If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Calgary Herald)   American cop visiting Canada upset that he had to interact with strangers rather than shoot them   (calgaryherald.com) divider line 121
    More: Asinine, Nose Hill Park, Benjamin Millepied, Americans, Lord Jesus Christ, Calgary Herald, Prime Minister Stephen Harper, stampedes, Northern Gateway  
•       •       •

17228 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Aug 2012 at 9:22 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-08-07 10:30:36 PM
13 votes:
Hold on, I had to use Google Translate between American and Canadian to understand the article properly. Here goes:

I recently visited a better place in the world, coming from practically the worst place in the world. As a power hungry control freak for 20 years, it feels strange not to carry my prosthetic manhood everywhere I go. Many would say I have no need to carry one in a place that actually has its shiat together.

Yet the police cannot protect everyone all the time, particularly when I don't have my stable of armed bullies to back me up. A man should be al-lowed to protect himself if the need arises, and should look for any excuse, no matter how benign, to overreact obscenely. The need for dramatic hyperbole arose immediately after I was scared by someone trying to talk to me in a park, forcing me to make an acrobatic leap to conclusions, and speculate about the worst of humanity within my soul and projecting it on others around me instead. Just as it had in a theatre in Aurora, Colo., as well as a college campus in Canada - I'll conveniently overlook the fact that the obscenely overreacting stains on the taint of society were the ones brandishing weapons in the first place.

Recently, while out for a walk in a place that looks like this, in broad daylight on a paved trail, two young men approached my wife and me and must have been among the absolute worst, hardened criminal scum because if you're going to commit a crime, doing it in plain view of everyone else only proves they had the worst of motives. The men stepped in front of us, then made a completely innocuous statement which I had to interpret as aggressive so I'd have a story to tell back home about how bad socialism worked out for those commie frenchies across the border.

We ignored them. The two moved closer, repeating themselves, because only horrible people outright refuse to acknowledge others.

I quickly moved between these two and my wife, trying to inflate both my chest and testicles, replying like a typical rude tourist who's had too many personal rights and never once considered those of others. They looked bewildered, because again, only horrible people behave this way, and we then walked past them, somehow remaining unmolested despite standing up to these Charles-Manson-esque master criminals who clearly wanted to rape and murder everyone they saw that day.

I speculate they did not have good intentions because everyone else must be as much a misanthrope as I, if not worse, when they approached in such an aggressive, disrespectful and menacing manner unlike in my hometown, where everyone clutches concealed weapons and shats themselves in fear when a shadow crosses the sun. I thank a benevolent entity whose examples I try to defile daily that they did not pull a weapon of some sort, because I can only assume they had one because otherwise, I'm the arsehole in this story, and that I must have scared them off with my upright and manly Clint Eastwood impersonation plus my pure God-Blessed-American testicular fortitude.

Would we not expect a uniformed officer to blatantly intervene in an arbitrarily half-assed manner, pulling his or her weapon on random people in a public park, particularly when they have no idea what the hell is going on? Why then should the expectation be lower for a citizen of Canada or a visitor? Wait, I know - it's because in Canada, only the criminals and the police carry handguns, and I masturbate vigorously in anticipation of the day their society is as irrevocably farked up as mine is.

God Bless America, Jesus, Crying Eagles, and President Mitt Romney.
2012-08-07 08:47:34 PM
11 votes:
You're in Calgary, somebody asks you if you're going to the Stampede and your first reaction is to wish you had a gun? What the frigging frack is wrong with some people?
2012-08-07 08:40:23 PM
10 votes:
what a farking moron. OH MY GOD SOMEONE SAID SOMETHING TO YOU HOLY HELL IN A HANDBASKET WHY CAN'T I HAVE A GUN?!

Get bent and stay the fark out of my country.
2012-08-07 06:24:47 PM
8 votes:
Once again, it becomes nigh-impossible to tell the real American Christian Nutjobs from satirical ones.

/Note: This post is in reference to a very specific subset of Christians in America - the Nutjobs. This guy is a Nutjob. A Christian who says "Merry Christmas" to me instead of "Happy Holidays" is not a nutjob.
2012-08-07 06:23:20 PM
8 votes:
I thank the Lord Jesus Christ they did not pull a weapon of some sort,

Thank goodness those people sensed life threatening danger and avoided this delusional gun toting yahoo.
2012-08-07 06:22:21 PM
8 votes:
Toting around a loaded gun is a crime in Canada*.

Don't like it, stay the f*ck home.

* with a few reasonable exceptions
2012-08-07 06:40:09 PM
6 votes:
A man should be al-lowed to protect himself if the need arises. The need arose in a theatre in Aurora, Colo

Aaaand that's where I stopped reading.
2012-08-07 11:02:47 PM
5 votes:
My older brother is like this. He is ex military and got his concealed carry permit. He takes his gun everywhere that it's legal for him to do it. He had it in a holster on his back at my sons birthday party at a playworld place. Nothing but a bunch of kids under 10 years old, but he thinks he needs it all the time. He also won't ride in a car with anyone because he has to be in control all the time. He won't get in an elevator either. Kind of a dumbass sometimes.

I've had idiots approach me more times that I can count. Nothing has happened. Normally they are just idiots that are drunk or a little high.

Cops, even off duty have to be in control. I have been around enough of them to see that they are all the same. They want to be in charge of every situation even if they are off duty and it's none of their business. A couple arguing in Target about what cereal they should get. An off duty detective gets in between them and starts getting aggressive and pushy with the husband. He didn't identify himself and was trying to get the guy to hit him. The wife told him to fark off and he got really pissed and pulled out his badge. The couple had not even raised their voices they were just having a disagreement about cereal and the cop was trying to escalate it into assaulting an officer. There was a big crowd by now and we all told him to go fark himself and several people were taking video on their phones. Several asked for his name and badge number to file a complaint but he just took off out of the store and didn't answer anyone.

