallelujah! Holy shiat! Where's the Tylenol?


Thanks Clark!
 
2012-08-08 10:09:33 AM  

sprawl15: Cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sacks of monkey shiat! Hallelujah! Holy shiat! Where's the Tylenol?


You forgot ugly, lazy, and disrespectful.
 
2012-08-08 10:09:45 AM  

vernonFL: All the nation's religions will be represented: Southern Baptist, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Methodist, Pentecostal AND Charismatics.


Religion is actually one of the categories in which the GOP is more diverse than the Democratic party.
 
2012-08-08 10:09:45 AM  

Because People in power are Stupid: [img.photobucket.com image 350x262]


Ok, just because the slaves have outnumbered the slave owners doesn't mean they aren't oppressed.
 
2012-08-08 10:10:29 AM  

Dr Dreidel: Nikki Haley may be wrinkly and (semi-)old, but I'm fairly certain she is neither a man nor white.


But she is Sikh, so she might be dodging bullets.

/too soon?
 
2012-08-08 10:11:16 AM  

wedun: vernonFL: All the nation's religions will be represented: Southern Baptist, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Methodist, Pentecostal AND Charismatics.

Religion is actually one of the categories in which the GOP is more diverse than the Democratic party.


o_O
 
2012-08-08 10:12:40 AM  
images.wikia.com

How Diverse the Republicans imagine themselves.

Reality:

images.publicradio.org
 
2012-08-08 10:13:27 AM  

qorkfiend: There'll be eggshell, tope, pearl, smoke, snow, frost...


They say taupe is very soothing.
 
2012-08-08 10:15:58 AM  
wow, wasn't expecting to get the insta-green for this
 
Displayed 50 of 94 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report