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(Calgary Herald)   American cop visiting Canada upset that he had to interact with strangers rather than shoot them   (calgaryherald.com) divider line 261
    More: Asinine, Nose Hill Park, Benjamin Millepied, Americans, Lord Jesus Christ, Calgary Herald, Prime Minister Stephen Harper, stampedes, Northern Gateway  
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17246 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Aug 2012 at 9:22 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-07 10:22:08 PM  

KrispyKritter: i question the legitimacy of the author. don't believe the tone of the story. it doesn't read with words that a law enforcement person would utilize.


If you google the name, you'll find a very convincing long trail of high class Christian gun-nut Derp, and a photo of the fine gentleman from an article at the Kalamazoo Gazette which perfectly matches his description.

blog.mlive.com


If he's not real, it's very long and well made hoax indeed.
 
2012-08-07 10:22:15 PM  

kvinesknows: kids probably smoked many joints and lauhed their asses off telling all their friends that night


No, that night they would have never given it another thought, (although unrelated joints and laughs is a safe bet) hearing about the article on the Herald website would be when the related joints and laughs would have been had.
 
2012-08-07 10:23:00 PM  

albatros183: loonatic112358: albatros183: Whatever it is Alberta they are already such bush wannabee' s, if they could be deported to texass all Canadians would rejoice these people gave us bush north let'em get shot like there ideological brethren

/has relatives in Alberta

you must have not read the article

do they refer to you as the guy who's all hat, and no saddle?

Of course I DNRTFA welcome to FARK

also rynthetyn I should have clarified I have COP relatives in Alberta

/COP hate threat am I wrong?
//Still hate COPS dispite relations


You need to stop knee-jerking off.
 
2012-08-07 10:24:44 PM  
Okay, serious question time...why was this guy in Canada if he knew he couldn't tote around his gat with him? I assume he was on vacay as he was hauling his old lady around. I know when I plan vacations, permit reciprocity figures (not all that heavily) into the reasoning process.

On a lighter note:
I can only imagine it was this guy
Link (Very NSFW)
 
2012-08-07 10:25:39 PM  
I'd just like to remnd everyone that the only legal reason to even own a hand gun in Canada is for target shooting.
 
2012-08-07 10:29:44 PM  

Oafmeel: Okay, serious question time...why was this guy in Canada if he knew he couldn't tote around his gat with him? I assume he was on vacay as he was hauling his old lady around. I know when I plan vacations, permit reciprocity figures (not all that heavily) into the reasoning process.

On a lighter note:
I can only imagine it was this guy
Link (Very NSFW)


maybe his wife wanted to make a trip across the border to exotic canadia, much like some folks used to go across the border to mexico
 
2012-08-07 10:30:36 PM  
Hold on, I had to use Google Translate between American and Canadian to understand the article properly. Here goes:

I recently visited a better place in the world, coming from practically the worst place in the world. As a power hungry control freak for 20 years, it feels strange not to carry my prosthetic manhood everywhere I go. Many would say I have no need to carry one in a place that actually has its shiat together.

Yet the police cannot protect everyone all the time, particularly when I don't have my stable of armed bullies to back me up. A man should be al-lowed to protect himself if the need arises, and should look for any excuse, no matter how benign, to overreact obscenely. The need for dramatic hyperbole arose immediately after I was scared by someone trying to talk to me in a park, forcing me to make an acrobatic leap to conclusions, and speculate about the worst of humanity within my soul and projecting it on others around me instead. Just as it had in a theatre in Aurora, Colo., as well as a college campus in Canada - I'll conveniently overlook the fact that the obscenely overreacting stains on the taint of society were the ones brandishing weapons in the first place.

Recently, while out for a walk in a place that looks like this, in broad daylight on a paved trail, two young men approached my wife and me and must have been among the absolute worst, hardened criminal scum because if you're going to commit a crime, doing it in plain view of everyone else only proves they had the worst of motives. The men stepped in front of us, then made a completely innocuous statement which I had to interpret as aggressive so I'd have a story to tell back home about how bad socialism worked out for those commie frenchies across the border.