A police officer has to be in charge and has to have a weapon out to feel like he/she is in control. Pepper spray, taser or firearm, doesn't matter. They have to be on top of every situation. Even when they are not at work and need to mind their own business. I think weekly therapy sessions should be mandatory for all law enforcement and at the first hint of a psychological problem they should be taken off of patrol. There is a lot of mental illness in law enforcement. Nearly everyone I have ever met has been so aggressive you can feel it. Especially when they are dealing with someone much weaker than them. Just look at all the videos of cops being super aggressive to kids skateboarding or loitering. A couple of 13 year old kids are the perfect thing for a cop to take his anger out on. They cant hurt him and are likely not to complain and get them in trouble.

Law enforcement officer will have their gun out even in situations that it's not needed. They will tell you it's a tool to help them protect themselves and others around them. They will give you the old "it's better to have it out and not need it than to need it and not have it out" bullshiat. Even when they are dealing with kids. They want an excuse to hit someone, pepper spray them or tase them. They have an over powering need to be the most powerful one around every minute of their lives.
2012-08-07 10:09:43 PM
5 votes:
In the US, things are done differently than in Canada, and that is for Americans to decide.

In Canada, things are done differently than in the US, and that is for Canadians to decide.¸

Thanks for being great neighbors. Thanks for saying "We're here for you if you need us." instead of "You're doing it wrong.". Thanks for being America, the best neighbor any country could ever want.

To the guy who is implying that we as Canadians should develop the habit of carrying guns I'll say the following: "Thanks for sharing your opinion, but that'S not how we roll. Enjoy your stay."
2012-08-08 12:31:36 AM
4 votes:
Dear Canada -

Our apologies for this jackass. We didn't realize he'd slipped out while we weren't looking.

Sincerely,

All the sane people in America.
2012-08-07 10:02:57 PM
4 votes:
quickly moved between these two and my wife, replying, "Gentle-men, I have no need to talk with you, goodbye." They looked bewildered, and we then walked past them.

I heard them call me a douche-bag as we walked away, but I'm leaving that out of the article because I am one.
2012-08-07 09:54:27 PM
4 votes:

Farktastic: I live within walking distance of Nose Hill, and go to it often.

Not only do I want this farktard of a cop out of my park, I want him out of my country. Someone asks you if you have been to Stampede, and you want to pull a gun on him? Take your Jesus praising gun fondling ass and get the fark back to your southern hellhole.

Maybe you should talk to the Calgary Police about how to do your job without your goddamn finger on the trigger. They seem to be able to do keep the peace with people who aggressively ask if you've been to Stampede without pulling a gun.


You should send this on to whatever authorities are proper in Canada. Talk about how as a local you feel this guy is undesirable to let across the border since he's clearly paranoid and all that. Maybe start with the Calgary Police and hope this pisses them off and they pass it up the chain. It would a fitting reward for Wawra to spend five agents stuck at a border post while some Canadian Border Agents toss his car to check for a smuggled weapon next time he tries to head north.

/as a resident of the east side of Michigan, I'm apologizing for that crazy westside of course
2012-08-07 09:16:50 PM
4 votes:
Here's the thing, farkstick.

Canada isn't your country. You don't like not being able to carry a handgun? Then don't come here.

rynthetyn: You're in Calgary, somebody asks you if you're going to the Stampede and your first reaction is to wish you had a gun? What the frigging frack is wrong with some people?


Aggressively. They asked AGGRESSIVELY.
2012-08-07 09:04:19 PM
4 votes:
Hey Kalamazoo... Feel safer knowing this guy is serving and protecting you?

A couple of guys, (possibly beer fuelled, but whatever officer who should have at some point had some training in dealing with humans other that with the gun he didn't have...) come up to you in a park in the city that hosts Stampede, during Stampede, and ask if you've been yet and you feel threatened by that?!?

Yup, I'd feel safer.
2012-08-08 12:21:40 AM
3 votes:

noblewolf: Surool: Awwww. Did the poor little guy feel naked without his penis substitute?

This amuses me, because I'm sure your one of the people who say only Police should have guns. And this was a police offer, just not from Canada. So what is your farking issue? Is he just not qualified to protect himself and others in Canada?

/fricken retard


It amuses me, because I didn't say any of that? I think he's a tool because he feels so easily threatened when he doesn't have a gun on him. I don't think only the police should have guns, and that isn't what this article is about. I know you get tired waiting for somebody to say the right thing to unleash your pre-packaged anti-gun control script, but next time wait until your response is somewhat appropriate. Also find somebody who wants to put more restrictions on guns.

/fricken retard
2012-08-07 11:44:23 PM
3 votes:

kvinesknows: God his wife would be an absolutely insanely good fark. who cares how old she is, you know she is in damn fine shape because that asshole belittles her all the time, she would just explode in the sack given the chance



I bet he's ripped her back passage up something beyond use though, what with the weekly bum-nasty.


www.hotflick.net
2012-08-07 11:20:29 PM
3 votes:

wingnut396: If fact, I have wandered alone and in small groups around many places outside the US. I can't remember anytime I have ever felt threatened. The 'closest' was a rowdy football pub in Glasgow. But we had a few brews, found out when to yell enthusiactically, and it was a great time.

It is truly sad that many Americans are simply just pussies in the depths of their heart. Yes there are terrible people out there, but by an large, most folks are good and are not looking to harm anyone. Just stay out the obviously shady areas and keep your wits about. Its really not too hard.


Oh, for sure. I've wandered around by myself all over the world, gotten hopelessly lost in places where I spoke none of the language and had to rely on the kindness of strangers to point me in the right direction, and the biggest issue I've ever had was people being annoying trying to sell me crap. Don't do anything stupid and you're fine, yet everywhere I've gone I've come across Americans looking hilariously terrified and clutching their bags as if they're surrounded by Somali pirates or something.
2012-08-07 11:19:21 PM
3 votes:
Yeah - they sounded like a couple of real psychopaths - engaging strangers in conversation and all. I'm sure if they'd been wearing hoodies and carrying Skittles, Mr. Second Amendment would have shiat his pants.

