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(io9)   Luke Skywalker should have died in the tauntaun's belly. Here comes the science   (io9.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, Luke Skywalker, blood circulation, hypothermia, Hoth, chills, gastric acid, core temperature, body temperatures  
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7910 clicks; posted to Geek » on 07 Aug 2012 at 10:24 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-08-07 11:39:29 PM  
Your blog sucks.
 
2012-08-07 11:41:13 PM  

Gonz: TeamEd: Ok Farkers, I've got a question: how does Han use Luke's lightsaber to open up the Tauntaun? I thought you needed to use the force to wield a lightsaber.

Imagine holding an empty aluminum can or toilet paper roll. If you had to do something simple, like point it and slice open a tauntaun, you probably could. Now, imagine holding it and using the meter-long weightless blade to fight. You'd probably lose a limb.


What wielding a lightsaber might look like.

i830.photobucket.com


/i was looking for a hilarious comic about lopping your own limbs off with a lightsaber
//i like that better
 
2012-08-07 11:41:25 PM  
Or how about it is a stupid kids movie that adults feel the need to make part of our culture... Even though it and they suck balls.
 
2012-08-07 11:41:45 PM  

Mugato: What I don't get is why Han didn't take the Falcon instead of a taun taun.


It goes too fast for a reasonable search and rescue op. Duh.

/kessel run in less than 12 parsecs
 
2012-08-07 11:48:41 PM  

Premeditated_Road_Rage: MisterBill: Han said something like, "This will keep you warm until I can get the shelter set up." That may have only been in one of the myriad re-releases, though.

I seem to remember the same line.


I also remember seeing Han standing outside said shelter waving at the snowspeeders. I'm pretty sure it was in the mid-90s rerelease.

But my memory sucks.
 
2012-08-07 11:51:17 PM  
My GOD how bad DO they smell on the outside!?!?!?!?!
 
2012-08-08 12:02:50 AM  

GBmanNC: PC LOAD LETTER: [www.thinkgeek.com image 400x275]

I'd sleep like a farking baby in one if those.


You'd be dead!
 
2012-08-08 12:09:05 AM  
Tauntaun heat sink?

www.youcanbuildyourowncomputer.com
 
2012-08-08 12:09:55 AM  
"This is just geeky enough to be entertaining!"

*two paragraphs in*

"If I continue reading this, I'm going to kill myself."
 
2012-08-08 12:12:31 AM  
BREAKING NEWS

There was something in a Sci-Fi movie that wan't real!

I know they need to earn their paychecks over at Gawker Media, but that was a whole lotta time spent on a whole lotta nothing.

Besides, Han only needed to keep Luke warm until the shelter was up, not until morning.
 
2012-08-08 12:17:43 AM  

LewDux: GBmanNC: PC LOAD LETTER: [www.thinkgeek.com image 400x275]

I'd sleep like a farking baby in one if those.

You'd be dead!


Then he'll see you in hell!
 
2012-08-08 12:18:12 AM  

To The Escape Zeppelin!: Even more flawed is the assumption that Luke and Han are human. Cosmetically yes but since they clearly didn't evolve on Earth there's nothing to say that they aren't cold blooded or something else weird.


They are humans. Or at least close enough analogs to make no never mind. The look just like humans and act in every discernible way in the films just like humans. If they are cold-blooded, or have gills, or can breathe solid aluminum, they would be different enough that something would show as "not human".

Alephnaught: The author makes the assumption that the tauntaun hasn't involved a passive heating mechanism that continues after death


So now tauntauns have nuclear fusion gut bacteria. Yay?

How about we go with the fact that George Lucas knows absolutely nothing about any field of human knowledge at all, and basically he vomits derpitude on a page - but, because he has plasma swords, we make unreasonably high suspensions of disbelief on his complete and utter lack of even internal consistency.

Hell, The Jedi, by their own admission, are sociopaths. They do not talk about overcoming fear and emotion, but in never having emotions in the first place. The Jedi are the Dexterization of Force sensitives in the SW universe. They collect Force sensitives at birth (presumably kill the ones that are not mentally damaged), and raise them to channel their uncaringness into something reasonably socially acceptable*, and then pray that the training holds, because one slip and you have no choice but to join the Pol Pot Fan Club. Not to mention, the ability to use telekinesis is caused by a particularly nasty form of septicemia. And, since they discuss the Dark Side of the Force as being malevolent even in the absence of sentient beings, we have to conclude that those bacteria are actively evil in and of themselves.

Or, we can just say you cannot make any logical examinations of SW because Lucas didn't even rise to the level of Bayformers internal consistency.


* I do find it amusing that they train you to be a psychic warrior-monk with skills in using a semi-contained fusion reactor breach as a weapon, but that if you don't pan out, you have to be a lettuce-picker for the rest of your life. " We raised you to be a superhero anime samurai, but since you weren't quite good enough, the only job we can come with for you to do is migrant worker."
 