We ignored them. The two moved closer, repeating themselves, because only horrible people outright refuse to acknowledge others.

I quickly moved between these two and my wife, trying to inflate both my chest and testicles, replying like a typical rude tourist who's had too many personal rights and never once considered those of others. They looked bewildered, because again, only horrible people behave this way, and we then walked past them, somehow remaining unmolested despite standing up to these Charles-Manson-esque master criminals who clearly wanted to rape and murder everyone they saw that day.

I speculate they did not have good intentions because everyone else must be as much a misanthrope as I, if not worse, when they approached in such an aggressive, disrespectful and menacing manner unlike in my hometown, where everyone clutches concealed weapons and shats themselves in fear when a shadow crosses the sun. I thank a benevolent entity whose examples I try to defile daily that they did not pull a weapon of some sort, because I can only assume they had one because otherwise, I'm the arsehole in this story, and that I must have scared them off with my upright and manly Clint Eastwood impersonation plus my pure God-Blessed-American testicular fortitude.

Would we not expect a uniformed officer to blatantly intervene in an arbitrarily half-assed manner, pulling his or her weapon on random people in a public park, particularly when they have no idea what the hell is going on? Why then should the expectation be lower for a citizen of Canada or a visitor? Wait, I know - it's because in Canada, only the criminals and the police carry handguns, and I masturbate vigorously in anticipation of the day their society is as irrevocably farked up as mine is.

God Bless America, Jesus, Crying Eagles, and President Mitt Romney.
 
2012-08-07 10:33:09 PM  
He wanted to see exotic Calgary, the jewel of Western Canada. He wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of a laid back culture and...kill them.
 
2012-08-07 10:34:17 PM  
What the ACTUAL Fark.

/Moved from Calgary to Michigan
//Fark this farking farknut
 
2012-08-07 10:35:08 PM  

BMFPitt: He wanted to see exotic Calgary, the jewel of Western Canada. He wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of a laid back culture and...kill them.


Walt only a pawn in game of life.
 
2012-08-07 10:35:44 PM  
Funnily enough, the main argument in the UK - rather than arming the police - is how we need more female officers, ideally one in every police pairing, because they are statistically much better at defusing situations, especially with drunks.

Imagine that! A police force aimed at minimising danger rather than shooting people.
 
2012-08-07 10:36:58 PM  

rynthetyn: You're in Calgary, somebody asks you if you're going to the Stampede and your first reaction is to wish you had a gun? What the frigging frack is wrong with some people?

www.testmeat.co.uk

Their fear is real, even when it's not. They need their own personal bubble.
 
2012-08-07 10:37:19 PM  

loonatic112358: albatros183: Whatever it is Alberta they are already such bush wannabee' s, if they could be deported to texass all Canadians would rejoice these people gave us bush north let'em get shot like there ideological brethren

/has relatives in Alberta

you must have not read the article

do they refer to you as the guy who's all hat, and no saddle?


Er. *cough* All hat, no cattle. Haven't heard the "no saddle" version before. Hadn't heard the phrase at all until I moved out of the prairies. Makes me think it's definitely a southern (TX, OK, etc) term.
 
2012-08-07 10:38:10 PM  

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: sno man: Hey Kalamazoo... Feel safer knowing this guy is serving and protecting you?

A couple of guys, (possibly beer fuelled, but whatever officer who should have at some point had some training in dealing with humans other that with the gun he didn't have...) come up to you in a park in the city that hosts Stampede, during Stampede, and ask if you've been yet and you feel threatened by that?!?

Yup, I'd feel safer.

You're assuming that the guy even had any awareness of what was going on in the city he was visiting. Sounds like your stereotypical "horrible American tourist" to me.

It should come as no surprise to anyone who has been paying attention that the American conservative's mind views its world through the lens of omnipresent fear.


More like hate than fear I think. And we really should find a more suitable term than conservative. They're too radical to be conservatives.
 