Proof once again - if you're that uncomfortable without your concealed weapon, you're a farking pussy. I'll send you a nice Marc Jacobs purse that you can hide a gun in, Samantha.
2012-08-07 11:09:58 PM
3 votes:
As a Canadian travelling through the USA I have encountered more than a few men like this in the past week.

I can't help it. My natural inclination is to say "hey, howzit goin'?" when I pass a stranger on the street or at least to say "hi". I keep reminding myself not to do it but it just comes out automatically. The typical response seems to be "don't make eye contact and move away".

Haven't been shot at. Yet.

I like you, America, but you are a strange people in a lot of ways.

/posted from a cheap motel with crappy wifi in the southeastern corner of South Dakota
2012-08-07 11:00:52 PM
3 votes:
It horrifies me to think that some asshole who is just itching for a chance to "stand his ground" is allowed to have a badge and a gun. We need exactly zero cops like this out on the streets. :/

'merica, fark yeah.
2012-08-07 10:35:44 PM
3 votes:
Funnily enough, the main argument in the UK - rather than arming the police - is how we need more female officers, ideally one in every police pairing, because they are statistically much better at defusing situations, especially with drunks.

Imagine that! A police force aimed at minimising danger rather than shooting people.
2012-08-07 10:22:08 PM
3 votes:

KrispyKritter: i question the legitimacy of the author. don't believe the tone of the story. it doesn't read with words that a law enforcement person would utilize.


If you google the name, you'll find a very convincing long trail of high class Christian gun-nut Derp, and a photo of the fine gentleman from an article at the Kalamazoo Gazette which perfectly matches his description.

blog.mlive.com


If he's not real, it's very long and well made hoax indeed.
2012-08-07 10:09:06 PM
3 votes:
So police officers tend to lose confidence when they lose their guns?
/Cooked a meal for a mormon police chief of a small town and his wife recently. Over the meal they drank lemonade while I drank bourbon, we managed to have a great conversation about all kind of controversial subjects while disagreeing. When I mentioned that the average recruit and police culture were dangerous and irrational he dropped his head and said "I know, I try to weed it out but it seems the only people that want to be cops now are assholes".
2012-08-07 10:08:54 PM
3 votes:
I guess it is not a joke. Googling his name first brings up the white pages-
further down is this article.... It's the same guy, you can smell it quite easily.

Obama disrespected Officer Eric Zapata by inviting rapper to the White House (letter)
by Walt Wawra/Kalamazoo

part of letter...
It is my desire to give you an example of the poor judgment our President has used so you may judge his actions for yourself. If we truly love and honor our President, we will tell him respectfully that his actions were disgraceful, brought shame upon the government and dishonored citizens of the United States of America and the sacrifices our police officers make for us on a daily basis. As Christians, we are called to pray for those in authority over us. I ask you to exercise this command of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give our President wisdom, knowledge and the conviction to live a life of righteousness.
2012-08-07 10:05:21 PM
3 votes:
My dog and I were approached on that very same hill by an elderly couple during a visit to Calgary. They said things like, "Hello" and, "Hope you have a great day." It was a terrifying experience. It never even occurred to me that I could, or should, just shoot 'em. Guess I got lucky. That time.
2012-08-07 09:59:10 PM
3 votes:
This is pretty much how I picture life to be for all the open-carry and conceal-carry tough guys here on fark when they're devoid of their security blanket.
2012-08-07 09:55:24 PM
3 votes:
Maybe someone should inform the Canadian Border Services Agency about this guy. I don't know enough about their laws, but perhaps they could make it so this guy can never visit Canada again.
2012-08-07 09:52:24 PM
3 votes:

loonatic112358: was that just a really bad parody, or just idiocy in the opinion pages?


It's freaking scary that we CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE between parody and what these dolts might actually say.

Seriously. When a parody sounds like reality and reality sounds like parody, it's time to get out of the pool.
2012-08-07 09:50:55 PM
3 votes:
I am Canadian, I do not live in fear. Many here are Christian, many are of other faiths. It matters not. That this 'man' needs his soother (off-duty piece) to walk in the park is a sadder commentary on American life than someone who hates the place could ever dream up. What a farking nut bar. They LET this man be armed? The concept of being unable to deal with a couple of goofballs as a peace officer of any kind is beyond my imagination. He just sounds like a frightened little boy. Go home to mama, have some apple pie, we do not need you.
2012-08-07 09:37:27 PM
3 votes:

tjfly: As you all pass judgement and ignore the more salient points this police,an makes! Can any of you find any evidence that this 'kook' who has been a cop for 20 years has ever shot his gun?

Of course not.


Using is irrelevant, that his first instinct, above all others, was 'wish I had my gun' is that of someone that should not be in a job that allows him to carry one.
2012-08-07 07:47:06 PM
3 votes:
Y'know, I really thought, going in, that the headline was hyperbole. And I was wrong. Wow.
2012-08-07 06:11:28 PM
3 votes:
I hope this is fake.
What a farkin' nutjob. They need to take away his gun and get his ass a desk job when he gets back home.
Dumbass.
2012-08-08 12:46:44 PM
2 votes:

Jesus Burnt My Hotdog: "Yes, Walt Wawra is a real person. No, the letter we published from him Tuesday, about the "confrontation" he and his wife had with two Calgarians in Nose Hill Park, was not a hoax. The fact that so many readers have written in, or posted comments online, wondering if it was for real, speaks volumes about the cultural differences between Canadians and Americans. It gives the lie to those who say that Canadians are no different than Americans."


More accurately, it speaks volumes about the cultural differences between sane people (both American and Canadian) and Walt Wawra.

/don't paint us all with this brush please!
2012-08-08 12:17:28 AM
2 votes:
I scrolled to the end of the thread looking for the proof that this is satire.
Where is my damned proof!
I refuse to accept that this is real, not even in America.
2012-08-08 12:07:29 AM
2 votes:

XveryYpettyZ: Travel to Minnesota, you'll feel pretty at home. My girlfriend gets on me for greeting strangers in Michigan.