2012-08-08 12:21:18 AM  

cretinbob: It's a movie


you're boring
 
2012-08-08 12:21:26 AM  
Cut open furry animal to make fur coat. SCIENCE!
 
2012-08-08 12:26:01 AM  

The Voice of Doom: Old enough to know better
One would suspect with their technology, they have some pretty fancy versions of heat packs built into their gear. No doubt Han packed some extras before he ran out into the storm.

Yeah, given that he's Han Effing Solo, it's a pretty sure bet that he was packing heat.

*groan*


Literal lol. Thank you and goodnight, Sir.
 
2012-08-08 12:27:30 AM  
dvdmedia.ign.com

Just repeat to yourself it's just a show, I should really just relax...
 
2012-08-08 12:29:05 AM  

Surool: I know they need to earn their paychecks over at Gawker Media, but that was a whole lotta time spent on a whole lotta nothing.


They get paid for that shiat?
 
2012-08-08 12:33:15 AM  
Han shot Luke froze first!
 
2012-08-08 12:36:30 AM  
Han sliced first
 
2012-08-08 12:40:47 AM  
Uncle Ben combusted first.
 
2012-08-08 12:41:42 AM  

Premeditated_Road_Rage: Uncle Ben combusted first.


Uncle Owen combusted first.

/FTFM
 
2012-08-08 12:44:23 AM  

Premeditated_Road_Rage: Uncle Ben combusted first.


Uncle Owen combusted first. FTFY
 
2012-08-08 12:45:21 AM  
Nevermind
 
2012-08-08 01:07:45 AM  
youoffendmeyouoffendmyfamily.com

NEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRDS!!!
 
2012-08-08 01:13:23 AM  
It's amazing what you get to thinking about once you've given up all hope of ever getting laid in your entire life.
 
2012-08-08 01:52:12 AM  

ArkAngel: As for Han and the shelter, one would presume every tauntaun saddle is outfitted with cold-weather survival gear for the express danger of being caught out in the wild. It would have to be simple and easily built, in case the person caught outside was injured.


That's precisely the case. Han tells Luke that he'll need to stay in the tauntaun until he gets the shelter set up. He didn't need to find one (like the article says), there was a tent in a bag that he needed to pitch, which probably took him 20 or so minutes.
 
2012-08-08 01:56:31 AM  
yet another reason Empire was the worst of the six movies
 
2012-08-08 02:23:20 AM  

Nadie_AZ: Let me start at the beginning ...

[i.imgur.com image 600x450]


I was walking up to a Best buy and only half the glass wasn't open. Shutters were down. A small 8.5x11 sheet of paper had "We're open I assure you". My GF and I started dying and walked inside. The front entrance guy was laughing too and I went "Who put up that sign?" to which he replied "Me". I was forced to go "You shoe polish smelling mofo" and kept walking much to the laugh of about 10 people around us.

/CSB
 
2012-08-08 02:27:50 AM  

Premeditated_Road_Rage: Uncle Ben combusted first.


Dude, don't burn the rice.
 
2012-08-08 02:29:12 AM  

Mister Peejay: TeamEd: Ok Farkers, I've got a question: how does Han use Luke's lightsaber to open up the Tauntaun? I thought you needed to use the force to wield a lightsaber.

I think it's, you need the Force to WIELD a lightsaber, given how they have no blade mass and you really need to know where the beam is at all times.

Anybody can use one, but without the Force, you risk royally farking yourself up if you try to fight with it.

IIRC, General Grievous had zero Force ability, but he was pretty good with a light saber. Probably had some wicked anti-collision subroutines in his prosthetics, too.

/someone far more geeky than I will be by shortly to correct me or agree with me


Dooku trained Grievous in the Jedi fighting styles and lightsaber combat, plus his cyborg body gave him exceptional control and reaction. He could fight with five lightsabers at once, using one limb to stand on.

And for the record, I hate what Lucas did to him in the movie. Grievous was amazing in the cartoon, if they had carried that to the movie it would have been spectacular, but Lucas wanted to make some sort of statement with him about prototype technology and the follies of mixing man and machine and other nonsense. The CGI cartoon isn't much better, pretty much turned Grievous into a coward.
 
2012-08-08 03:31:55 AM  
Han cut the tauntaun open with a lightsabre. The interior wouldn't be wet, it would be seared. It'd be like being inside a poorly cooked steak.

Assuming the entire animal wouldn't have been subsequently heated to well above its body temperature by the latent heat from the burns.
 
2012-08-08 06:10:47 AM  

phalamir: So now tauntauns have nuclear fusion gut bacteria. Yay?


Doesn't need to be; merely anaerobic.