2012-08-07 10:39:18 PM  

Aidan: Er. *cough* All hat, no cattle. Haven't heard the "no saddle" version before. Hadn't heard the phrase at all until I moved out of the prairies. Makes me think it's definitely a southern (TX, OK, etc) term.


cattle may have been the correct term, my recollection is rather fuzzy
i think i may have jammed a couple of things together in my head and created that
 
2012-08-07 10:40:26 PM  

loonatic112358: Aidan: Er. *cough* All hat, no cattle. Haven't heard the "no saddle" version before. Hadn't heard the phrase at all until I moved out of the prairies. Makes me think it's definitely a southern (TX, OK, etc) term.

cattle may have been the correct term, my recollection is rather fuzzy
i think i may have jammed a couple of things together in my head and created that


Honestly I kind of like it. Makes me think the person is so hopped up on their own awesomesauce that they're about to lose their ass. :)
 
2012-08-07 10:40:27 PM  
Hey Amper - welcome to green.
 
2012-08-07 10:40:44 PM  

Wookie Milson: My dog and I were approached on that very same hill by an elderly couple during a visit to Calgary. They said things like, "Hello" and, "Hope you have a great day." It was a terrifying experience. It never even occurred to me that I could, or should, just shoot 'em. Guess I got lucky. That time.


Is it possible he just didnt speak Canadian?
He heard: "stampeed warghallllllllllll rape rape rape"
What they said was: "do you have a phone? out friend is having a heart attack!"

they wandered off because this freak got in their face ... LOL
 
2012-08-07 10:41:53 PM  

Aidan: loonatic112358: albatros183: Whatever it is Alberta they are already such bush wannabee' s, if they could be deported to texass all Canadians would rejoice these people gave us bush north let'em get shot like there ideological brethren

/has relatives in Alberta

you must have not read the article

do they refer to you as the guy who's all hat, and no saddle?

Er. *cough* All hat, no cattle. Haven't heard the "no saddle" version before. Hadn't heard the phrase at all until I moved out of the prairies. Makes me think it's definitely a southern (TX, OK, etc) term.


I can only assume this

http://expatbrian.wordpress.com/2007/07/15/bush-all-hat-and-no-saddle /
 
2012-08-07 10:42:12 PM  

insertsnarkyusername: So police officers tend to lose confidence when they lose their guns?
/Cooked a meal for a mormon police chief of a small town and his wife recently. Over the meal they drank lemonade while I drank bourbon, we managed to have a great conversation about all kind of controversial subjects while disagreeing. When I mentioned that the average recruit and police culture were dangerous and irrational he dropped his head and said "I know, I try to weed it out but it seems the only people that want to be cops now are assholes".


jesus wept
 
2012-08-07 10:42:46 PM  

loonatic112358: BMFPitt: He wanted to see exotic Calgary, the jewel of Western Canada. He wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of a laid back culture and...kill them.

Walt only a pawn in game of life.


Weird I just had a robot chicken flashback, complete with that music...
Link PNSFSW
 
2012-08-07 10:44:22 PM  
This is too weird. I was one of the guys in the park. My cousin Ricky and I had a couple of Stampede tickets we weren't going to need, so we were asking people at the park if they'd been there yet. We walked up to some old guy who looked just like the guy in Bungle's pic, and this guy went ballistic on us when we asked. His eyes bugged out, his neck veins got all swollen, and he went off on us as he pushed his wife behind us. He said a lot more shiat than he says in TFA. Ricky and I were all like "Whatever, dude", so we kept walking. Too weird.
 
2012-08-07 10:45:28 PM  

albatros183: http://expatbrian.wordpress.com/2007/07/15/bush-all-hat-and-no-saddle /


Huh. Loonatic's been vindicated. Nice find!
 
2012-08-07 10:46:11 PM  

noblewolf:
/fricken retard


Always handy to have a way to know to completely dismiss the entire comment. Shame it comes at the end, though.
 