I wish I could, but there's whisky and pork calling my name in Tennessee and Kentucky and I've already "wasted" too much time in WA, ID, MT, WY and SD. Going to take I-27 south as soon as I'm in Sioux Falls, SD and try to get as close to the Mason-Dixon line as I can tomorrow.

"Wasted" is in quotes because I'm having the best time and I've seen some amazing beautiful things.
2012-08-07 11:19:49 PM
2 votes:

insertsnarkyusername: So police officers tend to lose confidence when they lose their guns?
/Cooked a meal for a mormon police chief of a small town and his wife recently. Over the meal they drank lemonade while I drank bourbon, we managed to have a great conversation about all kind of controversial subjects while disagreeing. When I mentioned that the average recruit and police culture were dangerous and irrational he dropped his head and said "I know, I try to weed it out but it seems the only people that want to be cops now are assholes".


This.
2012-08-07 11:13:20 PM
2 votes:

noblewolf: Surool: Awwww. Did the poor little guy feel naked without his penis substitute?

This amuses me, because I'm sure your one of the people who say only Police should have guns. And this was a police offer, just not from Canada. So what is your farking issue? Is he just not qualified to protect himself and others in Canada?

/fricken retard


no. no he is not. Stay the fark home
2012-08-07 11:03:02 PM
2 votes:
What a friggin tool. I spent two week in Calgary, off McCleod Trail, for work. While your food was not all that great (its better than the Dutch), the hospitality was fine. I roamed around at night, drove to Banff for the weekend, hung out at few bar/grills in the area around my hotel and office. Not once did I find anyone threatening.

If fact, I have wandered alone and in small groups around many places outside the US. I can't remember anytime I have ever felt threatened. The 'closest' was a rowdy football pub in Glasgow. But we had a few brews, found out when to yell enthusiactically, and it was a great time.

It is truly sad that many Americans are simply just pussies in the depths of their heart. Yes there are terrible people out there, but by an large, most folks are good and are not looking to harm anyone. Just stay out the obviously shady areas and keep your wits about. Its really not too hard.
2012-08-07 10:44:22 PM
2 votes:
This is too weird. I was one of the guys in the park. My cousin Ricky and I had a couple of Stampede tickets we weren't going to need, so we were asking people at the park if they'd been there yet. We walked up to some old guy who looked just like the guy in Bungle's pic, and this guy went ballistic on us when we asked. His eyes bugged out, his neck veins got all swollen, and he went off on us as he pushed his wife behind us. He said a lot more shiat than he says in TFA. Ricky and I were all like "Whatever, dude", so we kept walking. Too weird.
2012-08-07 10:13:47 PM
2 votes:

Luckily a photo was taken of Mr and Mrs Wawra's reaction to these ruffians.

img.metro.co.uk
2012-08-07 10:12:13 PM
2 votes:
I'm forcing my brain to think that he's the Steven Colbert of police officers and he's making it his job to expose all the ridiculous thoughts an overzealous cop might think.

But the part of my brain that thinks this guy was a security guard who's uncle got him a job as a cop is winning.
2012-08-07 10:10:50 PM
2 votes:
I quickly moved between these two and my wife, replying, "Gentle-men, I have no need to talk with you, goodbye." They looked bewildered, and we then walked past them.

Let's see, 2 drunk kids trying to chat up some strangers. The strangers go all weird, so the kids look bewildered and carry on. Yeah, sounds like firearms were needed.
2012-08-07 10:04:50 PM
2 votes:

sno man: Hey Kalamazoo... Feel safer knowing this guy is serving and protecting you?

A couple of guys, (possibly beer fuelled, but whatever officer who should have at some point had some training in dealing with humans other that with the gun he didn't have...) come up to you in a park in the city that hosts Stampede, during Stampede, and ask if you've been yet and you feel threatened by that?!?

Yup, I'd feel safer.


I don't live in Kalamazoo, but I live in Michigan. I don't feel safe being in the same state as this nut. If you think you need a gun every time someone talks to you, you need to seek professional help. Big time.
2012-08-07 09:51:01 PM
2 votes:
I live within walking distance of Nose Hill, and go to it often.

Not only do I want this farktard of a cop out of my park, I want him out of my country. Someone asks you if you have been to Stampede, and you want to pull a gun on him? Take your Jesus praising gun fondling ass and get the fark back to your southern hellhole.

Maybe you should talk to the Calgary Police about how to do your job without your goddamn finger on the trigger. They seem to be able to do keep the peace with people who aggressively ask if you've been to Stampede without pulling a gun.
2012-08-07 09:50:11 PM
2 votes:

sno man: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: sno man: Hey Kalamazoo... Feel safer knowing this guy is serving and protecting you?

A couple of guys, (possibly beer fuelled, but whatever officer who should have at some point had some training in dealing with humans other that with the gun he didn't have...) come up to you in a park in the city that hosts Stampede, during Stampede, and ask if you've been yet and you feel threatened by that?!?

Yup, I'd feel safer.

You're assuming that the guy even had any awareness of what was going on in the city he was visiting. Sounds like your stereotypical "horrible American tourist" to me.

It should come as no surprise to anyone who has been paying attention that the American conservative's mind views its world through the lens of omnipresent fear.

I've been to Calgary... Other that to visit family, and proximity to Banff, Stampede is the only reason to go. And that he was there at the same time... maybe coincidence, but my gods, why would you go ANYWHERE without knowing at least a little of what might be happening there while you're there?


I live in Calgary, and really can't argue with this. It's mostly unremarkable.