Mad Science Theory: They have anaerobic bacteria that provide heat/predigest food. When under extreme exercise the tauntaun breathes heavier, introducing oxygen to the bacteria; inhibiting their growth/metabolism. This helps maintain proper temperature - extra exertion produces heat directly, slows down the bacteria. When the Tauntaun dies, respiration stops and the bacteria eventually goes nuts(before it dies due to lack of new food).

Combined with heat from the saber, still advanced cold resistant clothing, followed quickly by the shelter, then a while in the magical regeneration 'bacta' tank to recover from the frostbite and such.
 
2012-08-08 06:31:54 AM  
A) why do they assume the tauntaun has the same internal body temp as a human?
B) Luke didn't spend the night in the damn thing....only a few minutes while Han set up an emergency shelter.
 
2012-08-08 08:03:16 AM  
I never understood why he didn't just bring an extra set of warm clothes.
 
2012-08-08 08:10:35 AM  
There was also a cave, right around the corner, that would have been perfect. Sure, there was a wampa with an arm off but they either could have scared him away or killed him outright for the cave!
I never get why Luke ran in the first place! He had a lightsaber for cryin' out loud!
 
2012-08-08 08:34:54 AM  

This assumption is incorrect:

Luke is swimming in a sea of blood, bodily fluids, and organs during his time inside the tauntaun.

This is essentially a liquid-like environment, one that will transmit the body temperature of the tauntaun well. To best model this scenario, merging Luke's body with the tauntaun becomes necessary, creating a one body system.


If you've ever gutted an animal, you'd be aware that the body cavity, once empty of guts, is not full of liquid. It's an airspace. There would be an insulating airspace between Luke's insulated suit and the taunton's body mass.

Sure, it's easier to do the calculations if you treat it as a single body, but easy calculations aren't particularly useful if they are contrary to reality.
 
2012-08-08 08:42:46 AM  

TeamEd: Ok Farkers, I've got a question: how does Han use Luke's lightsaber to open up the Tauntaun? I thought you needed to use the force to wield a lightsaber.


My understanding is that you need the force to use it finely, and to make the thing, because the crystals involved require such fine manipulation and precise alignment that even SW era technology was not capable of it without the force.

As for the heat from the blade, it only seems to hyper heat things that offer resistance, like metal and stone. Flesh would probably sear and not retain much heat. But depending on the ground type, attempting to heat rocks or the ground could have resulted in melting the ground out from under them entirely if they were on an ice shelf or something (given it was an ice locked planet that's fairly likely).

I think I've asked before, but are any of the books any good? I liked the goofy universe as a kid but haven't seen the movies in a decade or more. Just seems like there was a lot they could do with space anime ninja magicians.

And ya, Jedi are sociopaths when you look at it. It's freaky but I blame Lucas for wanting to create a stringent aesthetic society and simply doing it the easiest way possible. It's not like he planned to make it a 50 year project spanning millions of spinoffs.
 
2012-08-08 08:58:47 AM  

Skleenar: Sure, it's easier to do the calculations if you treat it as a single body, but easy calculations aren't particularly useful if they are contrary to reality.


Or, in this case, "reality".

WHAT DO TAUNTANS EAT?
 
2012-08-08 09:28:39 AM  
i.imgur.com

Dear Fark: Please end this 'business relationship' you have with Gawker. Their content sucks and is always stolen from other articles, yet it seems to make up 80% of greenlights these days. There are five posts before mine in this thread alone that are complaining about Gawker.

Seriously, it's dragging Fark down.
 
2012-08-08 10:20:29 AM  

kroonermanblack: As for the heat from the blade, it only seems to hyper heat things that offer resistance, like metal and stone. Flesh would probably sear and not retain much heat. But depending on the ground type, attempting to heat rocks or the ground could have resulted in melting the ground out from under them entirely if they were on an ice shelf or something (given it was an ice locked planet that's fairly likely).


It was too cold out for even heated stone to provide much benefit outside of shelter. It'd also be quite a trick to keep it from being 'hot enough' but not 'too hot'. It's not an evenly heating phaser, for example.

I think I've asked before, but are any of the books any good? I liked the goofy universe as a kid but haven't seen the movies in a decade or more. Just seems like there was a lot they could do with space anime ninja magicians.

Some are decent, many are horrible. It's been too long for me to state which ones are which, in my opinion.

And ya, Jedi are sociopaths when you look at it. It's freaky but I blame Lucas for wanting to create a stringent aesthetic society and simply doing it the easiest way possible. It's not like he planned to make it a 50 year project spanning millions of spinoffs.

This.

Skleenar: WHAT DO TAUNTANS EAT?


What I was thinking. When I was young and first saw the movie(still not first run), my thought was that they must of been imported from some semi-ice planet and fed on imported/hothouse grown food. Otherwise they'd have to be eating growths from hot springs or something.
 