2012-08-07 10:46:13 PM  

kg2095: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: sno man: Hey Kalamazoo... Feel safer knowing this guy is serving and protecting you?

A couple of guys, (possibly beer fuelled, but whatever officer who should have at some point had some training in dealing with humans other that with the gun he didn't have...) come up to you in a park in the city that hosts Stampede, during Stampede, and ask if you've been yet and you feel threatened by that?!?

Yup, I'd feel safer.

You're assuming that the guy even had any awareness of what was going on in the city he was visiting. Sounds like your stereotypical "horrible American tourist" to me.

It should come as no surprise to anyone who has been paying attention that the American conservative's mind views its world through the lens of omnipresent fear.

More like hate than fear I think. And we really should find a more suitable term than conservative. They're too radical to be conservatives.



How about CAPITALIST begins with a "C" anyway or Libertarian
 
2012-08-07 10:49:05 PM  

Aidan: albatros183: http://expatbrian.wordpress.com/2007/07/15/bush-all-hat-and-no-saddle /

Huh. Loonatic's been vindicated. Nice find!


I do my best have had tubes for month until today and DNRTFA glad I can still participate :)
 
2012-08-07 10:51:40 PM  
Ya the guy's a douche.
 
2012-08-07 10:53:31 PM  

Aidan: loonatic112358: Aidan: Er. *cough* All hat, no cattle. Haven't heard the "no saddle" version before. Hadn't heard the phrase at all until I moved out of the prairies. Makes me think it's definitely a southern (TX, OK, etc) term.

cattle may have been the correct term, my recollection is rather fuzzy
i think i may have jammed a couple of things together in my head and created that

Honestly I kind of like it. Makes me think the person is so hopped up on their own awesomesauce that they're about to lose their ass. :)


Harry S Truman (or someone like that) called them "all hawk and no spit."
 
2012-08-07 10:54:29 PM  

Gyrfalcon: Harry S Truman (or someone like that) called them "all hawk and no spit."


Eww.
 
2012-08-07 10:55:57 PM  

namatad: Wookie Milson: My dog and I were approached on that very same hill by an elderly couple during a visit to Calgary. They said things like, "Hello" and, "Hope you have a great day." It was a terrifying experience. It never even occurred to me that I could, or should, just shoot 'em. Guess I got lucky. That time.

Is it possible he just didnt speak Canadian?
He heard: "stampeed warghallllllllllll rape rape rape"
What they said was: "do you have a phone? out friend is having a heart attack!"

they wandered off because this freak got in their face ... LOL


I was staying with friends, walking distance from the hill, and me and the dog went there everyday to enjoy the view. The fact that it isn't even close to downtown Calgary (and is actually in a very quiet suburb) makes this story extra amusing. It's literally just a big, featureless grassy hill where you'll never find anything more dangerous than mountain-bikers, hikers and dog walkers.
 
2012-08-07 10:56:26 PM  
BTW, the comments on that article are much better.
 
2012-08-07 10:59:22 PM  

Biner: This is too weird. I was one of the guys in the park. My cousin Ricky and I had a couple of Stampede tickets we weren't going to need, so we were asking people at the park if they'd been there yet. We walked up to some old guy who looked just like the guy in Bungle's pic, and this guy went ballistic on us when we asked. His eyes bugged out, his neck veins got all swollen, and he went off on us as he pushed his wife behind us. He said a lot more shiat than he says in TFA. Ricky and I were all like "Whatever, dude", so we kept walking. Too weird.


If this is true, that's hilarious.
 
2012-08-07 11:00:52 PM  
It horrifies me to think that some asshole who is just itching for a chance to "stand his ground" is allowed to have a badge and a gun. We need exactly zero cops like this out on the streets. :/

'merica, fark yeah.
 