Also, things like this are why the rest of the world thinks americans are crazy.
2012-08-07 09:48:39 PM
2 votes:
I'm praying someone proves this a hoax. I'm well aware there are crazy people of this caliber in no short supply, but seeing them spewing their crazy in a major newspaper still makes me cringe.
2012-08-07 09:42:34 PM
2 votes:
Google Walt Wawra. Walt is either a real piece of work, or an alias for someone trying to make a certain group look even more foolish.
2012-08-07 09:38:52 PM
2 votes:
I am a Poe's law victim here. I cannot tell if it real or satire. I am through the lookingglass.
2012-08-07 09:37:17 PM
2 votes:
Jesus Christ, protect me from your followers...
2012-08-07 09:36:29 PM
2 votes:
The guy wrote the article not to convert anyone to his point of view, but rather to consolidate an already converted group of people. Preaching to the choir pulls everyone in church that much closer together.
2012-08-07 09:36:10 PM
2 votes:

This About That: "Gentle-men, I have no need to talk with you, goodbye."

Oh, yes, this jerkoff should carry a gun at all times.

Unless this is fake, which would be fine with me.


I thought that they taught police officers the skills to talk to people in much more dangerous situations than this. If this did actually happen, it sounds like the men were probably trying to start a comversation that would lead to a hard luck story and some harmless panhandling.
2012-08-07 09:36:10 PM
2 votes:
So, is there some sort of stampede in Calgary.
2012-08-07 09:34:40 PM
2 votes:
was that just a really bad parody, or just idiocy in the opinion pages?
2012-08-07 09:33:57 PM
2 votes:
Is this guy functionally retarded and a Police Officer?
2012-08-07 09:09:55 PM
2 votes:

sno man: Hey Kalamazoo... Feel safer knowing this guy is serving and protecting you?

A couple of guys, (possibly beer fuelled, but whatever officer who should have at some point had some training in dealing with humans other that with the gun he didn't have...) come up to you in a park in the city that hosts Stampede, during Stampede, and ask if you've been yet and you feel threatened by that?!?

Yup, I'd feel safer.


You're assuming that the guy even had any awareness of what was going on in the city he was visiting. Sounds like your stereotypical "horrible American tourist" to me.

It should come as no surprise to anyone who has been paying attention that the American conservative's mind views its world through the lens of omnipresent fear.
2012-08-07 08:11:31 PM
2 votes:
I speculate they did not have good intentions when they approached in such an aggressive, disrespectful and menacing manner. I thank the Lord Jesus Christ they did not pull a weapon of some sort, but rather concluded it was in their best interest to leave us alone.

Aw lawd, shut the fark up.

TsarTom: I took the advice of one of the commenters on the site and googled Walt Wawra


No thanks, after that whole Carreon wife debacle I've crazied myself I out. I can't do it anymore, for a little while at least.

/I've seen some things, man; and some stuff
2012-08-08 07:38:10 PM
1 votes:
And it looks like the two guys in the story were handing out tickets to the Stampede on behalf of some oil company(in the comments). Maybe it was Enbridge and Walt was still pissed about the oil spill in Kalamazoo Enbridge was responsible for?
2012-08-08 01:19:19 PM
1 votes:
Very late to the thread, but this guy's nuts!

As for him "feeling threatened", he didn't say, but I'll bet the gents who asked him about the Stampede (in the park that hosts it, during the event) were ....dark skinned.

Nothing makes a dumpy dork like this shrivel faster than being in conversational distance to a brown person.

/thank goodness he wasn't armed, he would have shot them and claimed he was "standing his ground".
2012-08-08 12:56:40 PM
1 votes:
My wife and I walked into a bar in Kalamazoo once, sat down at the bar. Some stranger on the other side of the bar came up and started asking us questions (we didn't know the guy!). Stuff like "So, what do you want?" . So I shot him.
2012-08-08 11:26:24 AM
1 votes:
2012-08-08 11:07:53 AM
1 votes:

Bill_Wick's_Friend: As a Canadian travelling through the USA I have encountered more than a few men like this in the past week.

I can't help it. My natural inclination is to say "hey, howzit goin'?" when I pass a stranger on the street or at least to say "hi". I keep reminding myself not to do it but it just comes out automatically. The typical response seems to be "don't make eye contact and move away".

Haven't been shot at. Yet.

I like you, America, but you are a strange people in a lot of ways.

/posted from a cheap motel with crappy wifi in the southeastern corner of South Dakota


There is a line from Shakespeare when Henry V says "we are the makers of manners." In the US, we have let the wrong people determine what is accpetable behavior for far too long and it has infected the way we think in just about every possible human interaction. I know far too many people who really seem to believe that every interaction, every conversation, has to have a winner and a loser, a dominant and a submissive party.

For a country founded on the ideals of equality, we are obsessed with working angles and tilting the playfields all the time. The cop in the article isn't content to be a peace officer - he wants to know he has power over other people all the time and anytime he feels he doesn't have it, he feels threatened.
2012-08-08 10:23:36 AM
1 votes:
Non violent conflict resolution is not one of his strong suits apparently. I like to be armed myself but I don't treat every interaction as a potential fight or even threatening. Being wound up that tight is not healthy.
2012-08-08 10:16:28 AM
1 votes:

dandude28: Inquiring minds want to know, did he ever make it to the stampede?


Whoa there Tex. This guy's back in the good ol' US of A now so he has his gun back.

You do not want to ask him if he's been to the stampede yet while he's packing!!
2012-08-08 09:39:42 AM
1 votes:

Phil Moskowitz: rynthetyn: I know two things about Calgary. The first is that their female hockey fans, or at least the ones who will drive/fly cross country to see the Stanley Cup Finals, all have massive fake boobs and a penchant for wearing small shirts, and the second is that the Stampede is a big gigantic deal.

It's Canadian NASCAR, and yes its just as embarrassing.


Screw that! It is the one time each year where getting blitzed by 10AM is socially acceptable, while the rodeo and chucks are effective at pissing the bleeding hearts off.
2012-08-08 09:28:39 AM
1 votes:
A while ago on Slashdot some American was describing how he was flying from Toronto to some point west and noticed that some Canadian soldiers were on the plane, clearly having just been to a Bluejays game as they had souvenirs including bats. Soldiers with bats on the plane. Now that's security.

As to the article, I hope it's a Poe.
2012-08-08 09:25:41 AM
1 votes:

indylaw: "I speculate they did not have good intentions when they approached in such an aggressive, disrespectful and menacing manner."