2012-08-08 10:34:15 AM  
cheezcomixed.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-08-08 10:36:45 AM  
cheezcomixed.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-08-08 10:41:34 AM  

roughridersfan: roughridersfan: I'll have to check someday, but I thought the scene from the next day showed Han standing by a tent as a search ship flew past. Maybe he put Luke in there after using the TaunTaun as a temporary warming spot.

Just took a look. Not a tent and it may be the TaunTaun covered in snow, but I'm not sure. There were some antennae behind it. Han grabbed some stuff off the TaunTaun after sticking Luke in it, so maybe he was setting up a better shelter for him and Luke.


There's also the line where Han says "This'll keep you warm until I get the shelter set up" or some such.
 
2012-08-08 10:48:51 AM  

kroonermanblack: TeamEd: Ok Farkers, I've got a question: how does Han use Luke's lightsaber to open up the Tauntaun? I thought you needed to use the force to wield a lightsaber.

My understanding is that you need the force to use it finely, and to make the thing, because the crystals involved require such fine manipulation and precise alignment that even SW era technology was not capable of it without the force.

As for the heat from the blade, it only seems to hyper heat things that offer resistance, like metal and stone. Flesh would probably sear and not retain much heat. But depending on the ground type, attempting to heat rocks or the ground could have resulted in melting the ground out from under them entirely if they were on an ice shelf or something (given it was an ice locked planet that's fairly likely).

I think I've asked before, but are any of the books any good? I liked the goofy universe as a kid but haven't seen the movies in a decade or more. Just seems like there was a lot they could do with space anime ninja magicians.

And ya, Jedi are sociopaths when you look at it. It's freaky but I blame Lucas for wanting to create a stringent aesthetic society and simply doing it the easiest way possible. It's not like he planned to make it a 50 year project spanning millions of spinoffs.



I like the Thrawn trilogy best. It's what episodes 7-9 should be if they were ever made. Outbound Flight and Survivors Quest also have to do with events mentioned in the Thrawn Trilogy.

The Darth Bane trilogy is very good to, you lean a lot about the dark side of the force and the Sith.

I, Jedi is also highly rated but I didn't care for the writing style and parts of the way the story was told. It's worth the read though because you learn a lot about Jedi training and how a light saber is made.

I always wondered why light sabers were not more common among non-Jedi. They seem like they would make for a good backup weapon and all-purpose emergency cutting tool. You could even have a small knife like tool with a short blade. Sure it would be somewhat dangerous but hardly on the level of requiring a Jedi to use. The answer, according to the books, is that they require the force to properly combine the parts and form the crystal.

Also, as has been mentioned the cut would have been cauterized so there would not be much fluid. The heat from the tauntaun would have quickly warmed Luke up and once that happened Luke's own body heat would keep the inside of the tauntaun warm. I'm guessing the time of death calculations do not account for a heat generating living organism inside the deceased one. It was also no clear if the article's write accounted for the difference in mass vs. surface area of the animal. The larger the animal the more slowly they will lose heat because they have less surface area per mass unit and thus loose heat more slowly than physically smaller organism.
 
2012-08-08 10:54:52 AM  

Robert Farker: I like the Thrawn trilogy best. It's what episodes 7-9 should be if they were ever made.


Yeah, furry worms that eat the Force and clones with extra silent vowels in their names were awesome.
 
2012-08-08 11:08:24 AM  
From the article...
Any feces that comes in contact with these open wounds would make for a wonderful breading ground for infection.


Okay...Breading...

img.metro.co.uk
 
2012-08-08 01:01:51 PM  

Samwise Gamgee: Dear Fark: Please end this 'business relationship' you have with Gawker. Their content sucks and is always stolen from other articles, yet it seems to make up 80% of greenlights these days. There are five posts before mine in this thread alone that are complaining about Gawker.

Seriously, it's dragging Fark down.



Don't spend a lot of time over at the Politics Thread do you? It's a Townhall/Crappy WingNut Blog version of what you just described.

And yes, "you'llgetoverit"/"welcometofark" pic
 
2012-08-08 01:20:34 PM  
Well, now that we have that all figured out, can you scientists get back to work on finding a cure for a disease? ANY disease?
 
2012-08-08 01:57:27 PM  

radiovox: Well, now that we have that all figured out, can you scientists get back to work on finding a cure for a disease? ANY disease?


Multiple choice:

A. This is what they do in their off-time.

B. Do you really want Mr. Jedi Non-Expert to be the guy heading Ebola Eradication? Dude would probably work up some stupid thing involving Ewoks and ropes.

C. It's a group effort, we need to start with Project Shut Up, can you help? OH SNAP. South Carolina what's up????
 
2012-08-08 01:58:53 PM  
(yeah, I was just reading the Idiocracy thread again)
 
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