2012-08-07 11:02:42 PM  

LordOfThePings: [nomoredirtylooks.com image 320x240]
[worldbirdinfo.net image 300x295]
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 242x299]


also:

www.learner.org
 
2012-08-07 11:02:47 PM  
My older brother is like this. He is ex military and got his concealed carry permit. He takes his gun everywhere that it's legal for him to do it. He had it in a holster on his back at my sons birthday party at a playworld place. Nothing but a bunch of kids under 10 years old, but he thinks he needs it all the time. He also won't ride in a car with anyone because he has to be in control all the time. He won't get in an elevator either. Kind of a dumbass sometimes.

I've had idiots approach me more times that I can count. Nothing has happened. Normally they are just idiots that are drunk or a little high.

Cops, even off duty have to be in control. I have been around enough of them to see that they are all the same. They want to be in charge of every situation even if they are off duty and it's none of their business. A couple arguing in Target about what cereal they should get. An off duty detective gets in between them and starts getting aggressive and pushy with the husband. He didn't identify himself and was trying to get the guy to hit him. The wife told him to fark off and he got really pissed and pulled out his badge. The couple had not even raised their voices they were just having a disagreement about cereal and the cop was trying to escalate it into assaulting an officer. There was a big crowd by now and we all told him to go fark himself and several people were taking video on their phones. Several asked for his name and badge number to file a complaint but he just took off out of the store and didn't answer anyone.

A police officer has to be in charge and has to have a weapon out to feel like he/she is in control. Pepper spray, taser or firearm, doesn't matter. They have to be on top of every situation. Even when they are not at work and need to mind their own business. I think weekly therapy sessions should be mandatory for all law enforcement and at the first hint of a psychological problem they should be taken off of patrol. There is a lot of mental illness in law enforcement. Nearly everyone I have ever met has been so aggressive you can feel it. Especially when they are dealing with someone much weaker than them. Just look at all the videos of cops being super aggressive to kids skateboarding or loitering. A couple of 13 year old kids are the perfect thing for a cop to take his anger out on. They cant hurt him and are likely not to complain and get them in trouble.

Law enforcement officer will have their gun out even in situations that it's not needed. They will tell you it's a tool to help them protect themselves and others around them. They will give you the old "it's better to have it out and not need it than to need it and not have it out" bullshiat. Even when they are dealing with kids. They want an excuse to hit someone, pepper spray them or tase them. They have an over powering need to be the most powerful one around every minute of their lives.
 
2012-08-07 11:03:02 PM  
What a friggin tool. I spent two week in Calgary, off McCleod Trail, for work. While your food was not all that great (its better than the Dutch), the hospitality was fine. I roamed around at night, drove to Banff for the weekend, hung out at few bar/grills in the area around my hotel and office. Not once did I find anyone threatening.

If fact, I have wandered alone and in small groups around many places outside the US. I can't remember anytime I have ever felt threatened. The 'closest' was a rowdy football pub in Glasgow. But we had a few brews, found out when to yell enthusiactically, and it was a great time.

It is truly sad that many Americans are simply just pussies in the depths of their heart. Yes there are terrible people out there, but by an large, most folks are good and are not looking to harm anyone. Just stay out the obviously shady areas and keep your wits about. Its really not too hard.
 
2012-08-07 11:09:58 PM  
As a Canadian travelling through the USA I have encountered more than a few men like this in the past week.

I can't help it. My natural inclination is to say "hey, howzit goin'?" when I pass a stranger on the street or at least to say "hi". I keep reminding myself not to do it but it just comes out automatically. The typical response seems to be "don't make eye contact and move away".

Haven't been shot at. Yet.

I like you, America, but you are a strange people in a lot of ways.

/posted from a cheap motel with crappy wifi in the southeastern corner of South Dakota
 
2012-08-07 11:13:20 PM  

noblewolf: Surool: Awwww. Did the poor little guy feel naked without his penis substitute?

This amuses me, because I'm sure your one of the people who say only Police should have guns. And this was a police offer, just not from Canada. So what is your farking issue? Is he just not qualified to protect himself and others in Canada?

/fricken retard


no. no he is not. Stay the fark home
 
2012-08-07 11:15:05 PM  

dstanley: also:

[www.learner.org image 736x484]


Dammit!