Lord, it's written like a pig report.


He really should be embarrassed to tell people about his cowardice. The fact that nothing happened proves how unwarranted his fear was.
2012-08-08 03:23:13 AM
1 votes:
One wonders what would happen if this individual's superiors were sent a link to his ramblings. Then one wonders if perhaps they aren't also asshats, since they haven't noticed his excessive stupid and crazy.
2012-08-08 02:43:57 AM
1 votes:

serialsuicidebomber: To be fair, I think those two hoodlums were the two Newfies that are allowed out into the rest of the world once per year (mostly to synchronize their watches ON THE HOUR, rather than half an hour later), so it was their accent that was aggressive, much like two low Germans talking love.


My bad! I clearly posted before it was evident you really were trolling for fun - I've had too much crazy today to tell the difference. Have a Canadian apology on me.
2012-08-08 12:47:52 AM
1 votes:

strutin:

If you had a real profile instead of a very slim...(may i say "alt-ish") profile

I would have sponsered you for that..

must be the lightening tonight..i am crazy..:-)


I'm real, just lurky. Never bothered putting a profile together - did that once but forgot the credentials to the account after a long spell of infarktivity. Thanks for pointing it out though, I probably should fill it out a little.

Just to know someone's laughing is enough, (you too, gordian.). I see no TF tag by your name though, so treat yourself in my honor. ;)
2012-08-08 12:45:06 AM
1 votes:

lohphat: Farking Canuck: How can people stand to live in such a constant state of fear??

It is sickening.

It's called the "conservative mind" -- every action and thought is driven by fear.


I'm not even in a constant state of fear in my very own city (Los Angeles) and I've been told by some of the gun freekz here that I should be and I'm wrong for not feeling that way.
2012-08-08 12:37:55 AM
1 votes:

MBK: Doing a Google search for Walt Wawra makes me think this guy is legit...


and certifiable, too.
2012-08-08 12:33:45 AM
1 votes:

muldoon: what a load of bullshiat. stampede is in the spring, and it is in calgary.


No, it's never in the spring. It's always in the summer time, July actually.
2012-08-08 12:20:49 AM
1 votes:

Fano: ArkAngel: Fake

This seems pretty fakey fake. I mean, Poe's Law says it could be real, but it sure sounds like mild satire.


Have a go at some of the author google links up-thread.
If fake he's been at it a while...
2012-08-08 12:20:32 AM
1 votes:

XveryYpettyZ: blueviking: Bill_Wick's_Friend: As a Canadian travelling through the USA I have encountered more than a few men like this in the past week.

I can't help it. My natural inclination is to say "hey, howzit goin'?" when I pass a stranger on the street or at least to say "hi". I keep reminding myself not to do it but it just comes out automatically. The typical response seems to be "don't make eye contact and move away".

Haven't been shot at. Yet.

I like you, America, but you are a strange people in a lot of ways.

/posted from a cheap motel with crappy wifi in the southeastern corner of South Dakota

You canucks with your aggressive friendliness....

Travel to Minnesota, you'll feel pretty at home. My girlfriend gets on me for greeting strangers in Michigan.


Hmmm, people in Hastings must be farkin' arseholes, then. My dad grew up there, and, under unfortunate circumstances for the Old People (they were living the good life in Las Cruces, NM, and my dad hates cold), had to move back. One of the reasons he and mum enjoyed visiting me in Texas was, while on their walks, people actually responded when they said "how ya doin'?" and didn't even give them the stinkeye.
2012-08-08 12:14:24 AM
1 votes:

XveryYpettyZ: Rev.K: Toting around a loaded gun is a crime in Canada*.

Don't like it, stay the f*ck home.

* with a few reasonable exceptions

FARK YOU.... I live 30 miles from where this whackjob does. I want him as far away from me as possible. Don't you dare discourage him from going to Canada.


Let's split the difference and send him to Manitoba then?
2012-08-08 12:11:01 AM
1 votes:

ArkAngel: Fake


This seems pretty fakey fake. I mean, Poe's Law says it could be real, but it sure sounds like mild satire.
2012-08-07 11:50:43 PM
1 votes:

Rev.K: Toting around a loaded gun is a crime in Canada*.

Don't like it, stay the f*ck home.

* with a few reasonable exceptions


FARK YOU.... I live 30 miles from where this whackjob does. I want him as far away from me as possible. Don't you dare discourage him from going to Canada.
2012-08-07 11:39:46 PM
1 votes:
God his wife would be an absolutely insanely good fark. who cares how old she is, you know she is in damn fine shape because that asshole belittles her all the time, she would just explode in the sack given the chance
2012-08-07 11:22:09 PM
1 votes:
Oh, here he is again

http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/jesus-shaped-update-how-does-the- n ew-testament-speak-of-the-church
2012-08-07 11:18:37 PM
1 votes:

Bill_Wick's_Friend: I can't help it. My natural inclination is to say "hey, howzit goin'?" when I pass a stranger on the street or at least to say "hi". I keep reminding myself not to do it but it just comes out automatically. The typical response seems to be "don't make eye contact and move away".


The best people in America, I find, are the ones working all the shiat jobs. I have had better and more satisfying connections with waiters and waitresses, checkout clerks, even low-level salesweasels than I ever have had with John Q. Public down here.

/That could be in part because I work in Rochester, where the rich asshole quotient is notably high
2012-08-07 11:17:07 PM
1 votes:
Have you been to the stampede yet? Really? That's the phrase that made you piss your pants and weep like a schoolgirl looking at her first cock and curl up in a fetal ball of fear wishing you had your firearm to bring some semblance of manhood back to your person?

This guy has got to be the shiattiest cop in the world.
2012-08-07 11:15:05 PM
1 votes:

dstanley: also:

[www.learner.org image 736x484]


Dammit!

Nice.
2012-08-07 10:55:57 PM
1 votes:

namatad: Wookie Milson: My dog and I were approached on that very same hill by an elderly couple during a visit to Calgary. They said things like, "Hello" and, "Hope you have a great day." It was a terrifying experience. It never even occurred to me that I could, or should, just shoot 'em. Guess I got lucky. That time.

Is it possible he just didnt speak Canadian?
He heard: "stampeed warghallllllllllll rape rape rape"
What they said was: "do you have a phone? out friend is having a heart attack!"

they wandered off because this freak got in their face ... LOL


I was staying with friends, walking distance from the hill, and me and the dog went there everyday to enjoy the view. The fact that it isn't even close to downtown Calgary (and is actually in a very quiet suburb) makes this story extra amusing. It's literally just a big, featureless grassy hill where you'll never find anything more dangerous than mountain-bikers, hikers and dog walkers.
2012-08-07 10:49:05 PM
1 votes:

Aidan: albatros183: http://expatbrian.wordpress.com/2007/07/15/bush-all-hat-and-no-saddle /

Huh. Loonatic's been vindicated. Nice find!


I do my best have had tubes for month until today and DNRTFA glad I can still participate :)
2012-08-07 10:42:12 PM
1 votes:

insertsnarkyusername: So police officers tend to lose confidence when they lose their guns?
/Cooked a meal for a mormon police chief of a small town and his wife recently. Over the meal they drank lemonade while I drank bourbon, we managed to have a great conversation about all kind of controversial subjects while disagreeing. When I mentioned that the average recruit and police culture were dangerous and irrational he dropped his head and said "I know, I try to weed it out but it seems the only people that want to be cops now are assholes".


jesus wept
2012-08-07 10:41:53 PM
1 votes:

Aidan: loonatic112358: albatros183: Whatever it is Alberta they are already such bush wannabee' s, if they could be deported to texass all Canadians would rejoice these people gave us bush north let'em get shot like there ideological brethren

/has relatives in Alberta

you must have not read the article

do they refer to you as the guy who's all hat, and no saddle?

Er. *cough* All hat, no cattle. Haven't heard the "no saddle" version before. Hadn't heard the phrase at all until I moved out of the prairies. Makes me think it's definitely a southern (TX, OK, etc) term.


I can only assume this

http://expatbrian.wordpress.com/2007/07/15/bush-all-hat-and-no-saddle /
2012-08-07 10:40:44 PM
1 votes:

Wookie Milson: My dog and I were approached on that very same hill by an elderly couple during a visit to Calgary. They said things like, "Hello" and, "Hope you have a great day." It was a terrifying experience. It never even occurred to me that I could, or should, just shoot 'em. Guess I got lucky. That time.


Is it possible he just didnt speak Canadian?
He heard: "stampeed warghallllllllllll rape rape rape"
What they said was: "do you have a phone? out friend is having a heart attack!"

they wandered off because this freak got in their face ... LOL
2012-08-07 10:38:10 PM
1 votes:

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: sno man: Hey Kalamazoo... Feel safer knowing this guy is serving and protecting you?

A couple of guys, (possibly beer fuelled, but whatever officer who should have at some point had some training in dealing with humans other that with the gun he didn't have...) come up to you in a park in the city that hosts Stampede, during Stampede, and ask if you've been yet and you feel threatened by that?!?

Yup, I'd feel safer.

You're assuming that the guy even had any awareness of what was going on in the city he was visiting. Sounds like your stereotypical "horrible American tourist" to me.

It should come as no surprise to anyone who has been paying attention that the American conservative's mind views its world through the lens of omnipresent fear.


More like hate than fear I think. And we really should find a more suitable term than conservative. They're too radical to be conservatives.
2012-08-07 10:37:19 PM
1 votes:

loonatic112358: albatros183: Whatever it is Alberta they are already such bush wannabee' s, if they could be deported to texass all Canadians would rejoice these people gave us bush north let'em get shot like there ideological brethren

/has relatives in Alberta

you must have not read the article

do they refer to you as the guy who's all hat, and no saddle?


Er. *cough* All hat, no cattle. Haven't heard the "no saddle" version before. Hadn't heard the phrase at all until I moved out of the prairies. Makes me think it's definitely a southern (TX, OK, etc) term.
2012-08-07 10:34:17 PM
1 votes:
What the ACTUAL Fark.

/Moved from Calgary to Michigan
//Fark this farking farknut
2012-08-07 10:25:39 PM
1 votes:
I'd just like to remnd everyone that the only legal reason to even own a hand gun in Canada is for target shooting.
2012-08-07 10:24:44 PM
1 votes:
Okay, serious question time...why was this guy in Canada if he knew he couldn't tote around his gat with him? I assume he was on vacay as he was hauling his old lady around. I know when I plan vacations, permit reciprocity figures (not all that heavily) into the reasoning process.

On a lighter note:
I can only imagine it was this guy
Link (Very NSFW)
2012-08-07 10:22:15 PM
1 votes:

kvinesknows: kids probably smoked many joints and lauhed their asses off telling all their friends that night


No, that night they would have never given it another thought, (although unrelated joints and laughs is a safe bet) hearing about the article on the Herald website would be when the related joints and laughs would have been had.
2012-08-07 10:19:48 PM
1 votes:

Farking Canuck: How can people stand to live in such a constant state of fear??

It is sickening.


my irrational mind fails to comprehend it
2012-08-07 10:17:51 PM
1 votes:
How can people stand to live in such a constant state of fear??

It is sickening.
2012-08-07 10:16:09 PM
1 votes:
i question the legitimacy of the author. don't believe the tone of the story. it doesn't read with words that a law enforcement person would utilize.
2012-08-07 10:13:48 PM
1 votes:
nomoredirtylooks.com
worldbirdinfo.net
2.bp.blogspot.com
2012-08-07 10:09:35 PM
1 votes:

albatros183: Whatever it is Alberta they are already such bush wannabee' s, if they could be deported to texass all Canadians would rejoice these people gave us bush north let'em get shot like there ideological brethren

/has relatives in Alberta


The Calgarian I knew in college would talk about working on a ranch and getting covered from head to toe in blood de-horning cattle. Seems like it would fit right in in Texas.
2012-08-07 10:07:25 PM
1 votes:
Whatever it is Alberta they are already such bush wannabee' s, if they could be deported to texass all Canadians would rejoice these people gave us bush north let'em get shot like there ideological brethren

/has relatives in Alberta
2012-08-07 10:07:08 PM
1 votes:
cdn0.spong.com

www.consoleclassix.com
2012-08-07 10:03:35 PM
1 votes:
Wow, they just stopped and started talking? That is scary.