Nice.
 
2012-08-07 11:15:52 PM  
Fearful pig fearful
 
2012-08-07 11:17:07 PM  
Have you been to the stampede yet? Really? That's the phrase that made you piss your pants and weep like a schoolgirl looking at her first cock and curl up in a fetal ball of fear wishing you had your firearm to bring some semblance of manhood back to your person?

This guy has got to be the shiattiest cop in the world.
 
2012-08-07 11:18:37 PM  

Bill_Wick's_Friend: I can't help it. My natural inclination is to say "hey, howzit goin'?" when I pass a stranger on the street or at least to say "hi". I keep reminding myself not to do it but it just comes out automatically. The typical response seems to be "don't make eye contact and move away".


The best people in America, I find, are the ones working all the shiat jobs. I have had better and more satisfying connections with waiters and waitresses, checkout clerks, even low-level salesweasels than I ever have had with John Q. Public down here.

/That could be in part because I work in Rochester, where the rich asshole quotient is notably high
 
2012-08-07 11:19:21 PM  
Yeah - they sounded like a couple of real psychopaths - engaging strangers in conversation and all. I'm sure if they'd been wearing hoodies and carrying Skittles, Mr. Second Amendment would have shiat his pants.

Proof once again - if you're that uncomfortable without your concealed weapon, you're a farking pussy. I'll send you a nice Marc Jacobs purse that you can hide a gun in, Samantha.
 
2012-08-07 11:19:49 PM  

insertsnarkyusername: So police officers tend to lose confidence when they lose their guns?
/Cooked a meal for a mormon police chief of a small town and his wife recently. Over the meal they drank lemonade while I drank bourbon, we managed to have a great conversation about all kind of controversial subjects while disagreeing. When I mentioned that the average recruit and police culture were dangerous and irrational he dropped his head and said "I know, I try to weed it out but it seems the only people that want to be cops now are assholes".


This.
 
2012-08-07 11:20:29 PM  

wingnut396: If fact, I have wandered alone and in small groups around many places outside the US. I can't remember anytime I have ever felt threatened. The 'closest' was a rowdy football pub in Glasgow. But we had a few brews, found out when to yell enthusiactically, and it was a great time.

It is truly sad that many Americans are simply just pussies in the depths of their heart. Yes there are terrible people out there, but by an large, most folks are good and are not looking to harm anyone. Just stay out the obviously shady areas and keep your wits about. Its really not too hard.


Oh, for sure. I've wandered around by myself all over the world, gotten hopelessly lost in places where I spoke none of the language and had to rely on the kindness of strangers to point me in the right direction, and the biggest issue I've ever had was people being annoying trying to sell me crap. Don't do anything stupid and you're fine, yet everywhere I've gone I've come across Americans looking hilariously terrified and clutching their bags as if they're surrounded by Somali pirates or something.
 
2012-08-07 11:22:09 PM  
Oh, here he is again

http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/jesus-shaped-update-how-does-the- n ew-testament-speak-of-the-church
 
2012-08-07 11:24:49 PM  
Fixed:

http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/jesus-shaped-update-how-does-the- n ew-testament-speak-of-the-church
 
2012-08-07 11:25:52 PM  

Bill_Wick's_Friend: As a Canadian travelling through the USA I have encountered more than a few men like this in the past week.

I can't help it. My natural inclination is to say "hey, howzit goin'?" when I pass a stranger on the street or at least to say "hi". I keep reminding myself not to do it but it just comes out automatically. The typical response seems to be "don't make eye contact and move away".

Haven't been shot at. Yet.

I like you, America, but you are a strange people in a lot of ways.

/posted from a cheap motel with crappy wifi in the southeastern corner of South Dakota


You canucks with your aggressive friendliness....
 
2012-08-07 11:26:07 PM  
Try againderson boys.
 
2012-08-07 11:30:40 PM  

Godscrack: I thank the Lord Jesus Christ they did not pull a weapon of some sort,

Your welcome.

 
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