And asked a question? Even scarier, probably doing research for a terrorist attack or something.

I've said it before but cops sure do scare easy these days. Maybe we should hire brave ones. And refuse them passports.
2012-08-07 10:02:37 PM
1 votes:

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: It should come as no surprise to anyone who has been paying attention that the American conservative's mind views its world through the lens of omnipresent fear.


Quote of the day.

If we ever meet, I will buy you as many beers as you can consume in a sitting.
2012-08-07 09:54:13 PM
1 votes:

Snort: MBK: Doing a Google search for Walt Wawra makes me think this guy is legit...

I did the same thing. Consistent trail of right wing Christian derp.


From the KDPS website
2012-08-07 09:53:46 PM
1 votes:
Awwww. Did the poor little guy feel naked without his penis substitute?
2012-08-07 09:50:22 PM
1 votes:
i36.photobucket.com
2012-08-07 09:49:13 PM
1 votes:
I would sure like to know when this actually took place because the 2nd week of July marked was the 100 ths annual Calgary Stamped Sure would explain why these two guys were "bewildered" when they were asking visitors to the fair city of Calgary if they been to the Stampede and were meet with aggressive American behavior.

/stupid American
2012-08-07 09:48:41 PM
1 votes:

Rodeodoc: The Ugly American strikes again. You Yanks must be so proud of this douche. Sadly, he's not a minority.


There's a certain subset of German tourist that's almost as annoying. The German tourists aren't wishing they could shoot you though, so I guess that's something.
2012-08-07 09:44:39 PM
1 votes:
Been to Calgary during the stampede, sorta by accident, didn't attend. Canucks are outgoing and friendly and start conversations with strangers spontaneously, possibly due to the lack of guns and paucity of hard-core nutters. Go easy on the acronyms with them and talk slowly, and everything will be fine.
2012-08-07 09:43:22 PM
1 votes:
People walk up to me almost daily in Chicago talking all kinds of crazy stuff. Never one did i think a gun is needed right now.
2012-08-07 09:34:26 PM
1 votes:
I'm calling bullshiat. Too perfect with the Aurora stuff and wife protecting. You'll be getting this in an email from your weird uncle but with the words changed to "I'm a stampede ur girl with my negroe stick" and more judo chops that were learned in the Core.
2012-08-07 09:32:35 PM
1 votes:
I know two things about Calgary. The first is that their female hockey fans, or at least the ones who will drive/fly cross country to see the Stanley Cup Finals, all have massive fake boobs and a penchant for wearing small shirts, and the second is that the Stampede is a big gigantic deal.
2012-08-07 09:31:34 PM
1 votes:
would be absolutely AWESOME, if one of those "aggressive" dudes was recording their "attack."
2012-08-07 09:28:25 PM
1 votes:
Wow, what a skittish, cowardly cop. And this guy is usually ARMED? Sounds like a typical dog-shooter.
2012-08-07 09:26:31 PM
1 votes:
Poe Poe POe POE POE POE
2012-08-07 09:25:52 PM
1 votes:

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: sno man: Hey Kalamazoo... Feel safer knowing this guy is serving and protecting you?

A couple of guys, (possibly beer fuelled, but whatever officer who should have at some point had some training in dealing with humans other that with the gun he didn't have...) come up to you in a park in the city that hosts Stampede, during Stampede, and ask if you've been yet and you feel threatened by that?!?

Yup, I'd feel safer.

You're assuming that the guy even had any awareness of what was going on in the city he was visiting. Sounds like your stereotypical "horrible American tourist" to me.

It should come as no surprise to anyone who has been paying attention that the American conservative's mind views its world through the lens of omnipresent fear.


I've been to Calgary... Other that to visit family, and proximity to Banff, Stampede is the only reason to go. And that he was there at the same time... maybe coincidence, but my gods, why would you go ANYWHERE without knowing at least a little of what might be happening there while you're there?
2012-08-07 09:24:40 PM
1 votes:

jekxrb: Here's the thing, farkstick.

Canada isn't your country. You don't like not being able to carry a handgun? Then don't come here.

rynthetyn: You're in Calgary, somebody asks you if you're going to the Stampede and your first reaction is to wish you had a gun? What the frigging frack is wrong with some people?

Aggressively. They asked AGGRESSIVELY.


Dude's American, we don't know anything other than aggressive, it should have made him feel right at home.
2012-08-07 08:39:52 PM
1 votes:

I wouldn't go anywhere near Canada without guns... lots and lots of guns.


i48.tinypic.com
2012-08-07 08:18:14 PM
1 votes:
He should take a trip to England.

State Trooper: Where are you boys from?
Clive Gollings: ...England.
State Trooper: I heard about that place: no guns.
Graeme Willy: Not many...
Clive Gollings: No, not really, just... farmers.
State Trooper: Well how are police supposed to shoot anybody?
Graeme Willy: [Uncomfortable] Well they don't...
Clive Gollings: They- they try not to...
2012-08-07 07:20:59 PM
1 votes:
Fake
2012-08-07 07:07:19 PM
1 votes:

Techhell: A Christian who says "Merry Christmas" to me instead of "Happy Holidays" is not a nutjob.


Merry Holidays.
2012-08-07 06:58:21 PM
1 votes:
I took the advice of one of the commenters on the site and googled Walt Wawra.

Yeah... this guy doesn't need to be carrying any kind of weapon around. They should tape thumbless mittens on him. The man's certifiable.
 
Displayed 121 of 121 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report